Opinions pls....subs to Doms?

So i was having a discussion with my husband last night about the BDSM lifestyle ( see Married Vanilla thread to better understand THAT situation) and he said along the lines of....

all females start out young and submissive but they always end up as Mistresses when they're older......

now i don't really agree with that, but i wondered what E/everyone else thought?

i understand where his thought process comes from.....most submissives are young females...although i know of more male submissives then female....but it is rare (at least in my world) that i come across a middle age submissive female.

i personally think that more or less the submissive females start out young, try it out for a couple years and then revert back to vanilla life.....especially when they don't find a true Master soon enough. Cuz W/we all know woman are some impatient bitches, lol.

i'm young, a mere 20, but i've always been submissive. i used to really like getting kidnapped in the war games i played with my cousins. i also always found rape scenes extremely erotic, but thought that was wrong of me, because well rape is supposed to be bad. so i don't forsee myself ever becoming Dominant.

my thing is, it's a challenge to get my ultimate submission. i mean the prize is me submitting to You, yes i want You to work for it at least a little. but i promise it's well worth it ;)

but please, E/everyone, let me know what Y/ya'll think......

2 words...Ack! PBTHTHTH!

I have come to the realization that, due to my very strict upbringing, that I still need to be "under the thumb"...left to my own devices, I am totally lost. I NEED to be controlled, told what to do...or I would self-destruct.

I guess I can classify myself as middle age, 36, and I am no where near being a dominant. I crave to please and need to serve someone. After some real time experience and some time in the Academy, I have come to realize the gender of the Dom/me isn't important.

*giggles at His slut's response*

At 36 i am still a submissive at heart and i think i always will be.

I'm 31 *wonders whether that fits middle age* :confused:...anyway, I've only discovered this (submissive) side of me last year, but looking back I should have been able to see the signs earlier. I could never in my life imagine myself as a domme...it's not in me. Teasing - yes, domming - not for the life of me. ;)

Well I know a few subs (suprise surprise) & the vast majority spend half their lives searching for a decent Dom.

Perhaps many just give up & settle for a life of plain sex...or stay single?

According to my friend Jane, this is typical of what's on offer.


Tojo

*gulps heavily at that Santa pic* somehow that reminds me of the desperate (and terribly funny) scene in the movie 'secretary' where she goes looking for a dom...you just don't know whether to cry, scream or laugh uncontrollably. ;)

Hey there nymph..."most submissives are young females?"

At 48 it's taken me most of my life to realize i'm submissive. I enjoy being controlled, but did not realize it until a very adept Dominant brought it out in me at age 40.

I also have a friend on this forum who is 53 and submissive.

It's not really that rare to be a submissive female in middle-age.

"secretary" was such a great movie...in my opinion....

Quote:

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"secretary" was such a great movie...in my opinion....

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Couldn't agree more. :)

My angel is 47 gorgeous and sooooooooooo submissive it makes my knees weak thinking about it. Steroetypes are everywhere. I find for everyone that resembles the stereotype I meet another 5 that don't.

For me it seems to be a case of there's nothing new under the sun and never say never.

Actually come to think of it, one of the sexiest girls I know is 48 years old....


Tojo

I don't know that anyone turns anything. It comes from knowing yourself very well and being comfortable in your own skin. At 37 I am by far the most self confident I have ever been and I have no problems attracting people. I would have said I was always very submissive but now that I am older I like to play the other side of the fence too.

I just think some people come to know themselves at different times and for some women it means when they are older they are more comfortable being in charge.

Pfttt is my initial thought.

The more homework we do, the more people we meet,
we find so many submissives of all ages, searching for the right dom. Not just any dom, but the one that's right for them.

He said something like, " all females start out young and submissive but they always end up as Mistresses when they're older."

I disagree.

Visit www.collarme.com, www.alt.com, or any of the sites where people are seeking partners and you'll find "youth" is in the eye of the beholder.

For me, "young" is 10 years or more younger than me
and "old" is at least 10 years older than I am.

Since I know lots of submissive females older than me, I'd say this stereotype doesn't ring true.

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Tojo, as usual, you are right on target.

The only thing that rings true about it for me is that I've encountered very few compatent young dominants (of either gender, and its fair to say there are less Dom women than men), quite frankly. Young being, in my eyes, 25 or younger. (No, that doesn't make 26 old.) In that sense I certainly haven't seen a lot of evidence of good young Dommes out there in any sizeable number.

To a degree people can change over time but I don't think there's any real set style to it based off age or gender. 18 months ago I couldn't have Dom'd (well) for anything. Now, I think I certainly could. Depends totally on the headspace of the individual. In my case I once thought of myself as a sub but as I grew in confidence and self belief under some fine guidance, I discovered other parts of myself that were in the Dom half... I am sure many switches could take a similar path.

Timberwolf, You can practice on me ;) *giggles* yes i know totally inappropriate.

Be careful what you wish for.

*giggles and blushes at Timberwolf*

well my point to the thread wasn't that i in anyway agreed with my husband's statement, i was just wondering if anybody else felt similar.....

i am new to the online community, which is HUGE, so this did make me realize how little i knew about the variety of people involved.....it's good to know that there are submissives and slaves out there that stand up against and beautifully beat us youngins in this territory.....it's also encouraging because i sincerely hope to feel this way twenty years down the road.......

thank Y/you all for the responses!!!!!!

xoxo