my mental developement in BDSM

At first, yes, like most males, i was submissive. For some reason, all young men want to be taken by a amazon queen at one point in their life. I was a bit more like this than the other people among me, with a hint of bondage and perversion.

As I grew older, I always had fantasys of being fucked, eh, lets call it the "wrong way". Anyways, I thought I was a freak at first, then realized it was natural upon stumbling on a giant S&M Community.

I used to only stick to F/m F/f storys, but Now I see the broadening in horizons. It just seems natural for M/f now.(not being sexist, my own views). Its quite hard to explain. For some reason, Ive always wanted to be a woman/girl. I pray reincarnation is true, so I may grow up as one in a next life, allthough unlikely.

No, i am not gay. I actually find men disgusting, hairy and fat, while women finely toned creatures of beauty, yet if I was a woman, I would definately be straight, maybe bisexual. Its odd how a different persona choice i would choose, would DEFINATELY change my perspective on sex, when my brain state is the same either way. I dont like guys, but as a woman i would. How do i know this? I just do. Sometimes I wish i was born differently, to be a submissive slut, but as a man, i now feel being dominant is better.

Maybe im just crazy, i just felt like ranting here. Ciao.

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Originally posted by Alex Anderson
At first, yes, like most males, i was submissive. For some reason, all young men want to be taken by a amazon queen at one point in their life. I was a bit more like this than the other people among me, with a hint of bondage and perversion.

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I Disagry with your statement, I have never been submissive. Nor Do I find the Utilitarian Male form Erotic. The hole Butt ugly guy groviling at the feet of a houghty amazon, I find repugnint.

It may be your cup of tea and that is fine. But please refrain from making blanket statements.

Now for early quazy sexual experiance. I have to admit my first hard on was from the early "Avengers" TV show from the 60's.
It had a Then very Hot Emma Peale in a cast iron corset chained to a wall. I think I was 8 at the time. I was watching the show, Far to close to the screen. And then wondering what that hard thing was in my pants. I did not know what BDSM was. Had not even seen a playboy. Guess little mobius knew.:)

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Originally posted by Alex Anderson
No, i am not gay. I actually find men disgusting... yet if I was a woman, I would definately be straight, maybe bisexual... I dont like guys, but as a woman i would. How do i know this? I just do. Sometimes I wish i was born differently, to be a submissive slut, but as a man, i now feel being dominant is better.

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I am sure Alex Anderson is not the only one who has experienced feelings like this. And I do not believe him to be crazy. I for one have conflicting feelings about being with other women. I will submit to being disciplined by a woman, for example, but only as punishment. Women can be so cruel. Especially to other females.Yet I have freely enjoyed sexual contact with other women as long as bdsm was not involved. My boyfriend F. has told me that he would enjoy seeing me endure forced orgasms from/with another female. He has not imposed this on me yet because he can not decide if it would be a reward or a punishment.
No wonder I also feel sometimes I am crazy.

I never had submissive fantasies as a young buy/man either. Too right about the Avengers, Mobius, Emma Peel was gorgeous. I think my first experience was seeing a woman in Dr.Who being fitted with a controlling collar, she made this almost orgasmic expression when it was activated, I'd never been that turned on before, I was about 6 or 7 I think.

Not to generalize, but I do agree with Alex, at least in part. I believe that high percentage of men at some point or other, fantasize about strong, Amazon like women.

Some might find fantasies like that appealing to their submissive side, others on the other hand (or some other extremities, possible) might like the idea of attempting to conquer a woman who is “worthy” opponent (whether or not they do fancy being conquered in the end … hehe – I have my own opinion on that one! :[ )