Letting down defences

OK ... so I have a bit of problem. It's a little hard to explain, and probably a great deal daft, but dammit we need content so here goes!

I love being submissive to the right person, but I often have trouble letting my guard down in. I'm always sure I come off as brash and loud and silly, which is true enough, but I suspect it's just a bit off-putting to Dommes. I don't mean that I act bratty or thoughtlessly mind you, just that I don't feel like I'm acting ... you know...subby! And until recently I didn't post much in the forums because somehow when it comes to posting a message here, I feel like whatever I was trying to say gets mangled somewhere between my brain and fingers.

Anyone else have this problem?

Mine is the exact opposite to some degree and the same in the other. i have a hard time as well letting myself be out there and as it is vulnerable. Even with the right person...for me i give it all which means when i get hurt i get badly hurt. Where you feel you are loud and silly...i'm shy and if i connect with that person even if they aren't aware of it i almost shut down and my brain freezes. Guessing, just a guess mind you, it's partially nerves, for me fear of being hurt again. But i need this and i hope that eventually i will find that one Domme that will see in me all the potential i can be with the right guidance. Not sure if this helps any...like you i think what i'm trying to express gets "mangled" between the head and the fingers lol...i hope in some way you know that no your not alone even if the reasons behind what we do is different...

I think that as we grow and find ourselves in this lifestyle, we learn that there are parts to ourselves which we are comfortable with, though they may not be something we wish others to know or see. I don't think there is anything wrong with having some insecurities or hesitation about how we present ourselves or interact. I believe it to be more of a defense mechanism, and should not be let down so easily. Too many people go into this gung-ho and end up hurt. Keep true to yourself, and when the time and the One is right, They will see you for all you are, and for Them, your defenses will crumble. All others can take you as YOU chose to give.

I will say this though ... If a Dom/me makes a single judgement about you without taking the time, or giving the effort to get to know you, it isn't your worry if they move along. Only the ones you deem worthy should have the pleasure of being in your life. Trust and respect are earned. And that takes time and patience.