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Please excuse my curiousity, but I've gotta know. Is it really possible for a submissive to be "trained" to the point that he/she will come upon demand. I understand how one could be trained not to come until given permission, but can the mind really reach the point that mere permission, without physical stimulation, will cause an orgasm? As you can probably tell, I lead a vanilla lifestyle, but I'm really intrigued by the dom/sub relationship.
Sassy
This is a toughie and I can only speak for myself.Quote:
Originally Posted by fantassy
I'm a firm believer that sex occurs first in the mind, mental foreplay, all day long, all week long, or maybe an hour before play, but first in the mind.
If you can get wet or hard during this period of foreplay, being given the permission to cum is just a trigger response and physical stimulation is an afterthought.
The cum (for me) is not as intense as it is with physical stimulation, but the high before, during, and after, is so *looks dreamy intense, it is worth trying to get there. And that is the hook.
Well I'll excuse your curiosity fantassy, that's what the place is for, unless I'm much mistaken.:wel
My theory is that no one could have an orgasm unless they were turned on enough to do so.
Just a theory mind you, but one of my favourite pastimes is teasing & teasing my susy, then (sometimes) giving her permission to go all the way.
I just can't see how it would be possible until the window of opportunity was open, so to speak, as in being turned on enough.
Tojo
Look at it this way - everyone is different and needs different stimulation. Some females cannot cum without direct clit stimulation, but some can cum from just nipple play. If you can become aroused and wet from words alone, it would not take much 'practice' to also get you to also cum from words alone, and then it becomes a simple matter to make it 'cum on demand'.
I disagree with the previous poster about the 'quality'.
O-Control is my kink. Having taught someone to cum on demand, there are many variations that can be added. For example:
"Get on edge for me - but don't cum"
"Have a small O for me now"
"Have a big O for me now"
"Cum for me now, and don't stop - you will keep cumming until it hurts, and then even more"
And for the really cruel Master:
"Cum for me now" and the moment she starts: "STOP cumming immediately!!"
(Listening and watching her struggle now is amazing:) )
The 'quality' of these O's are very different to ones from masturbation or sex - they come from the mind and submission. To have another have control over a very private and personal body function is extremely powerful.
The above takes a close bond of love and trust. The sub doesn't 'make' any of these things happen - she opens her mind to allow the words/suggestions control her body.
With training and experience there is also the most wonderful experience - I call it the 'total body O'. With words and touch, it is possible to spread the arousal in the pussy through the whole body. Every part of the body feels the arousal building, tingling and need. When orgasm is eventually allowed, it is felt everywhere from the toes to the fingertips - and everywhere in between. :)
Altho I have had no experience in this area, it seems that it is less likely to train a male to cum-on-demand than a female. I find this strange because during pubity, it is the male that has wet dreams (hands-free) but the male seems to need a very definite physical stimulation later in life.
Brosco
PS: Please ask more if you wish. Its my favorite topic and I could talk all day:)
pps: Purely using O-control/cum-on=demand, I have managed to make a sub cum 30 times in 8 hours - yes, I counted.
I think I know you from another forum :) good to see you:)
Sorry that I need to disagree with you, but cum-on-demand does not necessarily need any physical stimulation previously. In a D/s relationship, my sub was 'trying it on' with bratty behaviour. Of course, I had a number of options, but i used the "Cum for me immediately" and not only did she do so, but it was a wonderful tool to remind her who was in control of her mind and body.
This is fun. My last Master started off with two weeks of mental preparation to introduce cumming from just a word. Then he would have me masturbate as I was talking to him on the phone and use a word a my permission word to orgasm. At first, I didn't know what was going on but once he explained to me what he was doing I loved it. First time he used the word outside of my masturbating I was shoked how my body reacted. Sometimes he would use the word over and over that would cause my orgasm to intensify, that was wonderful.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brosco
He'd call me at certain times of the day and just say the word, and no matter where I was I would cum. Mind you, like Nikita said, not like I would with physical contact but it was nice and perfectly embarrassing while walking around Wal-Mart.:rolleyes:
sub'wife (if i may abbrev)Quote:
Originally Posted by submissivewife
Of course its not the same - its apples and oranges, impossible to compare. One is physical, and the other is from the mind. But if it is the only chance you get to cum, it becomes a powerful part of your submission.
Brosco
(sorry, i warned you all ... its my fave topic:) )
I believe that it is mindset for me. With my Dom, I can cum with His whisper in my ear!! It is the pleasure of being controlled and letting go!!
You may abbreviate.....most do anyway....so I have started to do the same. I just look at it as a new nickname; seems I have a lot of them lately. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Brosco
How interesting. I have fantasy upon fantasy about this, but I've never been sure that it can actually happen. I am very happy to read that others have experience in this and that maybe one day it can happen to me, too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brosco
Feel free to disagree Brosco, whatever I say is only my opinion- I haunt these forums for material, & to sometimes try & give some back.
Life is a constant learning process.
(Hey I hope I was well-behaved in that other forum?)
Back to topic- when I said I believe someone has to be 'turned on' I don't mean just physically- I still believe someone would have to be in some sort of appropriate mindset. I certainly believe it's possible to be turned on by a word or even a look, instantly. I'd take some convincing that anyone can instantly orgasm when they're completely 'out of the loop' as it were.
I need proof guys!
Tojo
Ah, ok, I understand you now.
I would agree that it would be impossible to make someone cum 100% of the time regardless of circumstances ... but in a 24/7 D/s relationship there would be very few exceptions.
And... LOL ... yes you seem well behaved elsewhere - I think it was at Gromet's site and I read a story by you in the forums.
I'm not sure about that... If you actually have enough access to a person, are willing to use certain brainwashing techniques, and spent enough time on the conditioning, I have no doubt you can build in the necessary physical responses to totally control a person's orgasmic response.
Lacking all that though.... isn't it fun trying.
...and isn't control what the D/s relationship is about? Orgasm control is just a subset of that control.
Charisma... if you're that interested, go looking in the personals... or write one yourself.
Where is this tutorial on "Cum on Demand". I have a Sub here chomping at the bit...
No tutorial that I know of. My top just make me practice. *smile* CD is a big help, too. I encourage you to read the whole thread and improvise. :bondage:Quote:
Originally Posted by VixeyandPhoenix
I don't know about others....But all my lord needs to do is to grab me from behind put his hand to my neck, give me a gentle squeeze to remind me of his crotroll and whisper in my ear to give him what is his.....This has sent me way or the edge more then once.
Poptart
Just you discribing this almost had me over the edge......Quote:
Originally Posted by poptart
This is how I was trained.....First start with, withholding her desire to cum, and when your ready to let her, tell her, but use the same words everytime, also a light squeeze to her neck or a pull of her hair while your telling her to cum. Or whatever physical singnal works for you and her, After awhile of that, then just grab her up one day out of no where and use the same words, same tone and same physical signal, It may take a some time but if she really associates those actions with cuming then she (hopefully) will do it when ever you demand her to.Quote:
Originally Posted by VixeyandPhoenix
My Lord wants to and has told me he will do this to me in the store sometime, Damn just the thought of it being so public turns me on....
poptart
Yep! Associative training.
There are a lot of ways to approach it. That works.
I like to add another step first. My approach involves training your sub to come often and easily, also with an associated tone or turn of words and physical contact. Then, proceed to orgasm denial, allowing release only with the necessary words and contact.
I find that to be especially effective.
Ahh. That may explain why I've been having so much trouble with this. Pet is one hard nut to crack, requiring manual stimulation until my hand starts to cramp before she climaxes.Quote:
Originally Posted by ozme52
Too many people try to make their girl cum by stimulating her themselves. Well, no one rubs you better than you. So, have your girl stimulate herself.Quote:
Originally Posted by TheThinMan
As has been suggested, not allowing them to climax until commanded is key. Make them suffer with the need and then, when they are about ready to burst, tell them to cum. Always use the same word/phrase. I always command my girl to "cum for me".
The interesting part of this is that, once they are trained in this manner, you can train them to cum to certain words. This can be particularly frustrating (for her) when a stranger or acquaintance speaks the word and your girl has a quiet (maybe) moment of embarrassing bliss. The trick with word association is to replace the word "cum" with the word "watermelon", or whatever fun word you use. When they need to cum they must ask "may I watermelon", which sounds stupid, at first. Eventually, it will work. I've noticed that those who resist the strongest tend to be those who are also most succeptable.
Dean
This may become a hot topic... we have a real difference of opinion, at least as to how to start. LOL
I agree with H. You should have her masterbate for you. A lot. But I suggest you demand that she come as fast as she can. When she does, praise and reward her as you would any pet for obeying. Make sure you begin that praise while she is in the midst of her orgasm and that you include your "command phrase."
Later, you can begin to exert control with denial. Then the association previously established between the orgasm and the command phrase will be all the more powerful.
So we do. I have found that it doesn't really matter how fast she reaches that point. In fact, I tend to draw it out by making her stop when she does not want to. In all my experiences this heightens her sexual need. The pressure to reach that point can sometimes be of hinderance. Once she is accustomed to masturbating in front of you, to your voice and command, those orgasms will come in very short time spans.Quote:
Originally Posted by ozme52
In other words: don't rush her. Make her stop when it feels good. Make her beg to rub herself again. Then repeat. It's like washing hair only more fun.
I see the makings of a quasi-scientific experiment here. Hmmmm, we'd need several untrained ladies for each training method and a control group. LOL
I wonder how many volunteers we could get. :rolleyes:
Hmm, there seems t be a crowd outside my door. See what you started?Quote:
Originally Posted by ozme52
Well, it's in the name of science.
Where do I sign up? :D
Well, since I was the newbie who started this thread, first I want to thank you all for responding. Second, I feel it is my duty to participate in the experiment. Brosco has kindly volunteered to try his training method on me. Since this is my first non-vanilla experience, I should be a good test case. We'll be sure to post our results - all for the sake of science, of course :)Quote:
Originally Posted by ozme52
fantassy
Quote:
Originally Posted by vistana
As it says under my avatar.... I'm taking applications. :rolleyes:
Ok, I will share a few techniques that we use for orgasm on demand. It doesn't happen often. When it does, it is mind blowing and if you can multiple orgasm, oh WOW!
Dom should task with wanking assignments like this:
Wank in parking lot of department store until you almost come, then stop.
Wank in every room in the house until you almost come, then stop.
Wank for 15-20 minutes 4 or 5 times a day, then stop.
You get the idea. The sub should be in a constant state of arousal.
This should be supplemented by reading hot mails from dom, viewing porn, whatever else makes them hot and aroused.
Then, when play time comes, guess what? If they cum too fast, put them on the same regimen again. If they cum on command, mission accomplished.
Practice is encouraged. ;whip
Sounds delicious!!!