Synopsis: My wife puts me in a chastity device.
My wife of 10 years likes to tie me down to the bed and play-torture me with different whips, a paddle to my butt, and that sort of thing. It isn’t that painful and gets her ready for our weekly sex. One time she tried a clothespin on my nipple but that hurt like hell and I immediately screamed the safe word so she took it off. I don’t mind this playtime because without it we’d have even less sex. Weekly isn’t enough for me so I masturbate twice a week but I don’t let my wife know this as it would probably hurt her feelings. If I masturbate more often than twice a week then it affects my performance with my wife on the weekend so I keep it at twice a week unless my wife is going to be out of town for the weekend.
One Saturday night when I was tied spread-eagled to the bed, naked, and a ball gag was in my mouth, my wife said to me “Honey, I would like to talk to you about something.” She never calls me honey during our playtime, it is always slave, slaveboy, pet, or some other demeaning name. But this time it was honey. She continued, “I’m going to do something you aren’t going to like and I need you to stay calm.” To my alarmed look she said “It won’t hurt.”
She went into her bathroom and brought back some sort of hand-sized contraption. She held it close to my face for me to see but I couldn’t tell what it was. It was a sort of see-through curved cylindrical box with a ring attached and a padlock.
My wife said “This is a male chastity device.” That shocked me and I tried to say “Chastity?!” but it was completely muffled by the ball gag. “I am going to lock you in this until next week. We won’t have sex tonight. I know that is disappointing but it will make for an interesting week.”
I was almost in shock. I love my wife dearly and would even put up with being tied down and whipped but going a week locked in that penis-shaped box at first seemed farther than I was willing to go. But I didn’t react as she was talking because I love her. I know she loves me and I trust her with all of my heart so I didn’t react as she placed the base of my penis and balls inside the ring within the box, locked it so that the ring could not move, and then took the key and hid it in another room. My flaccid member fit snug in the box and there was an opening on the end for me to pee but it would not let me have an erection.
My wife returned and didn’t look at my fearful face as she said “I am going to leave you like this for a while to let you think about it and calm down.” She then turned on the bedroom TV and allowed my thoughts to race.
What the hell is this about? Is she trying to tell me that she does not want to have sex with me any more? Why couldn’t we just talk about it? Actually, I think I get it, she does not want me to masturbate but she doesn’t want to embarrass me by letting me know that she is aware of my twice weekly sessions. That still doesn’t make sense, we have always talked about issues together, this was at best devious and at worst evil to just lock me in this thing without talking about it. Because my mouth is gagged I can’t even say the safe word!
My wife is not the manipulative type, quite the opposite. One of the many things I love about her is that she does not try to manipulate me like some of my work friends complain about their wives. So what is going on here?
I need to calm down, like she said. I love her and she loves me. I am sure of that, she doesn’t hate me and this isn’t her way of showing her hate. But I’m beginning to have doubts. She must have learned how important it is for me to masturbate, is this the beginning of the end of our marriage?
Calm down. Damn, this thing is already messing with my head. Let’s try something different. I love her and would be willing to do almost anything for her and our marriage. I trust her with my well-being, I think, and even if I don’t it wouldn’t be a good idea to risk angering her as she could withhold the key. So my strategy is to completely go along with this as if there is no problem. Hopefully she would see that this is me showing my love to her that I trust her completely.
Ok, I can live with that.
Could I live a week without masturbation? Just to see what would happen I tried that a couple of times but I had failed. Why would I want to stop myself from doing something so enjoyable? I guess now the answer is for the love of my life, for my wife I would stop for a week.
After her half-hour TV show was done my wife asked me if I was doing okay and I nodded and when she asked if the chastity cage hurt at all I shook my head no. She then said “Like I mentioned earlier, this is going to stay on all week. Next Saturday night, if you have been good, I will remove it and we will have sex.” To my questioning look she said “Yes, only if you have been good. Are you going to be good?” I nodded my head.
My wife removed the ball gag and then untied me. I had a mix of emotions going through my head. It really was alarming for her to do anything to me without my consent and it was alarming that she would even ask me not to masturbate for a week let alone enforce it. I thought about using the safe word but I worried that it wouldn’t work, she was already past the line of consent and if I said the safe word and she didn’t end this then that would really make things uncomfortable between us and she could withhold the key.
I didn’t like how this was going. That’s twice already my decisions were being affected because she could withhold the key.
I like harmony in our marriage and I wanted to show my love so I didn’t say anything negative. When I was untied I hugged my wife and simply said “I love you.” She hugged me back and said “I love you, too, very much.”
The rest of the evening was uneventful as she read her usual fashion and gossip web sites and answered her e-mails while I played video games on my PC in the other room. Because we didn’t have sex that night I wanted to visit my usual web sites and masturbate but that was out of the question with this thing on.
I took a closer look at what imprisoned me. The ring around my balls and the base of my penis was not tight but it was a bit uncomfortable. The clear cage was made of some sort of hard durable plastic and with my penis inside I wasn’t going to try breaking the plastic with any sort of tools. I took a deep breath and for the health of our marriage allowed my wife to control me for now.
It felt strange. I could go without sex or masturbation for the night, that was no problem, but not feeling free to do whatever I wanted to do was very strange. I have lived my whole life with freedom as the primary focus, my own freedom to do whatever the hell I wanted and the freedom of other people. I was lucky and ecstatic to find a wife who shared my point of view, we are very sensitive to each other’s freedom for her to go out with her friends, for me to play video games, for us to discuss whatever is on our minds, and for everything else we do. I always encourage her to tell me if she doesn’t feel like washing the dishes one night and I am glad to take care of it.
So now this chastity thing completely shoves that back in my face. Not only am I not free to do what I want to do – and it’s not just anything, it’s something which is extremely pleasurable – but this was perpetrated on me by the very wife who has spent 10 years with me nurturing our freedoms.
I decided to look up male chastity devices on the internet to learn maybe why my wife did this to me. That was a bad idea. I was in horror reading about the effect of these, how males lives can be completely changed and they could easily be made like a slave to the keeper of the key. For some males this was exciting to them but I didn’t understand that because they couldn’t become excited at all due to the flaccid penis-sized cage, I guess whatever floats their boat is fine but this is not my idea of fun. The common theme, though, seemed to be to make the male weak and submissive, slavish.
I also saw a much smaller theme which was for wives to stop their husbands from cheating on them when they were away. This was less horrific to me, I could understand this because I know that infidelity is a huge issue for many marriages. Did my wife think I was cheating on her? That was disturbing but at least I could understand it. I would never cheat on my wife and I think or thought she knew that but maybe that is the reason for this. If so, then that could make this ordeal more bearable. But then would that mean she would want me to wear this every week? That would not be bearable, no matter the reason.
I didn’t want to cause disharmony by bringing this up with my wife but I had to. I was horrified reading about the effect this could have on me and I needed her to calm my fears.
I went into her PC room and said “Sweetie, is it okay if we talk?”
She replied “Of course, honey, what is on your mind?” I love how each of us always stops whatever we are doing when the other enters the room.
I asked “Why did you put this on me?”
She replied “Because I want you to be a good boy.”
I said “What do you mean ‘a good boy’?”
She said “Be a good boy and get me a glass of water.”
I was puzzled. She didn’t need to demean me. I am always glad to get her water or whatever else she wants. If this is being a good boy, then she already had that.
I fetched a glass of water and when I returned I said “Is this being ‘a good boy’?”
She said “Kneel.”
What the hell?! This was pushing it.
I rarely get angry. At times I get frustrated at the government, at my job, driving my car in traffic, or even when I am having trouble getting through a section in a video game, but I almost never get angry. If someone does something I don’t like such as cut me off in traffic I rarely get angry at them because they aren’t trying to cause me pain, they are just careless, blind, stupid, or whatever.
This time I was angry. At my wife for humiliating me like this.
I swallowed my pride and knelt. I’m sure she could tell that I was fuming but she patted my head like a dog and said “Good boy.” She turned back to her e-mails so I got up and left.
Why didn’t I say something? I have learned to try never to say something when I am frustrated or angry. I can’t think straight in these situations and words would not be thought out to do justice to my thoughts and feelings. In general I would say things I regretted later so I learned that it’s better just to not say anything until later.
This time, however, I regretted not saying anything at the moment. My wife purposefully humiliated me. She knew that her request or command would make me angry, she saw the anger in my entire body once I knelt, and yet she went ahead with a fucking “Good boy” to rub it in my face.
I sat back down at my PC and felt like punching my fist through the monitor or throwing something against the wall. My wife clearly has some sort of hatred for me or something, well, I guess nothing is clear right now through the haze of anger so maybe I should stop drawing conclusions.
I then realized that I was over-reacting. I should calm down and figure out what is going on but in the meantime I should get my mind off of this. It was difficult to do, though, with this fucking chastity thing on me. Fuck this thing.
This wasn’t like me to get all worked up. This thing is messing with me, just like the internet sites said it would. It’s only been on for a couple of hours and already I feel owned by it.
It’s messing with my wife, too, she is not the same tonight. I think what is hurting me right now is that I can’t feel the love I always feel from my wife. I’m not calm yet but I need to talk with her now to either feel the love or learn that it is gone. I need to know.
I walked into her room and said “Do you still love me?”
She was surprised by my question. “Yes, dear, I love you now more than ever. Please sit down, let’s talk.”
Good, she was not shutting me out. I needed back into her heart.
She continued “I need you to trust me. I do love you and even though it seems contrary, I have put this on you because I love you.” I gave her a strong look of doubt and she said “Like I said, I need you to trust me. I know how difficult this will be for you and I hate to cause you so much discomfort. But it is for the best. Please trust me.”
I said “Sweetie, I do trust you but I don’t trust this thing on me, it messes with people’s minds and I’ve already felt it messing with mine.”
She said “I know. I have done a lot of research on this and talked with a few women who have had experience with this.” She seemed to have more to say on this point but stopped herself and there was an awkward pause.
I asked “Why did you find it necessary to humiliate me earlier?”
She replied “I don’t think it was necessary, it was just fun” and smiled.
I blinked my eyes in surprise. That is not an acceptable answer. I said the safe word.
She paused and said “Look, I know that this is all shocking to you but you said that trusted me and I need you to trust me and trust that I know what I’m doing. This is very important to me. Okay?”
That was it. I had said the safe word and she did not stop. It was my wife who stressed the importance and sanctity of a safe word. If ever I were to say the safe word then all activities and conversation would stop and she would completely attend to whatever I needed.
I had only said the safe word a few times: one time due to the clothespin on my nipple which was too painful; one time when she was playing at threatening me with a knife while I was tied up, I knew for sure that she wouldn’t cut me but I was too freaked out; and one time when I was tied up and she tried to put her toes in my mouth for me to suck because I wasn’t okay with that at all. Every time I said it my wife immediately stopped what she was doing, untied me, and hugged me tight and we talked about it so that I would feel better. She would then thank me for saying the safe word and tell me that she held it as a sacred trust between us.
This time, she barely even acknowledged that I said it. She crossed the line.
Maybe at this point some men or most men might go ballistic or reject her plea for trust. It would not be unreasonable for me to argue with her or at least tell her that she has crossed the line and that this was completely unacceptable.
But I’m a different man. I pride myself in that. The wife I love, the only woman I have ever loved, the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with has asked me to trust her. She has gone past her own rules and limits to basically plead with me to trust her. She has purposefully caused me anguish which is the last thing she would want to do, all for whatever purpose she is trying to get at.
It must be important. This was a big test of my love for her and today I passed the test.
I said “I trust you sweetie. I will be a good boy.”
I felt a glow of pride and joy that I was able to answer her great need, even though I didn’t know what that need was.
She replied “Thank you.” She got up and we hugged. She didn’t apologize so I knew that was forbidden her by whatever she was trying to accomplish but I was okay with that.
As I sat back in my room I decided that I was okay with whatever she wanted to do as long as it wasn’t painful such as a clothespin on the nipple. I felt like the safe word would still work in that sort of situation, but I wasn’t sure. I knew the safe word would not work when it came to humiliation, though. If she told me to kneel I would have to kneel.
Why would I have to obey? Because of the damn chastity thing on me. If I disobeyed then next Saturday night could be a very awkward situation. I’m not worried that she would not agree to take it off, or at least I think I’m not worried about that, I just don’t want to have an argument or even stress. I didn’t want to risk it. Plus I trust my love, she would not put me through this without an amazing reason.
The rest of the night was uneventful and Sunday passed with only slight discomfort. I was able to pee without a problem, it was a bit awkward at first but not difficult. My wife and I were fine together with our usual relationship, I did not bring up the chastity issue and she was also content to avoid the subject. On Sunday night in the PC game I was playing there was a scantily-clad lady, nothing risqué, just standard for PC games nowadays and I started to think that I should browse my usual web sites for a session. I couldn’t, of course, and had to force myself to think of something else because I was feeling discomfort due to the cage.
My wife had me helping with some chores around the house but that wasn’t all that unusual. I did a bit of vacuuming and she had shown me which liquids to use with each type of load for the laundry years ago so I was okay with helping on that. I didn’t mind doing dishes because she cooked a good meal.
At work on Monday I initially felt as though everyone was looking at my crotch but that was ridiculous because there was no outward sign of the chastity device as I had worn loose-fitting undershorts and pants. I was self-conscious about it all day but did not interfere with me enough to cause a problem.
When I got home after my wife greeted me with the usual kiss she said “Do you know what I’ve been looking forward to all day?” I replied “What?” She said “I would like you to get on your knees and kiss my feet!”
I was dumbfounded. After a tough day at work I had to go through this? Whatever. I’m too tired to argue. Before I made up my mind she pointed to her feet and commanded “Get on your knees and kiss my feet.” She was barefoot and I would guess that her feet were dirty but when I got down there I just closed my eyes and kissed her foot. As I started to get up she said “Now the other one” so I kissed the other foot.
She didn’t press her luck the rest of the evening and the rest of the night was normal, or as normal as it can be for the humiliation I was feeling.
I felt owned. I felt as though I was slowly being punched in the stomach. I wanted to close my eyes and shut out the world until Saturday night. I certainly didn’t feel horny so the cage was not a problem, being under my wife’s thumb was not my idea of enjoyment. It was difficult for me to feel my love for her but I told myself that it was just a few more days and I trusted her.
If she betrayed my trust, if this was not for a good reason and she was just being evil … well, I didn’t even want to think what I would do. In that case she had better come up with an amazing apology.
I had to calm my emotions several times Monday night, even though she wasn’t doing anything in particular to humiliate me and I wasn’t even feeling like the cage was getting in my way.
Tuesday was even more difficult. Normally I would have masturbated that night so all during the day I considered if there was a way to ask to be released without it causing marital stress. It had been 5 days since my last orgasm, since we didn’t have sex on Saturday, and that was a long time. A long long time for me. Every now and then during the day at work I would type a question to ask and then delete it as it would have just caused marital stress.
“Sweetie, how about if we temporarily take this off just for a few minutes tonight so I could touch myself? It has been 10 days since we last had sex and that is a long time for a man.” I figured she would easily say no to this and ask me again to trust her, plus the guilt approach could cause her more anguish which would cause more stress for both of us. So I abandoned this. Also, it was not being a ‘good boy’ for me to say this sort of thing and I didn’t want stress on Saturday night.
“Sweetie, I love you with all of my heart and I would do anything for you. But this is hurting me, it is very uncomfortable and is chaffing me.” The second sentence of this was a lie and I could never lie to my wife, it hurt me too much to lie. Plus if she looked closely she could see that there was no chaffing and I would be caught lying, that would not be being a ‘good boy.’
“Sweetie, I am on my knees begging you, please take this off me. I will kiss your feet. Please.” That was pathetic but I would do that if that would work. It wouldn’t work, though. She seemed resolute in whatever purpose she was trying to accomplish with this.
I would reduce myself to begging just because of this thing. And I couldn’t even say what I would want to say because of this thing. When this thing was finally removed on Saturday night, my wife and I would have a good long talk, I was sure of that.
I was grumpy on the drive home Tuesday afternoon. Fuck this thing. Fuck myself for not taking hold of my wife and shaking her until she told me where the key was.
I almost started crying. I could never hurt my wife. I would never hurt her. I would kill myself before hurting her. That was the honest truth.
Deep breath. New goal in life for the next week: s.t.a.y. c.a.l.m. What is the big fucking deal, I mean what is the big deal, no playing with myself this week. Big deal. I was being a baby and I needed to stop that, I was only hurting myself.
My first strategy in my new goal is to concentrate on my breathing all night, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Just relax. To finish the drive home I put on some new age calming music, that always helps calm my racing thoughts anyway.
My second strategy is to offer to kiss my wife’s feet when I get home. I don’t give a …, I mean I don’t care one way or the other so I will avoid the stress and just offer to do it. It wasn’t so bad last night so whatever.
My third strategy is to just play my video games all night. I won’t ignore my wife but I would rather not be around her in case something stressful comes up.
Good plans. That’s what I needed, good plans.
I was relaxed when I got home and after my wife and I kissed hello I said “Sweetie, would you like me to kiss your feet?”
She beamed “Yes, that would be great!” So I kissed her feet, not quick pecks, they were decent kisses.
After I got back up off the floor she hugged me and I hugged back, it was a good long hug. I started to feel a stirring in my groin so I had to concentrate to stop that and then it was okay.
When we ended the hug she said “Have you heard about the new lineup on TV tonight?” This was good news because it meant that she would be occupied by TV tonight and would probably leave me alone. I hate TV, it is boring as hell and with such over-the-top bad acting and writing that it makes me almost sick to watch.
I replied “No, are there good new shows?”
She said “Yes, and you are going to watch them with me. You are going to enjoy them.”
I said “Sweetie, you know that I don’t like TV.”
She agreed “Yes but you will like these shows.”
I asked “Why? What is different about these tonight?”
She responded “Because I want you to watch them with me.”
I stopped and tried to understand the logic. Either she was running circles around my logic or it was just circular logic.
Into my confusion she said with a more commanding tone “Watch them with me.”
I almost didn’t hear her. I was concentrating on her words from a few days ago: “Trust me.” I guess I decided a few days ago to completely sacrifice a week of my life to her so it was just time for me to suck it up and accept my sacrifice.
I said “Okay.”
My wife made another good dinner and I was glad to wash the dishes again. I was calm. After the first couple of days of being anxious and my thoughts racing it felt good for my mind to be at peace again.
This is what it probably feels like to be a eunuch. Mindlessly content. That’s an overly dramatic comparison, though, this was just for one week and gives me a way to show the depth of my love and trust for my wife, albeit an extreme way.
After dinner we watched a news talk show on TV, this was not one of the new shows my wife had been talking about but I don’t mind news talk shows much because at least they have some intelligence even though they are mostly boring to watch. As one of the new shows was about to begin my wife made some popcorn and we shared it. I don’t really like popcorn and don’t usually snack after dinner but it felt good to be sharing some quality time with my love.
After several minutes of watching sitcom TV, I realized again how much I hate this sort of stuff. It became painful to watch. But my new strategy has nothing to do with enjoying myself, it is to stay calm so I let my mind drift off even as my eyes stared at the TV.
My wife must have noticed because during a commercial she asked me a question about something which had just happened on the show and was disappointed when I didn’t have an answer. We were sitting on opposite ends of the couch which faces the TV with space between us and she told me “If you aren’t going to pay much attention to the show then at least you can pay attention to me” and she swung her legs up onto the couch and put her bare feet in my lap.
She said “Rub my feet” and looked away to watch the end of the commercial.
Calm. It’s ok, I am calm. Long talk on Saturday night, very long talk.
I rubbed her feet as the show was back on. As I was rubbing her feet I realized that this was preferable to having to pay attention to that stupid TV show. I focused more on her feet and what I could do which would be enjoyable to her. I knew that she didn’t like her feet to be tickled so I pressed my thumb into the sole of her foot so it wouldn’t tickle and concentrated on massaging her feet as she occasionally moaned in contentment. I squeezed the balls of her feet and she moaned approvingly. I rubbed each toe individually and she said “My gosh that feels wonderful.”
I was able to stay calm. Here I was, instead of vanquishing dragons or saving princesses I was rubbing my wife’s feet, it was humiliating and I was sure that she was enjoying my humiliation not to mention the foot massage but this was part of the sacrifice I was making for my wife. To be made a complete and utter fool of and probably laughed at when this is all over, but whatever.
I reached over to get a tissue to wipe the tears which were at the edges of my eyes. When my wife asked if something is wrong I said “No, just some dust got into my eyes.”
I rubbed her feet for almost two hours watching, or not really watching, the damn TV. When the new shows were over she swung her feet back to the floor and said “Honey, that was absolute heaven.” She moved to my side of the couch and kissed my cheek as she said “You have been a wonderful good boy.” She then left to go check her e-mails.
Was that supposed to be a thank you? Am I supposed to be glad about being a ‘good boy’? As I thought about it, yes I guess I was supposed to be glad about that, it meant that we were on target for Saturday night and that was my goal.
After 2 hours of emotional torture, now that I was alone at my PC I needed some release but I was denied even that by the fucking chastity device. This next hour before bedtime would be very tough, I needed to stay calm so I just launched a video game and tried not to think about anything else. There was a scantily-clad lady in the game and I almost said out loud “Fuck you!” to her, or to it, whatever.
Why do I have such hostility in me? In writing this journal – which I refuse to go back and edit because it shows my true feelings – I realize that I have typed the F-word more times than I have ever even thought about that word in my life. Everyone who knows me knows that I don’t have a hostile bone in my body. I get a bit tense at times during stressful situations such as at work sometimes but most everyone does, I am calmer than most people by far!
No sex for 10 days, big deal. It’s not as though I don’t have other things to do. I guess also 7 days of humiliation, that’s something else I have to put up with, and 7 days of not knowing what is the point of all of this. But I get the benefit of doing these things for the love of my life, making a sacrifice sort of like a noble sacrifice made by some of the characters in the video games I play. Those characters can make sacrifices with no problem, can’t I?
Yes I can.
But I can’t escape the hostility in me, I guess it’s not healthy to deny my own feelings. I can’t stop my fucking hostility. I laughed. Maybe I am going crazy but it’s just for a week and for a good cause. Or at least it better be.
By the time my wife and I kissed each other good night in bed, I was okay and I was calm, it was a successful evening.
Wednesday was more of the same though thankfully I did not need to watch more awful sitcom and melodrama TV once the news talk shows were over. After work I did have to prostrate myself in front of my wife kissing her bare feet over and over until she was satisfied and I washed the dishes and gave her a 30-minute neck and shoulder massage as she read and responded to e-mails from her friends and family but it was okay and I was calm until I sat back at my PC later in the evening.
I really wanted release. Not so much physical because feeling owned and humiliated was not turning me on at all, quite the opposite, but emotionally I had been a ‘good boy’ and I deserved some pleasure time. I couldn’t help but pout as I read through my own e-mails. It was bad timing for me to receive one of those penis enhancement e-mails, I almost said Fuck You to my PC monitor as I pounded on the arm of the couch. My wife poked her head in my room and fortunately I had suppressed my anger enough to say “Nothing, one of the players on my fantasy football team got hurt today.” I was surprised she didn’t see the fumes pouring from every orifice in my body. I was as angry as I think I had ever been.
I needed a drink. But I don’t drink, ever. Alcohol just tastes bad. At this time, though, I wish I had developed a taste for it. I thought about taking a hammer to my head to knock myself out but that was ridiculous.
So I just sat on my couch next to my PC and fumed. I did not notice the time but it was a while before I was aware of my surroundings again. I was too angry to enjoy a video game so I turned the TV on and just flipped channels.
In the higher numbers of the channels on satellite TV I noticed that there was a show about sex toys. Can they really talk about that stuff on TV? These two beautiful women were …. Oh shit, I need to change the channel now. My would-be hard-on was very uncomfortably constricted in the cage and I was squirming to deal with the discomfort. I closed my eyes but saw those two women in my mind so I opened my eyes and watched the stupid game show which had appeared when I randomly changed the channel. That worked quickly to stop the discomfort.
Actually, the show wasn’t bad. It wasn’t just spin a wheel and see what happens, you had to think about strategy in what you wanted to do. I tried to think of what I would do in a participant’s situation then I stopped myself. Am I really watching a fucking game show? Am I really thinking about game show fucking strategy?!
Deep breaths, in-nose, out-mouth.
This is silly, I know. I am getting all melodramatic at the drop of a hat. All week my emotions have been almost out of control. This didn’t happen when I tried those couple of times to avoid masturbating for a week. But then I didn’t have my wife lording it over me and humiliating me each night.
Am I that emotionally weak to let this affect me this much? Apparently so. Well, I needed to gather my strength because there were still 3 more days remaining.
That evening, after we kissed each other good night in bed which is usually the last thing we do before we sleep, my wife said “I enjoyed that foot massage you gave me last night. I want another one tonight.”
I had enjoyed my relatively calm emotional state for the past hour and didn’t want to try to sleep all riled up so I pushed my covers off, walked around the bed to sit at the end, pushed aside the ends of her covers, and massaged her feet.
I started to think about what other choices I had, what I could say instead of humiliating myself this way, but I just wanted this night to end and to stay calm so I could sleep so I kept rubbing her feet. I wasn’t sure how long I was supposed to do this but fortunately I could tell that she fell asleep after a few minutes so I went back into bed to sleep.
I am ashamed now to put this in my journal but I cried myself to sleep.
Thursday was even worse. My wife woke me up just before the alarm by putting her bare feet in my face and laughed at me. I don’t mind playfulness but under the circumstances I didn’t need it to be literally rubbed in my face.
When I got home from work I of course lay on the floor and kissed her bare feet over and over again until she was satisfied but after I changed out of my work clothes she sat on the living room couch and said “Come here.” My internal alarm bells went off immediately because it seemed like more of a command but I managed to stay calm.
As I approached her she straightened her leg and placed her foot on the couch, saying “Kneel at my foot.”
How far would I let this go? This was really too far. But I held onto the idea of sacrificing for my wife, and wanting a smooth Saturday night and all of that. So I knelt in front of her foot.
She said “Suck my toes.”
I gave her a sour look and said “Ewww!”
She said “Oh come on, it’s not that bad. Just do it!”
I said “Seriously? You haven’t even cleaned your foot, it’s dirty!”
She said “You’re right. Before sucking my toes I want you to lick all of the dirt off my foot. NOW!”
I looked straight into her eyes trying to will her to change her mind. It seemed like an eternity but it was only a few seconds and in that time my mind raced. She was being horrible to me now and if I didn’t appease her I began to really worry about what might happen Saturday night. Would we divorce? I didn’t want that but I didn’t want this horrible treatment either. How can she live with herself after Saturday night when she finds out how painful this week has been for me? Maybe I should stop her now from doing this, before it gets to a point of no return?
But she has changed this week. Maybe all of my notions of her are out of the window. Maybe she truly enjoys me as being completely her bitch. Maybe she won’t unlock me Saturday night!
I slumped my shoulders and cast my eyes downward, she said “Damn right you will.”
Then I realized I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t force my tongue against her somewhat dirty sole. It was like telling me to fly to the moon. I said “I … I can’t” and pleaded with my eyes.
Fortunately, she did not take this as disobedience, she had compassion, if you could call it that, in her voice as she said “Honey, yes you can, just stick your tongue out and slowly move your head forward without stopping. Then once your tongue is pressed against my foot move your head up and down.”
I stuck my tongue out and tried to move my head forward toward her foot which was only inches away. It felt like I was pulling a truck as my head just didn’t want to move but I was able to move it forward inch by inch until my tongue pressed up against her somewhat dirty foot.
This moment was a shock to my entire body. I felt waves of humiliation and tears started running down my face. I pushed my head up to lick her foot and began to sob. I had only licked for a few seconds when my wife said “Okay, okay, you can stop.”
I pulled my tongue back in my mouth and pressed my head into the floor as I cried and sobbed like a baby who had lost its mother. I had lost my pride, my self. I felt dead.
My wife punctuated the moment by resting her bare feet on my head. I cried under my wife’s feet and felt like I would never recover from this.
After a few minutes I had stopped crying but I stayed under her feet until she lifted them off me a few minutes later to finish preparing dinner. I helped set the table and ate dinner while feeling like a zombie, I was barely aware of my surroundings. The dinner was again good and that helped me out of my state and I noticed that my wife had been looking at me through most of dinner. I think she enjoyed seeing my complete state of humiliation and when I noticed this I felt like crying again but I had no more tears in me.
After I washed the dishes while she checked her e-mail, we watched news talk TV while I rubbed her feet. By this time I realized that I had already made my decision to sacrifice this entire week for her and this wasn’t so bad, not nearly as bad as earlier … I don’t even want to think about that.
After news talk she reviewed some cooking and fashion web sites while I massaged her neck and shoulders for a half hour. She then said what I was waiting for which was that I may go so I slinked into my room.
I was in a haze whenever I was in her presence. I was clearly her slave this week and couldn’t even think straight due to the humiliation and numbness I felt. Once I got back to my own domain, the PC in my room, I felt almost myself again but the awareness of what I had been through hit me and I cried again.
After a few minutes I decided that I wanted to know why this was happening to me and how I could have prevented it. Or better yet, how can I prevent this from happening in the future? It all started, of course, with her locking this damn chastity thing on me. But that hasn’t even had an effect on me this week. There have been some uncomfortable times but with all of the humiliation I have been through I’m not the least bit aroused. Hell, I can even still taste my wife’s feet despite brushing my teeth and gargling mouthwash a few times tonight.
So why was I letting my wife literally walk all over me like this? Forget for a moment why she is doing this. Why am I letting this happen?
Fear. It had to be fear. I had read those internet sites about the effect this had and I think that really messed with my mind. What if she really had changed and she would not unlock this thing Saturday night? Oh shit, I become really afraid at this moment. My heart is beating too fast.
Deep breaths in-nose out-mouth. She will unlock me Saturday night. This was the same wife whom I love more than life. She was acting very differently but there had to be a reason.
Hypothetically, what if she didn’t unlock me Saturday night? Let’s further assume that the reason she wouldn’t unlock me is something which I would not agree with. What the hell reason would I agree with? Maybe, “Honey you need to be locked up and humiliated for an additional week because you have been taken over by an alien and that was the only way to free you.” It would take something that far out there for me to agree. So in my hypothetical she doesn’t agree to unlock me and comes up with some half-brained reason or no reason at all. What would I do?
I breathed deep again and came up with the answer. I didn’t think I had a choice. I couldn’t live any longer like this, I had no choice. I would beat it out of her.
That hurts me just to type it, to think it. Could I really do that? Yes, I think I could.
That was just a hypothetical. It won’t go down like that. She has to know that even I, with normally no hostile bone in my body, have a limit. Plus I trust her not to try to do that to me anyway.
I wish I could stop my racing mind but I have one more hypothetical. What if she leaves me forever and takes the key with her? That’s even more ridiculous than the other hypothetical but I suppose I would have to try to find some expert at getting this thing off me. Probably a key-maker would be able to do it or I’m sure there are people who know how to break into locks. It would be costly but worth it and maybe I could get the police to help. Ok, ridiculous hypotheticals have been addressed. I was ready for Saturday night.
Tonight, just two more nights before Saturday night, we went to bed and I hadn’t even thought about masturbating. I was in too much emotional crisis. Funny to think that I was going through all of this because of a device which wasn’t making much of any difference anyway. Real funny.
My wife had me rub her feet again as she was falling asleep except that I had to do it with my lips. It wasn’t nearly as bad as licking her feet and I almost expected it anyway.
Just one more day now, or really two more days and one more night. As soon as I woke up I decided that I would be completely her slave today and tomorrow. It was going to be the case anyway and I figured if I planned for it I would be in less emotional turmoil. I needed a calm day before our big night tomorrow night.
I almost couldn’t believe I would say this but I said it anyway several minutes before the alarm went off when I noticed that my wife was awake. “Sweetie, would you like me to lick your feet and suck your toes?” She showers each night before bed so I figured now was the time for this rather than late afternoon.
She replied “Why darling, yes, that would be great.”
I knelt down at the foot of the bed to be at her feet. Now that her feet were clean it wasn’t so bad at all, it was like licking her hand or her cheek. As I started licking the soles of her feet, though, I realized that it wasn’t like a hand or cheek and I became very humiliated. With sort of a demented sense of pride, though, I was able to finish licking her feet and sucking all 10 of her toes individually when the alarm went off and we both got up to prepare for work.
As I had been all week, I was distracted at work but this time it wasn’t as much with emotional discomfort, it was due to looking forward to tomorrow night. I really needed release, emotionally more than physically.
When I got home after I groveled at her bare feet for several minutes, she told me to lick her somewhat dirty feet and suck her toes. I expected this and was able to not cause a big emotional scene this time, although I did let a few tears fall down my cheeks as I tasted the dirt from her feet.
After I washed the dishes from dinner I rubbed her feet as we watched news talk and then after I had massaged her shoulders while she read her e-mails for a half hour she had me give her a full body massage for another hour.
This wasn’t bad at all. I enjoyed touching her body which was laid out in front of me on our bed. She was in heaven all night with all of the caressing but I wasn’t having a bad time either. Except that once I started getting aroused from her body the chastity device made me feel very uncomfortable and I had to focus on unpleasant thoughts to get it down.
My wife’s body would not let me think unpleasant thoughts. I wanted to have sex with her right now!
I said “Sweetie, this is starting to hurt.”
She said “Your hands?”
I replied “No, my penis is hurting because your body is turning me on so much.”
She leaned up on her elbow to see me better. She laughed when she saw my penis trying to expand but it was trapped and I was squirming in discomfort.
She then said “Honey, that’s sort of the point” and lowered her head again. “Keep rubbing.”
I resumed the massage but didn’t like that she had no sympathy for me. At least her lack of compassion helped get my penis back to a small size.
Maybe she was going to learn a lesson, that she could just be ultra-mean to me and that would stop all my desire to have sex with her or even to masturbate. I was kidding myself, though, if this device weren’t on me I would go masturbate in a second and probably orgasm very quickly. I stopped myself from thinking about this, just 24 more hours to go!
I think she finally had enough of my touching her. After an hour of massaging she got up, hugged me wordlessly, and went back to her PC. I won! I finally gave her so much loving attention that she got tired of it. Well, at least I still had a little bit of my sense of fun.
I played a video game for an hour and then took a break from it. I missed having my masturbation time. I don’t think it is bad or unnatural to masturbate, it’s fun and why should I not want to have fun? Sex with my wife was even more fun and I would rather have that but she didn’t want that. Why was she denying me this? I figured I would find out tomorrow night or even if she didn’t tell me why, I would be free one way or the other. I had some dread about tomorrow night because we could end up ultimately in divorce or both of us at least in emotional pain but it could be okay without any drama; either way I will be free as I think I’ve covered the possibilities and hypotheticals.
That night I licked her feet until she slept. I expected no less.
Saturday was finally here. I am typing this initial paragraph just before our meeting time in the bedroom. My wife told me to meet her at 9:00pm and in the meantime she is reading her e-mails. If I wasn’t so excited about tonight I would be dwelling on what an awful day this was having to lick her feet several different times, doing all of the laundry and vacuuming, making lunch and dinner and cleaning up afterwards, and so on but my time was at hand!
I am typing this after our meeting. My wife held the key in her hand as she joined me in the bedroom. She said “Have you been a good boy this week?” and I nodded and said “Yes!” I felt like a dog begging for scraps but it was worth it.
She said “You really have been a good boy, better than I could have hoped.” Unexpectedly, she put her arm over her eyes and started to cry and even sob a bit.
I asked “What’s wrong, sweetie?” She didn’t answer through the tears so I hugged her to me and she cried into my chest. I tried to calm her down by saying “Sweetie, it’s okay, it’s going to be okay” and patting her back.
She stopped crying and pulled back to talk with me as we sat on the bed together.
She said “Honey, I have been a very bad girl.” This was a strange thing to say but she didn’t mean it as a come-on. She continued “I was given advice and it turned out to be the worst thing I could ever do. Will you please ever forgive me?”
She still had tears in her eyes but I was not ready to forgive yet, after all I had been through. I hugged her to me and said “Why don’t you tell me about it from the beginning?” and when I added “My love” she hugged me harder.
She said “It started when I was looking at a fashion web site and someone on the forum mentioned a male chastity device. I had no idea what that was so I looked it up and read a lot about it. I hadn’t thought of using one on you but it was amazing to me the effect this could have. I wondered what it would be like if the one you loved would take away your greatest pleasure. It didn’t make sense why they would do this if they loved you but I saw that plenty of couples were using chastity devices to enhance their relationships. I was fascinated by this because it made no sense to me.”
She was ready to tell me everything. I was already feeling compassion for her realizing that she hurt me so much but I needed to hear her full explanation.
She continued “So I read testimonials of couples who had used these devices and how it enhanced their relationship. In a large majority of the cases it made the man much more attentive and loving and increased the pleasure during lovemaking. There was usually a period of adjustment but it was worth it in a large majority of cases. Then I began participating in a group chat with different women who each used chastity devices on their men who had wanted it. They convinced me … no, that is not right to blame them, they gave me advice and I accepted it. We chatted for hours and hours over several days of what effect it would have on you. They told me that they would have never suggested anything non-consensual but this was a very special case. They only knew you by my description but the one thing they really grasped onto was that you truly love to make me happy.”
I said “I do love to make you happy.”
She went on. “They … I agreed after a lot of hesitation that it could be good for our marriage and make both of us even happier than we are. I knew that it wouldn’t be a sure thing and it would be risky but it could be worth it. I guess I should tell you why this was done without discussing it with you first.”
I remained silent on this. I didn’t want to cause her more pain with an enthusiastic Well yeah duhh!
She said “We agreed that you would probably never let this be done to you willingly” and she waited for me to respond but I was not ready to yet.
I said “Please go on.”
She continued “Everything I did to you was under their guidance. I take full responsibility, I am not saying that these women were at fault because they weren’t. It is 100% my fault. Every night I chatted with them about the effect it seemed to have on you. We knew that the first night would be just a negative reaction and probably the first day afterwards. But we didn’t expect what would happen the rest of the week.” She paused, maybe because this was very tough for her or maybe she was hoping I would interrupt and say it’s okay, but I wasn’t ready for that at all yet.
I said “What happened which was unexpected?”
She said “We expected you to be more … sex-starved, I guess. I know that you get excited at times generally during the week so I figured this would just increase that because ‘we always want what we cannot have’ but that wasn’t happening with you. Part of the magic of the device is that it provides constant humiliation but that is usually overcome by men in the device due to being sex-starved and the humiliation actually increases the desires, if that makes any sense. It doesn’t make sense to me but it’s a pretty constant theme in much of what I have read although different men have different feelings about it.
“Anyway, the other ladies agreed to advise me to find other ways to humiliate you without causing you any real pain such as whipping and without anything in public. You are the emotionally strongest person I know and it was surprising for me to see you so affected by all of this. It seemed clear that you were feeling sex-starved because what else would explain your wild emotional reactions? You weren’t bursting through the cage or anything but you had all this pent up emotion needing release and I figured you were feeling very sex-starved. On Thursday night I almost ended this early to take you right then and there but I was following experienced advice and stopped myself.”
She abruptly ended her story, as if she had run out of steam, by saying “And that’s it. So here we are now.”
I was confused. Something didn’t fit but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I followed the logic of the story from beginning to end, even though there was some ridiculous advice from those other women and I had doubts about listening to strangers anyway about something so important, but there was something important missing. I know what it was, it’s obvious.
I said “Then why are you so upset now?”
She replied “Because you are not sex-starved. I have seen it in your face earlier tonight and now. You didn’t react like other men, you’re always different, I should have realized that.” She paused but forced herself to say it. “You hate me.”
Ok. This is where we go from pain to healing. Both of us are in a lot of pain and I feared she would feel awful about hurting me but we can and will recover from this, quickly I think.
I said “Sweetie, I do not hate you. I love you. I will always love you.”
She said “You sound so sure.”
She was manipulating me, fishing, something she almost never does, but she needed me to assure her and that was no problem for me.
I said “Sweetie, I am 100% sure that I love you now and will always love you.”
My wife quietly hugged me and it was great to feel her warmth again. I was glad that she did not cry although I’m not sure how she avoided it. She cries watching some TV shows but I guess this time the relief was too close to home for her.
I still had a 0.0001% doubt in my mind about all of this so I steered the conversation, none-too-gently, in another direction when I said “Would you mind unlocking this?”
To my relief she said “I would love to” and inserted the key in the lock. She unlocked it and I felt as though it had been pressing against my lungs as I was now able to breathe again. We removed the awful device and set it aside.
I said “Would you mind if I asked you a few questions about all of this?”
She replied “Honey, I owe you so much more than answers, I will do anything to make it up to you. I realize that it may take a long time for you to forgive me and I will work hard to make it up to you.”
She was going to get my forgiveness tonight but I was not quite ready, I still had some questions.
I said “So let me understand this. My wife listens to some people she never met before about a device which seems very dangerous just reading about it. She locks me into this thing without even talking with me about it. She assumes that I would get aroused, by what, domination? And she assumes that when it finally does get removed I would be all happy and attentive like a puppy?
“Did I understand that correctly?”
She smiled. I think she would have been disappointed if I just let it all pass without expressing my own feelings. She considered for a moment and said “Yes, I think you have it all correct, not quite exactly but close enough.”
I said “Have you wanted more domination in our lives? I know that you would like to give me more pain before we have sex.”
She said “Honey, I don’t want to do anything which you wouldn’t want.”
I said “Fair enough. Would you be okay with me even if I didn’t want anything more than what we have?”
She said “Honey, yes yes yes and yes. You are a great husband and we are perfect for each other.”
I smiled and agreed “Yes we are. I have to admit that a part of me felt good at being able to provide you with added pleasure during the week, something which you would never feel comfortable asking me for. Would you mind if I gave you more massages and rubbed your feet some more?”
She said “You’re teasing me, right?”
I replied “Oh, no, but I could see where you would think that. How about if we stop talking and make love tonight?”
She timidly answered, “Well, yes if you still want to after all I’ve done to you this week.”
She needed one more thing from me. I gave it with all of my heart. “Sweetie, I completely 100% forgive you. You were trying to do what is best for both of us, even though you were misguided and frankly quite ridiculous, you had the best intentions and what I went through was not so bad that I won’t recover. I love you and I forgive you 100%.”
She tackled me with a hug and said “Thank you.”
We then had sex. Unlike other nights, she did not need to tie me up to warm herself up. She, too, had gone an extended time without sex and I guess that and the emotion of the night helped her orgasm even before I did.
As for myself, sex tonight was by far the best I ever had. Is this what sex is supposed to be like? Normally it is very enjoyable but I get almost as much enjoyment masturbating. But this was like a comet or an entire star had exploded within me and I was completely out of control for several seconds during my orgasm. It was like nothing I ever imagined.
Because of the strength of my orgasm, she had a second orgasm during mine and that had never happened to her before.
The afterglow was amazing. It felt as though we were floating a million miles above the earth. I hugged my wife with all of the little strength I had left and I felt that our bodies should never part.
After a while, maybe it was a minute or maybe it was a million years, she said “That was amazing.”
I said “Yes, I agree” and nuzzled even close to her.
Later, after we had cleaned ourselves off we sat on the bed and talked. We usually didn’t talk much at all after sex but I wanted to understand what happened and so did she.
I said “Do you want to know something? That was by far the best experience I’ve ever had in my life and if I had the entire week to do all over again, I would.”
She said “Let’s not go that far. I think we can have amazing sex without you going through all that anguish!”
I said “Well, one thing which is going to change is that, and I haven’t told you this before but I’m guessing now that you already know, I won’t be masturbating any more during the week, or at least not this week. I think all that waiting put me at the maximum.”
She said “It’s okay honey, I don’t mind if you touch yourself during the week as long as you are ready for me on Saturday night.”
I said “I’m going to go without this week, see if that is what makes the difference.”
One of the things I love about our marriage is that we have always been able to rebound from difficulties or disagreements. I’m sure that our strong love is the biggest factor in that but also we have been lucky not to have momentous disagreements or very bad situations. This one was probably the worst. But we let it go as if it had not happened. Sunday we went out to lunch like usual and when we returned she let me massage her neck and shoulders as she read her e-mail. She even rubbed my feet and watched TV when I played a video game and that felt amazing. I even stopped playing the game, who cares about that with my feet being rubbed!
The next week we were more loving to each other than we had ever been in our marriage. I think that the pain we went through last week, or really the pain I went through all week and the intense emotional pain she went through Saturday night, brought us together more. I did not regret having gone through what I did that week, I guess those internet women were right about the device being good for us but not how they expected.
We both looked forward to the next Saturday night and when it arrived we were like teenagers in our giddiness. She did not tie me up, though, and I think that had a negative effect. We had sex and I achieved an orgasm but it wasn’t like last week and I don’t think she had an orgasm at all.
The following week we tried to hold on to the magic of the previous week but it wasn’t quite the same. We still love each other to death but the magic was only somewhat there, not at the forefront. I did not get the same emotional satisfaction when rubbing her feet.
On Saturday night we agreed that she would tie me up again. I had a bit of a frightened flashback to when she locked the device on me but I was safe and she only lightly whipped me as usual. She untied me and we had sex. It was good sex and we both had an orgasm but it was not like that other Saturday night.
Not a couple to avoid talking about anything which is on our minds, we sat on the bed afterwards and talked about it.
She said “Honey, why do you think a couple of Saturday nights ago was so different?”
I replied “I don’t know. I’m not masturbating at all and because of that I think it feels better when I am inside of you but I don’t know why it’s not the same as that other Saturday night. Maybe it’s because we had so much emotion and then we sort of had make-up sex?”
She said “That doesn’t seem right, I remember even when you entered into me I felt fear that I would lose you and you would change your mind about forgiving me. You were different that night. I think you were … much bigger and more vigorous.”
I think most men might take that as an insult and mockingly ask if she would need him to take some sort of male enhancement to be satisfied but I felt good that she was comfortable in saying this trusting that it would not hurt me.
I said “Then maybe it was because I was in such an emotional state. I did feel bigger and much more vigorous, but I don’t know why that would be.”
Sunday night my wife said “Honey, do you mind if I keep chatting with the internet women? I promise I won’t do anything non-consensual.”
I said “Of course I don’t mind, feel free to chat as much as you want.”
She said “They have an opinion on what happened that Saturday night a couple of weeks ago.”
I said “I’ll bet they want me to wear that device again” and chuckled.
She said “Well, yes they do.”
I said “What a surprise!” knowing that she would not take this as mocking her, just mocking them.
My wife said “Their reasoning makes sense to me but I’ll drop it.”
After the following Saturday night of good but not amazing sex, I resumed the conversation and said “Why do those internet women think that wearing the chastity device would be good for me after all the pain it put me through?”
My wife said “Because you were humiliated and that made you ready for me by the end of the week. I can’t really repeat all of their reasoning, if you want you can join us online tomorrow and ask them yourself.”
I said “Let me think about it.”
I didn’t want to chat with the internet women. They might throw out some psychobabble or present some emotional arguments but the bottom line is that they are probably very biased in wanting men to be subject to a woman’s will. Their arguments would mean nothing towards swaying me to their side.
My own arguments were a different story, though. That Saturday night three weeks ago was by far the most amazing experience of my life. The week of buildup to that was also an amazing experience but amazingly horrible. It seemed reasonable to believe that the week of buildup led to the amazing Saturday night. Was there a way to have all the build up without all of that emotional pain?
I guess there was only one way to find out.
Sunday morning when I was spooning my wife in bed I said “Sweetie, would you like to put that chastity device on me again?”
She replied “Honey, are you feeling okay?”
I said “Yes, I’m not joking. For the good of our marriage I am willing to go through another week like that.” All noble-like.
She turned to face me. She said “I’m not willing to put you through another week of hell like that.”
I said “It won’t be hell because I know that I will be safe. It will be consensual and I will know that you will love me when it is over.”
She said quietly “Did you doubt that during the week?” I had hit a sore spot without meaning to.
I said “Sweetie, it’s okay now, I would go through that same hell week again, it’s not a problem. But this time it won’t be hell, it will be heaven.”
She said “How do you know it will be?”
I said “Because if it is hell, then you will acknowledge the safe word.”
She said sheepishly “I’m sorry about that, too, I forgot that I violated your trust in so many ways.”
I said “Sweetie, it was for a good intention and it worked out great so no regrets, okay?”
She said “Okay. Fair enough. Thank you.”
I said “So we are agreed that I will wear the device again this week?”
She said “Yes.”
I said “And we will react appropriately if the safe word is used.”
She said “Yes.”
I said “And you will humiliate me any way you see fit all week?”
She paused and said “Are you sure you want that?”
I said “Yes as much humiliation as you can please!” and she said “Yes!”
With the safe word agreed upon, I felt that I could handle just about anything.
I lay back on the bed and allowed my wife to lock me into the chastity device. It was a chilling experience but I felt safe in my wife’s love.
For the rest of the day Sunday I was my wife’s slave. She had me drop down on the floor and kiss her feet probably a dozen times, I don’t know why she gets such a kick out of that but if it pleases her then it pleases me, plus of course I had to lick her feet a few times. Thankfully, she didn’t allow her feet to get dirty, or not much.
I didn’t enjoy being her foot slave all day and at times I really felt lower than dirt but I felt more confident now that this humiliation led to the high I felt that Saturday night a few weeks ago. I didn’t think that I could go through this sort of week often but I had to go through it again to at least find out. And the big benefit is that it was obvious that my wife enjoyed the hell out of seeing my humiliation and I was glad to provide her that thrill.
I enjoyed rubbing my wife and giving her massages. I didn’t need any coercion for that. I had some time for playing video games between servitude sessions so I was good.
Monday after work was much of the same. On Tuesday after I had kissed her bare feet hello a dozen times each, my wife told me that she had a surprise for me. She said it as if she had a treat for a little kid but I knew that it meant more humiliation for me.
She revealed that she had purchased a pair of men’s used tennis shoes and presented them to me as if they were a precious present. I was confused to say the least.
I said “Sweetie, I already have enough tennis shoes and these don’t even look like they fit.”
She said “You aren’t going to be wearing them, silly” and she waited as if I was supposed to understand what she meant. She said “Think about it, boy.”
I said “I’m sorry, I don’t get it.”
She said “You idiot. You’re going to be kissing them! Now put them on the floor as if a man is standing in front of you. Good. Now kiss his shoes!”
This was ridiculous, it wasn’t humiliating to kiss a pair of tennis shoes. It felt silly but I played along. She said “You’re going to sleep with his shoes pressed against your face.”
Well, I guess that would be humiliating but not much. Did those internet women give my wife this idea?
Anyway, the rest of the week was much of the same. My wife focused on giving me some sort of humiliation as much as she could. On Wednesday night she commanded me to type “I am a slave” in a spreadsheet 500 times without any copy-paste so I did that for about a half hour. It felt like being in school having to write something over and over on the chalkboard. It was silly but Saturday night was not far away.
The humiliation for the week wasn’t so bad. I didn’t have emotional swings like last time, thankfully, but it was emotional pain at times to feel so low and not worth anything. I just hoped this worked to give us a great time on Saturday night. At least it gave my wife a great time all week so that was something. Sleeping with men’s used tennis shoes in my face was weird but it wasn’t bad.
Friday when I got home from work I was surprised to see a young man sitting on the living room couch as my wife greeted me at the door. He got up to watch as my wife told me to get down on the floor and kiss her bare feet.
I said “Sweetie, would you like to introduce me to your friend?”
She replied “Honey, I told you to get down and kiss my feet. Now.”
I could only hope that she had already filled in her friend on what was going on so it wouldn’t be a shock to him. I got down on the floor and kissed my wife’s feet over and over until she told me to get up. I saw the young man grinning as if he wanted to laugh in my face which was turning red with embarrassment.
Without introducing us, my wife told me to change out of my work clothes and she followed me into the bedroom. She said “You’re going to do something very special for me tonight.”
I said “I haven’t already?”
She said “No, that was nothing. You’re going to love this.” She said love in a mocking way, knowing full well that I wouldn’t love any bit of it. “You’re going to beg him to allow you to kiss his bare feet.”
I blurted “What?!” I managed to keep my voice down and said “No way. I’m not kissing his feet or anyone else’s feet, just yours!”
She said “I’m not done yet. After you have kissed his feet over and over I’m going to command you to lick his feet.”
I was shocked. I took a couple of breaths to calm myself and remembered that we had our safe word. I didn’t use it now, though, I didn’t need it.
I looked right at my wife and said “I’m not going to do it.”
To my surprise she said “Okay, no problem. In that case you are going to beg to kiss my feet and you will give the soles of my feet a good rubbing with your lips until I tell you to stop.”
I said “Okay, I will do that.”
When I had finished changing into my usual comfortable clothes it was difficult to humiliate myself in front of someone but I managed to beg my wife to let me kiss her feet and the young man watched closely as I rubbed my lips on her soles over and over.
The young man and I never spoke to each other. I felt too humiliated to talk anyway. My wife thanked him for coming over and he left.
The rest of that Friday night was less humiliating than the previous nights that week. She let me massage her body and that made me uncomfortable in the chastity device but there wasn’t any more foot humiliation other than sleeping with a man’s used tennis shoes against my face. I think my wife likes to push my humiliation only so far and I am thankful for that.
For Saturday I was expecting a large dose of humiliation but there wasn’t much at all. I gave a few massages and rubbed her feet but my mouth was thankfully able to avoid her feet altogether. I had kind of wanted it the other way around, I figured that if Saturday was the worst day it would lead to a stronger Saturday night but I wasn’t the one to decide that sort of thing.
Saturday night was here and I was ready. As she entered the bedroom my wife seemed very ready too, she seemed like the cat who had caught the canary. Well, I would sing for her tonight!
She asked me “Have you been a good boy this week?” and I said “Yes!”
She said “Were you being a good boy last night?”
I hesitated and remembered groveling at her feet in front of that man and said “Yes!”
She said “Really?” and waited for me to remember. I did remember, she had wanted me to do something out of the question and I said no. Is that what she was referring to here?
I said “I think so.”
She said “You were a very bad boy last night. Do you know what happens to bad boys?” I think this was leading to a session of bondage with some whipping and that was fine with me.
I responded “I’m afraid to find out, what happens to bad boys like me?”
She replied with a great sense of happiness in her voice “They have to stay in their cages for another week!”
I stared at her, stunned to silence. It took me a few seconds to realize that she was playing with me. I gave a nervous laugh while she just smiled and looked at my reaction. I said “What can I do to make it up to you?”
She said “Don’t worry, in the next week you will be making it up to me” while she continued to smile at me.
I sputtered “Do … do you want to tie me up or something? How about whipping me harder than you usually whip me?” She gave no reaction, she was clearly enjoying my discomfort. I was okay with that, I was thinking that this would increase the experience for tonight once we had sex so I played along.
I got on my knees and begged “Please, please take this off me and let’s have sex. Please, I will do anything you say, please just take this off me” and I kissed her feet over and over with the passion of someone desperate, saying “please” every now and then between kisses.
After a minute or so she said “Get up and sit on the bed next to me.” She was still smiling, clearly enjoying this. She looked me in the eyes and said “Listen to me so that you can understand. I promise you with all of my heart that I am not going to take that device off you until next Saturday night.” She paused to let that sink in. She continued “… unless you say the safe word. I don’t want you to say the safe word, that’s not my point, I just want you to know that I’m not joking or playing when I say that you were a bad boy and your punishment is to stay locked up.”
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what I felt at that moment other than sexual frustration. I said “Do you not enjoy having sex with me?”
She replied “I love having sex with you. It is a sacrifice for me, too, but the experience will be better for both of us if you behave like a good boy and do as you’re told.”
I asked “Are you asking me to trust you on that again?”
She said “No, not at all, I’m not asking you to do anything. If you’re uncomfortable then you have a way out but otherwise, you are my prisoner and will do what I say when I say.
“Is that clear, slave?”
My wife appeared to be in heaven, as if she was fulfilling her greatest fantasy. This was one factor in my response. Another factor was that I agreed with her that going all the way with this slave stuff would probably make for a better experience for both of us once we did have sex. A third factor is that if I did use the safe word, then I would probably never experience that same feeling as 4 weeks ago. I absolutely had to try to re-create that feeling. In a way, I felt enslaved by that feeling but it was okay because my wife was right here with me and I know she loves me as I love her. Was she doing this for us or selfishly for herself? It didn’t matter.
I got down on my knees in front of my wife and said “Yes, it is clear.”
She said “You will address me as Master from now on when we are at home. Is that clear?”
I cast my eyes downward and replied “Yes, Master.”
My Master abruptly left the room, leaving me kneeling like a fool and feeling very low.
I felt used. I know that my wife loves me and cares for my well-being but it seemed like she was caring only for her own pleasure in tormenting me. She knew I was in a difficult situation feeling strongly that I wanted to re-create 4 weeks ago and she took advantage of it.
As I stayed kneeling on the floor, though, I got in touch with my feelings more deeply on this. All week I had been doing humiliating things but they were all very consensual. I would never lick her toes unless coerced by our situation but it seemed safe to do something like that, it was like play humiliation. It was like getting whipped without any pain.
As I thought about this I realized that if we were to have sex tonight, it would not re-create the feeling from a month ago. I was sure now that my wife could see this, I was not in any sort of emotionally unusual state so it wouldn’t be much different from our normal Saturday nights.
So she wanted to take me past what I felt are my limits to break down my emotions.
Strangely, I liked this idea. I already decided a bit earlier tonight that I would do anything to re-create that experience of a month ago. How far would I go? How far would she make me go? Would I be willing to stop her from destroying my ego altogether if it meant not re-creating that experience? I guess I would just have to play it by ear. Ultimately, despite what had happened a month ago, I trusted her with my well-being. She would not lead me down a path which led to any permanent pain, emotional or otherwise.
I wanted to let her know that I agreed with her decision so I found her in her room and started rubbing her neck and shoulders. I said “Master, thank you for putting me in my place.”
I could feel the tension in her neck ease when I said that, she said “You are welcome, slave.”
That week I was completely her slave when I was not at work. She reveled in not only humiliating me but also tying me up while she watched TV or requiring my wrists to be shackled together which made playing video games impossible. It was as if I had no life at all except to be at her whim. I hated it but knew that I had to go through with it, I was not only a slave to her but I was a slave to the anticipation of re-creating that experience from a month ago.
Early in the week, despite my total servitude, the cage was getting uncomfortable and I felt like I needed release. I wanted to beg my Master for a temporary reprieve but I knew that it would be just wasted effort. It helped me to think that release now would probably cancel out the experience on Saturday night but it was still uncomfortable. My wife accentuated the problem by requiring me to watch a risqué show on TV as I rubbed her feet. She enjoyed seeing me squirm in discomfort and anguish so we watched a few shows which she knew would accentuate the issue for me.
By Wednesday night I was starting to go crazy with lust. My wife found that sex toy channel and required me to watch it with her. I begged her to change the channel but she just laughed at me. It was really hurting me to be constricted in the cage so I begged in earnest, trying everything I could with puppy-dog eyes, wringing my hands, telling her how much pain I was in, and promising to be her slave forever but she didn’t give in. I’m sure she enjoyed my pitiful whining.
Later that night she said “There is something we can do instead of watch TV” and I eagerly anticipated it, no matter how humiliating it would be. “I can tie you down and whip your back. Would you like that?”
I said “Yes, Master, please tie me down and whip me.”
She said “I’m not going to whip you just until it starts to hurt. I want to whip you way beyond that.”
I was scared, I couldn’t take much pain. I didn’t want her to hurt me but I was already being hurt by this damn cage. If we kept on watching TV I didn’t know how much more discomfort I could take, I was worried that I would say the safe word and I really didn’t want to do that as it would ruin everything I had gone through already. On the other hand, if she tied me down and whipped me I would probably have to safe word anyway. It seemed like I was screwed either way. I decided on a direct approach.
I said “Master, I’m worried that either way I will be forced to safe word, and I don’t want to do that.”
She said with confidence “You won’t safe word. I know you want Saturday night to be special, as do I, and I know that you want to be a good slave to me. You won’t safe word, believe me. And I’ll be gentle.” She batted her eyes at me, essentially telling me that she wouldn’t really be gentle.
I said “Let me think a moment, okay Master?”
After another minute of watching those two beautiful woman talk about sex toys I had enough. I couldn’t take any more discomfort so I said “Master, would you please tie me down and whip me?”
My wife tied me spread-eagled and face down on the bed. It was a position I was very used to but I knew that it would be painful this time and would not end with sex. She laid pillows on the bed for me to lie upon with no pillow under my groin to allow room for the chastity device. It was a very considerate gesture making me less uncomfortable at having to lie on top of the device.
She began to whip me with the usual cat-o-nine-tails and I pressed my face into a pillow knowing that at some point soon the whipping would become painful. It didn’t take long. The blows between my shoulder blades were stinging and she kept hitting the same spot making the stinging turn into a burning. I was groaning in pain and my body jerked with each blow as the pain of each blow was almost too much for me to take. After I don’t know how many blows the pain even between blows was almost too much to take and at the next blows I lost it, screaming uncontrollably into the pillow and flailing my body against the restraints. I had no thoughts, just agony from being whipped.
I don’t remember how long the agony lasted but at some point I was just crying into the pillow and there were no more blows. I cried like a baby and had to turn my head to the side a bit to be able to catch up on all of the breathing I had been missing with my face buried in the pillow. I was sobbing while crying.
I felt a hand brushing my hair gently and it helped calm me. After a minute or two more of this my wife unshackled my wrists and ankles and helped me sit up. She then hugged me hard to her and cradled me in her arms, giving soft calming comments as I continued to cry.
I felt like I had been reduced to nothing. I was nothing but a baby. I stopped crying but I felt very depressed, barely able to hold my own head up.
My wife held my shoulders while she pulled away from cradling me. She tried to look me in the eyes but I did not feel worthy and just kept my head down. She said “Honey, you did it! You made it through without saying the safe word. I am very proud of my good boy!”
She shook my shoulders a little bit to try to get me to share her mood and I realized that I had accomplished something. Actually, I had accomplished something I felt I could never do, I withstood horrible agony without breaking. I felt like I did break but really I did not break because I did not use the safe word. In truth, I never even thought about the safe word, I was too busy dreading the pain that the safe word never even entered my mind.
More importantly than being able to withstand the pain, or at least seeming to withstand it, is that we were still on track for a great Saturday night. I needed that. If that were lost after all the emotional and physical pain I had been through, I just couldn’t bear it.
I responded to her mood by picking up my own mood a bit. To her declaration of pride in me I said “Thank you, Master.” She kissed me full on the mouth and it was a great kiss.
My wife is usually not very passionate with me during the week but I realized now that it seemed as though she was going through a sort of transformation. She was clearly passionate about humiliating me but I also felt that she was becoming more passionate towards me in general compared to before all of this started over a month ago.
Maybe it was my imagination but I also felt that she would not feel any passion about humiliating others. In my mind she had pinned the blue ribbon of her passion on me and that made me feel special. It was a mixed blessing because I did not enjoy humiliation but I did enjoy that she was becoming more passionate with me.
After our wonderful kiss my wife went into her bathroom while I went to the mirror to see the damage to my still stinging back. I did not feel any blood trickling down but I expected welts and maybe some small cuts. But I did not see any of that, just red skin. I reached my hand behind my back to see if I could feel anything and there was not even a hint of a welt. That was scary. My wife filled me with agony and I screamed uncontrollably but it could have been much worse. It was still only Wednesday, the next couple of days could be agonizing hell if my Master wanted it to be.
For the remaining hour or so before bed, my wife let me play a video game without any conditions, presumably as a reward for being a good boy. It felt wonderful to be a free man again, if only for an hour and even if my manhood was under her lock and key. At that thought, I didn’t feel free any more but at least I was spared for an hour of having my slavery rubbed in my face and I was very grateful for that. As we went to bed I made a point of thanking my Master.
After licking my wife’s bare feet for 10 minutes to help her sleep, I slept well.
Thursday was worse. The morning was great, other than the chastity device I was treated almost like a human being again, only having to lick my Master’s bare feet for a few minutes before work.
When I got home from work, though, that same young man from before was home to watch me shower my wife’s feet with kisses. I knew why he was here, I would have to do what I dreaded the most. I couldn’t even think about it without shuddering in disgust.
My wife didn’t even say anything about it but as I went into the bedroom to change out of my work clothes, I knew my role. I gathered my courage for a minute before I stepped back into the living room. I consoled myself with the hope that after the upcoming ordeal I would be allowed to spend the rest of the night playing video games as a reward.
When I stepped back in the living room I almost felt as though I was in a daze. I felt like I was someone else, like a puppeteer was moving my legs and arms and I had no control over anything. I was a hand-dummy and someone had their hand in me moving my mouth and saying the words I dreaded so much: “Sir, may I please kiss your bare feet?”
There had been no introduction or any words before that. He laughed at me. I felt like collapsing into a coma but the puppeteer held my strings aloft and I had no will of my own.
The young man said “Are you sure? Your wife had me jog for 15 minutes to get here.”
I didn’t want to think of what that was implying, the hand-dummy-puppeteer caused my mouth to say “Yes, please let me kiss your feet, please sir please.”
The young man laughed at me again for several more seconds and then said “Yes, you may kiss my feet.” He sat down on the couch and removed his shoes and shocks. The puppeteer manipulated the strings so that I was kneeling before him.
And then I somewhat broke out of my stupor.
I was not hypnotized or being held by strings. I had willingly begged this man to allow me to kiss his bare feet and was about to completely humiliate myself in front of him and in front of my wife. I felt blood rush to my head and was filled with humiliation. Even as I thought to myself that life would never be the same after this ordeal I felt compelled to go through with it because I needed Saturday night to be special. I felt destined to kiss this man’s feet at the behest of my Master.
I pressed my lips to the top of his bare foot and was further disgusted to feel the sweat of his feet from jogging. I managed to kiss his other sweaty foot and was thankful that the ordeal was over. It probably lasted only several seconds but it felt like I had been at his feet all night groveling.
I leaned back and started to get up when my wife said “Aren’t you forgetting something?” I went back on my knees and looked at her to see what she meant.
To the young man she said “Please put one foot on your knee so you can watch him close up.”
To me she commanded “Lick his foot until I tell you to stop.”
Oh no. I was in shock or else I would have cried. I looked pleadingly at my wife. I put every ounce of sincerity in my look as I silently begged her not to make me do this. She simply smiled back at me knowing that she was in complete control.
I think I simply broke. When a few weeks ago she had forced me to lick the dirt from her it took all of my will to push my tongue forward to comply. This time I had no resistance at all. There was no more me. I was only a slave.
I quickly licked the sole of the young man’s bare foot from the heel to the toes and back again, over and over, tasting the sweat from his foot with every lick. Both the young man and my Master laughed at me as I licked his foot like it was an ice cream bar. She said “Don’t forget the toes” so I wrapped my mouth around a few of his toes at a time and licked between each toe, making sure to lick all of the sweat off. He swapped feet and allowed me to thoroughly lick the sweat off his other foot and in between each toe.
My wife ended my ordeal at this point by telling me to crawl into our bed and wait for her. I crawled as quickly as I could to the bedroom and I buried my face in my pillow. I cried and shut out the rest of the world.
Later, I felt my wife’s hand brushing the back of my head. I didn’t remember stopping crying and maybe I had dozed off or passed out for a few minutes. She kept brushing my hair with her hand and it felt good to feel a tiny bit human again. I became aware that I wasn’t getting my oxygen in my new familiar place of burying my face in a pillow so I turned about to breathe better.
My wife then said “Honey, you were a very good boy tonight. You have made your Master very proud of you.”
This made me feel good and for a moment I felt as though my ordeal were worth it. My Master was pleased, I had accomplished my dream. But then I realized how pathetic this was, fulfilling a dream by licking a man’s bare feet. Was I being brainwashed? I think so.
At least it was over. The humiliation would maybe never be over but I was glad that it pleased my wife. After all, that was the goal. Or, rather, the goal was for an amazing Saturday night.
Was I really going through all of this just for several minutes of pleasure? Yes, and it was not surprising to me. Even though it was almost one month ago, that experience owned me completely and I would do anything to experience it again. But I only needed it one more time, to tell me that it was real and to burn itself into my memory. After a second time I would no longer be anyone’s slave. I was sure of that. And in a way it was a boost to my sense of dedication that I was able to get through tonight’s ordeal.
With my self-respect at least a bit restored I sat up and faced my wife. To react to her comment of being proud of me I said with sincerity “Thank you, Master. I appreciate that. I am proud of myself.” We hugged.
I liked all of this hugging. I have always enjoyed hugging my wife and she has always enjoyed it, too. What happened the past few years that we didn’t hug as often or for nearly as long as we used to? After this week I hoped to change that.
After our hug my wife said “I love you” and I replied “I love you, Master”, I was determined not to leave that last word out to risk any sort of mistake.
Later, after I had washed the dishes from dinner, the almost unthinkable happened, my wife told me that I was allowed to play video games for the rest of the night. 4 hours of video games, after so many days of humiliation and watching awful TV it felt like almost being a free man again, other than the omnipresent chastity cage weighing down my soul, and I looked forward to it. My wife could have spent the rest of the night rubbing humiliation in my face as she had other nights but she was merciful tonight and I was very grateful for that. I told her how grateful I was and she was glad.
4 hours of video games is very commonplace for me, I take small breaks to read e-mail or briefly look at news or sports web sites, but I never get tired of playing and sometimes play all weekend. Games are very advanced nowadays, not only with advanced graphics but very professionally made so that the sense of immersion is great. Watching TV as I have over the past several days has felt so empty because there was no immersion for me without being interactive so I was very happy to be back in my element tonight. Plus, I had a lot to escape from, playing a very immersive game would help me forget what happened just a couple of hours ago.
It did help. I don’t know how I could go from absolute emotional crisis to forgetting about it entirely for the moment but I felt healed.
I took a small break after about an hour. I then looked at the start game icon on the screen but something was stopping me from double-clicking on it again to resume playing. I paused for a moment. Did I want to play the video game some more? Maybe I wanted to play a different game so I double-clicked on my “games” folder and browsed the icons of a few good games I still hadn’t finished. Nothing was jumping out at me, though. What is wrong with me?
I double-clicked on my “old games” folder thinking that maybe I needed to play an old favorite but nothing appealed to me.
And then it hit me. My wife appeals to me. I want to be with my wife now.
What did I want to do with my wife? She just seemed to want to be mean to me and then console me afterward. I didn’t want that.
I think, though, if I go in and be a good boy she will not be mean to me. I think she had her fill of meanness with the ordeal she put me through earlier tonight.
So I carefully entered her room and began massaging her neck and shoulders. She was enjoying this as always and I knew that I had done the right thing. After 15 minutes of this I offered to massage her entire body and she agreed. Just as a month ago, she enjoyed this a whole lot, too.
I enjoyed this a whole lot myself. It was not because I was being a good boy or even because I was trying to ensure a happy ending on Saturday night, she had already given me the night off from being her slave. As hokey as it may seem, I simply enjoyed giving my wife pleasure.
That does seem hokey and out of character for me. I wondered for the second time tonight if I was being brainwashed? Was it paranoid of me to think that those internet women were guiding my wife to brainwash me into being her completely willing slave thinking only of her pleasure?
Maybe it was being paranoid or maybe not but it didn’t matter. The truth was that I was feeling pleasure at giving my wife the pleasure of a long massage.
I was experiencing too much pleasure, unfortunately. The cage was hurting my growing penis so I stopped massaging for a moment.
I said “Master, I’m starting to feel pain from the chastity device.”
She said “You poor dear. That doesn’t seem good for either of us. Let’s stop and you can go back to playing video games.”
I reluctantly agreed.
I managed to pass the rest of the night playing video games but I missed giving my wife a massage.
I then had a realization which shocked me.
Most of what I had read about chastity devices led me to believe that the man craves even more of what he cannot have. And when I was first locked into my device, twice, I felt that I would miss masturbating. I knew I would.
But I didn’t. I thought back to just last month how pleasurable masturbation was but it didn’t have any appeal for me now, even though I had not had an orgasm for, how long had it been, I guess almost two weeks now? I wasn’t even counting the days as I thought I would.
Most other nights I had been in emotional anguish so it made sense for me not to be aroused. But tonight I felt good. Darn good. I had made it through what I thought would be the worst ordeal in my life, and made it through gaining more love and kindness from my wife. I was free to do just about whatever I wanted. And yet the pleasure of masturbation just wasn’t something I wanted to do. What I really wanted to do was to please my wife by massaging her body.
I was convinced that I was being brainwashed but I didn’t mind at all. It was frustrating that the chastity device kept me from doing what I most wanted to do which was to please my wife. I wonder if she saw the irony in that? Probably so.
I went back into her room and massaged the sides of her arms. I said “Master, have you told the internet women about what happened tonight?”
She stopped viewing the cooking web site she was looking at and turned her chair to talk with me. She said “What internet women?”
I said “The ones who gave you advice about me, about us.”
She said “Oh, those women, I haven’t chatted with them in weeks. Why?”
My wife has never once lied to me. That is one of the many things we love about each other, we never lie and we never give the other a reason to lie through unfair judgments.
I said “And here I was thinking that you were getting advice for the past couple of weeks.”
She said “No, you offered to be my slave, remember?”
I said “Yes, and I would do it again.”
Did I say that out loud? I don’t know if I meant it but I was caught up in the moment. Or something.
She asked “Are you forgetting something?”
I said “Please, Master, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be this stupid.” I didn’t know what she was referring to but I was genuinely afraid that I had ruined things by whatever thing I stupidly forgot and she was going to punish me. Then I realized that what I had forgotten was to address her as Master.
She said “It’s okay. I know I said this earlier but you made me very happy earlier when, well, I won’t hurt you by bringing it up again. I’m just very proud of you.”
I said “Master, it’s okay. To be honest, I am proud of myself for making it through such an ordeal. I … I hesitate to say this but I would do that again if you wanted. I mean –”
She interrupted me “Sweetie, that man is coming back tomorrow night and early Saturday night because of our agreement but I’m going to try not to make it so painful for you.”
I said “Thank you, Master.”
As perverse as this situation was, I could feel the love from my wife as much as I could remember. She was putting me through all of this because I had asked her to. And it will have a very happy ending on Saturday night.
Later, I gladly licked her feet for 15 minutes before I crawled into bed for another good night of sleep. I think she fell asleep after only 10 minutes of it.
Friday night was much less painful for me. I begged the young man to allow me the pleasure of kissing and licking his sweaty bare feet and he laughed in my face again but I got through it without the emotional turmoil. Or at least not much turmoil.
That night after washing the dishes I asked if we could watch the news talk shows on TV and I offered to rub her feet as an incentive. I didn’t mind the news talk shows compared to other shows and I wanted to be with my wife. Afterwards I wanted to massage her body but I knew better than to cause myself discomfort and instead offered to keep rubbing her feet if she wanted to watch some more TV. She agreed and momentarily teased me by flipping to that sex toy channel but she quickly switched to a different channel, to my heartfelt verbal gratitude.
We watched a two hour nature show on TV as I rubbed her feet for now three hours. Nature shows are boring to me but not painful like sitcoms or fakey-dramas. When the show was over my wife said “Honey, I need to go check my e-mails.”
I didn’t feel like playing video games so I browsed to a male chastity web site to compare what happens to other men with my own situation. There was no comparison from what I could remember from a month ago when I had looked up the topic. Most of the men I had read about had fantasies about male chastity and/or female control and due to being sex starved had been reduced to slaves, albeit willing slaves. Well, that was an over-generalization plus it was influenced by my own fear from a month ago. In reading now, the exact effects varied greatly, being sex-starved wasn’t necessarily the case for everyone but in a large majority of cases the men were more attentive to their wife’s or girlfriend’s needs.
Just like me.
But this device couldn’t have caused me to be more attentive to my wife. It didn’t have a big impact and I barely thought about it at all. It may as well have been a sore or something else preventing me from having sex.
I then realized the difference, though. My wife held the key. And she held onto it tightly, she did not once offer to unlock me. She enjoyed holding the key. Even though I wasn’t sex-starved, or not much anyway, she controlled me through the device. I was not convinced of this but I felt as though if I analyzed everything which had happened, it would probably be clear that this device had changed my existence for the past month even without my thinking about the device much.
Would I be changed beyond this Saturday night? I hope so. I liked the part of me which was more attentive to my wife. The internet women had not guided my wife towards brainwashing me, I was brainwashing myself with the guidance of the chastity device.
Finally it was Saturday. After all of the build-up I wanted a near guarantee of success so I wanted as much humiliation I could get. I was not disappointed.
Besides the usual attention I had to give to my wife’s feet in the morning, she wanted to watch TV. Funny how she used my dislike for TV against me. But we didn’t watch something boring at all. She found that sex toy channel and it had a show detailing the use of vibrators. There was no nudity on the show as the four beautiful and sexy-attired female hosts exhibited their different devices through the use of props but it was turning me on nevertheless.
I didn’t want to be turned on while in my cage so I tried to concentrate on rubbing my wife’s feet but I could not escape and after just a few minutes my groin was fighting hard against the cage and losing. Discomfort turned to pain as I just had nowhere to go. My eyes began to tear and I asked my wife to please change the channel but she was enjoying the hell out of my pain.
It had only been a few minutes so far, I didn’t think that I could take much more of this. The pain did take my mind off the beautiful women which gave me some relief but once the pain receded my attention resumed focus on the TV and I grew again which caused the pain to return.
It was torture. One minute of increasing pain followed by 10-15 seconds of slight relief. After several minutes of this I was fully crying from the pain and I whimpered “Please” several times but my wife just laughed at her pathetic slave.
The pain was becoming agony and a couple of times I almost screamed. Finally, my wife mercifully turned the channel to a Saturday morning kids show which quickly relieved my pain. I panted to try to catch my breath and my wife lifted her bare foot away from my rubbing hands and pushed her toes in my mouth. Even as I was recovering from the pain I had to suck her toes.
My wife allowed me a bathroom break and I was grateful to have a moment to calm my emotions. This was hell and I could not take this sort of treatment on any sort of regular basis, or probably any basis at all, but in a way I was glad that I went through the ordeal because I felt that it increased the chances of success tonight. Once again, I was a willing slave to Saturday night.
I expected my wife to be kinder to me for a while as she had done after previous extreme humiliation or pain but that was not the case today. She tied me down and placed a ball gag in my mouth for another whipping session almost identical to the last one, although seemingly a bit less intense. The gag was uncomfortable in my mouth and I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to safe word but I quickly became glad for it, I did not want to safe word and was glad to not even be tempted by it.
After the whipping, my wife had me flip me over so she could tie me spread-eagled to the bed on my back while still gagged. She then went into another room and did not return until several minutes later.
I had never been tied down on my back before. It felt very different from being tied face down. In both cases I felt very vulnerable to whatever pain my Master devised but lying on my back I felt more vulnerable for some reason. Maybe it was that I had to watch what she would do to me. Plus after the whipping session the tears on my face made me feel additional vulnerability.
When my wife returned she had a bunch of small things in her hands. She pulled the skin of the side of my stomach and clipped the skin inside a clothespin. It hurt a bit but not much. If a couple of months ago she had wanted to do this before sex, that would have been no problem.
She clipped a second clothespin to the skin next to the first and then a third so that a row of clothespins were sticking out from the side of my stomach. Each added clothespin hurt more than the previous one despite being identical to each other. It was still bearable, or mostly bearable, as long as they weren’t left on me for too long. Too long started to approach quickly as the pain was already getting to be too much while she was reaching into the pile of clothespins to retrieve more.
Fear gripped me as I realized that here was a new type of pain which was already almost as much as I could take, with a good probability of a significant increase, with no way for me to safe word. I wanted this to end and might have safe worded the situation immediately. But I couldn’t.
I watched as my wife repeated the line of clothespins on the left side of my stomach so that I had a total of six clothespins torturing me. I was groaning in pain through the gag and involuntarily fighting against the restraints but there was no relief.
My wife was giddy with enjoyment. She said “Honey, I am enjoying this sooooo much! Are you ready for me to remove these?”
I was not out of control yet and managed to nod my head vigorously as I pleaded with my crying eyes.
My wife threaded a long string through each of the three clothespins on my left side and said “Ready?” I was more than ready for the pain to end so I nodded yes some more.
She yanked hard on both ends of the string quickly pulling all three clothespins off.
I was out of control from the sudden agony. I screamed my brains out through the gag and jerked uncontrollably. My entire existence was reduced to agony and screaming for I don’t know how long. I didn’t pass out but I temporarily lost awareness of my surroundings. When the pain became almost bearable I recovered some awareness to see my wife just smiling and watching my agony.
When our eyes made brief contact she moved up towards my head and brushed my hair with her hand. It was not comforting at all as I was still in a great deal of pain. After a while the pain receded somewhat and I was able to give my wife puppy eyes, I don’t know what I was begging for because the torture had been already implemented but I didn’t know what else to do but beg.
I had almost forgotten that I still had the first three clothespins in me. My wife interpreted my begging eyes as requesting for the remaining clothespins to be removed. She said “Honey, it is going to hurt a lot when I remove each of these.”
It didn’t make sense to warn me about pain after all of the pain I had already been through but I was glad that she was at least talking to me now.
She removed the third clothespin and a strong pain shot to where the skin had been pinched. I screamed again and fought against the restraints. This same process was repeated for the last two clothespins.
I was literally exhausted from all of the screaming and pain. When my wife removed the gag and all four of the restraints I could not move an inch and remained spread-eagled. I was weak and still in pain and I wanted to pass out.
My wife moved my limbs together so that I lay in a more comfortable position. It felt very strange to be moved around with no will or strength of my own, like a puppet. My eyes were dry from having cried for too long and they were droopy as I was exhausted. My wife kissed my cheek and said “You have been a very good boy” as I drifted off into unconsciousness or sleep, despite still being in pain in several areas of my body.
I woke up with the two men’s used tennis shoes resting against my face. I did not try to move them for now, maybe they would help me think through the emotional impact of the latest horrors I had endured.
I decided, though, to try to avoid thinking about emotional impact or horrors. I coped better by just moving on. I got up from the bed and looked in the mirror at my back which was barely even red. I looked down to the sides of my stomach where the most agony was but was surprised that the skin was also barely red. All of that pain without any damage. I really was a wimp when it came to pain.
After using the bathroom and seeing that it was still only barely past noon, I went to see what my wife was up to. I guess I could have just stayed in bed to avoid more torment but boredom was torment in itself and I hoped she would let me have an hour or two off for good behavior.
No such luck. When I popped me head into her room she said “Good, you’re ready for more torture!” I cringed but did not shrink from my responsibility.
I thought again whether there was something else I should be doing other than slavishly worshipping my Master. But anything I thought of led to the probability that it would end any chance of a happy ending tonight. Returning again to the familiar refrain of being a slave to tonight, I relaxed in the strange comfort of knowing that I had no real choice.
My wife led me back into the bedroom and we each knelt on the bed facing each other. Her left hand reached around my head to grab a small handful of my hair and she looked into my eyes. I was afraid … no, afraid is not the word, I was dreading what I knew would be a very unpleasant experience. She sensed this and smiled at my emotional discomfort.
She said “On a scale of 1-10, have you been a good boy today?”
I wanted to answer 10 but I didn’t want to be punished for over-estimating so I said “7, Master.”
She said with sincerity “You have been a 10. I want you to know that I am very happy today and very appreciative. Thank you for bearing all of this.”
I replied with as much sincerity as I could muster “You’re very welcome, Master.”
She said “Changing the subject” and with her right hand slapped my face.
The slap was not hard and didn’t hurt much but it startled me. And I knew that there would be plenty more.
She slapped my face several times, harder than the first slap, and my face was stinging. She swapped hands to hold with her right hand the hair at the back of my head while she slapped my face with her left hand several times so that both of my cheeks stung and my jaw hurt somewhat. Yet again I was crying.
My wife stopped slapping my face and moved forward to hug my head to her breast while I finished crying. This routine of torture followed by tender consoling made me feel completely under her control, she could cause me intense agony or she could give me strong empathy at her whim and I didn’t have any real choice but to take it.
She then led me into the dining room and told me to sit down and wait. She prepared a lunch of good leftovers and we ate together like husband and wife, although it still felt like slave and Master. I took a chance and asked “Master, is there any chance that we could avoid pain this afternoon please?” I tried not to whine but I think some of that came through.
To my surprise she replied “Because you have been such a good boy and asked me so nicely I am going to grant your plea. No more severe pain this afternoon.”
I jumped out of my chair to hug her neck and said “Thank you, Master!” I quickly got down on the floor and kissed her bare feet over and over saying “Thank you, Master!” several times. She told me “Get up and finish your lunch, you goof” but I could tell that she loved my willing submission.
As I ate I realized I like the submission, too. My wife makes me all of these great meals and even makes sure that I am fed at lunch. The least I could do is to kiss and rub her feet when she wants, not to mention all of the other ways in which she makes me feel wonderful, well, not counting the past couple of weeks.
If my submission makes her happy then it makes me happy. I knew that it was more complicated than this but I was content to just keep it simple for now. I looked at a nearby clock, only 8 more hours to go before O-time!
How ridiculous to be going through all of this for several seconds of Orgasm-time but, well, it is what it is for today and we’ll just have to see how it goes.
My wife kept her word in not giving me much pain. However, she tried to fit in as much humiliation as she could. I think she realized that after tonight we would go back to being husband and wife again and tried to savor her remaining dominance time today.
Something new she did was to have me over her knee for a spanking of my bare butt, she didn’t spank hard or much and it only somewhat hurt but it was humiliating to be treated like a young boy being punished.
She then put a disposable dishwashing glove on her right hand. She held me down over her knee and slowly pushed a gloved finger into my anus, gently pushing around with the tip of her finger inside of me, making me feel very violated. At first it seemed painful but I realized that it was just uncomfortable and completely unfamiliar, not actually painful. I tried to squirm away but she just held me down and continued to torment me with her finger. Fortunately, she did not penetrate more than a small amount but that was enough for my last shreds of dignity to seemingly evaporate. I managed to avoid crying but I still moaned in discomfort probably two or three dozen times before she ended the humiliation.
Another new activity for today is that she used a power cord as a collar and leash on me, leading me to walk around the house on all fours like a dog. She placed a bowl of water on the floor and commanded me to drink like a dog. I had to beg like a dog, play dead, roll over, bark several times, and so on. It was humiliating but not a problem considering my goal for tonight.
Then she had me get up on my knees with my wrists bent down like a begging dog while she held my head by the hair and slapped my face several more times with each hand. It didn’t hurt all that much but I felt more humiliation as she just looked into my eyes, smiled, and slapped my face.
I felt like I was being guided through an introduction to a smorgasbord of humiliations. Maybe she was just trying out her feelings about different ways to humiliate me but that wasn’t a good idea because today would be the last day for any of that. I knew that after tonight she would at some point in the future ask me for permission to do some of these things but other than something minor I was not going to be willing to subject myself to being treated in these ways.
Later, after I washed the dishes from dinner, the young man showed up at 7pm after jogging and I had to beg to lick the sweat from his feet. As my mouth was filling up with the taste of his bare feet, he and my wife talked about me and laughed at me as if I was not there. These sessions of licking his feet were by far the worst humiliations I had suffered. I was encouraged by the fact that this was the last time I would ever do anything like this so I was able to make it through.
Finally, it was over and he left.
This was it. If my wife pulled another reversal making me wait longer or, in effect, making me use the safe word, I don’t think our marriage would have survived but she didn’t do that. She didn’t even tease me about leaving the chastity device on longer. I had paid and paid all week with humiliation and pain and my reward, our reward, was due.
As I sat on the bed my wife retrieved the key from another room and, saying “You have been a very good boy,” unlocked the chastity device. It felt like I had been locked in a dungeon for years and now I was finally free. I felt a great deal of sudden anger at the device and almost yelled an obscenity at it but that would have been foolish. I did not have any anger at all for my wife, she was just doing what I asked her to do and in a way I was glad that she enjoyed it so much so that at least one of us had a good time.
My momentary anger at the device melted and I looked at my wife with strong love and longing. After being dormant all week through the humiliation and pain, my penis quickly rose to attention as my wife and I kissed passionately.
Sex together was the best it had ever been, exactly as I had remembered it from a few weeks ago when I had been released from the chastity device. The sun exploded and I drifted from Jupiter to Saturn, pushed myself off to fly to Pluto, and just floated until I was back on earth. Words can’t do it justice.
As I snuggled with my wife I was happy that the amazing experience could be re-created. I thought of it as something like climbing a great mountain, it was something to aspire to and repeat once just to make sure it was not a dream or a fluke, but the build-up or effort is far too much to want to continue to experience. In a way I felt that a life goal was complete even though it was only a recent goal.
I hoped that my wife would accept less amazing sex with me and would understand that I can’t go through anything close to another week like that but I wasn’t ready to discuss it at this point.
We fell asleep in our embrace.
When we awoke my wife said “Honey, are you okay after the terrible week you suffered through?”
I responded “Yes, sweetie, I am fine. I had to see if our first experience was just a fluke and I am glad that it was not.”
She said “Any chance you would want to have the experience a third time?”
I have always disliked telling my wife no about anything so I tried to be careful not to hurt her feelings. I said “I would except that I just can’t take all of that torment during the week.” I paused and said “I’m sorry, sweetie.”
My wife said “It’s okay, I didn’t think so. Are we okay after everything I put you through last week?”
I said “Yes, perfectly good, I love you and will always love you.” She smiled. “In truth I did enjoy that you were very happy during the week. It surprised me how far you took it but you were great because we had agreed that you should take it as far as you could.”
She said “What do you mean it surprised you?”
I replied “Nothing, just some of that was sort of extreme.”
“What was the worst?” she asked.
I thought and said “I guess the clothespin pain was the worst but having to lick a guy’s feet was by far the worst humiliation.”
She said “What are your emotions now when you think back to licking his feet?” My wife was enjoying my discomfort at this but I was okay with that. I figured I’d not hold back my emotions since they would give her some more enjoyment.
I said “When I think back to that I feel like I am dirt under his foot and I could even taste his foot even now. It was awful.”
She laughed and said “Poor honey, I would say I’m sorry but the truth is that I enjoyed seeing you like that. I admit that it got me more ready for tonight, if you know what I mean.”
It didn’t surprise me after this past week that my wife would admit to being aroused at humiliating me but it was still strange to hear.
I said “Well, all’s well that ends well.” I could tell that she was disappointed.
A few days later on Wednesday night my wife asked if I would be interested in having sex that night and maybe trying twice per week for a while. I excitedly said yes. Fortunately, because of the intensity of the past week I had not masturbated on Tuesday night as I usually do so I was ready for her. Later that evening, as I was tied up and lightly whipped as our standard prelude to sex my wife commanded me “Lick his foot! Taste the sweat off his bare foot!” This bordered the line for me between submissive foreplay and actual humiliation but I could see that she really loved it so I was fine with it. Then, just as I was pumping inside of her she continued taunting me “I bet you secretly loved the taste of his foot, you licked his foot for a half hour! Hahaha!”
Sex was great for us that night, not like the ridiculous explosion from last Saturday night but it was still wonderful. Additional humiliation for me excited my wife and by association excited me. And twice a week was just the right amount for both of us.
I continued my increased attentiveness towards my wife with massages and frequent touching and she responded in kind. Our marriage became stronger because we showed our love for each other more frequently and enjoyed being together.
So after all of that drama with the chastity device and everything else, it did change our marriage and for the better. If I ever think of the device again it scares me to the core, but I am glad that it was a part of our lives.
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