so, here's the thing. i have a g/f which is actually vanilla, but i want her to know about bdsm and do some more than just a normal one. sometimes, i really want to tie her up and spank her but i was quite afraid she will think that i am a really bad guy. so is there anyone who ever dragged the vanilla into the lifestyle?? and how to do it, thanks before.
A local Master I know said this past weekend that if they respond well to hair pulling, move on to biting, then some rope play and/or light spanking. If you can't get past hair pulling, apologize for accidentally grabbing and chalk it up to a lost cause...
I think dragging is really the wrong word to use there. If she's your girlfriend, and loves you, then you should be able to be open with her, and communicate your wants and desires with her. If she doesn't want to even try (which is horribly closed minded but whatever) then that's that, move on, and concentrate on what you do both like. And if she says she's willing to try then take iot gently and slowly.
BDSM is all about communication, and if you can;t even communicate to her how you feel about things like this, then a BDSM relationship with her just wouldnt be possible.
Whatever you do sit down and talk about it with her first.
Some peoples hard limits start right at the thine line between rough vanillia sex and rich chocolately bdsm lite. lol
I'm not sure you can really drag someone into BDSM.
My personal theory is that bdsm is a lot like mathematics, in that either you have the kind of brain that just grasps it and says 'yes' or that you don't. Now admittedly, it takes education in either case to make the most of your talent, and some people that are wired for kink would never recognise it until they tried it, so maybe that's the case.
But as has been said, communication and starting small are really the ways to go here.
If she shows any interest after all of the above has been tried (communication, gradated play) remember to go slowly. Your appetites are probably far and above any newbie vanilla's (unless you have connected with a closet sub). One botched scene or irresponsible act by you can close the door to playtime permanently. Good luck.