There has been a lot of talk around recently about munches so I have put a guide together to explain what a munch is, how to organise one and the guidelines you should follow to ensure that the event goes off as intended whilst ensuring everyone's safety & privacy.
What's a Munch?
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A munch is a social gathering held in a bar or function room where people can get together to put faces to names and where newbies can ask questions of the more experienced lifestylers. Typically it is a 'no play' evening as the venue will not allow public displays of sexual activity or lewdness but there are always 'Afters Parties' somewhere or you can visit a local club or party back in your hotel with people who have taken your fancy.
You'll find organised BDSM Munches in your local area via the search engines. Usually they are organised by one or two people who are well known members of the community in your area. The venue is kept secret between the organisers and those who have been invited both before and after the event. Organisers will usually only give out the exact location information to those who are invited just a few days before the event.
Getting an invite most likely involves getting registered on the forum and PMing to the organiser asking to be invited, or by being vetted by someone you know who attends - it's that simple.
A Munch is open to all - couples, singles, Gay, Bi, CDs, etc., there are no limits. .
Munches are a great way to finally meet all those people you've did know exsisted - and then who knows where it might lead!
Dress Code:
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Come as you dare, basically. In some cases where the venue owners may not be aware that we are lifestylers or if we only have part of the venue available to us and members of the public may be in the vicinity of the munch you may be asked to tone down your dress code. It's a common sense approach and we're all adult enough to act accordingly.
Fancy organising a Munch?
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Firstly, does anyone in the lifestyle in your area know you? You will have to be known as an active member in the lifestyle before people can trust you to organise a Munch properly. Remember, people travel all over the country to attend these and spend a lot on travel and hotel costs. They won't do that to attend yours if you are not known. Also, you should be a good organiser and make sure you have enough spare time to do it properly.
Where will I hold it?
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The Munch needs to be held in a private function room, or separate bar area of somewhere like a pub or social club. It should have its own bar area, and be separate from the 'general public' bar, preferably with its own toilets, and area for disco and buffet (if you chose to put a buffet on). Perhaps consider trying to persuade the landlord to close the pub to the general public and fill the place with us! Whatever you do, the idea is to separate as far as possible your member guests from the general public.
Security and Discretion
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You should take into account members' security and discretion when choosing the people to provide the disco and control of access. Many very successful Munches have had these services provided by people they know personally.
How do I get this started?
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Having found a suitable venue, explain to the owner what you hope to do and discuss things like buffets, DJs, control of access, disabled access and private party status. Does the owner know about BDSM? If he/she does, then be open with them about who will be attending. If not, perhaps book it as a birthday party.
Is there a cost involved?
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We all love a freebie, but you may incur costs for buffets, DJs, hire of the room, door/bar staff, etc. Most munches are free but However, we don't expect you to be out of pocket either! Don't just think of a number and say you'll keep the balance or give it to a charity. Work out costs per head. In the past it's been OK to 'pass a hat round' as the only source of income for the night, to put towards the cost of bar/door staff or the DJ. OK, but don't do it several times during the night for each category. Once and once only.
The last time I helped organize a munch we did a raffle in the evening to help cover costs... and all the raffle prizes were donated LOL
Afters Parties
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Any Munch organised for BDSMer's who occasionally like to 'play' with each other, although this is not what Munches are about, they are just for meeting people in a relaxed, no pressure environment. So, while it's perfectly reasonable that people might want to arrange for something else to happen afterwards, this is not to be part of the Munch and must not be arranged in the same thread as the Munch - nor can the separate threads be hyper-linked to each other. Any afters party will most likely be private, and therefore entrance is not guaranteed and groups can be restricted. There may be an entrance fee involved and it may be held in a club, which newbies may not feel comfortable about. A Munch and any afters parties that may be organised are totally different to each other by their very nature and intent, which is why we want to keep an element of separation between the two on the site also. Munches should not just be treated as 'feeders' to afters parties!
Who do I allow to go?
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Rule of thumb is regular and current members of the community. As mentioned earlier about newbies, as long as they have been vetted by another member or have personally contacted the organizer then there is generally no problems.... we were all new once smiles. As the organiser, you decide your 'cut-off' date for the munch and you will need to keep within the capacity limit of the venue After all, as we said above, Munches give the newer members a chance to meet and ask questions of more experienced members in a relaxed and neutral environment.
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My local munch is every 1st sunday of every month and is held in the local Wetherspoons pub between the hours of 1pm and 5pm. what happens afterwards is up to you. we also have a kinks evening at the local gay club every 4th monday where there is a guest speaker and demostrations (i think last months one was a demo and safety with the violet wand).
There is also a "dungeon master/mistress" to greet you at the door and to make sure that you have been vetted etc and is also on hand to make sure that everyone is safe and is ok. They act like a kind of bouncer lolol.
I hope this helps
cg
