What's a Stray to Do?

Okay is this normal? I know this is going to seem like a total lark, but it's kind of wonderful and horrible and I'm just wondering if this is a common experience.

So my partner and I have been looking for a Domme or a dominant couple (containing at least one woman) and it made my fantasies go completely wild.

I naively accepted a "Training Period" from a "woman" online that didn't last more than forty-eight hours, but one of her commands was to stay excited all the time. Which ended up kind of annoying me, because I thought no way can I possibly stay excited all the time. And there was also a demand to not orgasm.

But after (for numerous unrelated reasons) I realized we weren't a fit I kept doing those two things. Well I didn't really mean to keep myself excited. I just meant to not orgasm. But then with all the searching I had it on my mind a lot and I found myself really inspired and writing a lot of stories. And then I found myself masterbating a lot (which I don't do very often ordinarily) right up to where I'm basically having to tear my hand away from myself (which is a weird brain splitting function).

And now I can't remember how to act with strangers. I'm objectifying everyone and stammering because I'm not thinking "Oh hello how are you? What do you think about this weather?" I'm thinking: "I wonder if she's dominant? I wonder if her husband is dominant? I wonder if she can tell I'm aroused? Her breasts look really great in that shirt. I wish I could touch them. God I shouldn't be thinking this. She has a really nice face. She's really pretty."

So there's one problem. I shouldn't be allowed in public anymore.

The second problem is I'm dreaming about being enslaved constantly. I'm waking up in the middle of the night totally excited. I'm not getting enough sleep. I went to bed at eleven last night thinking about sex and woke up at four thirty from a dream I was really loving about being used by basically everyone, at least everyone in my dream. And then I couldn't get back to sleep. All I could do was lay there deperatelytring to remember my dream, because it was so exciting.

And here's the thrid problem, the more I'm excited by all this and the more I research and the more I look the less accessable and possible it seems.

Anyone dealing or has dealt with any of these things? And don't tell me they're not problems because I'm seriously listing them as problems. Exciting, happy-happy brain chemical inducing problems, but problems.

I guess I could try and get my mind off of it, but who wants to do that? Which makes it sound like I don't want to solve my problem. But I feel a little like I did when I was a smoker. I didn't want to quit because I was addicted. (Waiting until you want to quit is like saying that you're waiting to get emphasima.) I was getting something out of it, so why stop. But this is worse, in a way, because if being overly aroused makes me smell bad (like smoking) than that just seems humiliating which makes me in turn more aroused (If that's even possible. Maybe maintain arousal?)

In my opinion, it seems like you may be experiencing what is commonly refered to as sub frenzy... It seems, and i might be wrong, that you are not new to this lifestyle! But new to having a Domme??


There are some great threads about it on this forum.

It felt to me like i found my sexual switch and it just wouldnt switch off!!
And, yes, i have experienced all this to be addictive.

*grin* i still walk around in shops, wondering who might be into BDSM, who is not allowed to cum, who has a toy inside them....etc....
Maybe because i look absolutely vanilla (and i suspect people around me would never believe i even know about BDSM) i know how decieving looks can be. And it has become a little game for me.
Im not too sure it's wrong. Maybe only if you lose your impulse control....?

I'm not sure what you mean by "Maybe only if you lose your impulse control." That is, if I lost control over my impulses than what?

Someone else wrote me a private message calling this little --um-- problem 'sub-frenzy' too! That makes me feel so much better that there's a name for it. I was seriously starting to wonder if there was something going seriously wrong with me. Of course saying I'm in a sub-frenzy doesn't mean there's nothing wrong with me. It's just an apparently common thing.

I'm not new to the thoughts at all. I don't think I've had a sexual thought (an effective sexual thought) that wasn't submissive in my entire life. I've been invited to play a few times in my life, but have never sought anything out actively until recently. And now it seems I'm going crazy. So I'm not new in thought. I write tons of stories and read a lot about it, but only recently have tried to find experiences.

If you live close to any major cities you should be able to find a public access dungeon/club and perhaps maybe help scratch the sub-frenzy itch.

They are almost always monitored with a staff.

You would also get to see some real bdsm too and perhaps even sober some of that frenzy, temper some of the fantasy with some reality etc.

[QUOTE=Ceight;968306]I'm not sure what you mean by "Maybe only if you lose your impulse control." That is, if I lost control over my impulses than what?



I simply meant losing control of your good common sense. If you would do anything to 'scratch the itch'.
I have seen subs willing to forget about all that is truly important to them......in the heat of the moment.

Ah, yes! This seems like very good advise, both of you. I certainly felt like I was on the verge of getting carried away.

One thing that ended up helping was not having an internet connection or privacy for a few days. That tempered things considerably. :)