What a Daddy is...

Lot's of people misunderstand the meaning of "Daddy-Dom". No, i do not have incest fantasies myself, nor do i particularly like "Lolita". So here is my own explanation of what a Daddy-Dom is to me:

“Daddy.” It’s sort of strange to call your Fiancé that. Or at least most people would think so. A lot of people in fact would think that it was disgusting and wrong. But they don’t know what a Daddy is. No, not a father. Everyone has one of those …or at least almost everyone. But very few people are lucky enough to have a Daddy.

A Daddy is special. A Daddy loves you unconditionally. He always wants what is best for you. He is a teacher and a protector. He is proud of you when you do well, and disappointed when you fail. A Daddy loves His little girl, and always wants her to be the best she can be. He strives to encourage her to be better and better and to achieve more and more. To follow her dreams, to believe in herself, to be honest, to improve herself in every way. And He is proud of His little girl for every accomplishment that she makes, big or small. He also has to discipline you when you don’t listen or do as you're told. He has to punish you when you misbehave so that you don’t make the same mistake again. He has to do it because He loves His little girl and He wants her to be the best she can be.

i never thought that i would have a Daddy, since my real father died when i was only three months old, and my adoptive father was very abusive. So i never really thought that i would have a Daddy-Dom. That’s probably part of why i love having my Daddy so much. i never had it from my real father or my adoptive father growing up so it sort of fills that empty spot in my heart that needs the love and guidance of a Daddy, the kind i had never known.

i have a Daddy now, and although He didn’t realize at first that He was a Daddy, i always knew. Now He knows it and loves hearing me call Him Daddy. i love my Daddy, my Master, my Fiancé, my Best Friend JC and i hope He always stays true to who He really is inside.

i am so happy that i have my Daddy to love, protect, and guide me, and to show me how to be a better person. my Daddy’s praise makes me glow with happiness, but when i disobey Him it makes me so sad i could cry because i never want to disappoint my Daddy. i want to show my Daddy that i am worthy of His praise, that He can be proud of me. i want Him to be proud of me. No... i NEED him to be! When i hear Him say “Good girl” i feel as if i could burst with happiness, because i know that He is proud of me and that i have pleased Him. And i want nothing more than to please Him and to have Him be proud of me. It's amazing how much those two little words mean to me... When i hear them i feel as if i am floating high amongst the clouds. That is how much my Daddy’s praise means to me, and when He calls me His “precious little one” i soar even higher.

i live for my Daddy’s praise, i live to hear Him call me His little girl and it feels like a part of me dies when i anger or disappoint Him. i wish i could always be good, and that i was always deserving of my Daddy’s praise. Though sometimes i wonder if i am deserving of it at all, and sometimes i wonder what i did to deserve such a wonderful Daddy. Sometimes i wonder if i’m worthy of His love and guidance, but then He hugs me and calls me His little girl and suddenly that fades away and all i can think of is how much i love Him and want to please Him. Somehow at that moment it doesn’t matter what i did to deserve Him, only that i do everything to show Him what He means to me and that i prove to Him that i AM worthy of His praise and that He CAN be proud of me.

i love my Daddy so much and i just want Him to be proud of me and to know how much i love Him. i want to be the best submissive, the best little girl, the best person i can be, so that my Daddy will have more reasons to be proud. So that others will see it too and know what a good Daddy i have that He has taught me so well. i want others to praise my Daddy the same way He praises me. i want to show everyone that i have the best Daddy in the world. my Master, my Fiancé, my Best Friend... JC.

Oh! Master is a Daddy-Dom <3 I love Master so very much. I'm so lucky to have found him XOXO :bondage:

-DP

I like the idea- though my own dom used to be very grumpy indeed when I called him daddy.

Admittedly, that's probably because I used to do it in supermarkets and such to embarrass him. Not model subbie behaviour, but I'm far from a model sub. -chuckle- I did melt when he called me his boi, though...mmmm.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by slave_kitten{A.N}

A Daddy is special. A Daddy loves you unconditionally. He always wants what is best for you. He is a teacher and a protector. He is proud of you when you do well, and disappointed when you fail. A Daddy loves His little girl, and always wants her to be the best she can be. He strives to encourage her to be better and better and to achieve more and more. To follow her dreams, to believe in herself, to be honest, to improve herself in every way. And He is proud of His little girl for every accomplishment that she makes, big or small. He also has to discipline you when you don’t listen or do as you're told. He has to punish you when you misbehave so that you don’t make the same mistake again. He has to do it because He loves His little girl and He wants her to be the best she can be.

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I won't argue with anything you say. However, I will point out that the quoted paragraph defines a father very well also.

*claps heartily* I've been discovering My Daddy Dom side.. and I have to admit I love it. I love being a Daddy and I hope someday I can find a sweet little girl of My own to love and care for. Wonderful Post!

Im also into DAddy/babygirl relationships, which is a new thing for me. Ive only meet one Daddy in real life and i really enjoyed it, even tho he was/is a dickhead Lol..
anyway i enjoyed seeing the light in his face when we were together, when ever i did something that made him proud of me, almost like when a sub has done a great thing that pleases her Dominant partner, i never thought of it as being an incest type of relationship but more of a loving between two consenting adults who happen to like to r/p Daddy/babygirl LOL .

Never really thought of myself this way, guess my little pet just brings it out in me.

Yay for daddies! *ggls* I have this in my journal which I found on another site. I have no idea who wrote it.

"A daddy dom is a male type dominant person who has a strong fathering urge, the counter part of the mother hen syndrome I would believe. However, in D/s, when the daddy dom takes a submissive, he treats her rather like a little girl. He guides, teaches and offers her what she needs most of all, unconditional love and acceptance.

In my view, a daddy dom is the most tender of dominants. He loves his little girl with an unwaivering and passionate love that is timeless. His little girl is his sunshine, the bright spot in his life. He wants nothing more than to pull her close and protect her from the cruel world, but knowing he cannot, he guides and teaches her, helping her to be ready for this world. Then, he waits, knowing she will run to him when she becomes overwhelmed and scared by the harshness of it all.

The daddy dom always has his little girl's best interest in mind. He will help her set and reach goals. He will help her improve herself to be the best she can be, not for him but for herself, and yes, he will even, at times, punish her. This will no doubt break his heart, but he will always do what's best for her.

The daddy dom gains as much joy and excitement from his little girl's daily accomplishment as she herself does. His pride in her shows in the tender, loving way he cares for her. She has put that twinkle in his eye.

The daddy dom listens to all her fears and concerns, knowing no matter how silly or childish they may sound to him, to her they are real, and he will help her confront them. He slays her dragons so to speak, and he is her hero for it.

The daddy dom hears all her dreams and desires and all the dirty little secrets and smiles because she is bold enough and loves him enough to open herself up so totally to him, and he kisses her face and holds her close, letting her know she is loved no matter what. She is his little girl, and he loves her unconditionally. Even if during scening he brings her great pain to release her pleasures (admit it, some like it, so hush now), he will cuddle her and show her the tenderness she craves when she needs it. When she feels unsure of herself, he will whisper encouraging words for her. When she feels ugly, he will reassure her how beautiful she is to him. When she is scared, he will be her saftey, her medium against the world if need be. Even though she is all woman, she is his little girl, and he is her daddy!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Flaming_Redhead

Yay for daddies! *ggls* I have this in my journal which I found on another site. I have no idea who wrote it.

"A daddy dom is a male type dominant person who has a strong fathering urge, the counter part of the mother hen syndrome I would believe. However, in D/s, when the daddy dom takes a submissive, he treats her rather like a little girl. He guides, teaches and offers her what she needs most of all, unconditional love and acceptance.

In my view, a daddy dom is the most tender of dominants. He loves his little girl with an unwaivering and passionate love that is timeless. His little girl is his sunshine, the bright spot in his life. He wants nothing more than to pull her close and protect her from the cruel world, but knowing he cannot, he guides and teaches her, helping her to be ready for this world. Then, he waits, knowing she will run to him when she becomes overwhelmed and scared by the harshness of it all.

The daddy dom always has his little girl's best interest in mind. He will help her set and reach goals. He will help her improve herself to be the best she can be, not for him but for herself, and yes, he will even, at times, punish her. This will no doubt break his heart, but he will always do what's best for her.

The daddy dom gains as much joy and excitement from his little girl's daily accomplishment as she herself does. His pride in her shows in the tender, loving way he cares for her. She has put that twinkle in his eye.

The daddy dom listens to all her fears and concerns, knowing no matter how silly or childish they may sound to him, to her they are real, and he will help her confront them. He slays her dragons so to speak, and he is her hero for it.

The daddy dom hears all her dreams and desires and all the dirty little secrets and smiles because she is bold enough and loves him enough to open herself up so totally to him, and he kisses her face and holds her close, letting her know she is loved no matter what. She is his little girl, and he loves her unconditionally. Even if during scening he brings her great pain to release her pleasures (admit it, some like it, so hush now), he will cuddle her and show her the tenderness she craves when she needs it. When she feels unsure of herself, he will whisper encouraging words for her. When she feels ugly, he will reassure her how beautiful she is to him. When she is scared, he will be her saftey, her medium against the world if need be. Even though she is all woman, she is his little girl, and he is her daddy!

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That's really interesting... I never thought of that before, which is rather funny since that sounds, in part, like my Master. I would never refer to him as Daddy, but we chose a Master/pet relationship over a Master/slave one because of the care aspect. He really enjoys (and I'm not complaining either ;)) taking care of me like you would a pet, training and bathing and feeing me... caring for me, dressing me up, sometimes indulging me, laying with and petting me like a pet. Pets are often their Masters' best friends ^_^

So thank you for this insight into the "Daddy Doms" as they're being referred to. Very cool and enlightening.

I really loved when you read this to me. You mean SO much to me and I really AM proud to have you as my precious little girl. I love you too, Angel! **Hug**

Hmm... I've been a Daddy and a Father to 3, and now I'm Dom to a couple. Some subbies need a Daddy, while others are looking more for a partner and supportive guide.

I believe (as has been mentioned) that most good Doms have qualities of both, and take the time to learn what their subbies need.

It's the wannabees, the abusers, and the "you will respect me because I am a Dom and I don't have to earn it" types who won't... and who seem to hurt more than they help.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by slave_kitten{A.N}

[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"]Lot's of people misunderstand the meaning of "Daddy-Dom". No, i do not have incest fantasies myself, nor do i particularly like "Lolita".

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As a writer, I have to pop in and say this in defense of one of my all time favorite authors ever, Nabokov.

In "Lolita", Humbert Humbert tells the story. He is the narrator.

If a man had sex with a 12 year old girl and told you that she seduced him, would you believe him? It's actually a very common claim for pedophiles to make. You aren't meant to believe Humbert Humbert any more than you would believe any such man. There are huge clues in that book to just how much damage that man has done to that little girl.

Nabokov uses a literary technique in this story called a suspect narrative or a dubious narrative. It is a work of genius and people really misapprehend it because they take Humbert Humbert at his word.

Hijack over.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Agent.Neo{s_k}

I really loved when you read this to me. You mean SO much to me and I really AM proud to have you as my precious little girl. I love you too, Angel! **Hug**

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i love being your littleone and I love having you as my Daddy i could never ask for more... i also love that quote Only in your bonds do i truly know freedom ... becouse it is so true... only when i am with you...only when i am able to serve you do i truly feel free. i hope you know how very much you mean to me Daddy i love you with all of my heart and soul.

The Most Tender of Dominants
(Written by MasterDarkWhip)

I have decided to use this particular essay to discuss the distinct attributes and aspects of the daddy dominant, as a special request from various list members and because I am actually partial to this specific type of dominant in some respects. Previously, I had written an article on this topic months ago, but I seem to have lost it in the archiving process. I have decided to rewrite this essay.

The first thing I want to do, is dispel any notions or misconceptions about the relationship between daddy dominants and their special subs. It has nothing to do with incest, age play, or any closeted desires or fetish for, or with children. Nor is it about a father-daughter relations, in fact, there is nothing about this type of relationship that resembles anything about their father for the little-girl subs, whatsoever. In this dominant's opinion, a daddy dominant is the most tender of all dominants. He loves and adores his submissive with a true, eternal passion. A daddy dominant has his sub's best interest in mind, even when it conflicts with his own personal desires. This does not denote that he surrenders to her every demand. There can be immense differences between the submissive's desires and her real needs. The daddy dominant has to be prepared to sacrifice for her, if needed, and yes, at times he does punish his submissive when needed, which generally hurts him just as much, if not more, than her. The daddy dominant will always do what is best for his submissive charge.
The daddy dominant always helps his submissive to set and attain goals in life. He will strive diligently to help her improve herself to be the best she can be, not for himself, but for her. The daddy dominant is not only looking to make her a better submissive, but a better person overall. He has multiple roles in her life. He is a mentor, a teacher, a protector, a guide, and most of all, a lover. The daddy dominant offers to his submissive what she needs most of all, which is unconditional love and acceptance. He must maintain consistency in his actions towards his sub, so that she always knows what to expect from him, and having the confident knowledge she can always depend upon him. The daddy dominant desires nothing more than to pull his dear submissive close and protect her from a world that is seen to be bent on cruelty, but knowing all along that he cannot.
So it is up to the daddy dominant to prepare his little sub for whatever life may throw her direction, and to always be there for her when things go wrong, knowing that she will run to him when she becomes frightened or overwhelmed by the stress of life can issue. The daddy dominant will always listen to all his submissive's fears and concerns, and will help her confront them, thus slaying her dragons, if you please.
The daddy dominant will cuddle his special submissive and show her immense tenderness when needed. When she is unsure or uncertain of herself, he will whisper words of encouragement to her. When she feels ugly or unwanted, her daddy dominant reinforces and reassures she is beautiful. When she feels scared or nervous, he is her safety net.
For the daddy dominant, his submissive is the pride, joy, and main comfort of his life. There are really no large contrasts between daddy dominants versus their regular or sadistic counterparts. The daddy dominant's sub may be the twinkle of his eye, but she is definitely all woman! And he may be a daddy, but he is still, first and foremost, a dominant! The daddy dominant has to be able to punish and discipline his submissive when she needs it, and let his consistent actions prove that she cannot wrap her dominant around her little finger, or she will lose respect for him, thus his control over her is severely diminished or hampered. This could be pending doom for the daddy dominant/submissive relationship, or any D/s relationship. We all realize that you cannot have the love without the respect. In that, and other ways, I may or may not have mentioned, a daddy dominant is not different from a regular or sadistic one.
The only true contrast I see is how the love is given and reciprocated in this particular relationship I have discussed. In closing this essay, I hope I have been able to bring some clarity to the misconceptions regarding daddy dominant and his dear submissive relationship, and provided some insight and knowledge on the relationship itself, as well as, some comparisons and contrasts between the regular or sadistic dominant and the daddy counterpart.
I believe that a couple can have love and romance in their BDSM relationship. I feel it gives a chivalrous and bonding aspect to the beautifully dynamic power exchange between a dominant and submissive. I personally define sadomasochism in this respect. It is something that persons or couples engage in as part of a scene or play activity, whereas, D/s is a bonding relationship between a dominant and submissive, a lifestyle, if you will. In a chosen way of life, love, romance, structure, discipline, eroticism; whether it be vanilla sex or SM, I feel that it is all a part of interpersonal relationship. I don't subscribe to loveless BDSM, however, there are those who engage and enjoy loveless sex as those who engage in non-romantic, loveless BDSM in our particular subculture. Speaking for myself, I want the love, passion, and romance that can transcend both vanilla world and our subculture, as the basic concepts like trust and honesty are indicative of all relationships.

Play hard! Be consensual and safe!

Hehe thank you both Flaming_Redhead and Slave_kitten for single handily some how writing up the exact reason I've come here in 1 thread. Job well done.

Also canEHdianMAN nice write up too!

I cherish every moment I spend with my daughter I love her wins, and I feel the sting of her loses. I take great pride in everything she does. And I'm glad that I've now come to really understand and grasp the nature of our relationship, can't wait to surprise her with new things I hope to pick up from here.