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So I think I am going to go to my first munch in a few weeks. I have only briefly talked to the "leader", just the basics, like when and where and such things like that.
I know not a soul there.
I will be going, unfortunatly, by myself. I am very nervous, and very scared.
I have not made my mind up 100%, but I am pretty sure I am going to go.
Any advice for a scared lil girl?
thanks
g
You sound like me.Quote:
Originally Posted by goodgirl_85
I did the same thing a couple years ago. I haven't gone back to one yet. (Just because I'm not so sure that is where I should be - nothing against the people at all, they were very nice).
I was quiet and shy. And I cried a long time on the way home.
Don't ask me why. I have no idea.
But yeah. Good luck.
ok....new to this.............whats a munch?
A munch is when you chew food, usually with a crunching sound. lol
Okay, okay. In the BDSM sense, which I'm sure you're talking about, it's a low-pressure social gathering, usually at a restaurant, where like minds meet and chat about the lifestyle and other things.
Quote:
Originally Posted by blythespirit
Smartass. ;D
If you're not a social person, it might not be your thing to do.
Munches were started close to 20 years ago in the SF Bay area, by STella. There's probably a half dozen regularly scheduled in the bay area. If you know the organizer, expect himmer (him or her) to introduce you to some others in the group. If shehe (she or he) doesn't, then I'd look for another munch group. If the meeting is in a general area of a restaurant, you can find a table close by and just watch for a while.
The scene folks I know are all over the political and professional spectrum. Most are college grads. A lot are libertarians. There's usually a good mix of men and women. There's rarely much in the way of overt behavior to indicate what they are about. A lot of the conversation will be like any other group of adults meeting. Given the election coming up, probably it will dominate the conversation.
Really nothing to be afraid of. Unless you have two heads and are 10 feet tall, you'll fit right in.
Lawrence
One of the ways Ive seen organized groups handle this is to offer an "escort" of sorts for your first munch. The groups Ive known have had one or two people whose responsibility at a munch is to make new people comfortable in the new setting. Typically, they will meet you outside of the munch location (parking lot?) saying " hi, Im so and so from the munch" and offer to literally walk you in, so that youre not completely alone there. Many times, there will also be two or three people there who will offer to sit with you, introduce you around, and make sure that you dont end up in the deep end of the swamp before youre ready. From my experience, these munches are very low pressure events, there's no blatant collars or cuffs, no semi naked subs wandering about, and such. Its just literally a vanilla gathering of people with like minded interests who get together to chat, exchange ideas and generally get comfortable around one another before going to anything like a "play event". In the same way, its also a way for group members to get an eyeball on you and at least see that youre not an axe murderer or a reporter, at least at first glance :)
Hope that this helps you somewhat,
Mr R
Goodgirl, thank you so much for posting this!
I'm thinking about contacting a local group about going to a munch, but it's just a matter of working up the courage, lol.
Anyway, thank you for bringing up something I've been wondering about!
You got a mixed bag of advice, some of which must seem scarey because of the way it was posed... I suggest you search for "munch" in the library and hear the absolutely positive reports several other new-to-munches forum members have had.
angelic zest for one... had exactly the same concerns and nothing but positive things to say about her experience.
I am a hearty endorser of going to munches. Just be yourself, but if you tend to be shy, you should push yourself to talk to at least one person... and let yourself be introduced. You will undoubtedly be welcomed with open arms and made to fee comfortable.
awww hopperboo! i can imagine me doing that too. . . .Quote:
Originally Posted by hopperboo
. . . . it's hard being a sensitive soul ((((((big hugs)))))
angela
:cayvvotg:Hi lil' girl. "Munch" isn't a thing I know much about. But it sounds like a great idea. The fact that it's happening in a "public" place. Makes it quite secure, as it's no danger for to suddenly end up in some kind of scene or game that you don't want to.
Over here we've got clubs and I can assure you that I was very scared the first time I went to one - Back in the 70th BdSm wasn't as accepted as to day.
But my experience are that clubs always are very friendly towards new people and makes sure that they feel accepted and welcome.Even later on when I began to drive around to make Bondage-shows. It's always made sure that I felt welcome.
Most people who use time and energy to get clubs etc. working are by my experience nice and friendly people.
So I can only advice you to go and I'm even sure that yo'll have a good time. Just the fact that you're able to talk to people with the same interest without being looked strange at, is great.
I wish you the best of luck. Hugs
How do you find out about a munch occurence?
I can't imagine it is advertised in the newspaper
Some newspapers advertise, but probably not your daily news. lol
I am sure there's advertisments everywhere on the internet. Just type in bdsm munch and your location. Not sure, i've never tried.
Google it. "bdsm munch" and then decide if you want to add a placename, state, or province, to narrow it down. Or you could scan the 504,000 hits. :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by MissConfused
Well, duh. lol. Isn't that what I said? only saved her the 504,000 hits.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
Oh, this is fun to watch!Quote:
Originally Posted by blythespirit
:rolleyes:
Quote:
Originally Posted by blythespirit
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
If you're gonna quibble blythe... :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by blythespirit
I've never seen a newspaper advertise per se... though I've seen advertisements in newspapers... and I've seen the owners of a newspaper advertise...in newspapers... but a news paper is an inanimate object....
You didn't say to do a search... (probably why I didn't notice your suggestion,) nor even where to type it in the phrase... For example, typing "bdsm munch and your location" into the forum wouldn't do it...
And even if you do google it, typing that whole phrase in gets zero hits. :rolleyes:
You're also presuming I read all the posts before responding... regardless...
Lots of information gets duplicated...
And lastly... "Well duh" ??? Really!! :icon176: sarcasm is so unbecoming in a submissive... :icon176: whereas when I do it, it amuses jeanne.
Hey, you amuses me, too, Mr. Plowman. roflmao. And whilst I hate to admit that you're right, *gags and chokes* you're right a newspaper is inanimate, unless, of course, I roll it up and throw it at you. hehe. Then it flies through the air and we know about flying now don't we? *giggles*Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
I was also of the mind that MC was intelligent enough to know she'd have to do a search so, I saved my little typing fingers for better things. *sticks out tongue, then runs like hell* lol
I apologize to the OP for the slight interruption.
Ozme52 Oh my god you are rightQuote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
I googled BDSM munch in my state and found two dozen hits!
Yer welcome mc.
See blythe!! :rolleyes:
laffin toe hard now....
I love MY group! i stood out but i stood out wonderfully, and they made me feel so welcome and wanted...not all are like this and i know but i had a really good experience and i found me a mentor in the group who is highly recommanded..and a Big Sweetie..and i enjoy my time everytime i get to go to a munch..i love forward to the next one in a few wks...and i hopeflly i get to go to my first dungeon party...*blushes*..
i would say go alone..for alot of us..espeically submissive females/males..its scary..because we are "alone" but mostly everyone there started out as a newbie...either to the group or to the lifestyle, so once we got over that inital shock of being "alone" and no one to talk with..things ususally fall into place.
im all about going to munches, even if large gatherings arent your things..especially if your looking to go into rt..w/o jumping straight into a dungeon or play party...go, experience, explore and meet like minded ppl in the lifestyle...
my first one, the HeadMistress and the Munch Coor. stayed with me and talked to me and made me feel welcome and warned me for protiental predators..who werent that bad but just jump from sub to sub..and i will always remember that!
good luck and i wish you the best hun!!! xoxo