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Rating: 3 votes, 1.33 average.
I wrote this as a response to a blog about punishment after I read most of the replies and they all sounded the same to be about various levels of pain, beatings etc. (not that I'm against any of that!). I don't feel that my way is better, it's just what works for me.

I find that, in my experience physical pain is very rarely necessary and is sometimes not helpful (if the sub/slave enjoys pain). I find that when I conveyed to her that she had failed at her sole purpose, to serve, she genuinely felt it.

What I mean by that is, I would have her kneel in front of me completely naked (as her being completely naked always meant something, there was never a time she was naked that I had not ordered it). I would then ask her, "What did I expect you to do"? Upon her response I would ask her, "What did you actually do"? Upon her response I would ask, "How did you fail"? Response, "Why did you fail"? Response, "Is the excuse that you just gave me worth my disappointment"? I would then walk away while she answered the final question.

I would leave her kneeling there for a period of time I felt equated to the transgression.

I've never found this not to work but as with all things there is no one-size-fits-all solution. This worked for me, with one sub, that I knew extremely well.

I found physical pain was mostly useful in training situations where a quick slap with a thin cane could give immediate reinforcement. Other than that physical pain was something built into our "special time", sex, and when it was simply time to play with pain.

But again this worked for me, you have to try things until you find what works for you and your relationship/situation.



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