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I've always wondered: How do most people meet their sub/dom partner? Luck? Finding someone through an organization? Mutual friends? Did you meet your partner before discovering the common interests?
As someone who is somewhat casually interested in the lifestyle, I was curious how those of you who have "milder" relationships met.
Welcome Dauntless!
I met my first and second r/l Doms on-line...then we met in r/l. With the first I wasn't sure what I was getting into as I was a new subbie...and with the second...I went to alt...just to see what was out there...alot of fakes and some just looking for a one night stand...but I was lucky enough not to meet those in r/l! My Dom and i talked via e-mail first, then by phone...and eventually met for dinner in a very public place. After he and I were both sure we wanted to move forward...we did! Btw...he was a great teacher and continues to be a very good friend. I would say for me...luck on both counts. :D
We met on another message board when I posted a question about writing and he sent me a PM offering to help. The first day we really did talk about writing. But, we had exchanged pics and I knew he was cute and he thought I was too. :) We got to talking and basically stumbled upon our mutual interest in BDSM. He asked if I wanted to see where it would take us and I said yes. He then gave me the name pita and almost 7 months later we are madly in love and looking forward to when we are living together in our D/s life. Only 112 days to go!!! :cheerl:
That's us. We met, fell in love, became a couple. BDSM came later. With hindsight, I'd say we did send out the right erotic signals on the dominance/submission level too, and this formed part of our attraction to each other.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dauntless
Our roles are clearly defined. We don't switch. BDSM is just one of the many aspects our relationship and love life though.
i dropped him a line after reading his profile on informedconsent.co.uk , he was funny, we chatted for 2 days then he came over to play and stayed all night. since then we met at least once a week, he took me to my first munch and clb, now we are 27 months together and i live with him for over 2 years now.
i know playing first time not recommended and such, but it happened, we both had thoughts about it but too late.... but a lot of people knew we were meeting and where.
he met my family to and is invited to my sis's weddng, christianing of her baby and so on. even though this is not home country and my family doesn't live here.
however they don't know he's a perv :D
I met mine through my best friend.
Alura, me, too.
I met a wonderful dom online, we became best friends, then he introduced me to a friend of his. If it hadn't been for Aeneas and I pm'ing and getting to know each, I wouldn't have met Nathaniel.
lol.....You do love him so.... (she keeps reminding me of the days left)Quote:
Originally Posted by His_pita
My husband and I had a very vanilla relationship until about 10 months ago when I discovered the lifestyle and shared my discovery with him and have taken things one step at a time from there. So now he is my Master.
I do have another dom and I met him here through this forum. He has taught Master and I a lot about this lifestyle. We do talk by phone and internet. I have met with him twice with my Master with me. He is a sweetheart (clearing my throat and shifting in my chair)......sometimes :p.
Yeah...I really really do. I'm pretty pathetic right now cause my cell phone's broke so we can't talk. It's only been a day and I feel like my right arm has been torn off.Quote:
Originally Posted by submissivewife
I'm the same as submissivewife. 5 years into a difficult marraige, our love life had gone south....so, after remembering when I had "played" mildly with a former boyfriend....suggested to my husband that we try something new, each trying both roles to see who fit what, he wanted to Top first, and since then (2 years, now!) has adamantly refused to switch with me. Hmmm, I guess he likes it! LOL
I met my master a LONG time ago at a sporting event.
We became casual friends at that time. As time went on, he got a hard on for me. Pursued me. Then we started dating.
After we started dating he asked a little more of me, a little more of me & so on, till one day he asked if I would just be his slave & I agreed.
I've told it before, but here goes...
My g/f was my best friend for a couple years. She was married and didn't cheat and I never considered her an option so we used to talk about a lot, including my colorful sexual background. When she left her husband (a complete surprise) we got together almost immediately. I had always thought she was a little "prudish", until she made a comment early on that "It's to bad you don't have a headboard to tie me to" That was 3 years ago. We live together now and I just finished construction on a nice little attic dungeon. It's been a blast and I wouldn't even consider a vanilla relationship again.
I met my Master online through alt a little more than two years ago. It was a chance meeting though because he had sent me a pm through there and I'd never answered one before...or since. We talked via the internet and phone for several weeks and then we met in person at a very public place. Things went great that first night and a week later we signed a contract which made him my Master and then my submissive training commenced. :p Two years later we're both extremely happy with each other and we'll be tying the knot in the not so distant future. :)
~Artemis~
We met about 2 years ago through mutual friends and fell in love, and then he discovered that I was into BDSM. He is a cop in the military and had a pair of handcuffs, I was looking at them, always secretly wanting him to put them on me, but never having the guts to ask. He put them on me intending it only to be a joke and then leaned over to kiss me. We ended up having a fierce make out session, and he learned from that how crazy I got when I was restrained. He then started holding me down during play and it just escalated from there ;) . He's not as into the BDSM lifestyle as I am, but he's learning more and more each time and slowly getting more and more into being a Dom. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Dauntless
Hello everyone, 'tis my first post here... :)
We met each other on the Internet about two years ago, got to know each other better, met in real life, and stayed together since then. I've always known 'bout my need to be dominated, I can't imagine myself being anything else but sub, so when we had sex for the first time and he said he's gonna tie me up, I almost came immediately... Well, yeah, since then... It all went as it should be. I've been spanked, tied in so many ways I can't even remember and he is teaching me to be an obedient pet.
:)
Welcome kitty.:)
My submissive and I met at a party. It's funny because neither one of us wanted to be there, but got dragged along by a friend. We started talking and had a blast joking and laughing the whole night. I called her a few days later, set up a date, and 5 years later we're married. :D
I just starting talking to a new Dom which I met on the internet. My last Dom was also from the internet and we lasted for 4 years until he had to moved and I couldn't go with him.
i met my master online after lots and lots of research on bdsm.
i knew i was interested in D/s, and did lots of research on the internet, through books, and through forums. after i knew EXACTLY what i wanted, i posted as a sub on a forum mostly in my area. of course, i got lots and lots of replies, but i weeded out the ones i knew i did not want, and finally found the master that was exactly right for me and my needs/wants as a sub. we do not live together but meet every other weekend (as we are 4 hours apart)
we have been together a year and he has been everything i desired in a Master, and according to him, i have been his every desire in a sub....
MBjasmine
I met both my girls on forums. They made posts that were intriguing & interesting, & wrote bondage fiction, as do I.
My slave girl sent me PM on my birthday, which was lovely. We started playing, & now have an established relationship.
As for my dream girl, a similar story, she was writing an erotic story & we started PMing each other. We tried an online D/s thing that didn't work. We just chat now, every day & talk on the phone each week. Mostly we talk about how we'd love to be together if I wasn't married, & all the things I'd do to her...:hubba:
We are planning a r/l meeting, which i'm looking forward to- just for a bit of play & to see each other. I might give her a hug & a kiss....
Tojo
Here, almost six months ago, talking about writing and other things. :bondage:
I met my Master in Oct. 2004 through alt. I had returned at the end of Sept. from Belgium where I had spent three weeks visiting my on-line Master and my sister slave. After seeing the relationship that they had I knew I wanted more than what I was getting on-line. I came back hoping to find myself a real life Master with whom I could build a life. So with encouragement from my on-line Master and sister slave I placed my profile at alt when I got home.
I received quite a few responses but there was something special about the one I got from him. I never expected to find the Dom who would fit my needs and desires so quickly but from the very first e-mails we exchanged I thought he could be the one and when we met face to face, well I knew for sure. He was and is everything I had hoped for and wanted in a Master, best friend and lover. I have never had any doubts about accepting his collar and have worn it proudly since Jan 2005.
I have had subs and slaves over the last 35 years, most from meeting them without any help. I knew what I was looking for and became quite skilled at finding women who were submissive but didn't know it yet.
2 marriages later though I found my current love and now slave through the net. A Domme friend of mine had me go to an adult dating site and after reading through 200 or so profiles I found her.
Now she is driving me crazy and I am loving it. She wanted a Daddy Dom but actually needed my old hardcore self first to train her to be what she wants to be.
She is lovely and intelligent with a painslut tendency that she is now admitting too. I have loved causing pain in limited doses but all ways hated the whip or flogger. Dear sweet mom used a rubber hose cut to a long cat of nine tails on me as a teen since then the thought of them made me ill. Last week though because she begged me so sweetly I used her soft suede flogger on her and what do you know I am a natural, or so she says.
Any ways I am deeply in love with what can only be described as a brat, enjoying being with her and guiding her to the slave she wants and needs to be.
I will give you updates, since it has been a roller coaster ride so far.
My subs were my friends at uni we discovered we had mutual interests in those things and I aggreed to be their dom.
i met my husband at a party at a mutual friend's house and we had a pure vanilla relationship for years. i have always been very submissive and have always enjoyed being tied up during sex and so, throughout our relationship, i would mention it from time to time. it has really only been the last few years that we have started to live this lifestyle more and more. He enjoys it now though He was slow to come around at first!
We met through my best friend... but we discovered our love of the lifestyle on our own, once we were together as a couple.
I met my boyfriend (turned violent dom) at a party. I was rather tired and drunk and he hooked up with me thinking that I was a female. As he took my clothes off in the bathroom he discovered my penis and was pleasantly surprised. He took me to his place and let me sleep off the alcohol. When I woke he talked to me about creating a relationship. Everything went from there.
I was 19 when I met my first dom at a party which was hosted by a friend. My friend introduced me to a male and said that he was into 'kinky' stuff. I was interested so I introduced myself. We ended up leaving the party and went to a cafe to talk about similar interests. He told me that he was a dom and that he was looking for a sub. He told me that he liked things rough and preceded to show me in the bathroom of the cafe. He introduced me to a whole new world. At times he was extremely harsh and other times he was loving and caring. The sub/dom relationship last for two years until I finally decided to leave him.
When W/we met it was online as friends and from there W/we quickly turned into online lovers and the BDSM just recently happened. i am so grateful to have such an incredible Woman as my Domme *really really big smile*
frankee
Proud sub of Mistress Cindy:rose:
I met 's' online when she was looking for a Dom.
There is a large age difference between us (23 years) and I wasn't looking for a young sub and 's' wasn't looking for a much older Dom.
She was in need of advice and I helped where I could and before long I was setting her tasks.
We communicated by email, messenger and phone for nearly 3 months before she asked to meet me :)
We met in a very public place for dinner and never stopped talking. She came home with me that night and we haven't looked back since.
Ingvi
I met my master and mistress through a mutual friend-a Tom named "Tom" who chased me into their garden. He told me they would take pity on me and give me a home if he was nasty to me. I like nasty! It makes my tail curl.
~purrs~