Hello one and all,

my name is susan. i have lived my whole life wishing and wanting nothing more than to have been born a woman. i know that a terrible mistake was made with me. unfortunately i was born genetically a male (yuuck!!). Although i don't look particularly feminine, i feel most like a woman when i can dress en femme. i wonder how my life would have been different if i had the courage to begin a male-to-female gender change process when i was younger? i think i would have been far happier as a mannish looking woman than i am now as a regretful middle aged male. i hate my body. if fact, there is little i like about the male body in general (sorry guys). i want to be surrounded by pink frilly things. soft cuddly things, scented delicious things. above all though, i want to have another woman love me and take charge of me. i feel an inexplicable need to give myself to another woman. to be surrounded only by things female.

well, there it is. i told you it was a sorry introduction. sometimes i feel so helpless. sometimes i feel so distant from myself and my own body (which i can't even stand to look at in the mirror any more). but most of the time, i look out at the world from a woman's eyes and a woman's perspective that only i know and i feel. i'm trapped in my own mind and my own body. it's a feeling and a fate i wouldn't wish upon anyone.

god i wish i had been born a woman.