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i'm having a lot of trouble learning to be submissive in my RL marriage. i am angry, resentful and argumentative, and i don't enjoy being corrected or punished. i want to do this right though--help please!
How does submission make you feel?
Why do you submit?
How do you resist arguing?
Any advice?
I don't have any good advice for you. Obviously it is much more difficult for some people to be submissive, and since you have been a Dom, I would think it is going to be extra hard.
Submission makes me feel hot. Or relaxed, or happy, or all of the above. I do it because I enjoy it. I resist arguing by closing my mouth, or saying "Yes, Master".
i'm having a lot of trouble learning to be submissive in my RL marriage. i am angry, resentful and argumentative, and i don't enjoy being corrected or punished. i want to do this right though--help please!
It may be becuase submission just isnt in the cards for you...or the one your trying to submit too isnt the right fit or not a capable dominant for you.
It certiantly doesnt help that your trying to submit to someone who you once dominated. Also I know when someone who has dominated me before but then turns around and submits to me is forever in my mind never going to regain said dominance.
How does submission make you feel?
That depends on a wide variety of situations and the individuals involved in my submission.
Why do you submit?
Becuase I have too. Ive tried going away from it before and its just too much a part of me for me to be otherwise
How do you resist arguing?
If the other person is dominant enough for me I dont have to "resist" in all other cases a little self disipline goes a long way.
Any advice?
Dont try to make a square peg fit in a round hole.
Failing is not an option. i did that as a dom and i refuse to fail now as a sub... that would make me vanilla and that's not apealing at alll. Square pegs in round holes are enjoyable with a little finesse!
How does submission make you feel?
It gives me a freedom I don't have words to explain. I can be the 'me' I could never allow people in my vanilla life to see.
It gives me a release from always having to be strong.
Why do you submit?
Because it is who I am. I don't submit to anyone calling themselves a Dominant but I know I can't NOT submit to my Masters will.
How do you resist arguing?
*smiling* there is no better advice than ksst's. Being a sub doesnt mean I don't have an opinion. Or don't feel my Master is wrong sometimes. But it is the way I handle those emotions and feelings. And ulitmately I know I will submit to His will. Regardless...
Any advice?[/QUOTE]
Maybe you are 'trying' too hard. Make the descision to submit... And then stop thinking about it. Give over... Free fall and then trust your dominant to catch you. If you can't trust Her with that...then you and Her need to discuss some basics before going forward.
If everything has been discussed and you are kneeling before Her, head bowed, at her mercy ...if that doesnt give you peace maybe denuseri has a point...as hard as it is to accept.
All the best...vicki
If it's really not working to submit, and you didn't like the outcome of being the dom, there are other roles in kink, such as switching with her, depending on mood, and doing various things to each other that you both enjoy, that you could explore. It doesn't automatically put you in vanilla land to not have a permanent role.
Thank you all for your great advice, especially post #6 by ksst. Things are working better now that She has set me straight, but i don't want to kill this thread either. i think it's still a good thread so the questions still stand.
Yep! It's me. I haven't been able to devote the time that I would like to this journey. That halts tonight. We have work to do...
As you wish Mistress
Take things more slowly perhaps? Decide what -you- like about being submissive, and talk to your Domme about taking things more slowly as you experiment. Also decide what type of BDSM relationship works for the both of you; some people like 24/7, others like a bit of a mix, and some just want it in the bedroom, or only sometimes... all of these ways are fine and each relationship will be different. Also, for me writing down some of my ideas, or scenarios I want to try and sharing them with my Dom works wonders!Quote:
Originally Posted by Strypi's beast
Since I find myself continuing to learn as I explore this side of myself, I'm sure my answers would change slightly over time.
When I am submitting to the will of whatever my Daddy wishes, I feel much more centered and at ease. A few weeks ago I was tasked with practicing different submissive positions, and have found that when I am kneeling, everything becomes clearer, and I can focus solely on what is requested of me. All else fades.
I submit to Him, because it is what He desires. Right now above all else the idea of failing in some way, large or small is what terrifies me. I want to be all things that He wants and desires. When I receive praise from Him, that is what gets me going more than anything.
Arguing has not been a thought for me. For me the idea of being bratty, or not submitting to His will seems so foreign a concept. I honestly can't fathom pushing Him that way. I may be ornery when I'm really horny, but only ever within the boundaries of having it come across as voicing what I need respectfully.
Advice ... each relationship takes time to develop. There are bound to be bumps along the way, but if you find the right person, the journey is what makes it so exciting.
submission makes me feel peaceful and content. I pass all of my worries and decisions to my One. my focus is him and him alone and it is easy when it's the right person.
when it is not a good match it is difficult...I fight with myself and struggle to open up and release control.
i submit because it is me..it is who I am. i have no choice in the matter really...not if i want to be happy and fulfilled.
i don't argue perse but do share my opinions. the final decision is up to Him.
Advice::: just let go...release control..you will find an inner-peace you never knew existed..that is if it is the right choice for you. submission is not for everyone and it is not a one size fits all. we are all different and all find different ways to fit it into our lives.
Well put dear. :)
She certainly did set me straight with an Amazing session! When She first began beating me She instructed me to say Mistress after everything i said. So She asked me, "What's my name?" as She began swinging the paddle against my ass. i uncontrollably yelled, "Mistress Strypi, Mistress". This continued for about 15 minutes and suddenly my breathing became slow and calm, the room seemed quiet, my eyes closed, and i felt as if i were floating. The paddle didn't even cause me to wince, and when She asked me to say Her name while swinging the paddle at my brused and lumpy ass i was able to respond in a smooth and loving tone. i think this is the fabled sub space i've always heard of.
So, now i will answer my own question.
Submission makes me feel symbiotic with Her, like i am high on cocaine, confident and ready for anything.
Awesome!
congratulations :)