So I’ve played in the past. I’ve experimented with bondage, blindfolding, and light pain. I know I like that. But my past experiences had no D/s connotation to them. It was just play.

I’m usually a very aggressive person, but I never have been when it came to love interests or sex, I just can’t seem to take that initiative (other than the occasional flirt). I suppose that should have clued me in a bit. I was intrigued by the idea of submitting to someone. Reading about it excited me, daydreaming about it aroused me. I suspected I would really enjoy it. That’s one of the reasons I decided to sign up here.

After I signed up I had the opportunity to speak with a Dom, and that was interesting. I really enjoyed it, but I still didn’t know if this was for me.

Then the other day, I was speaking to Someone, and He said something to me, and my mind went blank. I literally could not think. I just felt goose bumps and thrill up my spine, and of course a gush between my legs. Finally I got my head together and answered. He must have thought I was a dimwit. We continued talking and afterward when I thought about it, I realized – Now I know. This is what I want. I still have a lot to learn, but this is where I want to be. I want to be told what to do, how to perform, to be told what to think while I'm doing it, to be called names. I still have a lot to learn, but this is where I want to be.

That’s not quite right. This may be what I want but this is also what I need.