Basic etiquette

I have been online for over a year and a half, and last year ventured into real life. There is so much that W/we walk into when exploring this side of ourselves, and when beginning it can almost be overwhelming. I had preconceived ideas of what it meant, how i should act, etc. What i found was that OL interactions don't vary as much as some people would have you think. There are basic rules of etiquette that should be followed, and it isn't about bowing down, saying Sir, or that play is required.

First and foremost, it should be about respect. I know that this is earned, but give and you shall receive. Dont make assumptions that because you are an "s" type that you have to do what anyone with a Dom title or attitude dictates to you. Respect yourself and know that your submission is a gift. As a Dominant, respect yourself, and the value of Your role. Anyone can fuck or get someone off, but the true nature of a REAL Dominant will always be to take in all that the sub they are with is offering, and want just as much trust and devotion in the time together as they are giving.

Respect each other as people first, and all else will follow.

My My My gracie.. Excellent Points on all..
you little one have Grown just a tich huh....

for all of Y/you who have not heard any of My Rants on this subject..
1st and foremost This is a RELATIONSHIP. The most intimate and difficult any person will have..
it requires some things many many many are unfamiliar with..
H O N E S T Y.... O P E N .... C O M M U N I C A T I O N AND MUTUAL R E S P E C T by all parties concerned...
one is not supposed to feel less than.. or worse than others....
it sounds simple enough..
A Dominants Job/Duty is to provide:
Protection
Affection and
Correction
A submissive is to serve/please her Dominant
again sounds simple...
Sacrifices are needed and expected by both sides.....
Compromises ARE made
extremely Hard to do
in practice....
but....
If Y/you stay true to W/who and What Y/you are...
If Y/you do NOT compromise your basic values..
if Y/you refuse to settle and REMEMBER your inherent worth..Both Dominants and Subs here...
Things will work out...
The Rant is much much better but now as I am Retired....Yelling does NOT enhance My Calm Dude/ette....
Blame rani on settling Me down..winks
From the Wilds of Oregon....
J.D.

Rock on! I completely agree with you on all points.

A lot of people sneer at OL relationships, which is fair enough I suppose, but there's a value and closeness that's possible in a good one that can really add something to your life. Even if it's just hope. It is a lot trickier in some ways than a proper RL thing though, since distance and lack of the physical is pretty hard to ignore. As you say, respect is first and foremost, but that goes without saying in either type of relationship I think. I know for me, no matter how someone looks or what skills they may have, if I don't respect them, there's no way in hell I'm going to submissive to them.

Another important factor that, I think, a lot of people overlook is communication. I don't just mean email or IM or whatever, but real communication and expressiveness in it. It's hard, for me at least, to be with someone who can't express themselves in words. It's a little hard to feel submissive to someone when their messages are full of 'lols' and making more spelling mistakes than a dyslexic hamster on a keyboard. Or maybe I'm just being a snob... hard to tell.

I think we may be looking at this with a rather narrow focus...as not everyone in bdsm is into "protocol play" or into anything outside of in the bedroom bdsm...or even into having any kind of one on one relationship at all....there are some commonalties that work in most parts of the community, public access dungeons , munches and other venues online or otherwise too.

Anything else is going to be subjective to the protocols of a specific group or individual.

In so far as how one speaks to another etc...variations between online and real will vary or not based upon the above and whatever other situational parameters' apply.

In the other things....well...no matter what I do...I cant get physically spanked through a computer screen.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Jaded Dominant { koral }

My My My gracie.. Excellent Points on all..
you little one have Grown just a tich huh....

for all of Y/you who have not heard any of My Rants on this subject..
1st and foremost This is a RELATIONSHIP. The most intimate and difficult any person will have..
it requires some things many many many are unfamiliar with..
H O N E S T Y.... O P E N .... C O M M U N I C A T I O N AND MUTUAL R E S P E C T by all parties concerned...
one is not supposed to feel less than.. or worse than others....
it sounds simple enough..
A Dominants Job/Duty is to provide:
Protection
Affection and
Correction
A submissive is to serve/please her Dominant
again sounds simple...
Sacrifices are needed and expected by both sides.....
Compromises ARE made
extremely Hard to do
in practice....
but....
If Y/you stay true to W/who and What Y/you are...
If Y/you do NOT compromise your basic values..
if Y/you refuse to settle and REMEMBER your inherent worth..Both Dominants and Subs here...
Things will work out...
The Rant is much much better but now as I am Retired....Yelling does NOT enhance My Calm Dude/ette....
Blame rani on settling Me down..winks
From the Wilds of Oregon....
J.D.

---

If only far more people understood and this and acted on it then things would be so much better. It's about give and take, compromises all along the way. As jinxs mentioned online relationships can have a closeness that is very tangible, but they have to be even more aware of what it takes for a D/s relationship to work. That means more communication, while daily stuff is good, you really need to be discussing with the other person how you are thinking or it is never going to work out.

Etiquette is an important part of demonstrating oneself, your values and beliefs. Lack of honesty, hidden within a veil of deceit cannot achieve that which can achieved. Communication does play a massive part within any relationship, add honesty, then there is fighting chance it will develop, take this from the equation, then deception prevails.

Any relationship should be based on honesty, real life online relationships can have a closeness that is very tangible [sic]. I really think so too, but it is dependent on the parties involved.

Without doubt, I consider communication to be the key to any relationship regardless of locality and typing lexicography can always be addressed when the focus is addressed.

Sett