To set the record straight

I came to this site to find a sub and to share my stories with like minded people, I found friendship here with A/all, was approached by two ladies one sub and one not sure new to lifestyle,Was informed learningtopleez was interested in Me as Dom, and also the other was interested as one writer to another, communicated with both, told the other would help by being mentor answering questions so she could decide her role in lifestyle, send numerous writings back and forth, at the same time was getting to know ltp , on the night before I was accussed of having a stable I formally took ltp as Mine, at no time did I ask the other to wear my collar, had big project that day so couldnt get back online, read email off site saying should come to site two subs fighting over Dom thought I may enjoy reading, paid no attention to it,
that was my only mistake should have come to site, as I was the Dom in question, I bear no ill will toward the other sub as she is new to lifestyle and just assumed she was mine, But for the record so A/all may know learningtopleez is the only sub, I collared, her only fault was coming to you and not to Me, as you will see by her profile she still wears My collar proudly, and she will be punished for not asking Me instead of others as is My right as her Master

It is probably not my place to say anything but I can feel a certain resemblemence to myself. Not being used to BDSM and only just starting off with my husband SIR I can only say that I'm very lucky to be introducing BDSM into your lives.
But for someone who has an overwelming urge of need to be a sub, you 'may' have given her the opportunity to feel wanted. Not blaming anyone as sometimes emotions can make decisions rather than actual thought. It will take time but I agree that you have to take a stand now rather than later.

Is there anyway that you could have 2 subs. It may be more work involved but this could also be an advantage for all three. They could both prove their loyalty to you as afterall it is an online thing but are you looking further on than that?

It is only a thought so please don't take this the wrong way. I just know how strong the feeling is to be a sub.

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Originally Posted by sirken

that was my only mistake should have come to site, as I was the Dom in question, I bear no ill will toward the other sub as she is new to lifestyle and just assumed she was mine, But for the record so A/all may know learningtopleez is the only sub, I collared, her only fault was coming to you and not to Me, as you will see by her profile she still wears My collar proudly, and she will be punished for not asking Me instead of others as is My right as her Master

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Excuse me, but what I take from this post is that you are not happy with a sub (LTP) for having friends in the lifestyle that she trusts more than some "dom" she just met. Well, hello, any dom with any sense of common courtesy would understand that, especially if the dom in question cannot be reached, for whatever reason, a sub is going to go to people she trusts (that she's known longer than you) for guidance. IMO punishing that is not acceptable, especially considering it sounds like the whole misunderstanding occurred b/c you were not as honest and forthcoming, or as clear about rules and boundaries, as I would expect a quality dom to be.

LTP is an excellent sub, btw, and I have no question in my mind that she would have approached you first if she'd felt a sense of mutual respect and comfort with you. Perhaps you should consider acquiring other attributes such as honesty, respectfulness, and compassion to add to your profile of "strong, tall dom".

In other words, don't fuck with my friends and fellow subs. Especially when I have absolutely nothing to lose by calling you on it at this site. Punishment should be between dom and sub, not broadcast to the world.

eb

Maybe I should'nt have answered to this thread with the previous post. I really don't know what went on between the three of you but it could become a dangerouse game if someone gets hurt.

As e.b. has mentioned it should be sorted out by yourself and those involved and not publicly as has been done. If you want advice then PM-ing someone that you can trust would be far more subtle.

I also think the same as e.b. now that she has put it to my attention that 'honesty' may not have played it's part.

I hope this does get sorted out quickly as I would not like anyone here to get hurt, least of all people that I call 'freinds'.

I have read what was said in forums before,about Me, only I ltp and the other know whole truth, and as for public admonishment of ltp she agreed so if you wish to question My motives, honesty, or compassion and you say you are friend to her then ask her, as to other question will it lead to r/l noone knows that only time and growing will tell

It is not for me to ask questions as such. If this thread had not been posted then the question of 'why?' would not have appeared. To 'set a record straight' means that something has been said, but what? I haven't seen or heard anything and I still think that those who don't know anything should not have known anything (probably including myself).

I regard everyone here as a 'friend' because if I hadn't come here I would not be leading such a wonderful and closer life with my husband, 'SIR'.

To me this site is my new family and I enjoy every minute, as does SIR, on here. I learn something every day by such brave and wonderful people who give soo much to this site.

If I am supposed to 'know' something then it would be by those people at hand and not for me to find out. What you have posted may be with consent but it should still have been a private thing between yourselves as this could damage this other person. Sometimes it just takes a little understanding and communication which 'may' not have happened here.

Again, I really do hope that this matter is resolved fast without anyone getting hurt as you are 'all' my freinds.

i know that I don't know much about the situation but I hope everything ends up coming out okay for both of you:)

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Originally Posted by sirken

read email off site saying should come to site two subs fighting over Dom thought I may enjoy reading

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Sirken,this apparent bickering went over my head, and I wouldn't have known about it, except I do now because you posted this thread.

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Originally Posted by sirken

But for the record so A/all may know learningtopleez is the only sub, I collared, her only fault was coming to you and not to Me, as you will see by her profile she still wears My collar proudly, and she will be punished for not asking Me instead of others as is My right as her Master

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You yourself said you wern't available when this argument started. ltp couldn't get in touch with you and needed to talk to someone. I find it a bit unsettling to me when a man needs to punish a woman when she turns to her friends / support system for either advice or just a chat about something.

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Originally Posted by sirken

I have read what was said in forums before,about Me, only I ltp and the other know whole truth, and as for public admonishment of ltp she agreed so if you wish to question My motives, honesty, or compassion and you say you are friend to her then ask her, as to other question will it lead to r/l noone knows that only time and growing will tell

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SirKen,
Your need to publicly admonish your sub is all I need to gauge your motives, honesty, or compassion. The fact that you apparently did not feel the need to get the other person's permission regarding this post also reflects on your character as well. Sometimes taking the blame and apologizing for a misunderstanding is the manly thing to do. Since you are an experimented Dom I believe that is how we expected you to react and to handle the situation in a polite way. As far as this sub bickering you are referring to please point us to the posts. I never saw anything like this regarding you.

Whatever the situation, it's just so much water under the bridge. Though all of your protective instincts, amazing, beautiful and tender; showing your love and appreciation for LTP, are amazing and valued by LTP in so many ways, (and I hope someday to earn those same things for myself), as it is, we are now, despite all words that we might speak, no longer in control of the situation. They have to (Sir Ken and LTP) work these things out for themselves. If it's meant to be? They'll manage. If not, they won't.
I'm sure she can fight her own battles.
THE PAST IS JUST THAT....The Past.
My personal judgement is to let it lie.
All we are doing is causing more strife between the two of them and that's not a good thing.
Feel free to beat on me, publicly or otherwise, but I can't help how I feel.

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Originally Posted by Jadetiger

SirKen,
Your need to publicly admonish your sub is all I need to gauge your motives, honesty, or compassion. The fact that you apparently did not feel the need to get the other person's permission regarding this post also reflects on your character as well. Sometimes taking the blame and apologizing for a misunderstanding is the manly thing to do. Since you are an experimented Dom I believe that is how we expected you to react and to handle the situation in a polite way. As far as this sub bickering you are referring to please point us to the posts. I never saw anything like this regarding you.

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First I would like to say how much I love each of you for your kind words, your concern and the fact that you all care so much! It means the world to me as do each of you!

Now to explain so that you, my subbie sisters may breathe a sigh of relief and hopefully feel happiness for me and my Master, Sirken. I was told by a dear friend that sirken was interested in another as well a few days ago. She told me this because she was concerned for me, as are all of you. I do not feel she did this to cause problems. But it seems that ltp has some trust issues, (and some of you may remember why). So I immediately tried to contact sirken and when he did not respond to my IM's, I started accusing him. I now feel this was wrong (and not because he convinced me!), but because after talking with a couple of other people and doing some serious thinking (yep...I can be serious on occasion :p ), it just sorta hit me. I didn't know the friend who told me of this, or the "other" sub any better than I knew him. (yep, I figured out who she was and we had some interesting talks...btw...I like her just fine!) So why did I automatically assume he was at fault? Why?...because I am an insecure sub and not very trusting of men (be they Doms or whatever!). Once I realized all this I thought to myself...you idiot! :eek: Have you lost your mind woman???? I mean we seemed to connect from the beginning...just sorta clicked ya know? He is sweet, and kind, and funny, and his words...OMG!!...his words are just so very hot! And he does a fine job of keeping me in line! Well, we finally talked some more after the other stuff happened and we both agreed that maybe we had both rushed a little, but that it just felt right. He told me I could still be his and we would grow with trust, that there is no rush. I gladly and readily accepted! Then yesterday he told me he had posted on site that I am his and will be punished by not being allowed to post any type of reponse for 48 hours. I was not to say anything to anyone that this was my punishment. Well those of you that know me well...may I just say...damn....was this hard for me. He allowed me to read what others had posted so I knew all my subbie sisters were angry, but I was not allowed to defend him in any way! But it hasn't been 48 hours, I hear you all saying! I told ya he is sweet! He knew I was very upset that you guys were bashing him...and I do appreciate your care and concern...honest, but I also felt very badly that I couldn't say anything to anyone so that you all would know that I told him I was willing to accept whatever punishment he saw fit. I also felt it was wrong for everyone to be rude to him for my mistakes, my mistrust and my insecurities. So he has given me permission to post a reply...thank god....cause it was just killing me! :D Now you know why he did this, and that he is now my Master, which I am very happy about! We will go slowly, and hopefully I WILL learn to please!

Once again I truly appreciate all of you for your love and kindness to me! Now if I may ask you all a favor...he is truly a great Dom...and I have learned from this...so please go easy on him! If not, I may have to pay the price...although that might not be so bad! ;)

I thank you Master for giving me the opportunity to help you set the record straight and to learn!

Hugs and kisses
~ltp

I am glad that things are good between you two now, drama is bad,lol...that's how simple my mind is right now but I did want to respond since I know how it is to have problems trusting men since I know what can happen within a life to hurt one;)

Thank you Locked Advantages...it was with you that we first discussed our coming together....and you are right...it is not good to hurt your Master! I felt so badly that I had written things about him (w/o using his name), however, he knew and that was the hurtful part. I accused him of doing something that I turned around and did to him...hurt...it is never a good thing...especially towards a good person such as He is! I am just hoping he will approve of my long winded reply! Wish me luck! ;)

Hugs,
~ltp~

That is something I've learned in the past when I had trouble trusting my former dominant, after I went through alot of the bad but if both people care enough I know that it can work;) Okay maybe I am too much of a romantic saying that,lol :dunno:

I'm a hopeless romantic sug...I'm right there with ya...LOL!

~ltp~

This reads like a bad soap opera.

I question if the purpose of the original post was to punish LTP or confess that there was a misunderstanding between the two of you.

Like any good drama we seek villains and heros, but in this saga, no one comes out smelling like a rose. No one is as innocent as they might proclaim to be.

Perhaps that's the reality check and lesson for today. Live, learn, forgive and try again.

LTP - I admire your ability to learn from this situation. I hope you enjoy your time with your new master. It's much more fun to read the playfull banter that you both had going earlier than this type of thread. And about your hurry to post and break your punishment time, remember, your master is a big boy. He can defend himself.

Hey! You already KNOW how I feel....I was the outnumbered one saying 'leave them alone and let HIM spank her....it's what she wants anyway!' Grin...of course, not in those EXACT words...but well...? Laughing...

Sirken IS a really great guy. He's very smart and can be quite funny at times. And he seems to make you very happy, which is important to all of US! I think it is SO wonderful that so many seem to care for you, also. I admit to a touch of envy. Maybe I'll be lucky enough someday to have that kind of loyalty.

Again, the past is the past is the past...if it wasn't...can you IMAGINE how confusing life could be? You'd never know what dimension you were living in.

And heck, it's hard *enough* just living in ONE.

Good luck to both of you. May you find long and lasting love.....and even more importantly, may the two of you find in each other the best friend that you have ever had. (I say with some prejudice because that's what my ex and I were before we even got married....EX....? .... because he lost his marbles. Ah, well-)

At any rate......CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU BOTH!!!!!

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Originally Posted by learningtopleez

he is truly a great Dom...and I have learned from this...so please go easy on him! If not, I may have to pay the price...although that might not be so bad! ;)

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sirken,

i definitely owe you a major apology. i tend to be too overprotective sometimes and i obviously overreacted here. Please accept my apologies; i certainly didn't mean to cause any harm and am very sorry if i did so.

BTW, your punishment seemed very fair, not that my opinion matters...but anyhow, there's a shortage of good doms in the world so it's nice to be able to see evidence that there's one more out there and even nicer to know that LTP is well cared for by one of the good ones. Now that i'm thinking straight and am able to speak with a better understanding instead of jumping in without the whole story and making something of an ass of myself, i wish you both nothing but the best. You both seem very happy together and that's all that matters! Best wishes to you both and again, i apologize!! :)

eb

*shakes head and giggles!*

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Originally Posted by ruby

This reads like a bad soap opera.

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Who needs day time drama TV – Forums deserve Emmy!

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Originally Posted by e.b.

i definitely owe you a major apology.

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nicely done e.b. next time, maybe, if you did not let those claws run amuck, you would not have to lick wounds ;)

LTP good luck dear - and patience and trust!

It is sooo,,, hard to eat humble pie, but you did it well and i have to say i am proud of you! It is something that we all can learn from.

I am also glad to see things back on track for ltp and Sirken!

I am such a romantic.

T=WB

:rolleyes: Well! :rolleyes: I didn't post a reply straight away when I read learningtopleez side of the story, which filled in alot of the missing gaps. I slept on them, I wondered if I was too quick to judge and comment.

I reread what you wrote Sirken and my reply. :dunno: I, like many others, didn't know about it until you posted it.

And I do feel uneasy when a man seperates a woman from her family, friends and support group. Many abusive men do this (and I'm not suggesting you are one).

I, and others as well I would say, were wondering about the punishment learningtopleez was going through. Never leave a woman to speculate about anything :). It can be damn right dangerous.

As publicly aired all this is, so to is my sincere appologies to you, Sirken. And I do most sincerly wish you and learningtopleez all the best in your relationship together as a couple.

Please accept my hugs, kisses, and best, best wishes.

caitlin

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Originally Posted by Ruby

LTP - I admire your ability to learn from this situation. I hope you enjoy your time with your new master. It's much more fun to read the playfull banter that you both had going earlier than this type of thread. And about your hurry to post and break your punishment time, remember, your master is a big boy. He can defend himself.

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I agree Ruby...it was much more fun teasing sirken and having him tease back...and I am quite sure we will get back to that....but misunderstandings do occur in real life, and have to be dealt with. I am also quite aware that my Master is a big boy :p , and can defend himself, but as his sub, I felt the need to point out my issues as well. Having now done that and having received blessings from those that have posted, I'm just ready to learn to please Him as much as possible, and to learn from him...with a little pleasure thrown in for me of course! :D

~ltp~

Well, most of you may have noticed already, but since this was a thread to start our (myself and sirken's) relationship record straight, I felt it was the best place to put this post, saying that I no longer wear his collar. Once again, sirken and I had a misunderstanding. This time I went directly to him, having learned from my punishment to do so. He was still upset that I was upset and felt this was not our time and has released me from his collar. That said, I wish him good luck in finding the sub he desires. And as Ruby pointed out earlier...it was rather like a bad soap opera...way too much drama! Some was my fault, some was his. So now we move on...the end! :D

~ltp~

P.S. He once told me that several Doms on this site told him they felt I could never be tamed. Was he BSing me again? Or do some of you feel that way? Just curious...but if so...why do you feel that way? Thanks for all input! :)

LTP,
If it is true it is because they aren't Dom enough to be anyone's Dom. Weak minds make weak Doms. Pity jeaulous and a big ego do not make a man or a Dom. Two to one you turned all of them down and they were pissed. Now that I have got all my cattyness out I can say I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Hugs Jade

P.S. You noticed I didn't apologize. :D

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Originally Posted by learningtopleez

P.S. He once told me that several Doms on this site told him they felt I could never be tamed. Was he BSing me again? Or do some of you feel that way? Just curious...but if so...why do you feel that way? Thanks for all input! :)

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It isn't a matter of taming my sweet baby girl, it is all about fit. You will find the "One" someday. Unfortunately sometimes you gotta go through alot of bumps in the road to get there.

Any real Dom would not wish to "tame" or "break" a submissive. Your natural style and enthusiasm is really what makes you special, unique, and oh so lovely. Don't ever change for anyone.
Someday you will find the "One" who will appreciate what you are and work hard to blend His best with yours.


Your friend,

Sir

What someone who sends 'Other people have told me about you...' criticism means:

'Sorry, I can't form my own opinions.'
or possibly
'I can't think of anything nasty and substantial to say, so I'll just resort to vague second-hand allegations.'

Too bloody silly to worry about.

And SirW is dead right I think, it's all about encoutering a Dom who is able to appreciate you. :)

Touche

Nicely put Ranai, and elegantly put SirW.

learningtopleeze ~ ;) luv ya baby. I hope the next Don you find is the real deal, and not just a bump. :D

Caitlin

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Originally Posted by SirW

Any real Dom would not wish to "tame" or "break" a submissive.

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I don't think that's entirely accurate. I believe a real dominant shouldn't have to tame or break a submissive. The submissive should have a desire to serve and obey in the first place.

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Originally Posted by BDSM_Tourguide

I don't think that's entirely accurate. I believe a real dominant should have to tame or break a submissive. The submissive should have a desire to serve and obey in the first place.

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you mean, "shouldn't", right? :o

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Originally Posted by BDSM_Tourguide

I don't think that's entirely accurate. I believe a real dominant should have to tame or break a submissive. The submissive should have a desire to serve and obey in the first place.

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I dont agree completely with that, after all its not all subs who desires to have their will broken. I believe it is possible to teach a sub without having to break them. The way i imagine doing that is by communication, when the sub does something wrong the punishment works better (in my view) if the sub has been convinced that what she/he did was wrong. I dont see that as taming or breaking the sub, but perhaps im wrong? After all i am not sure of all the terms flying around this place :)