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I am new to this whole thing and I have seen a lot of people looking for online D/s.... I know it can't be the same as "face to face" but is it worth it?
I'm really curious and I just don't want to waste anyone's time.
Any help would be wonderful!!! :o:)
That entirely depends on your expectations. It can be a good way to get to know yourself, try out a few things, get you to think about yourself and your yearnings but of course, as you say yourself, it can never be the same as face to face.Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousubgirl
And then there are many different forms of 'online': Chat and text only, skype, with or without cam. I guess it's a big difference whether you just chat with someone or whether you actually talk to them via webcam.
I'm doing some online D/s with a Mistress, but that's mostly roleplays and writing stories. Still, if I'm in the right frame of mind, it can get quite intense, but it certainly can never replace the real thing with all the sensations.
Yeah, I understand. And unfortunately I am unable to use web cams and have very little time to myself. I am trying to get out of the living situation I am in so that I have more freedom....but PM, email & IM I could do....
Thanks for your input!
You know, you can also go out and meet real people offline. I'd do it that way, if I were you. Shouldn't be too difficult to find munches and events with like minded people where you can get to know them, especially where you live.
Good luck and enjoy!
As was said before it is a great way to get to know yourself and introduce yourself to new fetishes or things you might not have tried. It was great for me starting out and I still play online although I have an IRL Master whom I am engaged to. I learned a lot about obedience: being honest is important in an online relationship especially if you will be punished if you couldn't or wouldn't do something. Ultimately it is up to you whether you will obey or not and it helped be to become a better submissive and pet for my Master.
Is it worth it? Does it get "it" done?
Depends on how good your dominant is. Does he give good vocabulary? ;)
As much as I've tried to understand this side of BDSM, I just don't get it. I struggle with phone sex though, so its prob just me. I am capable of dirty talk threw the phone or computer, but I don't really get turned on by it. There are a few stories that I've read on here that have made me a little aroused, but as far as doing it full time, I would be a crappy on-line sub. I'd lose interest way too quick.
I respect those that do participate in on-line play, though. Different strokes for different folks. Happy playing all!!
Until one is convinced about their own self and the person with whom they are in touch with, online conversation and play is the best, secured and I guess only way to proceed. Once a person attains enough courage and confidence to respect their own willingness to submit in real, online plays become redundant.
Online play has been "getting it done" for me, for nearly a year, now. As Oz said, it may depend on your dominant, but it can work. It can also be wonderfully, deliciously satisfying.
If your mind will take you there it can be well worth it...If you are honest with your play...not only to your partner but more important to yourself.....If you are thinking about the dishes or the kids screaming or what to wear tomorrow...then no dont bother to play on-line.... If you are thinking about what your Dom says and tells you to do....and you do them and give them the proper feed back....they can alter their actions and demands to push you to your desired goal....but if you just respond as you think you are required or as they want ....then you are cheating both of you...and yeah so why bother...I had my pet while wearing nipple and clit clamps in the middle of play go find suitable materials to make her own flogger and then flog herself...she went out and bought a good leather one after that....to this day she still loves the one she made better...hehehe I dont let her play with it...I save it for special occasions....she damn near cums when I tell her to got get the materials... its not the stuff its made of ...In her mind...its that she gets to make it and if it doesnt give her the sensation she is after its because she didn't do it right...but she will tell me and I will adjust our play to compensate and assure she gets the pleasure she deserves....just my experience and thoughts take them for what they are worth use what you can and throw the rest out...Be saft and Play well
online requires a lot of imagination, and an extreme amount of honesty and open-mindedness...but, really, it is what you make of it. does it replace face-to-face? no. the two are not, and never will be, anything alike. but, yes, it can be intense when done right and with the right person. i discovered this the hard way, lol...i was once a skeptic as well.
good luck on furthering your journey.
whisperz
I live in a town where almost all of the Dominants I have met are just...not my type at all. I tried a munch and it was a train wreck and a complete waste of time for me. I have had several online D/s experiences, each one very different. Some were just for fun, others I took very seriously. It took me several years to find the right One. In this relationship, we have progressed over time from getting to know each other to full on M/s. I find it extremely fulfilling and have no doubt that it is a very real relationship. W/we are going to see each other very soon and plan to make time to do so as often as possible. Long Distance is difficult at times, yes, but with communication and the proper attention, it works out beautifully for U/us.
There are people who are able to live this lifestyle 24/7 and that is great for them! Some people, like me, are in a position where that kind of change in their life is not possible right now, so they do what they can to get the fulfillment they need. I am personally a true believer in L/D online relationships, especially in this sense, because there has to be a period of learning each others' minds and techniques, needs, limits, desires and so many other aspects before you can really approach the physical side. I would never physically submit to a Dom I just met and do not know well or trust implicitly. I also believe that there HAS to be a point where you know you will actually see each other in real life, otherwise, what are you working toward?
Trust is a major issue when deciding to enter into an online D/s relationship. There are several posts in the forums regarding "Red Flags" and you should pay close attention to all of the signs as to whether this person with whom you are communicating can really be trusted. You are sharing the most intimate, deepest, darkest secrets about yourself with a complete stranger, and you need to be sure they are indeed who they say they are. There are posts on safety and trust so I won't go into all that here.
My relationship is very healthy and happy, and I do not doubt for a moment the validity of it. It isn't just about playing, sexual satisfaction and fantasies. It's about learning and growth as well. If you are looking for play and thrill, then you can get that just about anywhere with anyone. But if you are looking for a real and fulfilling online relationship, it is all about the amount of time and effort you and your D/s are willing to put into it. Once a week won't cut it. It takes maintenance, just like any other relationship. You have to find a balance that works for you both. Doubt, suspicion and mistrust are all signs that it is time to move on.
To each, his/her own, they say. I know, for this girl, online/phone/email and communication in general are what get it done for her. Master is VERY good at what He does, and there is no doubt in my mind at all that we are in a committed M/s relationship that will last a very long time.
~Master's Muse~
Some people like above just can't find a real live person to do anything... I am have no luck finding a r/l person or even Online for that matter.. but i will just try more I guess...
lexora, you misunderstand me I think. Master is a very real live person. And I am actually going to visit Him in a few weeks. :) This is not a role play game for me. Sometimes, it just takes more work. And it is well worth it in the end! Good Luck!Quote:
Originally Posted by lexora
i think its all up to those involved and as long as you give all of yourself to it then yes it gets it done for sure, i for one have no complaints sure id rather be with my Master in person but i can't right now so this works. Also i came hard 6 times in last nights session and im still smiling, giggling, and floating so yay it works :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by fyre (mastermarine1)
*sighs* ok not like you cant misunderstand me, all i said was just like u it hard to meet people local... not like I said he was fake or anything...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacee
Lucky girl! :) sounds lovely. And I hope your meeting goes very well.
thanks fyre hope yours does as well
fyre,
You summed up my own feelings beautifully.
O/L play is better than nothing.... but it doesn't beat face to face
Something tells me that you've gotten somewhat new and changed thoughts about the topic.... 9 times was it?? Hehehe...Quote:
Originally Posted by Whisperz
Sir Domin8or
lmfao!!! uhhh...*blushing*...yes, i would say that, um, i've actual proof that it can be, uh,....effective, lol!
I am not having the best luck with my r/l local scene right now but I still wouldn't want to go back to online. I had an online relationship that progressed into a r/l long distance relationship and it really almost killed the whole thing for me. You can talk about and imagin all sorts of things but when it comes down to it a lot of the toys doms use take skill and practice to use correctly. So when you finally meet, like in my case, he might have no clue what he is really doing. Also until you really try it it's hard to know if you will like it or not, there are some things I thought I would like that in reality I don't and others I wouldn't have even imagined enjoying as much as I do.
I am very mental in my submissive but the physical aspect takes it to a completely different level. There is so much you cannot do to yourself with just direction.
Did you tell him how to have sex afterwards? People love people who know everything.Quote:
You can talk about and imagin all sorts of things but when it comes down to it a lot of the toys doms use take skill and practice to use correctly. So when you finally meet, like in my case, he might have no clue what he is really doing.
Didn't mean to come off like I know everything. Its more how little I know that makes me aware of how much there is to it.Quote:
Originally Posted by VaAugusta
Where I'm from, the local scene is almost nil, so I have explored online a lot. It can be a good experience, provided you find the the right kind of people online. Though I'm sure there can be no substitute for the real thing, online can be fun and adventurous and there is a very real possibility that one might meet someone special too!