The difference between thinking and knowing.

So I’ve played in the past. I’ve experimented with bondage, blindfolding, and light pain. I know I like that. But my past experiences had no D/s connotation to them. It was just play.

I’m usually a very aggressive person, but I never have been when it came to love interests or sex, I just can’t seem to take that initiative (other than the occasional flirt). I suppose that should have clued me in a bit. I was intrigued by the idea of submitting to someone. Reading about it excited me, daydreaming about it aroused me. I suspected I would really enjoy it. That’s one of the reasons I decided to sign up here.

After I signed up I had the opportunity to speak with a Dom, and that was interesting. I really enjoyed it, but I still didn’t know if this was for me.

Then the other day, I was speaking to Someone, and He said something to me, and my mind went blank. I literally could not think. I just felt goose bumps and thrill up my spine, and of course a gush between my legs. Finally I got my head together and answered. He must have thought I was a dimwit. We continued talking and afterward when I thought about it, I realized – Now I know. This is what I want. I still have a lot to learn, but this is where I want to be. I want to be told what to do, how to perform, to be told what to think while I'm doing it, to be called names. I still have a lot to learn, but this is where I want to be.

That’s not quite right. This may be what I want but this is also what I need.

That's a very powerful experience, isn't it? It happened in a very similar way for me too. A word of praise, on the phone - I caught my breath; my vision actually darkened for a moment. The man I was speaking to didn't think I'd lost my reason, though - he knew exactly what had happened.

We usually do. ;)

i understand what you mean with utmost clarity, as well. i, too have always "played at" light bondage, knowing i relish being dominated, spanked and having light pain inflicted upon me during sex. It wasn't until i met DaddyJim, my Daddy, without knowing we both had more than casual interest in BDSM that the door swung wide open. As we spoke more, and the trust grew, i brought up the subject that i had a collar i enjoyed wearing; He was speechless. We began exploring further and discovered we had the same taste in role identity...He as Daddy, me as lil girl (princess). i researched more and discovered this site to learn from, and the thread "S is for Submissive" jumped out at me. i read the wise words of crazy_grrluk in that post about what / who a sub is and knew instantly that i was finally "home"... joyfully with a Daddy whom i love and trust, implicitly, and who adores me, as well. i have never been more at peace, within myself, in my life.

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Originally Posted by Zarine13

I still have a lot to learn, but this is where I want to be.

That’s not quite right. This may be what I want but this is also what I need.

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That realization - that it's more than just a desire for a little kink in your life, but is a bone-deep need to submit - is the first big step. I'm so happy for you! :)

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Originally Posted by rachel06

That's a very powerful experience, isn't it? It happened in a very similar way for me too. A word of praise, on the phone - I caught my breath; my vision actually darkened for a moment. The man I was speaking to didn't think I'd lost my reason, though - he knew exactly what had happened.

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Originally Posted by Ozme52

We usually do. ;)

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Yes. You always do, milord.

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Originally Posted by Ozme52

We usually do. ;)

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:tounge:

b

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Originally Posted by Zarine13

Then the other day, I was speaking to Someone, and He said something to me, and my mind went blank. I literally could not think. I just felt goose bumps and thrill up my spine, and of course a gush between my legs. Finally I got my head together and answered. He must have thought I was a dimwit.

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Originally Posted by rachel06

A word of praise, on the phone - I caught my breath; my vision actually darkened for a moment. The man I was speaking to didn't think I'd lost my reason, though - he knew exactly what had happened.

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It's so powerful and addictive it's scary, isn't it ladies? And it doesn't take a voice over the phone or something said in person. Just 3-4 voiceless words over a messenger (e.g. "go get your vibe; take off your panties; go put your plug in") by the right man and my mind goes blank, my vision darkens, there's a roaring in my ears, I pop out in goose bumps, my breathing becomes labored, that familiar gush between my legs becomes a river, my nipples go hard as diamonds, my breasts swell, and I just melt into a puddle. Something hits me so strongly I feel like I've been pole-axed. It rushes to the core of me and then slowly spreads up and out, especially up my torso. Even my shoulder blades hurt and ache and need something. It's such a strong jolt of pure, unadultrated lust that sometimes I think I will pass out (and often wonder if I have). And all this time I am (to the extent possible) thinking: "Am I crazy? Why am I so susceptible to this? Is this what being on morphine feels like? Is it as addictive as morphine? Oh God, I can't ever give this up! What kind of idiot are you......wanting even your shoulder blades fucked? You are an out-of -control crazy woman and somebody is going to lock you away." And on and on and on I berate and chastise myself. Like I said in the first sentence: it's damned scary.

DIXIE

Yes, it is, Dixie Lass. Like heroin. The one guy - his voice? I could roll myself up in it. I could swim in it.

Yes Dixie, it's exactly like that! Soooo Addicting!

Zarine13 and Rachel06,

You know, I started thinking about a term I've read about or seen; in fact, I've seen it recently but can't remember where. So, with apologies in advance for plagiarizing:

The perfect description and moniker for what we've been talking about is to just call it "The Voice", which doesn't even have to be audible, the written word works too. And I get the squirming heebie-jeebies right now just thinking about it.

DIXIE

Maybe I'm not sure what you mean, Dixie Lass. I've heard of the Dom Voice, and I've thought that I've heard it, and I will obey it, but I think of the Dom Voice as being more commanding than what I'm thinking of. In this case, it was more seductive, less about sex or about commands.

You know the cartoons where the scent of the pie wafts out of the kitchen and it's visible? and sometimes it wraps itself around the character and pulls him in? This voice was like that - it wrapped me up and took me away somewhere.

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Originally Posted by jeanne

That realization - that it's more than just a desire for a little kink in your life, but is a bone-deep need to submit - is the first big step. I'm so happy for you! :)

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Bone deep.

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Originally Posted by rachel06

Maybe I'm not sure what you mean, Dixie Lass. I've heard of the Dom Voice, and I've thought that I've heard it, and I will obey it, but I think of the Dom Voice as being more commanding than what I'm thinking of. In this case, it was more seductive, less about sex or about commands.

You know the cartoons where the scent of the pie wafts out of the kitchen and it's visible? and sometimes it wraps itself around the character and pulls him in? This voice was like that - it wrapped me up and took me away somewhere.

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I didn't mean to infer that there is only one voice and that all doms use it or that all subs cave to it. I'm sure there's quite a variety. For instance, one brooks no argument, one is forceful, one threatens correction, one is supremely confident, one assumes control, etc., etc. Whatever the adjective or descriptive phrase, they (the different voices) are all seductive in the sense that to seduce means to lead one into temptation or to make the wicked appear attractive. It sounds like the voice that entraps you is a sensual one. My point was that 1.) for each of us, there is "A Voice" that lures us into the tightest, most foolproof net possible and 2.) that our physical responses are so strong, we don't have much of a defense against it. It is what each of us individually "could swim in" or what "wraps us up and takes us away".

And BTW, just how knowledgeable are most doms about this very powerful effect? I'd love to hear some answers from some of them. With the exception of Oz, of course. He seems to know more than enough to be quite dangerous and I think I hear him snickering at us.

Well, Dixie Lass, if they start out ignorant I would assume the first time a woman swoons and gushes after hearing The Voice, they would figure it out. The men I've met were pretty aware. Except for one - his voice was fairly enticing, although not like the man I've mentioned, except when he TRIED to be commanding, and then it was - well, the effect was not what he might have wished.

Learning that personal presence is absolutely key and utilizing vocal tones to reinforce that presence is learned early on by most of the honest-to-the-gods doms I've known over the years. Or at least that's been my experience, others may have had a different growth path. There is a certain high from seeing her eyes dilate and the nostrils flare a bit with just a few words.

Using "The Voice" (for lack of a better term) in various social situations and watching for reactions from femmes that may or may not be vanilla has been a typical fishing technique too.

However, in the interest of full disclosure; being a native southerner with that distinctive regional speech pattern I have met subs that find the "drawl" to be distracting and it doesn't work for them, much to my chagrin.

(edited for pathetic spelling)

But, Dr_BuzzCzar, for every sub who doesn't respond there are probably three who would swoon for that distinctive regional speech pattern in itself; in combination with The Voice it's probably lethal.

I can attest to that, I know I love a man with a nice rich drawl, i can only imagine hearing THAT in a drawl..


*sigh*

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Originally Posted by DIXIE LASS

And BTW, just how knowledgeable are most doms about this very powerful effect? I'd love to hear some answers from some of them. With the exception of Oz, of course. He seems to know more than enough to be quite dangerous and I think I hear him snickering at us.

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Snicker?

I wouldn't dream of snickering... not unless it makes you wet and needy.

But yes, I have had some experience, with written and spoken word both... at achieving the desired orgasmic result.

:cool:

I have recently experienced this difference zarine. I had ALWAYS been interested in BDSM in the bedroom- but it wasn't until recently I considered taking it farther. It was only after meeting my Master in person and getting to experience the idea of something more 24/7 in real life that I *knew* that this is what I wanted- and that I probably can't ever go back.

And in terms of "The Voice"? :-P I normally associate that with a very strong and assertive command- one that makes me feel as though I am truly powerless to do anything but obey. Whenever I "played" with BDSM in the bedroom- I never experienced this because even in a "sub" role I still felt I could always say "no" or "stop". However- with my more recent experience submitting mentally on a 24/7 basis, I've found that commands said in such "Voice" bring out the realization that I really do feel powerless to resist, and hence the reaction.

Rachel- I respond to praise very strongly as well at times, but not normally in the same way. Usually I uncontrollably get a large smile on my face and feel almost overwhelmed with contentment. :-)

Yeah, Veralynne. What does it say about me that I find praise erotic? But it's not praise per se. It's having pleased.

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Originally Posted by rachel06

Yeah, Veralynne. What does it say about me that I find praise erotic? But it's not praise per se. It's having pleased.

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Exactly. :)

Hehehe. Oh don't get me wrong... I will respond to having pleased erotically. Just in terms of what I generally imagined "the Voice" to be, or refer to- was more along the lines of what Dixie Lass mentioned in her first post.

i, too, recently learned the power of "the Voice". While still existing in my vanilla incarnation, i knew i found some men's voices more appealing than others for a myriad of reasons, usually the deeper and more baritone, the better. It wasn't until my beginning this BDSM experience with DaddyJim that i truly understood. For me, all it takes is the mere memory of a command from Him, and i begin to quiver, deep within my gut. During an IM chat while we are apart, He only need imply a command and i feel my nipples stiffen, instinctively lowering my eyes -feeling them get glassy and wide. In person (during play, or a public moment when he simply desires me to respond and rasps a "Daddy said..." softly, against my ear), i hear the timbre of his His low growl, at times little more than a gruff whisper, and it is as though my blood is on fire. His voice elicits SO much more than just my appropriate behavior; It resonates within me on a spiritual level and i am deliciously helpless against it's power over me. i must obey it and do so with euphoric abandon.

It is very easy to have one submit to you but the obligation to that person can be overwellming to say the least it takes more that just saying it. It is very hard to give one completely to another.