I was just wondering if race could possibly be a fetish. I'm an African American woman but I am not attracted to African American men. Not because they aren't attractive or anything. I've met plenty of good black men. But they bore me. It's so...ordinary. So bland. So expected of society. There for I'm just not interested. I am one to head to the opposite end of the spectrum. I like white guys. They are just so sexy to me. It's hard to explain. I think it's partly based on the history of America and how Black people where enslaved by white people. I suppose a white guy is my idea of 'The' Dominant power. The very thought of a white guy taking me and having his way with me and spanking me when I'm bad and calling me names (this is part of play, not 24/7. Because he'll loose a nut if he treats me like shit all damn day). But, at the same time, being gentle with me since I'm sort of a little girl who's just too innocent to be hard on. That's a turn on for me. A black man wouldn't have that affect on me for some reason though. I can't quite explain it. Maybe one of you can. I mean, if a black man tried to take me against my will, it wouldn't even phase me. I'd probably just say "Alright boy, enough of that. I've got somewhere to be." I wouldn't be afraid. But if a white guy tried to do it, I'd be paralyzed. But my question is....Why?

Now I'm not sure if this is a fetish or just a matter of preference. Some people are just attracted to people of other races. It's their preference. And that's fine. But I'm not sure if I'm simply attracted to white men or if I have a fetish for them. I'm simply seeking a man that best fits the part of 'slave driver/loving rapist' but why is it that I feel that ONLY a white man can play that part?

This is something that has bothered me for some time because men have treated ME like a fetish. I get message after message saying "Wow I've never been with a black woman." "Wow I'd love to massage your black round bubble butt." "I hear black woman do this really well." And I hate it. I don't want a man to want me JUST because of my skin color. I'm not a woman online. I'm a black woman. And men focus on the 'black' first before they see 'woman'. Immediately, they think of everything they've heard about black women. Some even talk to me in ebonics when they meet me because they think that I don't know any better. "Wut's up wit you girl? You chillin today?" And when they realize that I'm not that way then, all of the sudden, they start to 'brighten up'. And I see that as an insult. They think that just because I'm black, I'm ghetto.

But am I really so different from the idiots that see me as a fetish? That all depends on if I see white men as a fetish or something else. What do you think?