How do your guys do it?

For the first time in my life I an in a family with a child in it - I have a stepson, and that is a wonderful thing :-)

BUT - I am used to having my sex life whenever I felt like (and was off duty) and I find it extremely difficult to find any privacy in a family life.

Does anyone out there have children, and how do you manage this?

I don't have children but I am the homecare provider for my mother which makes things kinda hard sometimes as far as bdsm in our house goes.

There is no way in hell I am going to come out about my kink to my ultra conservative mother in what should be her golden years, especially considering she is in poor health.

Its all behind closed doors here. We have to keep things quiet etc just as if we had children.

This doesnt mean we dont have fun, it just means we have to be more discret. Sometimes my mother stays at my sisters and sometimes we restrict our activities to the privacey of our bedroom and or after hours that she is asleep.

Fortunately for the heavy stuff my husband has figured out a way to convert the old garage out back into a sort of dungeon that doesnt look like one when its not in use (its his work shop by day).

Before that it was hotel rooms which gets expensive.

Here are some links where the many members of the Library discussed this very topic before, they are full of some great ideas.

Good luck!




http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...light=children

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...light=children

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...=children+home

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...=children+home

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...=children+home

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...=children+home

I have found myself with stepchildren also, but have been in the relationship for 3 years. It is great but its also difficult, and the older they get the more difficult it gets because you cant just say 'no dear we were just having a tickle fight' and expect them to accept it!

It took me a lot of adjusting, and i still am,there basically is no privacy all i can say is make the most of it after bedtime, get a bathroom lock to put on the inside of your door (allthough never leave it locked obviously for safety reasons) and be aware that if they hear you and their too young to know whats going on then no harm done and if their not they will turn their music up and give you a hard stare in the morning! but who hasnt been through that as a kid! luckily ours sleep like logs.
bottom line, you can never schedule time and expect it to go your way so when you do find that there is a few hours of peace dont let it go to waste! it gets easyer with time trust me.

Thank the lord for video games is what I say.
Yes it can be a pain in the backside having kids, I have one and my mother lives with us as well. But, remember the thrill of sneaking around as a teenager? use it to your advantage and incorporate it, Dad is just going to the supermarket he exits front door, returns through back door, I am off for a bath will you be ok for an hour? and rendevous sorted........
Restrict your childrens viewing of tv and video games..... it guaruntees that they will be glued to it for quite a while when you do let them at it.
lots of private language, looks and code, communicating what is really going on....behind their back.
My sister lives close so we do a swap once a month we get her kids for a sleepover and once a month she has mine ( apparently we like going to the movies) so at least one night a month nobody can hear what we are up to.
It can be a pain but it can add to the excitement and suspense as well.
Good Luck