I have never actually been bound, dominated, or spanked in anyway. But I dream about it constinatly. I read stories here...and the forum. I fantasize and masterbate to it...
But do I really want it?
I just don't know.
I have tried some self bondage, but I think I want like a "self-training" program to see what I like.

I have a vanilla partner and I don't want to even bring up the subject unless I really am sure.

I want to explore on my own. But as a submissive...well that makes no sence. I feel like cyber is cheating...so an online Master is out.

So is there a 12 step program for self exploration out there? Something that starts slow and thought provoking?

Or am I just a big dork?