VERY SHORT story femdom

Hi. I wrote this story for a myspace group forum earlier today. i know it's not the best, but is it even passable? What do you think?





(PLEASE NOTE, THERE IS A CONTRADICTION IN THE STORY: I EXPLAIN THAT HER TOES ARE EXPOSED THROUGH HER HEELS AND LATER ALSO SAY SHE IS WEARING STOCKINGS. IT CAN BE IMPLIED THAT HER STOCKINGS ARE CUT OFF AT THE FOOT; FEEL FREE TO USE YOUR IMAGINATION, OR SIMPLY IGNORE THE MINOR CONTRADICTION)


In the fantasy, I've been in my old apartment building's basement, doing laundry in the laundry room. It'll be extremely late, maybe 3 AM when I'll hear the noise of boots approaching slowly. The noise will get louder, until the woman comes into the room. She'll have open toed high heels and beautiful feet/skin. She'll be very pale and very tall: About 6"2" with blue/gray eyes and jet black hair. She'll make me feel very uneasy with her presence, and walk towards me. Often in the fantasy, she shoves me up against a wall, just to see how wimpy my reaction would be. Taking pleasure in watching my nervousness, she'll pin me against the wall. If I try to talk, I'll be choked.
How I get to her feet is always different, but sometimes, she'll just start to choke me and not want to stop. She'll see how weak I am, and I guess she knocks me out. I'll wake up at her feet, and I'll be collared. She'll see me wake up and say "Hands and knees!". If I don't obey her command, I'll usually have the choke collar tugged on hard. When I'm on my hands and knees, she'll ask me if I like her feet. Nervous and confused, I'll say yes, and go on for a good amount of time about why they're so nice. I'll talk about the black nailed toes and the softness and the color and how I didn't know a woman who had to walk around in such hard shoes could have such soft feet, and how the bottoms of her feet were so soft and didn't have any ugly, unattractive callouses or imperfections.
She'll have a sort of smirk on her face... it'll be a European looking face with a sort of dark, brooding look. When I look up at it though, I get choked horribly, and quickly learn to stay down, looking at her feet. Finally, I'll be ordered to kiss them. I'll obey the order with confusion and delight, kissing each toe at first and then moving to the foot itself. I'll lift her feet to get good angles, never missing her ankles or the sides in general. I'll take one of her feet out of the shoe one at a time, and carefully bring it to my mouth. I'll lick the bottoms of her feet and assure her of how great she tastes. By the second foot, I'll be licking the bottoms when it will all of the sudden be shoved into my mouth. I'll gag a little as she'll fit as much of her foot into my mouth as she can. I'll kiss her legs through her stockings, licking them and looking for delicious sweat pockets, like the backs of her knees which I'll lick fiercely. When I go to high, she'll have no problem pushing me back down.
Eventually, She'll end up sitting down on a chair. I'll sit on the floor, at her feet. By now, I'll be rubbing/kissing her feet while we wait for our laundry. When it comes out, I'll be invited to come to her place. Once there, instead of getting what I thought would be a nice vaginal fuck, she'll gag me, tie me to a table, bend me over it, and fuck me fast and hard with a vibrating strap on. She'll get a couple intense orgasms, but I'll be in pretty bad pain since she was clumsy with sticking it in me too fast. When she's finally done, I won't be able to move for a few minutes- I'll have to stand perfectly still because it hurt so bad.
Generally, things end with her spitting on my ass and eventually untying me. She'll order me to curl into a ball and sleep at her feet like a dog. I'll do so happily: Though sore, I'll have a great time kissing and licking her feet as she lies down. I'll ask her if she liked it, and this usually results in her only show of affection: She comes down to where I am, kisses me on the cheek, spanks my ass and goes back to lying down with her feet in my face. I rarely get an orgasm in the fantasy, because that's not what's important. Though I go to bed with a throbbing, unfulfilled cock, I've finally found a woman I can have fun with and that's enough for me.

Looks like a good concept to me, a good, very intense fantasy!

The concept and the details are great. All you would have to do to turn it into a great story is get specific with a few things. The places where your fantasies are different, pick one scenario and go with it.

Nice work! I'm going to forward it to my boyfriend to give him some ideas. ;-)

haha, thanks a lot. They like me! They like me! lol

That's quite a fantasy.

You would have made a wonderful pet in my section of Lord Mobius's dungeon. I have a feeling that Mistress Elizabeth and I might have had a catfight to determine who would get to keep you chained to which bed. Mmmmmmmmmmeeeeeow!

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2430

Write on!

yay! Thanks a lot Ruby and everyone :)

Ruby how do I do the thing you sent me? Is it part of the roleplay forum? I'm a newbie :-(

Hi dynamicbuttler,

The "New Lord Mobius's Dungeon" was a very active role playing thread on this forum. We had members requesting to be subs or masters in the dungeon, lots of ongoing storylines and a great deal of fun. Check it out for ideas. The further you get into the thread, the more you'll see the story lines evolve from "quickies" into story arcs.

Since that dungeon is currently inactive, you may want to begin a new role playing thread. You can even use the fantasy you've described in this thread as a place to begin. I would modify it from the way it's written to more of a first person active story:

Last night, at 3 am, I was doing laundry in the basement room of my apartment building. ...

Check out what others have done and see if you want to join in a current role play or seek a domme to help you with a new one.

Whether you participate as a reader or writer, have fun!

Ruby

Yes you did a great job. Please continue your writing I am sure we would all appreciate your imaginitive ideas.

Yay! Thanks for liking it! I started a Role Play Topic based off it as suggested. Anyone willing to play a domme is welcome... I need one at least but there's no real limit. Sorry if I constructed the role play topic wrong, it's my first time. Anyway, as I said, dommes are very welcome there. PS: I should have a new story soon.