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My wife has asked me to collar her that she wants me to control her.Every part of her.We are married and we already have a great relationship but we want to exspand on it.I want to be a good master and take care of her the way she wants to be.Please give suggestions and any help woube greatly appreciated. thank you
Insane
I think you are the right track with "i dont know how i can be A master without being a student."
That said, when you learn about everything you should keep in mind what you are and are not willing to do. And similarly for her. Just because she claims to be into BDSM doesn't mean she's into every single fetish out there. Most likely just a few ones in specific.
I think most importantly is to understand her emotional needs. This can be simply done by asking her. If you want to be creative, perhaps give her an assignment to write down her feelings about BDSM, and why it's important to her. If you have the mindset that you're willing to learn, like it seems you do, then that should help you identify what she is looking for.
Best of luck!
If you have any more specific questions then respond in this thread with them.
It seems that you're rather new here to the Library...so, read a few threads...get your feet wet. Follow VaAugusta's advice of asking her what's on her mind...doesn't mean you have to give her everything she asks for but at least it'll clue you in on where she stands. ;)
Good luck to you and yours! :)
Comunication is paramount as is respect and trust.
Adding to August"s and Browneyedgirl" ideas of getting the information train rolling: as a slave myself; Ive found it to be much more exciting than any possible writting assignment when getting to know any given dominant, to be told to kneel face down ass up blindfolded and or bound, perhaps told to hold my cheeks open and be "questioned" in a specific manner by the dominant while he or she fools around with me some, or some other such scenario.
Other than that, plan ahead, be safe, sane and consensual first, and kinky second and you should do fine.
Thank you so very much for the information and ideas.
I am away right now and she wants to feel my presence more . She wants to feel like she's pleasing me. So I took the idea of asking her what her dreams and fantasies were. She came back and gave me what I needed to reflect and come up with some tasks for her to do while I'm away. So far I have sent her 2 Emails and the first one she cried and I was worried that I hurt her feelings and she told me no.Its made her very happy.
We love and respect each other very much.I am going to continue with the tasks and sending her pictures and we are using the cam to show that if need be tasks are being done.
Ok questions;
I know i seen this ,but i cant find it. How many subs can a master have ?I'm new to this but I was thinking the Master could have many subs but one of them that the Master was totally devoted to. Is that correct? Any words of wisdom. And by me training her will she eventially find her domme? That was one of the things she wrote to me.
If you trust her so much why do you need to see proof on a cam or a pic? Hummmm?
Besides once you realize that virtutally anyone can farm your cam sessions and pics off your computers...is it all that safe anymore. At the very least I reccomend no recognizable features or face shots. Common sence should prevail.
I was allways tuaght that a dominant should only have as many submissives as he/or she is actually capable of maintaining "wise" dominion over.
Also, nothing says a dominant has to play favorites, though I have often seen multiple submissive holding dominants do so, but I have seen from personal experience that when a new girl is added to a relationship, especially one in which the primary D/s couple is married, one must take great care to not upset the deliquate balance of the hierarchy.
Obviously if the needs of all the members of a relationship are not being met there will be difficulties.
From the sounds of it your both brand new to this and may wish to slow down a bit before you go adding other submissives to the mix ... or dominants for that matter. (yes some submissives have multiple dominants)
When and if you both decide that adding more partners to the equation is wise or desierable you may wish to keep in mind that things should stay mutually safe, sane and consensual for all parties. That includes all parties knowing and approving of all other parties and or their activity levels.
Just curious but why isn't your wife also a member here?
I think that's like asking how many children can a person raise properly. Some people have enough energy and resources for one; some can handle seven. It also depends upon the dynamics of all people involved. My little one needs so much attention that I don't have too much to spare to devote to other subs (I've had temporary subs and an online sub, but they all come second to him and I've made that clear from day one), but I love that; I love how he needs me all the time, every minute. That would drive some other doms crazy. So it really all depends upon your individual personalities.Quote:
How many subs can a master have?
My advice is this: Every now and then, sit yourself down and ask "Am I happy with things how they are?" and then also ask her the same question. If the answer is yes for you both, don't mess with it. Don't change stuff just because you think you're "supposed" to. If the answer is "no", then talk about the reasons why and then decide what you might want to change to increase your happiness. And since people change, you need to ask yourselves this question on a rolling basis.
Thank you. I am very pleased with the help and suggestions I have received.I am currently reading and reflecting on all of the information. I love my wife more then anything .I'm wanting to get a book called different loving. And to denuseri Thank you also so much. I dont use the cam but to communicate and she uses it to please me .I know I didnt say that at first and I'm sorry it is indeed not what I meant. We have a very trusting relationship I have no doubt that she will try her best to accomplish what her Appretice asks. Were human of course and we all fail from time to time and I will be there to help her. Maybe one day I will be able to be called Master . But for now I will be the student and trasfer my learning to my sub. Oh and to why she is not a member here she has been extremely busy and ,but she is a member on fet.