Looking for co-authors/ proofreaders/ reviews

[PK3]

I´m looking for a co-author or proofreader and opinions for this story (english is not my native language).

I left the "boring" parts out, since i have written them allready some time ago but deleted the file after some serious doubt concerning the quality and didn´t know how to go on. They were concerning the first part (see below for a synopsis of it). I could probably write them again.

I love the casual style of zack, especially
Kirsten and the moot court,
but of course i know i can´t even dream of competing with this master of the genre.

The parts i wrote are delimited by ******written****** and ******/written****** "tags".

Everything else is a short synopsis.

Story so far ( this part not written yet):

Janet is on the beach with her two sons (between 6-11 yrs - don´t worry, they don´t get involved). They bury her in the sand as usual, just a little deeper than before, so Janet isn´t able to get out by herself. Just her head is sticking from the sand.
Her female friend (Anne) comes over (as agreed) to get the kids, so Janet can have a whole weekend for herself, since her husband is away on business.
When she is about to dig her out, an ex-student (Bella) comes over to her.
"Hey, you´re Miss Shaw!"
She is a black, thin and beautiful girl in a tiny bikini of about 17. She was kicked out of school partly because of the bad grades Janet gave her in sports.
She sits uncomfortably close in front of her former teachers head sticking out of the sand, cross legged, so Janet has to strain her neck a little to look up to her.

Anne excuses herself and leaves with the kids, since she is in a hurry and Bella and Janet "obviously have some matters to discuss".

Janet tells her to dig her out, but janet evades these requests and continues their conversation about how unfair Janet had treated her.
She - subtly - insists that Janet should apologize to her.

so...

Have written the "hot" parts, should be prolonged i think.
******written******

"I apologize for how i treated you in school. Now get me the fuck out of here."

"THAT wasn´t very convincing at all."

Janet sighed. In a calm, reasonable voice she said "OK, I´m really sorry for how i treated you, honestly. Now would you please dig me out? Please?"

"Do you respect me?"

"I do respect you, Bella, really. And i did in school, i just wanted to help you with your grades."
"Much better. Now just one more, a little more personal token of your respect for me and we´re set."

"What now?" Janet asked annyoed.

Bella inched back a little on the towel and leaned back on her arms and extended her leg towards Janets face. She gently laid the light underside of her long, slim toe across Janets lips, as if to hush her.

Janet turned her head to the side. "Hey, watch your feet!"

Bella pulled her foot a little back so that her toes where about an inch in front of Janets face.

"Come on, teach, all i want is a a small believable sign of your respect."

She pointed her toe and lightly probed Janets lips with her white, unpainted toenail.

Janet leaned her head back a little.

"Bella, this is getting a little weird. I don´t know where you girls get your ideas from nowadays, but i will certainly not... " - 'suck on your toes' she thought, but even speaking this out in front of the girl would be degrading - "...do that."

"Don´t make such a big deal out of it. It´s just fun. Just a toe, and a beautiful one if i may say so. And no one´s here to see. I just want you to show me that you meant it earnest when you told me you respected me, nothing else. "

Janet struggled with herself. She desperately wanted to get out of this hole and away from Bella. Also, her words and her good-natured tone (and probably the sun that had shone unmercifully on her uncovered head for some time) had calmed her a bit. Hell, even her husband liked to dive up to her and nibble on her toes to startle her when she sat unsuspectingly on the edge of their pool with her legs in the water.

Furthermore, the sun was now really baking her and she started to feel slightly lightheaded. She really had to get this over with.

"OK then. Hurry up." She put her head back forward so that her lips were touching Bellas toenails and opened her mouth slightly.

"Do you want to show me your respect?"

Janet was now determined not to waste any more time on this beach.

"I want to show you my respect, Bella." Her lips where slightly scraping against Bellas nail as she spoke. She opened them again.

"How?"

Janet cursed inwardly. "By sucking on your toe."

"You mean on my TOES?"

That wasn´t the bargain, but it wasn´t a big difference. She swallowed an angry remark. Let this loser have her little game.

"Yes."

Bella pulled her foot back from Janets waiting, half open mouth and sat back up cross-legged.

"Oh i´m really looking forward to it!" she giggled good-naturedly an clapped her hands. She lent forward and ruffled Janets hair.

"Oh my, your head is getting hot!" she exclaimed. "I will fetch you a wet towel to put on you. Why didn´t you say something?"

Janet was speechless as Bella rose with a towel in her hand and turned to go to the water.

"Hey!" she finally said as Bella walked away.
"Stop! I´m okay. Please. Lets do this now." she exclaimed as loud as she dared, though no one was near as far as she could tell.

She leaned her head back and groaned as Bella winked at her with the towel, smiling over her shoulder.
She was back in under a minute and wrapped the wet towel around Janets head. The cooling effect was immediate, and she soon felt much better as her head cooled down quickly.

"I´ll get you a drink, too." With that she was gone again and back after a couple of minutes with a water bottle in her hands. She squatted beside Janet and, putting her hand gently but firmly on her forehead, tipped her head back and let her drink from the bottle until it was almost empty.

She felt much better physically now, almost relaxed, and a bit tired. Judging by Bellas manners, this seemed to be just a kind of prank and that she actually felt guilty towards her. Janet was positive that she wouldn´t have to "show her respect" for her anymore, be it because Bella had already forgotten it, felt guilty about it or didn´t dare to actually go through with it.

"I´ve worked up some sweat myself now. I think i´m having a quick dip in the water." Bella said.

Janet looked at her back as she left. After 10 minutes watching Bella swimming, she allowed her eyes to close. Before she knew it, she was sound asleep.

When she came back around again, she realized that the sun stood much lower now. She felt refreshed. Bella laid on her side beside her, her headphones on and reading one of Janets magazines.

She looked up as she realized Janet was awake.

"Morning, or, good evening, sleepyhead."

"What...what time is it? It must be past seven now. Come on, dig me out, i have to hurry."

"Why hurry? Your friend said that you had the house for you alone this night, if i remember correctly. And besides, there´s still this little respect thing you wanted to do for me, remember?"

So she hadn´t forgotten or abandoned her little "game". Well, she had already said she would go along, and she definitely didn´t want to go through the whole process from before again.

"Yes, i remember." she said in a neutral tone.

Bella went back to her original position, with her foot pointed half an inch in front of her mouth.

"So, say it."

Janet decided to get it perfect the first time to avoid that dumb game from before.

"I really respect you, Bella, and I want to show it to you by sucking on your toes, please."

She let Bellas long, right big toe slide into her mouth. The long toenail tickled the back of her palate a little as Bella put it all the way inside. Her second and third toe rested on Janets cheek beside the corner of her mouth. She placed her tongue on the soft underside of the digit and closed her lips around the base. It had a few stray grains of sand on it and tasted a little salty from the seawater. She could bear it. She started to suck gently on it for a few seconds, then stopped and opened her mouth a little to allow Bella to switch toes. Janet signaled with her eyes, but Bella just replied by wiggling her toe inside her oral cavity. Unable to dislodge her mouth herself, Janet could do nothing but to renew her sucking. She couldn´t keep up pretending to herself that this was just "good fun". She couldn´t keep up pretending that this wasn´t deeply humiliating and degrading. The occasional slurping sounds that escaped her lips weren´t helping, either.
******/written******

OK, interlude in short:
(continued in next post)