Looking for Review (F/f stories)

Hi A/all,
Here's my problem: english isn't my first (native) language, and I speak 3 other languages, so I do my best when I'm writing bondage, specially because of the scenes and details.

Despite I always write a disclaimer about it (top of the fanfiction), people keep saying the grammar or some expression doesn't "sound" right. As I don't have bondagists to talk with and I don't speak english 24hs a day, I'd appreciate if a Domme could help me to review some of my stories.

Sometimes I write more then usual, but is not every week or month. I won't bother. I just would like to have someone to guide me in grammar or expressions so I can post (at bdsmlibrary) in the next day.

Here's one of my stories. I've too other stories I'm working now (both F/f D/s toys reluctant, etc). I'd be very grateful if someone could help.

Thanks.
Enclosed Lady.