New Dom would like to talk to Exp. Dom

Hey everyone i'm new to the D/S world and have been looking on this site and doing alot of research through books and the internet. I have meet a girl who has been involved in the D/S world for awhile and she has taken a liking to me. We have been sexually involved and she is the one who has allowed me to open up the real me that i have hidden inside. I am confused on a few different things. The Sub i am involved with likes being praised when she does right and i understand the whole ground rules. I am confused on how to help send my Sub into sub-space and some other issues. So if a experienced Dom would help me out it would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance for the help.

My natural modesty (the best of my many admirable qualities) made me wait for someone else to come in on this, but I guess all the really experienced Doms are too busy saving the world, curing AIDS or pleasuring their vast harems to have got around to it, so you'll have to make do with me.

Well done for having the courage to ask, and good luck on your journey into this wonderful world. Don't be coy about questions that sound too basic, the only silly question is the one you don't ask.

To start with the one you've specified, subspace is used for a range of states from intense overwhelming submissive feelings, to something like a trance or out of body experience. It's really the end of a road you've just started, so don't feel you have to get there right away.

The way most subs first reach it is lengthy SM in tight bondage; intense pain needn't be involved, it can involve low-key sensations such as scratching or pinwheels, the key thing is to deepen the sense of being a helpless object till the sub loses herself in it as a meditator loses hirself in the mantra. Blindfolds and other sensory shutoffs help. Like orgasm, it gets easier to reach with experience and can be linked to particular triggers: a sub on this forum says that her Master can send her there just by gripping her neck.

You might get more precise answers on this particular question by posting it on the Submissives' side. Meanwhile, what are some of the other issues?

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Originally Posted by leo9

My natural modesty (the best of my many admirable qualities) made me wait for someone else to come in on this, but I guess all the really experienced Doms are too busy saving the world, curing AIDS or pleasuring their vast harems to have got around to it

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This made me laugh out loud!! :)

Subspace isn't something all subs achieve or even desire, it generally refers to state of mind where they completely disassociate from reality and won't even think to use such things as safe words or warn the Dom/me if they, the sub, are in over their heads. This means that unless you're an experienced Dom/me you're better off not trying for it to start but working towards it through building up the trust and rapport between you and your sub is built up and you get a better handle on when they've reached their maximum safe limits.