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how it all began

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years ago is truly when it all began. I was living in Beaverton (yeah, yeah, i know, the lesbo living in beaverton, realllll funny) Oregon and I decided to take my interest into BDSM past the part where i read some stories on nifty and then get myself off. An acquaintance of mine mentioned being into the scene and we were going to check out some clubs (which are apparently plentiful in portland) to see what it's all about. until i found out she was into bloodletting and that freaked me out. Now, being a recovering self-injurer the last thing i wanted to do was start up with cutting or any sort of self injury again. And so I found myself thinking very black and white about BDSM, not realizing the spectrum and that it's all about what makes your bell ring and what your comfort zone is. So I settled for writing some of my own BDSM erotica and kept it at that.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago. During my stay in OR (all of a year), i did muster up the courage to get a user name on these lovely forums right here and lurked for a while. Couple of months ago I began to lurk again, without user name because I couldn't remember it. So i stuck to the forums i could see without a login and figured that was okay. I was only a few months into a new relationship, both her and I having abuse backgrounds, so i figured BDSM was out of the question, but still a great way to get off when I need to.

Through a turn of events, i meet a great woman, whom I shall call FruitFly, who becomes a friend to both my girlfriend, whom I shall call Bella, and I. All of us and another friend go out for a day on the town and FruitFly and I find we have much in common, including a penchant for the BDSM Library and a common label of Sub. Throughout the day she gets my mind to going, to really wanting to mention this to Bella, and to seeing the potential to live the way I want. not to mention have the sex I want too.

Long story short, turns out Bella's more open than I thought, is okay taking on the role of Domme, and we've come up with an outline of where we want the relationship to go.

For me this is mostly a bedroom/private thing. I don't wish to wear a collar or speak only when spoken to. So maybe you'll consider me "vanilla" but that's fine with me. My brand of Sub is my brand of Sub. And now Bella and I begin the bedroom journey of learning how it all works...



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