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I'm usually submissive but I'm technically a switch, I'm in a fairly new relationship and while he's usually good with being dominant he wants me to take a turn dominating him. I've done it a couple times with other guys but only as a way to tease. I've never humiliated, used and abused a guy the way he's wanting. Right now we're just talking about what I'd make him do and I'm feeling a lil overwhelmed.
So sorry to hear that you're feeling shaky about it. It's manageable.
Being a dom means (a) understanding your sub, (b) setting goals for, in this case, him, (c) creating rules which will move your sub toward the goal and (d) rigorously enforcing his conformity to those rules. Here's a walk-through:
(a) understanding: you might learn that your sub has problems at work, in particular that he's not getting promoted at a reasonable pace. After some discussion, you learn that he has a tendency to arrive just a bit late and to submit work just a bit after it was due. That irks his supervisor. As you listen to your sub's defensiveness ("i can't help it if there's traffic"), you suspect that could be complicating things.
The example could as easily have been about impulse buying, snacking or being snippy with waitresses. For this illustration, tardiness.
(b) goal setting: you decide that your sub needs to learn to meet deadlines, regardless of challenges, and to take honest responsibility for any lapses.
(c) rule setting: you create a series of specific rules or tasks with precise deadlines for him with no acceptable excuse for failure. Announce the rule or task formally and make him repeat it precisely.
you: Here, boy.
he arrives.
you: Down!
he kneels, eyes down. Smack him and ask, "do I have your attention now, boy?"
he: Yes, ma'am. If he forgets the "ma'am," smack him again.
you: I find you careless about your time commitments. Making a commitment then failing to honor it is profoundly disrespectful, boy. Do you understand that?
he: yes, ma'am. i'm sorry, ma'am. If he gives any other answer ("i don't think so" or "but ..."), smack him. he'll eventually get the clue.
you: you will learn to be better for me. you have four tasks. I will explain each and you will repeat it to me, word for word. If you don't want to learn about tasks two, three and four with a plug up your butt, you'll listen very intently and repeat very precisely. Do you understand, boy?
he: yes, ma'am.
you, fingering a butt plug: then repeat back exactly what you were just told.
he's right or he's plugged.
you, placing a rolled $5 bill in his mouth: at precisely 7:12 this evening, you will place a fresh knob of ginger on the counter next to the coffeemaker, then you will kneel and await instructions. Every minute you are late will cost you one stroke on your bare ass then ten minutes in your corner. Repeat that back, exactly.
(d) rule enforcement: at 30 seconds after 7:12, begin the tally. If he's hopeful of being punished, set an exceptionally tight deadline.
In a long-term D/s way, you'd be working to change his attitudes and behaviors by identifying and punishing bad behavior while rewarding good behavior. In a short-term switch game, you're giving him the opportunity to start with a little shiver, to anticipate a punishment, and then to experience it.
Ummm, then have sex. You get to cum first. (Rank hath its privileges.) I probably wouldn't unplug him until afterward. Remember, too, that you're training him about appropriate dominant behaviors and rituals. Be sure your butt is looking forward to whatever you inflict on his.
Sounds complicated, I know, but good instructions for making chocolate chip cookies are even longer and more complex. The whole thing is simple once you get it.
For what that's worth,
Solis
I wonder why you are techically a switch. Do you really want to dominate or are you a sub that likes to just NOT be a sub sometimes? If he wants to be dominated is he really someone you want to be with? D/s relationships are way beyond the normal realm. It takes talking about expectations. What each is really comfortable with to develop a deep trust. I'd suggest writing down separately what you each want from the relationship then sit down and read your goals. Compare and contrast them and find if or where they mesh and start from there. If either of you is uncertain about how do Dom/me then perhaps just some kinky sex is best.. IMHO