Submissive Journals

Again if has already been discussed, please point me there....

I would like to know everyones opinion of submissive journals? I know that i have my training Pet keep one. it takes too forms, one that she keeps that has a lock on it on her bed side stand, the other is an privet on-line blog that only she and i have access too (yeah i know, anyone could if they really wanted but is under nick names and such). anyway, she is to have the on-line one filled out everyday by noon so that i can read it from work.

I like to think that it helps us better understand each other and our wants/desires from the D/s side of our relationship. Plus, it is always easier to write somethings then it is to speak them. Even though i read it, i try not to let it show but tuck the info away for future knowledge of how she feels. In other words, i will never punish her for what she writes there.

It also helps for her to go back and read it to see how she has grown, changed in the relationship over time.

So, whats your idea or take on this?

Havensov

I have a journal- mine is a daily email to Kane - At first I thought of it as a daily task and whilst I guess I still send it daily it is my way of being with him , sharing my thoughts and feelings of the day, so it no longer seems a task and is a big part of my life.

Something happens and my first thought is usually I must tell him about that tonight. I love writing to him especially if we have spoken on the phone that day as I relive the phone call and put into written words how he made me feel.

mmmmmm, drifting and dreaming :)

minx x

I write in a journal semi-daily(some days i just cant bring myself to put words down). Not perhaps a submissive journal, though some of my thoughts on submission are in there. It's more of a personal journal, trying to figure out the crazy thing that is my mind.

I think you can get a lot of useful information from journals or diaries and I believe they do serve a useful purpose. I have very heard recently that making them be in too much detail can take away from the fun of the activity by having to either make notes on the run so nothing is forgotten or racking your brain later so nothing is missed.

I believe there may be a happy medium ground and if you and your sub have found that compromise then it works for you and that is all that is really necessary to make you both happy. However if it becomes a chore, no longer enjoyable to either one or both of you, then something must change. Until that time, if ever, enjoy.

I require one.

First it allows me insights into what's going on in her head that I would more likely be aware of if we were together. She often confesses feelings and concerns in it that I would otherwise have totally missed during the conversation, or that she hid from me at the time, and helps me keep her on track... and me on target.

Secondly, recounting her activities and feelings reminds her of and reinforces her submissive nature, which she is in the process of discovering. Sometimes, by the end of a journal entry, I can see she has already resolved her concerns and is in a better state of mind. And I often see the subtle results during our next conversation. Yes... a journal is almost a neccesity.

Third, one of her jobs is to entertain me. The journal is one of the venues she has available to her.

I have a private on-line journal that my Master instructed me to start. For the most part, it's private even from him, though if I feel he needs to know something I wrote, or just want to share something with him, then I'll email him a copy of the entry. It's mostly just so I have a venue to get out my thoughts in complete privacy (though we have talked about the possibility of it being more public in the future. You might think that a sub shouldn't have anything completely private from her Master, but be assured that if it's anything "bad" or that's really bugging me, I tell him about it.

That said, it's not a daily thing by any means. I'm also not that skilled in verbally communicating my feelings all the time so, when something really makes me think, it's much easier to write it out. I tell you, though, if I didn't have it, I'm sure I'd have a lot less peace of mind just from the myriad of thoughts ping ponging around in my brain.

So...yeah. To me, it's definitely a positive thing. :)

My Sir has asked me to keep a journal this week while he is away. It will allow him to keep track of me. It will keep me busy (not that I *ever* get into trouble when I am idle).

But more importantly, to me anyway, is that it gives me a way to focus on him, to feel connected to him, even when he isn't around. I have other tasks to complete in his absence (see trouble comment above), and the journal gives me a medium to immediately share the experience with him, even if he isn't around for several days. Much better than trying to remember everything and telling him all at once.

It also allows me to take stock of my feelings. Often times it will take me a while to sort through things, either our relationship, a scenes, or just any little thing, and the epiphany will come to me some time later. Like when I am at work, or driving or something. By journaling, he gets to find out about all of these thoughts and feelings that occur when he isn't around.

That being said, I am sure there are submissives that don't like to write, and that journalling would be a huge chore for. In that case I think you would have to negotiate a solution. I don't think it would be nearly as affective is she viewed it negatively.

-lily

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Originally Posted by lily{M_B}

That being said, I am sure there are submissives that don't like to write, and that journalling would be a huge chore for. In that case I think you would have to negotiate a solution. I don't think it would be nearly as affective is she viewed it negatively.

-lily

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But if one had a masochistic sub who did not like to write, wouldn't a journal be a fine way to solve the "punishing a masochist" dilemma?

Just a thought.
muse

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Originally Posted by Dragon's muse

But if one had a masochistic sub who did not like to write, wouldn't a journal be a fine way to solve the "punishing a masochist" dilemma?

Just a thought.
muse

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I am sure it would (stop giving them ideas! - lol).

However, I would expect that the revelations a journal provides when it is written by someone who enjoys it, would be much greater that those by someone who is doing it because she "has to."

It all depends on what your goal is.

Because, once in a while, i have the tiniest bit of an "inner smart azz", i once had to write 1000 times

*i will not hum the theme from Jeopardy while Dragon is selecting which flogger he wants to use on me.*

That certainly got my attention. i like to journal, and write fiction and poetry, but that repetetive sentence over and over was pure torture.

*i will not hum the theme from Jeopardy while Dragon is selecting which flogger he wants to use on me.*

That is freaking hilarious!!!!

ROFL!!!

I mean...ummm....that was very bad of you. *shakes finger*


*giggles*

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Originally Posted by lily{M_B}

*i will not hum the theme from Jeopardy while Dragon is selecting which flogger he wants to use on me.*

That is freaking hilarious!!!!

ROFL!!!

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It is but muse doesn't seem to like the punishment. You know what they say, if you can't do the time, don't do the crime. Do you think she ever hummed it again?

Ouch tough punishment.. still though.. humming the Jeopardy theme.. that sounds like something i'd do!

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Originally Posted by Warbaby1943

It is but muse doesn't seem to like the punishment. You know what they say, if you can't do the time, don't do the crime. Do you think she ever hummed it again?

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I would be tempted to do it again the next time he was selecting a cane...


"But, Sir....you only specified I couldn't do it with the FLOGGERS...."

Warbaby, i admit to thinking about it. Haven't actually gotten up the nerve to do it again.

Lily, nice idea, i think i will let you give that one a road test. i hate writer's cramp.

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Originally Posted by Dragon's muse

Warbaby, i admit to thinking about it. Haven't actually gotten up the nerve to do it again.

Lily, nice idea, i think i will let you give that one a road test. i hate writer's cramp.

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At least this time you have some idea what to expect. If you ever do, please let us know again.

writing as a punishment? oh the horror of it all!! ~giggles~ although i have to admit that writing the same sentence 1000 times would probably make me think twice about repeating the offense again. humming the Jeopardy theme while an implement is being selected does sound rather amusing and tempting though!! lol i've been asked to write a short paper before as part of a punishment...but never to write lines.

as for keeping a journal. i, personally, don't have one but i can definitely see how they would be helpful when it comes to communication in a relationship. whether it is a journal for her eyes only...as just a way to get out pent up emotions and feelings, or a required journal for the Dom to read regularly. either way i can see how it would be beneficial. :)

Along the lines of writing as punishment, I enjoy writing alot. If used as a punishment, twould have to be something boring like lines, or research based. Just to have to write in general would never work as a punishment for me.

i have been asked to keep a daily journal & early in the relationship, had been reluctant to do so. sheepish mentioned that sometimes it's hard to write down the thoughts you have in your head & i find this to be very true. somehow, writing things down makes those personal things too real.

i try to write in the journal as if he weren't reading it...that way, i'm writing for myself and not in a coy or untrue way. but sometimes i do find it difficult to even be honest with myself about newly-found submissive feelings. writing in the journal helps me sort out these things and his response to the journals always keeps us better connected.

hmmm...writing as punishment, though? i had to laugh at the image flashing through my head of you singing the jeopardy theme song, dragon's muse in that specific situation.

cookiecat

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Originally Posted by cookiecat

i have been asked to keep a daily journal & early in the relationship, had been reluctant to do so. sheepish mentioned that sometimes it's hard to write down the thoughts you have in your head & i find this to be very true. somehow, writing things down makes those personal things too real.

cookiecat

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I often used to find that if writing things I wasn't quite ready to fully accept myself.

You might want to try writing the journal in third person (ie. he/she as opposed to I/you)

As stupid as it sounds, i often find it easier to write a 'story' as opposed to a 'diary'

Not sure if that will help ...

Personally i think submissive journals are an excellent way to get feelings out of you, even things that are extremely difficult to speak about. Not everyone can write about those feelings as easily than others, but I still think it's a great tool in helping one discover who they are, and mapping where they came from, and how they are becoming who they want to be.

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Originally Posted by cookiecat

hmmm...writing as punishment, though? i had to laugh at the image flashing through my head of you singing the jeopardy theme song, dragon's muse in that specific situation.

cookiecat

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Honestly, i don't reccomend it. But he opted writing the sentences for the punishment because he was laughing so hard he would not have been able to swing any implement very hard.

He could have made you hum "It's a Small World" for an hour...

Talk about a mind-worm.

You might have ended up in sub-space with no possible return...

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Originally Posted by Ozme52

He could have made you hum "It's a Small World" for an hour...

Talk about a mind-worm.

You might have ended up in sub-space with no possible return...

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Better that than what he threatened me with once, a long time ago. He said He was going to tie me to a chair and make me watch every single one of his nephew's Barney the Dinosaur videos.

upon that threat, i hit my personal best on the skill of groveling.

heh heh

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Originally Posted by Dragon's muse

Because, once in a while, i have the tiniest bit of an "inner smart azz", i once had to write 1000 times

*i will not hum the theme from Jeopardy while Dragon is selecting which flogger he wants to use on me.*

That certainly got my attention. i like to journal, and write fiction and poetry, but that repetetive sentence over and over was pure torture.

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ROFL
That's hilarious! I would so do something like that, glad to hear he had a wonderful sense of humor about it.

Those Masters who have required a journal have given wonderful reasoning for it. I'm impressed with the desire to communicate and understand their subs. Very loving.

~giggles~

So very BAD yet so VERY Funny LMAO