Should I be here???

I dont know if I should be here, i am a vanilla guy, and while talking to some sub, i got to know abt this alternate lifestyle... i immediately got attracted towards this... although nothing hardcore... simple control stuff.. i thought I wanted to keep an identity as a online DOM since i dont think i want to try anything in real as yet.... but then it looks like everytime i am horny.. i visit this site... look up personals... chat in irc... and thats it...

I dont know if i shud be here... help me understand myself...

Also since now i am horny... i am thinking of this stuff... and i want to know if a mature sub can mentor a newbie DOM?

It is only you that can decide if you should be here {i will say} Sir...

If it feels right and you feel like you are in the right place then yes Sir you should be here...

If you find you enjoy yourself as well in the forum and in chat .. then yes Sir you should be here...

If you find you are very curious with the life style and want to find out about more of it .. again yes Sir you could not have picked a better place to be but here...

If you want guidance and learning tools to find your inner-self.. then yes you have found one of the most friendliest places to be... so once again yes Sir you should be here....

If you find yourself craving this life style even just a small amount... then Sir yes you should be here...

Or if you just want to make friends and investigate this life style and the wonderful people involved.. Yes Sir you should be here...

i am a sub of over 20yrs.. although i would never consider myself as a mentor.. but i feel you have a taste that you can't quite get out of your mouth or mind Sir.. I may be wrong in thinking that Sir .. but if that being the case i would say maybe you should be here Sir.... and learn more about the life style..

Only you will know Sir if it is right for you in time... But you will never know unless you allow yourself to be involved.. and that would be a shame Sir if you were always left wondering... Not knowing if your full desires were met..

So i would suggest Sir to stick it out for awhile and see where it goes..

Just my opinion Sir

hugs
snowflake

I am a bit confused finding my way around this site...is it me or is the site?

thanks for the quick reply snowflake, lemme think over what u have said.... and wow 20 years...

Blushes yes Sir 20yrs.. and that would be r/l ..some of it being a 24/7 sub Sir.. blushes again..

i hope i have helped... but just don't go on what i say.. ask around.. you will find the people here are more then willing to answer your questions...

i hope to see you around here.. it may be interesting .. giggles with a light twinge of a purr and a wink.. Sorry Sir a bit of sassy coming out..

hugs
snowflake

ReqSpec, your profile states that you're a sub/male. Now you want to be a Dom? Or are you a switch? I'm confused.

No one's gonna chase you out for not being sufficiently committed to BDSM. :) I'd say that as long as you feel you're getting something out of being here, then you should be here.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by blythespirit

ReqSpec, your profile states that you're a sub/male. Now you want to be a Dom? Or are you a switch? I'm confused.

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hehe, i dont even remember when did i put that... in fact when i got to know a few things here, i got my nick changed from reqspec to ReqSpec to shout out loud that i was a DOM.

Thanks, I have corrected the profile.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ReqSpec

hehe, i dont even remember when did i put that... in fact when i got to know a few things here, i got my nick changed from reqspec to ReqSpec to shout out loud that i was a DOM.

Thanks, I have corrected the profile.

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No problem. And as far as whether or not you should be here - well, everyone has to be somewhere so, why not here? It's a good place to get your feet wet.

When I first came here I wasn't too sure I belonged. Frankly, I'm still wondering. Nevertheless, I continue to come, read and learn. Maybe someday something will click.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by blythespirit

ReqSpec, your profile states that you're a sub/male. Now you want to be a Dom? Or are you a switch? I'm confused.

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Maybe that was a misunderstanding... everyone from India is considered...


sub-continental.... :rolleyes:

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Req... stick it out. Learn a little. Your question is something you need to decide for yourself... and you can only do a good job of that if you take the time to educate yourself... which would also be great advice if you weren't questioning yourself but merely intended to stick around regardless. ;)

And I think an intelligent experienced sub could do wonders for a beginning dominant. Too many who want to be dominant partners think they can't show they are still learning.

Hell... I'm still learning and intend to learn 'til the day I die... of pleasure.

I'll bet you would get an outstanding response with a personal ad that said something like:

"New to the lifestyle with dominant desires... Looking for that special submissive man/woman (fill in what you need) who can teach me how to teach him/her a lesson."

Something in that vein.
Good luck.

vanillia or not vanilla that is the question.

Quote:

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I dont know if i shud be here... help me understand myself...

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everyone belongs here who is intersted in BDSM, how else is one to learn about it.

smiles

Thanks for the tip ozme52, but i dont think i will be able to it out properly...
There is one thing I have observed (not talking abt this forum in particular), ppl here are way too formal, agreed the cummunity also consists of slaves who have obey and always talk respectfully, but still... chat for me should always be casual... how will u know the person, if they dont behave how they would naturally.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ReqSpec

Thanks for the tip ozme52, but i dont think i will be able to it out properly...
There is one thing I have observed (not talking abt this forum in particular), ppl here are way too formal, agreed the cummunity also consists of slaves who have obey and always talk respectfully, but still... chat for me should always be casual... how will u know the person, if they dont behave how they would naturally.

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I'm kind of surprise to hear you say this. Having been to quite a few other bdsm forums, this is the most down to earth, friendly, and helpful one out there. No dom/mes here require you to call them Sir/Ma'am, unless the sub chooses to. That type of respect has to be earned, not mandated.

I hope you find what you're looking for. As for this forum, you'll likely not find another where the members are so welcoming and warm. IMO.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Playfulsub

Having been to quite a few other bdsm forums, this is the most down to earth, friendly, and helpful one out there. No dom/mes here require you to call them Sir/Ma'am, unless the sub chooses to.

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Yes, I must agree with Playfulsub...but only because it's true :)

I've looked at a few other forums/websites and found this one to be the friendliest and most welcoming.

I had initial reservations about joining 'just another BDSM site' but I'm really glad that I came here - and I hope you find what you're looking for.

There really are some very nice people in this forum.

hi i'm eswn,
only you sweetheart can know what's "right" for you. however, who are you hurting by being curious? sounds like you're a prime candidate for light bondage and control, and eventually maybe more. keep asking. but keep looking inside too. don't knock it till you try it. i've been in this a long time. it's in you or it's not. keep your chin up (when you're allowed to...hehehe). it will work itself out. have a wonderful day.
slave eswn

I agree with Playfulsub and Tufty that this is the best BDSM forum around. I belonged to several others before I came here. Three of them were basically pick up sites and I am not in the market for a new Master. The other two were very elitist and it was pointed out to me several times on each forum that I didn't belong in either one. I stumbled upon this one by accident and have really enjoyed my time here so far.

I am more formal than some other subs here, in that I call Dom/mes "Sir" and "Ma'am." But that was the way that I was trained and no one has had a problem with that. On some other sites I didn't appear to be formal enough (ie, I wasn't the doormat they expected me to be). And on the more informal sites some jumped down my throat when I appeared too formal. Luckily, though, I've reached a happy balance here on this site. I'm glad that I found it, because I feel more at home than at any other site.

I've not been here long but everyone here does seem amazing and really lovely :)

Also, I'm kinda new to all of this; and I've never had any proper r/l experience in it, but just stick around a see what you learn.

The people here know an awful lot and they're easy to talk to; if you don't know what you're into, like me hehe, and you're unsure about it all and don't know much about it, then it's a perfect place to be!

I've been interested in this lifestyle for some years now & still have no desire to go 'hard core' We're all different & I see nothing wrong with a bit of gentle D/s & light bondage.

When I first stumbled upon the D/s side of bondage, I was fortunate to have an experienced sub as a dear friend (still do in fact) & learnt a lot from her.

My first girl was a lot more experienced than I was too.

I agree with Oz- if you look around it shouldn't be hard to find an experienced sub who'd be more than happy to guide you along the way- it would be a mutually beneficial relationship.

There are some of the loveliest girls I've ever known, right here on this forum.

It's refreshing to see a prospective Dom admit that he doesn't know it all- I sure as hell don't & never will.

sisterhoney61
I bet you were at Co**ar Me. Large site and not much knowledge there. They think that you have to be a control freak to be a Dom