I have been doing some reading and this question has come into my mind.
Is the practice of haveing multiples slaves in a home mostly confined to where the Dom is male or is the practice just as common with Dommes?
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I have been doing some reading and this question has come into my mind.
Is the practice of haveing multiples slaves in a home mostly confined to where the Dom is male or is the practice just as common with Dommes?
Hmmmm i cant speak form alot of experiance but i have ran into more then a few Dommes that have stables.....alot of them on the coast.
In my experience, there's not gender line that determines who has polyamorous relationships. It could be a man just as easily as a woman.
While I guess it can break down into polyamory I really did not think of it......Must go and do more thinking.....As well as try to prevent brain from exploding.
On a wider front, polyamorous or polygamous relationships tend to be cultural and hence economic which is why it is widely assumed it is a male privelege but that is only because in most cultures the male has the economic power. You have to be able to afford or be financially independant to pursue multiple lovers. In modern western culture the female is just as likely to be financially solvent as a male so it is accepted. However if one digs deeper, women have always have had polyamorous relationships in western culture. Historically in higher stratas of society once the wife had calved a son and a heir and the husband had lost interest, usually because marriage was a business contract, a blind eyes was turned to the female's peccadillos as long as she was discrete and didn't cause social embarrassment. In the lower orders where there was no property involved, there really wasn't any social restraint on a female pursuing her physical pleasures. What we think of as modesty and restraint amongst women, usually belonged to the women of the aspiring middleclasses who was after capturing a gentleman of value. A gentleman with money wasn't going to bestow his wealth on a woman who had been round the houses so to speak. In fact the idea of a woman being modest sexually was a repressed Victorian invention like the word pornography. In the middleages it was even known for ladies with power to kidnap a young lover. Hmm I could go on and on etc etc. So as in vanilla relationships so in D/s relationships I guess.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightstriker
From a Dom's point of view, I find it takes a lot of thought, feeling, planning, caring, emotion, and intellectual power to fully exercise the dominant side of the human experience. Creativity is a must, since you are the initiator of the scenes. Next to lack of communication, boredom is the biggest killer of a relationship. It takes dedication on both sides to make the relationship work.
I have had two subs active at the same time, but never more than that. Trying to devote the attention required to a stable of several subs I feel is not especially fair to either party, and frankly I am not sure I am totally capable of doing it to my satisfaction, or that of the subs.
When I am in a relationship with a sub, I want to be satisfied from her, but also to satisfy her and ALL her appetites. Dissipating my focus weakens my intensity. Call me a traditionalist, but I feel the fewer the better.
I agree. While it is a wonderfull fastasy, I doubt that having a harem of subs would be very pratical. It takes a lot of time and effort to come up with a scene. Trying to do so on a large scale would diminish the quality.
Ahh, but what a nice thought.
Only in my dreams... :) In reality I don't think I could deal with it.
Slaves in fantasies give unconditional devotion to their owner; reciprocation is optional. They are perfectly attentive or exactly as untrained as you want them. If they snipe at each other, it's only to give the fantasy dominant another opportunity to do unpleasant things to them.
I suppose it does work in reality when the slaves/subs not only have a good relationship with the dominant, but are also supportive of each other and get along well. Personally I'd be a total washout in long term polyamory as multiple Domme. Petty rivalries get my goat enough in other contexts; I would not want to deal with them in my private life. I think at the first sign of interslave backstabbing I'd throw the whole harem out, and that would be the end of that experiment.
As for ladies with power kidnapping lovers... now there's a story idea.
Thinking about it, if I had ten sex slaves to indulge my fantasies on, I think I would be searching for that elusive eleventh, then twelfth or probably just concentrate on the one who intellectually stimulated me the most.
Sultans who could potentially have scores of wives and often did, tended to have one or two favourites. The politicing between the concubines for favour could also prove something of a headache.
Nice fantasy but potentially a nightmare.
I am not talking about massive harems, or even playing with your subs at the same time. I would actually discourage the latter, for if I love three women I would not want them to feel like they had to compeat for my love, which is what I would see happening in a situation like that.
It is definitely an appealing idea, I share the practicality concerns though.
Ranai makes an excellent point about the bitching too. I think you would have to decide to operate either a competely 'laissez-faire' policy ( providing no physical damage occurs from bitch-fighting ) or stipulate a pecking order to avoid such problems. I would like the idea of having one girl who would organize and manage the rest and institutionally bend them to my will. Partly out of opulent laziness and partly cos the idea of such a social structure is a real turn on. Maybe I should just buy an old English manor and do the whole thing:rolleyes:
A lovely fantasy but I doubt I could keep up physically, although if it could be properly organised with me not having to actually do anything except play with the slaves then I could possibly be forced to try it.
Fancy doing it as a joint venture, AB ?Quote:
Originally Posted by AndrewBlack
Oh YEAH :p ! Either of you interested in a pig-headed, accident prone subby from America? :D
if you have the money to keep several subs at the same time i dont see that it matters what gender you are
just remember though
"too many cocks spoil the b...." no, wait, thats not right is it......
I don't know... still speaking hypothetically and without experience... If people are prone to rivalry, it may be fuelled by simply living together. If they are not and everyone gets along reasonably well in everyday life, I would see no obstacle to scening together too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightstriker
By the way this topic reminded me of NiceMaster's thread Help with a new Slave .
Having firsthand knowledge of having more than one submissive at one time, I can hopefully shed a little light on this subject.
One of the absolutely most important things when having more than one submissive is that they get along and that they are not jealous of one another. If one or both girls are jealous of the dominant's attention toward the other girl, then the relationship will probably never work.
Other things to consider are sexuality, experience, and areas of interest. If you plan to have a saexual relationship with both girls and expect them to have sexual relations with one another, then you should probably makes sure that both girls are interested in both sexes. If not, that's definitely going to put a strain on plans. Also, experience plays a key role in the relationship. If one submissive has been involved in BDSM longer than the other submissive(s), then she can help to explain what is expected and even help somewhat with the training of the other girl(s). Area of interest are also important, because one girl might be interested in completely different things than another girl. For instance, if you have one girl who only wishes to serve in a domestic capacity and another girl who only wishes to be used like a slut, then the two are unlikely to the same type of relationship with the dominant partner. This is not a bad thing. This just means that one girl is able to take care of the house and the service aspects and the other girl is able to take care of the sexual aspects.
In poly relationships, though, the two absolutely most important aspects in the relationship are trust and open communication. All partners must trust one another implicitly, and all partners must be able to communicate their desires, needs and concerns with all of the other partners. Withouth these two essential elements being met and encouraged, certain aspects of the relationship will begin to fester and the relationship will eventually fall apart.
One other thing that must be considered beforehand are outside commitments of each party. Are the jobs, education, family commitments, or domestic obligations of one or more of the parties involved going to prevent them from commiting fully to the relationship? If one or more parties cannot allot enough time and effort to the relationship, then they will likely become dissatisfied and need to leave in order to pursue their own goals of education, career, family, etc.
Polyamorous relationships can work, however. If the situation is right and if the conditions are all good, then a poly relationship can be very happy, very equitable, and very comfortable for everyone involved. I do agree, however, that there are certain limits to how much attention one dominant can provide to his submissive partners. I personally have never had more than two submissives in real life situations. I don't know anyone that's ever had more than that, but I would venture to guess that any more than about two or three submissives, and you're probably going to start encountering issues of insufficient time and attention. I would suggest that, unless the dominant is independantly wealthy, incredibly lucky at finding submissives that get along well together, and he has an incredible libido and an incredible amount of endurance, that palatial submissive estates would likely not be good ideas in real life. More likely, they would be the things of fantasy and fiction.
Now TG that all depends on the type of relationship that you and your submissives want.
If they want to be in the type of situation that you have described then go for it, just so long as everyone is happy.
Though I will hazard to guess that there are subs out there who will accept that their dom is poly, but do not want to participate in a poly relationship themselves. This would require a bit more work, and as long as you can give all of your submissives the love that you want to give them, and as long as this is done equally then I do not see any problem.
Though to do this you will need to reafirm that you love them just as much as any other, and with proper scheduling things can work out. I have seen it, though not with live in couples, but it is damm near close.
I have gotten the same when talking with some of the poly couples that I know who are not into BDSM.
Not sure if I should start a new thread for this question:Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightstriker
What about the doms who are poly online, but lead each and every one of their subs to believe that she is the only one?
Do we say he's keeping a stable? Being unfaithful if the others don't know?
Nightstriker/Moderator - if these questions belong elsewhere please move to a new thread. Thanks, Ruby
I'd say this is a fine place for those questions, since it is still in essence along the same lines as the original.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruby
The difference between cheating and consent is knowledge. If a dominant has more than one submissive, even online, and isn't telling each of them about the others, then he's cheating.
He is keeping a stable, but he's also being unfaithful to all of him through his dishonesty.
Ruby always asked the hard questions. I never really gave the subject much thought. I just assume my master had other subs. He has never really talked about anyone specific but he had brought up how others have reacted to some of his tasks. On the other hand as a Domme I have one sub who is my pet. I interact with several others but do not give then near as much attention as I do my pet. He is aware that I do alot of roleplay but I never really asked him how he felt about it.Quote:
Originally Posted by BDSM_Tourguide
TG,
You have given me something to think about. I guess in the broad sense of the word I have stable. My pet probaly has a better idea of my activies than I do of my masters. I guess I need to find out how he feels about it. Then decide if I am going to be noisy and ask my master if he has other as well.
I have no problem, personally, with poly relationships. Because TG persues other relationships with other submissives I do not consider it cheating. Why? Because we discuss with each other first of it would be a good thing to both of us for him to continue with it. Normally, it has to be with someone that I can get along with.
Stables, as a whole, I am not sure I agree with because it just seems so impersonal. Kind of like a harem. Just something about it that leaves something to be desired.
Ruby and TG (especially TG). I so do agree with you on this one. That has always been my number one no-no. Do *NOT* lie to me, baby, or you *will* be found out in the most unexpected ways.
I don't care what they look like, seriously; they could be five feet tall, chubby or skinny, whatever.....because looks never meant much to me. But they had BETTER be honest.
I just have to tell this story...,getting on a bandwagon here. My ex-husband was sleeping with my best friend the whole last year I was there and lying about it. But I am very very smart,intuiative, and when required, patient as well. I figured the whole thing out about 2 months in to that last year, followed them around, took pictures, got eyewitness accounts which I had sent to me certified receipt mail requested and also a PI, who was a friend of mine, who took depositions with said witnesses. And he also took some pretty racy pictures during those last 7 months or so.
The whole entire time, I acted so innocent and unknowing, continuing to be her best friend and the love of his love (oh, yes, I am a VERY good actress when I have to be) but I was gathering evidence by the handsfuls. A month before I left....? Well.....
In the end I did nothing with it as far as court revenge. Rather, anonymously, I sent it to her husband's ex wife (who did take it to court and use it to raise the child support...just as I had known she would) so that my cheating ex best friend and her husband would have to pay 1,000 dollars a month instead of 500. I felt no remorse, because one of my sources (verified by PI friend) was a friend of my girfriend's husband, who told him one day that they had an open marriage, she was sleeping with her best friend's husband, and had sworn him to secrecy, and he was fine with that since she was being honest with HIM. I figured he deserved a little taste of the lash as well.
I sent it to my ex's boss because I knew that he was due for a raise (and he didn't get it; in fact, he got slightly demoted and told by his boss in private that though it would never be known by anyone what he had done, his boss had lost all respect and trust for him and it would be a cold day in hell before he ever recommended him for a raise....just as I had known his boss would do) and then, I left it alone. I didn't send it to anyone else. I didn't want to hurt anyone except the two who had lied to and betrayed me. To this day, neither one of them knows what happened, who sent what and what was actually IN the information that I sent. Just as I intended.
When warranted and deserved, I do believe in the saying "Revenge is a Dish best served Cold". And it is a sweet dish indeed, as long as you have the patience, and creativity, to spice it perfectly......
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruby
I asked:
What about the doms who are poly online, but lead each and every one of their subs to believe that she is the only one?
Do we say he's keeping a stable? Being unfaithful if the others don't know?
TG: Thanks. I think you summed up what I was feeling when I asked this question.
Jadetiger: I'm so glad your pet and master know what you've been up to. Though you don't try to hide anything. You've got enough threads going that we can all learn for your great experiences.
FF: Valuable insight here, thank you.
Alura: Remind me not to mess with you, ever!
While revenge is a dish best served cold, I'd rather not have to serve it for dinner.
Anyone else care to take a stab at these tough questions?
I can appreciate that. And your tale sounds exactly like something I would do.Quote:
Originally Posted by pcaitlynrose
Too f***ing right!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Wontworry
WOW, TG! A man after my own heart.
My hat, liking and great respect (because you have won it by showing how much you incorporate truth and honesty into your life) goes out to you.
After the words that you have so strongly spoken, from now on, I consider you one of the few friends that I feel I can genuinely trust and respect an opinion from. And I don't trust very many people, so consider that to be a compliment. Just ask Ruby; she'll tell you how prickly I tend to be when it comes to trust.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BDSM_Tourguide
I agree 100% with you TG...it is amazing to me that people still think they can get away with it, especially on a site such as this. We have a lot of newcomers to the forums, but some of you (and me too) have been around here awhile...long enough to make good friends and maybe even play a little. I think that all those newcomers who are here to flirt only should say so. It's not a bad thing to flirt with several different people. It is wrong though to make each one of them think they are the only one that you would talk to like this. Or to tell one of them that you have formally chosen them as your own, then go and send "pussy meltdown" PM's to other forum members. And yes I'm once again speaking from experience! For all I know he sent the same PM to each of us...so beware all! And could someone please help me to stop being so fucking naive?? Oh well...live and learn, huh?Quote:
Originally Posted by BDSM_Tourguide
~ltp~