Enchantments

Feedback requested. If there is interest i will post this and its continuations on the main forum, or maybe just here.

Tali'esa DeVertdulaic entered the foyer like a victorious toreador, cape and skirts swirling around her long slender legs, stamping the cold from her feet. The bitter chill winds had whipped her coppery tresses into tangled snarls down her back; windburn smeared her pale cheeks with red. She looked quite like any other maiden returning from a ride on a blustery day -- as long as her eyes were closed. When opened, the malevolent magic flowing from those yellow eyes was an almost palpable entity. She could cloak the evil when she felt the need; she could even channel it, when she chose. She felt no such inclinations here, in her brother's home.

Nani, Tali'eas's personal maid, bustled down the stairs. Nani had been a gift to Tali'esa for her 12th birthday; the tiny blonde wisp of a girl was the only servant in the villa who was not frankly terrified by the yellow-eyed half-sister of Sir Vincent Cravenmoor.

Nani sketched a brief curtsy, "Ma'am, your bath awaits along with your customary mulled wine."

Tali'esa cupped the blonde's chin in unnaturally long fingers, "Such a sweet girl, my little Nani. A pity that you don't belong to someone kinder." The long-nailed hand that raked across the tops of Nani's breasts was a blur. Four thin red lines popped up on the olive skin. The sight of miniscule drops oozing from the lines gave Tali'esa a sense of relaxation, "Thank you, Nani. I will have my bath now."

*****************

Tali'esa luxuriated, eyes closed, in the scented, steaming water; a gust of cool air from the hall disturbed the surface of the bath. Tali'esa merely murmured, "What took you so long, Brother dear? I thought you would have been here sooner to get all the gory, sexy details."

Vincent leaned over the tub and grasped the slender throat firmly in one hand., "Bitch, report, now."

"I was successful," Tali'esa gasped, and the iron fingers released a bit on her throat. "The Prime Minister has vowed that the Queen's diamond and jade necklace will be on my bosom before a fortnight has passed. All that is needed now, is the right word to the right people that someone of high station has gambling debts and they are willing to resort to thievery. He will be caught and summarily executed. The leadership of your opposition in the councils will be gone. The icing on the cake is that, unless someone outbids you, even the man's wife and children can be yours on the slave block. All this I bring to you and I don't even get a 'good girl.' If I weren't such happy bitch, I would have to pout."

Vincent scowled, "How do you know the old fool will follow through?"

Tali'esa looked shocked and cupped her full lush breasts in her hands. "Flesh, brother dear, young flesh. Give men of a certain age just a taste of it and it is worse than the poppy juice. They would line up in the market and buy it by the pound if they could. My magic enhances the effect, of course, but the foundation is the lust for youth-- young, tender flesh. Then, there is the guilt. He whispers his daughter's name when he spends inside me. He asks that I call him Father. Oh, he has confided his most shameful fantasies with me, he will not break his promise. Has my enchantment ever let you down before, darling brother?"

Vincent's fingers cupped her chin in a bruising grasp, "Just remember, little whore, who is immune to your enchantments. Don't be late for the reception this evening." Vincent rose and exited the bathchamber.

The instant the door closed, the water began to ripple and churn. The massive orgasm that Tali'esa had been holding back since Vincent's hand closed on her throat now tore through her body and mind. She shuddered and moaned mindlessly, drifting for a moment.

Waiting for her maid Tali'esa picked up the gloves that Vincent had left behind. She inhaled the intoxicating aroma of Vincent and fine leather. She opened the wide cuff of the glove, Yes! there they were -- several hairs from his arm. Using a solid silver pair of tweezers she plucked them from the leather, and placed them in a small silver compact. The contents of the compact were almost complete, she pondered. Aloud she chuckled and whispered, "Enjoy your immunity now, no man is invulnerable."

*****************

Vincent watched from hooded eyes as his half-sister worked the room. She was invaluable as a hostess for his entertainments. Even without the use of her magic, she had a knack for making a man feel as if he were the only one in the world, let alone the room. Tali'esa could garner more useful information during the course of one party than his network of agents did in a month of skulking. Occasionally, her flashing golden eyes would meet his as she stroked the scarf that hid his fingermarks on her throat.

"She continues to underestimate me," Vincent mused. He knew all about the shining compact where she gathered the items she thought would give her power over him. That attempted enchantment would be turned against her, but for now it amused him to give her enough rope to hang herself. Vincent felt a stirring in his breeches as he thought of other things the seeing fire revealed.

Only last night, as he watched, Tali'esa had summoned Nani to her private sitting room. In the fire he saw his half-sister force the tiny blonde to her knees. The thickly quilted brocade wall hangings absorbed Tali'esa's soft moans and Nani's sharp cry. Long fingers sunk into pale blonde curls and bruised the scalp as the girl's face was shoved firmly into his sister's hungry, grinding cunt. The maid must have a talented tongue, for her Mistress climaxed quickly in a series of shuddering jerks accompanied by feral snarls. Tali'esa dismissed the girl with a wave of her hand, and continued writing in her diary.
******************************
From the diary of Tali'esa DeVertdulaic
Is there anything more tiresome than a besotted old gentleman? The tender caresses, the utterly banal protestations of undying adoration. The unendurable sweetness of it makes my teeth hurt. At least that young upstart of a knight who was impudent to Vincent at last year's tourney had some fire to him. And he wasn't so very hard on the eyes either. Pity that most of Vincent's enemies are older gentlemen. I wonder how the young knight fares in his exile on the frontier. Perhaps the crystals at the Pavilion will tell me.
*************

Vincent shook his head and returned his thoughts to the juxtaposition of the gaily dressed crowd of people in his great hall and the howling storm outside the window. He felt a swell of pride, that on a night such as this he was able to have bare-shouldered women and tropical flowers in his house. His innate sense of superiority told him that, if not for him, many of these people would be left at the mercy of nature on some similar storm-lashed plain. "Not bad for an unacknowledged bastard, eh?", he thought in tones of self-congratulation.

He always thought it a marvelous joke. How these oh-so-respectable guests would recoil in horror if they knew the sources of his wealth. His brothels in the outlying provinces catered to every fantasy and fetish, no matter how deviant. His network of fences, allowed him to furnish his villa with priceless antiques and treasures for a fraction of their value. If so ordered, his smugglers' boats could move a herd of trumpeting elephants through a full regatta of the harbor guard. With a contented sigh, he left the bay window to mingle with his guests.
************************

Vincent sat in his study sipping brandy and listening to the activity of servants clearing up after the reception. A light tap on the door preceded Tali'esa's entrance, "May I sit, Brother?" He gave his assent with a curt nod. She gracefully sank to the thick carpet at his feet; he held the snifter to her lips and allowed her a small sip of brandy. She smiled her gratitude and rolled her head and shoulders, physically and mentally sloughing off the "Young Lady of the Manor" persona she donned for these events. Vincent enjoyed the light of the fire playing in her gleaming hair, "Anything of interest to report?"

Tali'esa stretched and sighed, "A small cloud on the horizon. The Earl, Lord DuPres, is uncertain on the writs you want, regarding the dragon-people. You need his support, there are several who follow his lead in council. Sadly, my sources report, that I am not only several years too old to attract him, but I also have the wrong plumbing. At any rate, it explains why he goes through stable boys at such a clip."

Vincent chuckled and shook his head, "Might even gives credence to the rumor that the heir to the Earldom is more properly the heir to the butler's pantry. I never bought that story about the lad being the image of his alleged great-grandfather." He marveled at her ability for collecting bits of information, but he did not doubt her -- she had been right too many times.

Tali'esa leaned her head lightly on Vincent's knee, "Since my charms won't do the trick, some other method of persuasion will have to be found."

Vincent twirled one silky tress of coppery hair around a finger, "Leave it to me, Tali. You have done well and you still have your plate full with the Prime Minister."

The amber eyes rolled back, "And how glad I will be when that obstacle is out of the way. Only for you, darling Brother, would I endure such a prattling fool. How on earth he was ever thought wise enough to be an advisor to the crown is far beyond me." Long, red- lacquered nails tickled his muscular inner thigh through the soft deerskin breeches; a pale light glowed from her eyes as she gazed at him. She edged her body closer and nuzzled into his groin, softly murmuring, "Perhaps the tedium of his attentions has earned me a reward?" The tip of her tongue flickered rapidly over her crimson lips.

Vincent did not reply; he grasped a handful of her hair and jerked her head back. The quickening of her breath and flush in the cheeks would have signaled fear in most females. Tali'esa was not most females. The harshness and pain made her juices flow as nothing else did. A mewling whimper slipped from her throat, as Vincent's free hand went to the laces of his breeches. He saw the hungry fire leap into her eyes when his manhood sprang free from the soft deerskin, "Is this what my little cock-whore wants?" he taunted.

Tali'esa, swallowed and stammered, "Yes, oh yes Sir. Please, please take your pleasure from my mouth. It has been days and days since I tasted your hot seed and felt it slipping down my throat. I have needed it, craved it, ached for it."

Cruelty glinted in Vincent's lapis lazuli colored eyes, "Very well, then. Take it!" As he spoke, he grasped another handful of hair and forced her hungry mouth onto the throbbing shaft. He took up a hard pace and began to thrust, bruising her throat with his hardness. Low moans and growls sent vibrations through his shaft. His fingers tore at her scalp as he forced her head up and down. Tears flowed freely on her cheeks; each time he withdrew, she noisily sucked in as much air as she could for the next breath-stopping assault. Her eyes never left his, drinking in the pleasure in his face as he possessed her warm, willing mouth.

Waves of a climax suddenly rippled through her slender body, but the hands firmly in her hair never let her mouth and throat slow. Her scream was muffled by his thick shaft down her throat. Juices gushed from her spasming core; her body shuddered as she surrendered to the sensations.

She felt the shaft in her mouth began to throb and swell even more; she heard Vincent's groan. His hands ground her face into his body, shaft filling her throat as his seed exploded again and again down into her belly. He quickly withdrew to let the last burst splash on her face.

She bent her head to him once more to suckle him clean and gather the last drops on her tongue. Using her fingers she scooped his seed from her face and licked them clean. His hands relaxed in her hair; they now caressed tenderly. She used a long thick lock of hair to dry him, "Thank you, Sir."


"Such a sweet little cock-whore." he rumbled, "To bed with you, Tali. I have plans to make for Lord DuPres."

She nodded and rose to leave. When she reached the door his voice stopped her, "One more thing, Tali. Have Nani clean the juices from your cunt before you sleep."

Tali nodded her head, "As you wish." She blushed as she left the room. She wondered how Vincent knew the things he did.

Nani leapt from her pallet in the corner of Tali'esa's dressing room when her Mistress entered. Tali'esa pulled her knee-length mane over her shoulder so the maid could unhook her gown.

While Nani was releasing the tiny hooks, Tali took a small pair of scissors and clipped a lock of hair that had Vincent's seed on it. The wavy lock was wound and put into the silver compact. She snapped the gleaming case shut and locked it with a small key that dangled amidst the many charms on her bracelet. Her dress fell forward, slipping to puddle on the floor at her feet, revealing skin that gleamed like polished ivory. Tali stepped out of the circle of saffron-colored brocade.

Nani bent to pick up the gown while Tali's long huntress' stride carried her to the wide chaise in the corner. The low musical pitch of her voice resonated in the room, "Leave that, my sweet Nani, and come to me." Nani stepped toward the chaise; Tali's hand flew up, "That gown is unnecessary," gesturing to Nani's night dress, "take it off."

A soft blush crept over Nani's tawny complexion; she slipped the nightdress over her head. The shiny scarring of her slave brand, just above her right breast, stood out in the firelight. It was a circle enclosing the letters "TDV", in the formal script. Nani was proud to bear a personal brand, rather than the generic "s" in the common alphabet. She often adjusted her bodice to allow it to show -- especially when she was working around the lesser servants. In her eight years of service to the young witch, Nani had grown to love her mistress deeply. Nani's greatest fear was that one day she would displease Miss Tali'esa and be banished forever from the spell the enchantress wove. Death would be a lesser punishment.

From the chaise Tali'esa extended a graceful hand and beckoned, "Come, sweet little Nani, come lay with me."

Nani approached the chaise, careful not to show the eagerness in her light step or her clear gray eyes. She lay down on the chaise beside her Mistress, inwardly trembling with anticipation. Nani knew from subtle voice undertones that this was a night when she would lie with her Mistress not as a servant, but as a lover. Nani lived for these rare nights.

What Nani called love for her Mistress was more accurately a mixture of loyalty and addiction. Tali'esa was still a young witch, in only her twentieth year. Her mother had died before Tali had come fully into her powers, so she had little guidance in the use and control of the craft that bubbled in her blood. With all the time Nani spent with Tali and her possessions, it was only natural for the tiny blonde to become dependent of the field of magic that crackled in the proximity of the not fully trained witch.

Every inch of Nani's skin tingled when Tali began to lightly drag her long nails over the tiny, pert breasts. Tali's soft lips nuzzled on Nani's neck; the witch's hot breath on her skin made Nani's nipples harden and begin to ache. Nani loosed a sharp cry when a soft warm tongue tip began to trace the brand on her breast. Her female parts felt as if they were on fire; her hips involuntarily thrust upward.

The long nails trailed down Nani's torso toward the throbbing, dripping core. At the exact instant when Tali's flesh touched the throbbing pearl nestled in the soft tufts of blonde hair and puffy lips, the witch's almost pointed white teeth sunk into the soft underside of the olive-skinned breast. Nani's body convulsed with the explosions of pain and ecstasy that catapulted her over the edge of a mind shattering climax.

Tali'esa raised her head to gaze intently at Nani's face. Tali had learned only recently that she could feed off the sexual release of other women at the moment of orgasm; she felt the electric blue energy flow into her mind, sending power surging into her limbs.

While Nani was still quivering with the aftershocks of her release, Tali moved quickly to kneel over the sweetly gasping mouth. Bending forward, she lapped and suckled gently on the labia that were still trickling moisture. Nani reached her arms around Tali's buttocks and pulled the neatly trimmed mound into her lips. The maid's tongue moved nimbly from hole to slit to burning pearl, in the dance she knew would bring her mistress' sweet nectar gushing into her mouth.

Tali's body stiffened and shuddered; juices sprayed from her cunt. Nani was rewarded with the snarling howls that shook the delicate crystal bottles of scent on the vanity; Her face and hair were soaked with the juices that burst from her mistress. A purely female electricity quivered in the air. Tali'esa rolled off Nani and moved to lay beside her once more. Tali's hands stroked into the damp mop of blonde curls and pulled the soaking face to her own breast. Nani suckled quietly, basking in the glow of the pleasure she had given her mistress.

Tali's breathing slowed; when Nani was sure that her mistress was quite asleep, the maid tenderly covered the enchantress with a silver fox throw. After placing a tender kiss on the pale ivory cheek, Nani curled at Tali's feet and drifted into sleep.


Nani rose when the first fingers of sunlight streamed in the window; she dressed quickly. There was a light tap at the chamber door; Nani opened the door to take Tali'esa's breakfast tray from the kitchen maid. The young maid inspected the tray carefully; the silverware gleamed, the single white rose stood upright in the bud vase, the bread was still warm from the ovens, the fruit from the greenhouse ripened to perfection -- yes, all was in order.

Tali'esa woke to a gentle hand on her shoulder and Nani's sweet voice, "Ma'am, your breakfast is here." Tali stretched and moaned as her eyes fluttered open.

"Bring it here, Nani. Send word to the stables to have the strawberry stallion saddled for me immediately after lunch. Notify Cook that I will be down presently to go over menus for the week; she should have them ready for my approval. Make certain that the scribe knows that the invitations for the New Moon Ball must be ready to send no later than midday tomorrow. Pack my saddlebags for an overnight stay at the Mother's Pavilion."

Nani was rapidly taking down Tali's instructions on a small pad of paper she kept in her pocket. When Tali began to sip her tea, Nani interjected, "Respectfully, Ma'am, Master Vincent has left word that he requires your presence in his study after your morning grooming."

Tali nibbled on a bit of bread dipped in honey, "Thank you, Nani. Inform him I will be there. Go now and return quickly to dress me and arrange my hair." Nani slipped her notebook into her apron pocket and bobbed a curtsy and left the room quietly.

Tali'esa finished her breakfast tray and let her mind drift. The heavy warmth in her lower abdomen told her that her moon flow would begin on schedule today or tomorrow. Which was perfect, since her own menstrual blood was the only missing ingredient in the talisman that would ensnare Vincent and make him vulnerable to her enchantments. She sighed and rose to prepare the ritually cleansed rags to catch her first flow -- for the first was the most potent. She needed every advantage possible in this calling of magic stronger than she had dealt with before. The slender witch drew in a deep breath and sighed; it was time to go play doting sister and responsible young lady of the manor.

Very nice story muse, and I want the secret decoder ring, so I will work on the second part also.

Very nice, Muse, as always you impress me.

My foremost suggestion is that you dwell a bit more on each situation; particularly in chapter 1, the story feels rushed, which leaves a sense of confusion (why doesn't Nani fear her? what is this world like? where has Tali been? where is their family? how do they fit in the political games they're playing? how exactly do tali and her brother feel about one another? why is the brother immune?)

Do post more -- I look forward to reading it!

EB,

All your questions will be answered in future installments. This is a very small part of a much longer work, (i think it will run novella, if not Novel, length before this particular "muse" gets through shaking me in its teeth.

Rhabbi,

Thank you, oh future Junior Grammar Nazi.



rose

Muse,
I'm a newbie here, so I'm not going to pretend to any criticism beyond whether I liked it.
-------- And I love it -------------
It make my opening pieces look so bad. It remindered me of a figure skater like Nancy Kwan: mastery of a style, just complete mastery over what was done.
I finished the piece and thought --------Beautiful-------
I hope you do add more. I don't mind being made jealous when it's so much fun to read

Thomas,

Newbieness (is that even a word) does not invalidate your critique. No feedback has ever hurt my feelings. i am a professional author, and you don't get there by having easily hurt feelings. (A monstrous ego is actually required.)

i am very glad you liked it and there will be more.

Thanks for the kind words.

rose

I rather liked it. I would like to see the setting more fleshed out, as mentioned before. The writing style is descriptive and sensual, which is appropriate to the setting (I've tried to get that kind of atmosphere, but failed :( For what it's worth, I think you should continue.

Vincent sat at his large desk finishing the final draft of a proposal, regarding a particularly stringent taxation, to go before the councils. He lay his pen aside when he heard Tali's light tap on the door. He noted her wide skirts, tall boots and simple braided hair as she strode across the room, "Riding again, Sister?"

"I have need of renewal, Vincent. This afternoon I leave to stay the night at the Mother's Pavilion," she replied, as she sank to the carpet at his feet.

Vincent nodded his approval; though he hated to have her out of his orbit, her magic was a valuable tool for him. The periodic trips to the Pavilion were a necessity to maintain the strength of that magic. He accepted the absences without embracing them. He eyed her sternly, "I presume that your household duties will not be neglected for this trip."

Tali nodded her head as she ticked items off on her fingers, "I will meet with Cook shortly to approve menus. The scribe has been reminded that the invitations to the ball must be ready for the couriers no later than midday tomorrow. The guest list finalized at three hundred. I have healed your favorite bed thrall after the damage you did to her last week. I will return before sunset tomorrow. All is in order, Brother."

Vincent grunted and waved her away, "Away with you, then. Travel safely. Tell Cook the roast of venison was too well done last time. See it doesn't happen again."

Tali'esa rose in one fluid motion and bent to brush her lips across her half-brother's cheek; she swept silently out of the room. Inhaling the light honeysuckle fragrance she customarily wore, Vincent pondered that it was not so much her absences he minded. It was that she was going to a place forbidden to him. She was going somewhere that he could not even find in the seeing fires. "Paltry women's magic, no doubt," he muttered dismissively and went back to his proposal for the councils -- something more worthy of his masculine attention.

******

After having dispatched her duties with the Cook, the scribe and other tedious business, Tali'esa had Nani bring a light lunch of cheese, fruit and bread to her sitting room. Nani scurried about doing the last of the packing; her expression was one of resigned sadness. She knew she must not mind her Mistress' leaving, but it seemed that a miasma of dullness settled over the villa while she was gone.

After Tali had finished her lunch and was making certain that her silver compact was safely tucked into her reticule, she noticed a touch of pallor in her maid's cheeks. "You are pale, sweet Nani. Do you feel ill?" Tali'esa asked as her hand flicked out to rest on Nani's forehead.

Nani thrilled to her Mistress' touch, "I'm fine, thank you for asking, Ma'am. I'll just miss serving you while you are away. 'Tis wicked of me, but I wish I could go to that place with you."

Tali caressed the curve of Nani's cheek, "If I could take you with me, I would. But you know that only blooded witches may approach the Pavilion. It is only one night, Nani. It will give you time to work on my wardrobe, without my incessant demands for your lovely body. Oh! Speaking of my wardrobe, confirm with the seamstress that my gown for the ball will be ready for the first fitting day after tomorrow." With that, Tali snatched up her saddlebags and the lynx-fur cape and was gone. Nani whispered a soft supplication for the Mother to travel with her Mistress and bring her home safely.

****************

Tali'esa rode across the plain as though the very demons of the netherworld were hot on her heels. Crouched over the neck of the stallion, she reveled in the sensation of near-flight that only Orn'shio's gallop could give her. Vincent often scolded her and there was much talk about how scandalous it was for a girl of her age and station to ride astride. To mollify her brother, Tali donned respectable riding clothes and used the cursed sidesaddle while riding in town, even though she loathed being limited to the stately trot and canter, required by the insane and inherent lack of balance. When riding abroad, though, she wore her wide peasant skirts and rode astride -- as the Mother had intended. When Vincent caught her at it, he would grumble, "Damnit, Tali, the least you can do is try to act like a lady. You are the Mistress of the villa now; not some adolescent tomboy."

Thoughts of Vincent fled her mind; she pulled the stallion up short -- a move that made him rear on his hind legs and would have toppled a lesser rider. There it was -- the circle of cypress trees that ringed the lake. Within the lake was the island that held the Mother's Pavilion; it was less than an hour's ride away. Soon, so very soon, Tali'esa would be able to rest and renew herself in the Mother's Arms. Orn'shio stamped and snorted impatiently. Tali stroked his mane, "I know, you are anxious to be there, as well." She took a long swallow from the wineskin that hung from the saddle horn, "Fly, fly us there." She gigged the horse's ribs with her heels and they were sailing across the plain.

In what seemed a few moments, Tali dismounted at the edge of the cypress ring. She stretched her legs and fed Orn'shio a lump of sugar. She took a deep breath and led the stallion toward the stables and the house of preparation.

The Preparatory house and the stables were operated by half-blood witches, who could not approach the Pavilion. They fed on the energy of the full blood witches they helped prepare for the journey to the island. While Orn'shio was being groomed in his generous paddock, Tali'esa was soaking in water from the Sacred Spring. Her eyes closed; her lips moved in a soundless chant to the Mother.

After the purification rites were over, Tali'esa stood naked on the bank of the lake, the light breeze played in her loose flowing hair. She extended her arms to the side, palms facing up, and whispered the words that would summon the barge to take her to the Pavilion. This was the final test of whether or not she was sufficiently cleansed; if she was not, the barge would not respond to her call.

Without a sound, not so much as even a ripple on the water, the barge appeared out of the mist. It was unmanned, but still made for the naked form on the shore in a direct line. Tali'esa waded a short distance into the lake. She whispered, "Thank you, Mother, for your grace." She stepped onto the barge; the enchanted craft began its mysterious, silent return to the island Pavilion.

***********

While the barge made its smooth, noiseless way to the island, the mists crept around Tali'esa's slender form -- embracing her like a returning lover. She felt the essence of the island infuse her with an odd mix of pure relaxation and crackling energy. Her aura became visible -- a translucent cloud of color that swirled turquoise with pulsing veins of purple and magenta.

The mists ahead of her were clearing; the low horizontal planes of the pavilion were becoming visible. There were few verticals; the pavilion hugged the land, appearing almost as an organic growth out of the island itself. Rich, verdant tropical vegetation -- vastly different from the scrub that grew on the plains surrounding the ring of cypress trees -- caressed the warm, moist air and overtook the senses. The blossoms were vivid reds and yellows and oranges; some of them could only be found on this island. Tali reminded herself that she needed to replenish her stores of several of the healing roots and leaves only available here.

She stepped onto the pier when the barge came to a gentle stop. She whispered, "Mother, I am home. Thank You for receiving me." She started up the path to the Pavilion and renewal.

*********

Tali was greeted on the stairs by an old woman, Madame Alar'cire, who could have been anywhere between eighty and one-hundred and eighty. The crone's hair was snow white; her face was creased with the lines of experience -- yet her step was as light and confident as that of a young girl. Her eyes glowed a luminous emerald and power resonated in her voice when she spoke, "Tali'esa, purple and magenta in your aura? You have been away far too long. Never mind, we shall have you back in lovely blues and greens in a twinkling. Welcome, sweet girl. In the Mother's name, welcome." The older woman bent to place a kiss of blessing on Tali's brow and led the troubled young witch into the inner chambers.

*****************

Shortly before noon the following day, Tali'esa stepped off the barge again. Her aura glowed with every imaginable shade of blues and greens. She clutched a parcel containing the roots and leaves she needed to replenish her healing stores, as well as a sealed sac with the rags that had caught her first moon flow. Her steps were quick toward the Preparatory House; she was anxious to be back to Vincent's villa. She had business to tend.

Orn'shio was already saddled and packed; she only needed to dress. In a small cell at the Preparatory House, one of the half-blood witches helped her into her things. As the black haired girl knelt to smooth the wool stockings up Tali's long legs, her nostrils flared -- hungrily drinking in the scent of the enchanted island that was forever denied the half-witches. She eased the tall, leather boots onto Tali's feet, rose and bobbed a small curtsy, "Mother grant you safe travels, M'lady."

Tali'esa smiled; she felt a great compassion for the half-witches. Only the phase of the moon at the time of conception determined whether a full or half-witch would be born; a half-witch who planned carefully could give birth to a blooded witch. A half-witch's life was fraught with danger; they could only cloak their magic imperfectly. Some lived on the outside, but they had to be constantly on their guard. Most chose to reside and serve in the Preparatory Houses at the various sacred sites; it was just safer.

The girl's plight was none of her own doing; Tali stroked her cheek and asked, "What is your name, Sister?"

The girl blushed furiously, "Ahni'ci, M'Lady."

The witch's long fingers brushed across the girl's lips, "A lovely name for a lovely witch." Tali swiftly moved to capture the girl's mouth with her own; tongues and breaths mingled. The blooded witch allowed a small infusion of enchantment to flow before she broke the kiss. Tali watched as the younger girl's eyes and skin took on a glow and she stood a little taller.

Ahni'ci whispered breathlessly, "Oh, thank you M'Lady. Thank you. You are far too generous." She sketched another curtsy and was gone.

Tali'esa shrugged her shoulders; she had no idea why the Mother had prompted her to do that. Who knew when the gratitude of a half-witch could come in handy? "The reason will be made clear in the Mother's time," Tali assured herself. In the Mother's realm, there was no such thing as a coincidence.
****************

Only minutes later Tali and Orn'shio were flying across the plain. The enchanted grove and waters from the sacred spring had refreshed the stallion -- it seemed they were about to soar into the clouds. Tali crouched low over the neck of the beast and surrendered to the sensations. She would be back at the villa soon, and resume the lady of the manor guise. For now, she was pure magic; soaring free -- one with Orn'shio -- feeling nothing but her own enchantment and power.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RiverOtter

I rather liked it. I would like to see the setting more fleshed out, as mentioned before. The writing style is descriptive and sensual, which is appropriate to the setting (I've tried to get that kind of atmosphere, but failed :( For what it's worth, I think you should continue.

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Glad you like it. The setting will be more fleshed out as the tale progresses. This is my first venture into fantasy in conjunctin with erotica. Feeling my way as it were. Vincent and Tali will continue

rose

The story is starting to tie together and i can see the world making sense.

well crap....there goes any plans of mine for being creative..i just think some have it and some don't...i make a fantastic reader...i love this so far..i love the world of fantasy and mysticism,combined with erotica makes it perfect..you write so very well Muse...i'm drawn into the characters..i do wonder what on earth Vincent did to his thrall that she must be healed before use again....and thanks to thrall for explaining the meaning of her name...well done...

This is very good, in my opinion, muse, very creative and well written, with none of the exaggerated blood, gore, and sex scenes that so many stories, here at the library, often rely on so heavily. None of the overused clichés and metaphors either which is refreshing in itself. And that opening paragraph: ”... stamping the cold from her feet. The bitter chill winds had whipped her coppery tresses into tangled snarls down her back; windburn smeared her pale cheeks with red...” painted such an exquisite picture in my mind’s eye. I just had to keep reading from there, and I wasn’t disappointed.

Some parts (chapters) did feel a little disjointed to me, also, but I’m not really sure why. I think, perhaps in a couple of instances the previous chapter didn’t feel quite complete—like it had been cut too short or was missing a closing sentence, or maybe it was just because I was reading all of a single continuous page?

I don't necessarily think what's already been written needs a whole lot more, in fact, I actually disgree with the previous reviewers who say it needs "fleshing out" (Sorry, guys). Please, again this is just me, and my opinion, but while I like the general setting and characters to be clear from the start, I also kind of like like stories where the details are feed to me gradually. I like to read and pick up little bits and pieces of information along the way. It's part of what keeps me interested.

Keep it coming muse, this is top notch. :)