K - the use of Kiss in BDSM

ok.. We're not talking Keep It Simple Stupid here. That's no fun in BDSM. -- chuckles.

We're talking the use of a kiss in BDSM.

Perhaps we are trying to build their trust for an upcoming scene and need to help encourage them to "get into it" .

Perhaps we are using the simple kiss and the rest of the more complex things to torment and tease one in a loving and nurturing relationship.

The use of lips, tongue perhaps nips and nibbles to add to the sensations of perhaps a bound submissive.

What starts most sex acts and entices one to think of more and wanting more than the intimacy of a kiss?


Looking for input.

Hrm...
OK going on a limb from the start.
Nothing much gets my motor purring more than a kiss, combine that with some neck play with lips. " MMmm , You want what when ? "

So, I'm assuming perhaps I'm the only one here willing to admit that most of my scenes erupt from the start of things that heated up from the very unsimple kiss that stirred my whole being .. all the way up to the complicated things we both can do with our lips, tongues and teeth upon our partners.

All this we can consider part of that simple kiss and it's developement. grins

Comments ?

A kiss is a very powerful motivational tool. To excite, to entice, to seduce. A kiss to different parts of the body can inflame desires. Can spur the feelings of the one being kissed so they feel more emotion, more adoration. To use it in a scene (depending on the scene) can provide gentle contrast to measured sadism.

Say for instance the submissive and yourself are engaging in face slapping. A gentle kiss to a reddened cheek could provide a nice contrast to the pain being inflicted. In the same manner you would rub the area where you cane/flog, when doing impact play to the submissives ass.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wolfscout

Perhaps we are using the simple kiss and the rest of the more complex things to torment and tease one in a loving and nurturing relationship.

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Oh yess...the torment and tease part. When he leaves you begging for that kiss. He has you all wound up then grabs your hair, pulling your head back, and puts his face so close to yours that you feel the warmth of his breath. You want that kiss so much, it hurts, but he won't give it to you. You have to earn it. You try to reach toward him, but you can't because you're bound too tightly....oh please Sir, just one kiss...

**whispers**... don't tell him I told you....it drives me nuts!

"Ok, I won't tell him. " smiles that smile you love.

a kiss can be great mind control... i remember when a mistress i had once suddenly kissed me like a vanilla girlfriend might, but of course given the entire context, it wasn't vanilla.. and it threw me way off course... and it was as i was seeing her off on a two-week vacation when i was already going to miss her...

I love being told to kiss him. He might have just been slapping me, calling me names, I could be in pain, in tears, but he says 'Kiss me' and I can't help it, I'm all over him. makes me feel very horny & very submissive.

umm, I could probably think of more intelligent things to say about this, but I'm too busy daydreaming now...

Busy trying to decide what a vanilla kiss is, within the context of a lifestyle relationship. I can only think of the often quick farewell kiss he gives me in the morning which definitely does not have any lifestyle elements to it. Beyond that one, each kiss is either a tease, a gesture of appreciation, a token of his protection or as ID said, a gentle poignancy during play.

cariad

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cariad

Busy trying to decide what a vanilla kiss is, within the context of a lifestyle relationship. I can only think of the often quick farewell kiss he gives me in the morning which definitely does not have any lifestyle elements to it. Beyond that one, each kiss is either a tease, a gesture of appreciation, a token of his protection or as ID said, a gentle poignancy during play.

cariad

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a vanilla kiss i would imagine wouldn't cause you to want to be taken, absorbed into his being, to be passionately and lustfully devoured.

A vanilla kiss wouldn't cause you to have tingles all though your body or begin you on the process of a long boiling sensation.

a vanilla kiss merely shows you a calm almost unconcerned kiss that is barely more than a handshake or a kiss from family. It's very far removed and unrelated to what i would do for you. < WEG > smiles

I think an unvanilla kiss would ignite the fires and kick the tires of your deepest most darkest desires to make you act.

*checks that the wolf is nowhere to be seen, slips out shopping list, and puts 'non vanilla' in big letters before kiss*

cariad

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cariad

*checks that the wolf is nowhere to be seen, slips out shopping list, and puts 'non vanilla' in big letters before kiss*

cariad

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* watches from around the corner. *

she will most definitely be due one of those. :)

heh, i have to admit that i've only kissed one person in my life. I mean, i may have given head or played around, but kissing, for me, is the most intimate thing one can do--at least in a vanilla relationship. It expresses more than lust and carnal need, even if it's the quick, rough, passionate kiss i've seen in movies lol. But, i have to admit, that right now the only person i want and need to kiss is master... *drools*

To kiss someone in a D/s context IMO is to leave them wanting more.

Just a light touch, 5% kiss & 95% tease. :)

im probably the odd one out but i absoloutely detest kissing ! all i can think of is saliva and germs.
it leaves me cold and nothing can turn me off more, i have an actual fear of it and it makes me feel claustrophobic and panicky.

i do like to be kissed,petted and stroked during play,the soothing reassuring type of kiss on my head etc but not the open mouth to mouth and tounge stuff.

I'm with you,icey!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wolfscout

I think an unvanilla kiss would ignite the fires and kick the tires of your deepest most darkest desires to make you act.

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purrs in agreement..A kiss can be such a (devious) motivation. His kiss always kicks my tires and lets me know (& him) how we are both feeling and what we desire with no words exchanged.

God I want to be kissed now!!!!!!

OK! I agreed with you in another thread, but I must disagree with you now. A kiss is intimate. A kiss means I love you. A kiss means...well, it just means a lot! If you don't mean it then don't kiss! There's a lot of shit out there for play, but a kiss means something more. If you don't mean it, then don't do it. Period.

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Originally Posted by Mr.FixIt

A kiss means I love you.

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Completely disagree.

Have you never kissed on the first date when you started dating (remember first base?)? Have you never kissed the hand of a woman you admire? Have you never kissed the cheek of female friend?

Why am I reminded of John Cleese lampooning sex education in Monty Python 'The clitoris!? Go for the clitoris!? Give her a kiss boy! Thats the way to get the juices flowing! Don't go diving straight for the clitoris!' :)

The lips are among the most sensitive areas of the body and are also the most sensitive areas that are on display and easily accessible. Well, in most social contexts anyway. After all, we rarely walk around with our nipples and genitals on display... :) So the social and intimate nature of kisses is understandable - any contact of lips to skin or lips to lips or even the slight pressure of air as someone whispers close to your ear can be incredibly erotic. It also implies a level of trust. After all, who do you kiss? Friends, family, lovers. People you tend to trust more than strangers. Bear in mind, in order to kiss you, you are letting them get close enough to attack you and, yes Icey you are right, allowing them to potentially infect you with viruses and bacteria. Though I have to say that the chances of getting anything infectious is usually moderated by the antiseptic nature of saliva and other protective factors.

Watch dogs, they do the same thing. Though for them 'kissing' is more sniffing - both the face and the behind. To allow another dog to sniff means that you are not overtly hostile to them. Most dogs when they meet for the first time will be wary - they'll watch each other and sniff cautiously. They need to know they can trust the other enough to get close enough to be intimate. Then they get more enthusiastic about it and go for the arse :)

Between the various descriptions especially Wolf's, and PRO DOM's AV I am about to jump somebody's bones. Keep the unwilling safely inside. :o:

:hubbahubb: :starwars: :erotic3:

..and I quote John Clease.."A kiss boy!..whats wrong with a kiss?..."...its always been a good sensual kiss thats started most sessions..~S~..

icey, the way you describe it reminds me of a character form a movie (40 year old virgin I think) this one buddy of the main character couldn't even think about 'oral' because it's where you eliminate XD

Anyways, onto the topic.

Kissing is a lot more... intimate than anything that's outright sexual like a smack on the bum or a random boob grope. Honestly, during my highschool years when I experimented, I had no problem with having my boobs or my ass groped by friends but when it came to kissing those same friends... I tried it, I didn't like it.

Getting groped was like "whatever, it's just boobs" but it's never "whatever, it's just a kiss" Kissing is intimate in so many ways and the deeper and more strongly you feel about someone, the better the kisses are... it's like your emotions serve as rose-tinted glasses that make technically inferior kissing seem amazing... I know this because I can always think back to kisses I've had with ex's and think 'wow he was a terrible kisser' but I don't ever recall thinking 'damn this guy sucks at kissing' while it was happening.

Being kissed makes me feel submissive... whether soft and tender or rough and bruising it makes me feel owned, emotionally or otherwise, especially 'stolen kisses'. When doing the 'rape fantasy' sex I tend to go limp, disconnect, 'block it out' and go to a faraway place in my head... if Master kisses me during this time, it snaps me right back into the here and now, and I truly feel violated. My body can be taken physically but you don't touch my emotions until you kiss me.

Studies have shown that the lips and the tongue are the most sensitive sex organs...

I can say for myself that nothing gets my blood flowing like a little lip action. It adds a personal touch as well. A little Passion to the play.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by _ID_

Completely disagree.

Have you never kissed on the first date when you started dating (remember first base?)? Have you never kissed the hand of a woman you admire? Have you never kissed the cheek of female friend?

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I completely agree. I grew up in a family where you give everyone in the family kisses to say goodbye. even if its some old second cousin you haven't seen in years lol.

I am new to this and I asked my dom the other day if he were ever going to kiss me and he asked in return if I liked kissing. I replied that I did and that was the end of it. I'm guessing at some point I will be teased with his kiss; I'm sure it will make me beg for more! I do like kissing and it doesn't have to be anything crazy but it will help set me off. <eg>

There are all kinds of kisses, friendly, sweet, platonic, loving, passionate, and insane lip biting crazy. Each for it's own time. And that's just on the lips- if you take the rest of the body you have an infinite amount of variety.

I don't think Dog knows about vanilla kisses-at least, all of his kisses get my motor running; the deeper the kiss, the closer to red-line. Even if I'm not "in the mood" some hot kisses, a little old-fashioned making out, and I'm running on all cylinders. Do me a favor, folks, if I ever get him on here-don't tell him about vanilla kisses?

Another kiss not talked about here, was something i learned while being trained in slave positions. As a show of gratitude she will ask permission to kiss the hand of her Master.

This has, for me, become one of the most intimate and significant acts between a Dominant and a submissive, when in the stillnes after play, exhausted, she kisses the hand that Dominates her.

*goosebumps*

Kissing can be quite the elaborate communication/ritual and/or game.

I'm sure Dog's Lady knows this one!


The cloved orange game:

Basic Use
The most basic practice of passing the cloved orange is to offer it to someone whom you'd like to meet. They will then either rebuff your offer (a polite way to say 'not interested') or accept the cloved orange and offer a kiss (usually on the hand, cheek, or lips) in return. Another common practice is for the recipient to remove a single clove and touch themselves with the clove where they desire to be kissed. Don't EVER force more attention on someone than they are offering. Not only is this rude, but it is illegal, dangerous, and will result in your making a new enemy rather than a friend. If done properly, exchanging the cloved orange is a quick, fun, innocent way to meet people and indicate a willingness to get to know someone better.

You go to the person to whom you wish to bestow the honor, present it and give proper compliments. In return you exchange a kiss.

It may be a kiss to the hand, the cheek or upon the lips, depending on how familiar you are with the person. The usual wisdom is to let the Lady decide, but that should not oblige you to becoming more intimate than you are comfortable with.

Ask for a demonstration!

Advanced Practices
While the basic practice rarely changes much, the variations on the theme tend to become more advanced with each event or LARP you pass through. Wether it's a cloved orange, cloved grapefruit, cloved watermelon, or even a cloved onion, the ground rules remain pretty much the same: You offer the orange to someone you desire a kiss from and they remove a clove and return a kiss in the manne of their choosing.

As with any game, someone always has to change the rules, so now there are a few 'assumed' knowledges that go with the passing of the cloved orange; namely the body language that is now indicitive of the type of kiss that will be received.

* Receiver refuses cloved orange.
Receiver is not interested in participting. This is a nice way of saying "go away" or "not interested".

* Receiver removes clove with hand and holds it out palm down.
Receiver expects to return kiss on top of the hand. The most impersonal but polite form of return.

* Receiver removes clove with hand and holds it out palm up.
Receiver expects to return kiss on the wrist. This is often considered equally or more personal than a kiss on the lips.

* Receiver removes clove with mouth and then transfers clove to hand (or disposes of clove).
Receiver expects to return kiss on the cheek. This is the most common returned kiss.

* Receiver removes clove with mouth and holds clove between teeth with lips closed.
Receiver expects to return kiss on the cheek. Probably the most common form of returned kiss..

* Receiver removes clove with mouth and holds clove between teeth with lips open.
Receiver expects to return kiss on the mouth. The most common practice is for the reciever to bite down on the clove and then return it to the giver's mouth during the kiss. Kind of a medieval breath mint! While a very personal return, it still maintains an amount of decorum so don't try to force any more 'return' than the recipient is willing to give.

* Receiver removes clove with mouth and holds clove inside mouth.
Receiver expects to return exploratory kiss on the mouth (usually after biting clove and moving it to cheek). This is usually reserved for significant others or potential lovers. This usually means the cloved orange isn't getting transferred again for a few minutes (at least!).

Once the transfer of the clove is completed, the cloved orange is now the receiver's to give away, thus the practice continues until no cloves remain, but even this has special meaning in some places!

Special Situations

* Receiver accepts cloved orange and then drops it on the ground or rolls it back to the giver and turns their back (or walks away).
This is considered an insult and is the most unflattering 'accepted' response in the practice of passing the cloved orange. It is equivalent to 'laughing in the face' of the giver, telling the giver to "drop dead", or even comparable to ridicule. This is highly unflattering and shouldn't be used in practice. It is listed here simply so that, should it occur to you, you will not mistake its meaning.

* Receiver accepts cloved orange, bestows kiss of choice, and then returns orange back to giver.
This is considered a great compliment! It essentially means that the first kiss simply was not enough to satisfy the recipient or perhaps the recipient wants to put the decision into the original giver's hands if they want to attempt the 'next higher level' of cloved orange intimacy. Occasionally it's meant as an invitation to more than a cloved orange passing might indicate! In such cases it is generally better to err on the side of caution, but regardless, it is definately considered a sign of romantic interest if the cloved orange is immediatly returned to you after having received your kiss.

* Giver presents receiver with an orange with only one clove remaining.
After having made the rounds for an evening, an orange with a single remaining clove is considered an offer of sex. Consent is generally made by consuming the orange (either taking a bite out of it rind and all, or the more romantic option of peeling it and sharing it between the two participants in the privacy of one's tent or 'special place').

Kissing or the tease of a kiss is probably one of my all time favorite situations.

The tease is the best though. Faces so close you can almost feel their lips on yours, their breath colliding with yours as you start to shake a little with anticipation. Then he backs away, leaving you wanting and desperate. You arch your body as much as you can towards him and pray he will have mercy and kiss you. He does not though. He kisses from your collar bone up to your neck and a fire ignites where his lips have grazed. You bite your bottom lip a little harder than meant and you feel the sting as he notices and ever so gently he runs the tip of his tongue across where you bit. A moan escapes your mouth and all you hear is a chuckle as he completely backs away, your bodies no longer touching.

After hours of play, if you've been a good pet, he will come up to you and look down at your gasping, used form. He will smile as he kneels down to be face to face with you.
He leans in and whispers in your ear, "Very good pet, Very good."
Then he looks you in your eyes before moving in and giving you the softest, gentlest kiss. You kiss him back for all your worth, and he starts to nibble and chew softly, making your lips as red as other parts of your body already are.

I read all the posts and this is what ran through my mind. Nothing better than kissing. In my humble opinion that is.