DiamondStar IV

[ElectricBadger]

DiamondStar on the Forums

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Please be aware this thread may include some spoilers


This is my primary work here on the library -- not as long, intense or spectacular as many others I've seen, but hopefully some of you will enjoy it. I'll continue to update here as I go, so chapters will be available a few days earlier.

Also, I know there are a huge number of issues (names switch, details change, and part of my plot seems to have meandered off in an afterglow). I would really love to hear any and all feedback; grammar, spelling, plot, characterization -- anything.

Initial food for thought:
-During the first couple chapters I move back and forth between character points of view. Later, because I wanted the reader to be less omniscient, I moved away from that and concentrated only on the main character. I'd like to rewrite it a bit to be consistent: which would you suggest?
-A few of the names are a bit odd; is this distracting (and I should get some Emily and Janets instead) or do they help build individual personality?
-I initially had a plotline formed around Lisa, but so far that only involves a few hints; should I work in some more 'down time' to develop her more, or just stick to a reasonably fast pace?