hoosakitty

Choice…i get it

Not the Choice to fall in love or to hate
Not the Choice to build or destroy trust
Not the Choice to be passionate or cold

…but the Choice that we made, so long ago
to become what we are, and to define the intricacies of our survival

Of all the things you’ve taught me, all the lessons learned and unlearned,
the condition of Choice is the one that has affected me deepest.
Choice has defined who i am, ...

How to rebuild a person…logically from the inside out, starting at the core, where it is broken…but getting there is the hard part. We have to shed skin…all the layers that we have created to hide the wound and shield it from view.

I have shed mine all at once, painful and bloody, desperate to get to the ailing heart within. Starting at the beginning…starting over. One beat at a time, taking back what was broken, scattered, and stolen. Taking back what is mine.

Until i ...

My mind turns in circles with thoughts of you…around…around…Fingers and lips, hands and tongues, touches and teeth…Wrapped in your ropes, and your love…again…again…Taken to that place…that world…where only you and i exist.

I find myself pleading…begging…for what, i don’t know…more? less? release?…or maybe absolution…whatever it is, i need it more than air!

And there is only you…your voice in my ear…your place in my heart…and your ropes, binding my soul in helpless need. ...

thank you,
for reminding me
and for showing me
for bringing back the cold.


its better this way
if i’m in ice i can’t feel
if i’m frozen
i can’t cry


if i’m numb,
i can’t move to hold you
and find nothing is there
but empty dead air