How to get BF more into it? I want to be pushed.

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04-30-2004
usedHil25

How to get BF more into it? I want to be pushed.

Hi.

I am new to this forum, although I have occasionally checked here a few times. Sorry, but this may be a bit long. I have a tendancy ot typing too much.

I am F, currently in a relationship with my BF, who from time to time takes a Dom position with me & has me as a sex-slave instead of a gf. I personally have become very willing & love it. However, I find some frustration in him maybe pushing more of his creativity on me. I think because we have a relationship he isnt full out exploring what his mind can think of. I recently had a chance to explore outside of being with him & found that guys, can be much more dominant & forcefull than he has been & I KNOW he can be more forceful, he has written about more harsh & daring things, yet he seems to ease off with doing them to me.

He was my first sexual experience only about 6-8 months ago of any type & we quickly jumped into a BDSM lifestyle, but lately he hasnt extended it more or pushed newer ideas. Hes had me tied & whipped & clamped with a variety of things. Hes had me electroed a bit, had me pleasure other females & dance & strip for other guys. Hes used me for sex without caring if I came or not many times, but I know he can do more & want him to do more. I keep telling him he can do whatever he wants with me, but he doesnt seem to push very far & I am getting frustrated.

Even moreso now after I was recently treated like a meaningless sextoy by a group of guys that I met up with. At the time I was just meeting up with what I assumed was one guy for sex, nothing crazy. It was my idea, that my BF had agreed to, since I willingly let him fuck others, so I went along looking for a guy to fuck, as I had never had this oppourtunity, even though he has & still does freuquently. It soon turned itno 6 & turned into more than just a little fucking. Even though at time I was scared & hurting, I did it, accepted it & handled it by myself. After that though, I realized Joe was not using me to my fullest potential. I also realized at that point, I want much much more as far as humiliation, pain & torture can go. Problem is if I told him what these guys did to me, it might scare him a little & he may not be so willing as to let me look elsewhere nextime on my own. But I want him to try using me as much as they did. Joe has a couple friends who want me bad & he knows I have an interest in them too. He has slowly started letting me share myself. So I will probably get to play with them eventually & I know one of them thinks exactly like Joe does, so I am hoping he will treat me as that gang of guys did since I dont have an emotional attachment to him. Whereas before I was "his", even though he could fuck others. So he is getting a little bolder in letting me play with others, but I want HIM to play with me the way they do. What can I do? Its not like hes a complete stick-in-the-mud. In fact before we got together, if he had told me the type of things hes done to me now, I woulda ran away screaming as I was very much a frigid goody-goody. But now hes awoken the slut or "fucktoy" inside of me & he just isnt doing enough to satisfy my need to be used. HOW can I push him more, I know hes got it in him, he can tell stories about it, but he seems almost scared of hurting me or doesnt want to push me too much. Whatever it is, its damn frustrating.

Hil.
04-30-2004
Barton

Check this thread.

usedHil25
There is a thread that is having a discussion sort of about this very subject (The pushing the boundaries part.). I think it is called "breaking".
Barton.
04-30-2004
Garmonbozia

Hil

It sounds very much to me as if your boyfriend, do you not identify him as your Master, may not be treating you as harshly as you would like because he has an emotional attachment to you. Dom's can sometimes wage a little war with themselves when they have deep feelings for their subs. (eg. I love this girl so how can I hurt her so).

What you have to do is to show him that it is a deepseated need of yours to be treated this way. That your desire to be dominated and degraded so deeply comes from within yourself not from any external source he may not trust. You have to trust him and his judgement during a scene so talk to him and trust to his judgement in this.

It also sounds like you need a little more discipline. Do not forget that you are the submissive in the relationship. You should not be pushing or demanding things of your Dom. That is not to say that you cannot talk to him but you should not be demanding harsher treatment. If he can recognise your need and is willing to provide it then I hope for your sake he will.

There are so many maybes in a situation like this. Maybe he thinks you are going a little too fast, and 8 months is very fast to go from a virgin to a harsh BDSM lifestyle. Maybe he simply is not into the harsher side of things, there are as many different levels of BDSM as there are Doms and subs - remember just because someone can tell stories about something or fantasise about something does not mean that they are capable or even willing to do those things in reality.

So my advice would be to talk with your Dom, about your relationship, your limits, his reluctance, your rapid blossoming, your needs, his needs and many other things besides. But remember to be respectful of his needs and feelings - men have them too you know. You would never believe how quickly a man can turn into a rock when he thinks he is being forced into doing something or manipulated by a woman, even more so on our lifestyle.

And remember the three most important things for a sub to develop for her Dom are obedience, respect and honesty. You should not keep secrets from your Dom. He may be (there are those maybes again) picking up on some small signals you are giving him and his trust of you has diminished. Most Doms would never push their subs into a harsh situation if they did not fully trust them. He needs to be able to trust you and your reactions and responses so he can safely gauge the situation. Your Dom should be in control and to be in control successfully he needs all the information.

My personal opinion is that you need more training before starting down that golden road into harsh BDSM, though it seems you've already started. It is very easy to start down that road but very hard to stop or return once a certain point is reached. I hope everything works out for you and would love to hear how it goes. But try to read as much as you can and get as many opinions as you can. I think the opinion of a longterm sub would be invaluable to you.

Jason

PS. You're not the only one who gets carried away typing.

PPS. I am intrigued to know how old you are.
04-30-2004
BDSM_Tourguide

I'm intrigued to know what part of Western Canada?
05-01-2004
Curtis

In another thread she said she was 25.
05-02-2004
usedHil25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Curtis

In another thread she said she was 25.

someone has a good memory.
05-02-2004
usedHil25

Quote:

Originally Posted by BDSM_Tourguide

I'm intrigued to know what part of Western Canada?

I prefer to keep my exact location a secret, but I will say I am one province to the west of you.
05-02-2004
fetish101

Quote:

Originally Posted by usedHil25

I prefer to keep my exact location a secret, but I will say I am one province to the west of you.

lol..there isn't too many provinces to the west of TG and I...
05-02-2004
usedHil25

Quote:

Originally Posted by sugeneg

Hil

It sounds very much to me as if your boyfriend, do you not identify him as your Master, may not be treating you as harshly as you would like because he has an emotional attachment to you. Dom's can sometimes wage a little war with themselves when they have deep feelings for their subs. (eg. I love this girl so how can I hurt her so).

What you have to do is to show him that it is a deepseated need of yours to be treated this way. That your desire to be dominated and degraded so deeply comes from within yourself not from any external source he may not trust. You have to trust him and his judgement during a scene so talk to him and trust to his judgement in this.

It also sounds like you need a little more discipline. Do not forget that you are the submissive in the relationship. You should not be pushing or demanding things of your Dom. That is not to say that you cannot talk to him but you should not be demanding harsher treatment. If he can recognise your need and is willing to provide it then I hope for your sake he will.

There are so many maybes in a situation like this. Maybe he thinks you are going a little too fast, and 8 months is very fast to go from a virgin to a harsh BDSM lifestyle. Maybe he simply is not into the harsher side of things, there are as many different levels of BDSM as there are Doms and subs - remember just because someone can tell stories about something or fantasise about something does not mean that they are capable or even willing to do those things in reality.

So my advice would be to talk with your Dom, about your relationship, your limits, his reluctance, your rapid blossoming, your needs, his needs and many other things besides. But remember to be respectful of his needs and feelings - men have them too you know. You would never believe how quickly a man can turn into a rock when he thinks he is being forced into doing something or manipulated by a woman, even more so on our lifestyle.

And remember the three most important things for a sub to develop for her Dom are obedience, respect and honesty. You should not keep secrets from your Dom. He may be (there are those maybes again) picking up on some small signals you are giving him and his trust of you has diminished. Most Doms would never push their subs into a harsh situation if they did not fully trust them. He needs to be able to trust you and your reactions and responses so he can safely gauge the situation. Your Dom should be in control and to be in control successfully he needs all the information.

My personal opinion is that you need more training before starting down that golden road into harsh BDSM, though it seems you've already started. It is very easy to start down that road but very hard to stop or return once a certain point is reached. I hope everything works out for you and would love to hear how it goes. But try to read as much as you can and get as many opinions as you can. I think the opinion of a longterm sub would be invaluable to you.

Jason

PS. You're not the only one who gets carried away typing.

PPS. I am intrigued to know how old you are.

I had written a long reply to this, BUT the computer timed me out or something & I lost it all.

So to sum it up, I see what you are saying & will take it to consideration.

Thanks.
05-02-2004
usedHil25

Quote:

Originally Posted by fetish101

lol..there isn't too many provinces to the west of TG and I...

true, but it is still a LARGE province & narrowing down an exact location is easier said than done.
05-03-2004
Katmandu

Jealous!

Sooooo, is that why there seems to be such a large Canadian contingent in here? Hee Hee......trying to stay warm on all those cold nights.....
HEY! I want to come to Canada!!!
05-03-2004
BDSM_Tourguide

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katmandu

HEY! I want to come to Canada!!!

So come on up. We Canadians are perverts.
07-30-2004
hongcouver12

Quote:

Originally Posted by usedHil25

true, but it is still a LARGE province & narrowing down an exact location is easier said than done.

hmm... not sure if you still venture thru here usedhil.

Where exactly are you & care to tell us (me specifically) more about your "treated like a meaningless sextoy by a group of guys"??

thx.
07-31-2004
allalone46

He may not be as sadistic as U want

Hello. I read this little thread and came up with a thought. usedHil25's B/f Master may not be as sasiatic as she may want, or believes him to be. And that is why in her believe he is holding back, but in reality he isn't, his just can't be hard enough. That or he loves her to much to do a proper job of working on her. Just a thought.
07-31-2004
Mobius

The Bottom line is he care's for you and does not want to treat his charished G/f as a "meaningless sex toy"

Be very carefull in what you wish for. You may get it, and find out that is not what you realy want.
12-05-2004
usedHil25

well, I know they say better late than never.

So, to let any of you that may have wondered :what ever happened here"... well here is a breif rundown.

He at first begrudginly did as I suggested. But didnt get into it a lot, so I got disinterested in him a bit.

Then we broke up breifly. Got back together 2 months later.

Then we worked slowly towards what I was looking for. He couldnt seem to get tough enough with me. I suggested "help" (aka... getting someone to come in & show him how it should go). He said no at first, but eventually caved in & took the chance. He let his friends come over one weekend & "show him the ropes" on me. I had to have him tied up, so he could only watch & he sat there & watched them fuck me, force me to suck cocks, whip me to the point my tits, ass & inner thighs were red, swollen & bruised. They poures countless liquids on me, making my cringe, scream & cry. It was hell & heaven at once. After the weekend was over. I asked him if he got the idea more (& honestly I thought the guys coulda done much more, but they were still more forceful & cruel than he had been). Since then hes been considerably more forceful & on occasion I would say hes exceeded almost any other time I've encountered being in the position of being a sex toy/slave. Outside of the gangbanging I took when I was first looking outside of our relationship, hes probably been the best of anyone now at using me to my limits & occasionally past it.

I just thought I would come in here & leave a follow up incase others wondered.

If I have the time tonight, or in the near future, maybe I'll type out a summary of how hes used me in the past while.
01-13-2005
hongcouver12

Quote:

Originally Posted by usedHil25

well, I know they say better late than never.

So, to let any of you that may have wondered :what ever happened here"... well here is a breif rundown.

He at first begrudginly did as I suggested. But didnt get into it a lot, so I got disinterested in him a bit.

Then we broke up breifly. Got back together 2 months later.

Then we worked slowly towards what I was looking for. He couldnt seem to get tough enough with me. I suggested "help" (aka... getting someone to come in & show him how it should go). He said no at first, but eventually caved in & took the chance. He let his friends come over one weekend & "show him the ropes" on me. I had to have him tied up, so he could only watch & he sat there & watched them fuck me, force me to suck cocks, whip me to the point my tits, ass & inner thighs were red, swollen & bruised. They poures countless liquids on me, making my cringe, scream & cry. It was hell & heaven at once. After the weekend was over. I asked him if he got the idea more (& honestly I thought the guys coulda done much more, but they were still more forceful & cruel than he had been). Since then hes been considerably more forceful & on occasion I would say hes exceeded almost any other time I've encountered being in the position of being a sex toy/slave. Outside of the gangbanging I took when I was first looking outside of our relationship, hes probably been the best of anyone now at using me to my limits & occasionally past it.

I just thought I would come in here & leave a follow up incase others wondered.

If I have the time tonight, or in the near future, maybe I'll type out a summary of how hes used me in the past while.

thank you for the follow up UsedHil.

I'd (& probably others) would love to hear some of the encounters you & him have had. Or you & his friends.

Once again, I ask, where exactly in BC are you?