The Good, The Badd, and the Ugly

Mom ~

I know you think sometimes that my distance from you is a sign of how I feel. Partly that is my fault because I never really tell you.

Loving you is like being a moth drawn too close to the flame. The fire is vibrant, warm, and beautiful. But if you get too close it will burn you. So I've learned how to fly all around and just outside the edges. Close... but not too close. I've learned how to keep from going down in flames.

If it seems I hold back sometimes, that is why. It does not mean that I love you less.

Growing up with you holds so many special memories. You always tried to make everything special, even though we didn't have a lot of money. As a child, I never thought we ever went without.

You may have done things wrong, but there were so many things that you got just right.

You are a creative genius, a boundless form of energy. I remember music and dancing.... and laughter.

I remember backyard baseball games where no one ever kept score.

I remember homemade birthday cakes and getting simple presents I know must have set you back.

But mostly, I remember love. I remember how you always gave as much as you could.

There are times with my own children when I wonder if I am doing the right thing. And I smile when I think of how you handled certain situations when I was a child. And how you got it just right.

You are a mover, a shaker.. and ever moving entity. I am the perpetual daydreamer, happy to stay in the shadows and watch the world go by.

And yet, somehow, we sometimes come together.