Caught...

[annie]

Well my husband and I were having a bit of early morning fun, when we heard a knock at the (locked!) door.... it was our oldest daughter (who's 8) and here is how the conversations went....

Dad: Yes?
Child: What are you doing?
Dad: Listening to the radio. (Which YES the radio was on!)
Child: nuh huh... is mom ok?
Dad: Yes, mom is fine.
Child: Are you sure she didn't sound fine.
Dad: Yes, I'm positive she's fine, ohhhhh look at that early morning hair! (yep, time for distraction)
Child: DDDAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!! *trying to peek around the door* Are you sure mom is fine?
Dad: YES! Mom is fine... although she would have been better if you had slept a bit later!
Child: HUH?
Dad: *stepping back out of the door* Go snuggle....

Mom: Who is that?
Dad: It's the oldest.
Mom: Comemer'
Child: Mom, what were you doing? (of course she asks me and NOT Dad!)
Mom: Talking to Dad.
Child: Didn't sound like talking... *skeptical frown at mom*
Mom: Trust me... it was good talking.... OHHHHHHHHH look AT that early morning hair! (Yep, my turn now!)
Child: MMMMOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM! So, when are ya gonna tell me what you were REALLY doing?
Mom: Ummmmmmmmm.... probably never.... are you eating at school today or packing? (Yep, second distraction)

45 minutes later...

Child to younger sibling: Mom was ok this morning but BOY was she loud. *Giving mom and dad the "evil" daughter eye.*
Younger Child: Why was she loud?
Older Child: She was talking to Dad.... but I don't think it was talking.
Younger Child: Momma what were you and Daddy talking about this morning....
Mom: Better hurry the bus won't be here soon enough!

So... when do you actually explain the "birds and the bees" to the kids? Personally I was planning on waiting at least 4 more years for the oldest 2... but now, I'm not so sure... (As I silently pray that neither of them ask their teachers about it... lol)

[crazy_grrluk]

trust me...kids younger than that know all about sex.
and is even more embarassing when eldest (then 10) knocks on the door and says...can I sleep down stairs your keeping me awake

[Euryleia]

How funny.

If your kids aren't ready for the sex talk, you can always say that you were rough-housing or wrestling. ~wink~ That's what my parent's told me!

[Naomisagoodgirl]

That's genius Euryleia! I think even after kids know about sex they appreciate beleivable lies about what their parents are doing.

[crazy_grrluk]

nothing worse than your 8 year old son coming straight out and stating that your gay!

oh yeah had that one this evening by my youngest. I said course im gay...im happy that we are all here. he said no mummy...not that kind of gay...the gay which you and another lady do it.
I stood there mouth open wide and really didnt know what to say...so I said how do u know that...but he ran off laughing.

so yea...they know whats what at that age

[Stone]

should have said we were wrestling

[Logic1]

hahaha
funny story although children interruptus can sure be annoying
I completely agree with ER cause wrestling is something an 8 year old can understand as fun and doesnt connect to sex directly.
For me I think that 8 years old and having that sex conversation with the kids seems a bit early but..
you never know.

[crazy_grrluk]

hahaha
funny story although children interruptus can sure be annoying
I completely agree with ER cause wrestling is something an 8 year old can understand as fun and doesnt connect to sex directly.
For me I think that 8 years old and having that sex conversation with the kids seems a bit early but..
you never know.

yea wll I had uickly said f course im gay....im happy happy happy. he turned round and said the rest.
I sat at the dining table gob smacked

[annie]

Trust me... I have used the "wrestling" excuse in the past... lol.

[Ruby]

"Mommy and Daddy are having private play time" works in my house. It did when they were little and it certainly does now that they're older.

About that birds and the bees talk, sooner is better than later. Though age appropriate discussions are suggested.

Books like "Where did I come from?" with illustrations,
or PBS movies like "The Miracle of Life" are great tools.

If you watch or read with them, you have your chance to gage their reactions, ask and answer questions and interject your own philosophy.

Good luck!

[Curious_1]

The PBS movie is great. We had many conversations with our son, all depending on his age. Personally I think it is better when it comes from Mom and Dad. Of course what they learn from their friends can be funny too.

We used to tell him that it was our alone time. When he was about 15 he saw me come out the bedroom and asked if I had fun. I grinned and said yes. He just turned red.

[Ruby]

We used to tell him that it was our alone time. When he was about 15 he saw me come out the bedroom and asked if I had fun. I grinned and said yes. He just turned red.

Funny!

Yup, that's my teens these days, too.

I was showing off a new pair of glasses and my
eldest said something like, "Oooh, Mom, now you can
dress up like a librarian and ask Dad if he wants to check
out a book."

---

Annie,

I forgot to put this in the first time,
I really enjoyed the conversation and the switch and bait
tactics used.

Good luck!

[annie]

Funny!

Yup, that's my teens these days, too.

I was showing off a new pair of glasses and my
eldest said something like, "Oooh, Mom, now you can
dress up like a librarian and ask Dad if he wants to check
out a book."

---

Annie,

I forgot to put this in the first time,
I really enjoyed the conversation and the switch and bait
tactics used.

Good luck!

The librarian crack is too funny! lol And the bait and switch used to work really really well... then they started growing up... *sighs*

[Playfulsub]

I was showing off a new pair of glasses and my
eldest said something like, "Oooh, Mom, now you can
dress up like a librarian and ask Dad if he wants to check
out a book."

LMAO!!!

[Guest 91108]

Grins at Annie.

I just tell them..

" Hey, Us old people need our quality time.. You'll learn about it when you get to be one of us. "

LOL

[wingsofanangel]

I don't remember a time that I didn't know about sex.

I always remember my mom and dad acting like two young teenagers.

I think teaching kids younger is better... way better.

[Isabelle90]

I think teaching kids younger is better... way better.

But how young? I agree that parents should take more responsibility in teaching their children about sex....not just the reproductive system and STD's. I had a former student (now 20 yrs old) tell me that after she and her boyfriend had sex for the first time, she asked him how he knew what to do, both of them being virgins. He told her that he googled it. How sad is that? I mean, he could have gotten loads of great techniques, but where would one even begin if not at least given some type of introduction?

[Echoes]

LOL...this is great!
I sleep with a small dildo, not that I use it every night, but I like holding it in my hand *blush* like a teddy bear. Each morning I make my bed, and I put it under the pillows.
Well one day my son comes in and flops on my bed talking to me while I was in my computer chair. I didnt noticed him adjusting the pillows. That night, I couldnt find my dildo and spent so much time looking for it.
Next day I feared the worst, my son took it to school with him and had it in his locker, thinking it was some police weapon *he was about 9 at the time*
Yes I have the dildo back now, and each morning it is safely hidden away.

[Isabelle90]

Well one day my son comes in and flops on my bed talking to me while I was in my computer chair. I didnt noticed him adjusting the pillows. That night, I couldnt find my dildo and spent so much time looking for it.
Next day I feared the worst, my son took it to school with him and had it in his locker, thinking it was some police weapon *he was about 9 at the time*

I would love to have seen that note sent home from school!!! LOL Of course, if your son was in my class, I would have had him put it away and take it home without a word. Then, I would have made a personal note to make you my new best friend!!!

[Echoes]

I would love to have seen that note sent home from school!!! LOL Of course, if your son was in my class, I would have had him put it away and take it home without a word. Then, I would have made a personal note to make you my new best friend!!!

Lol, uhmm I was called to the principals office
It was very discretely handed back in a paper bag via thumb and finger grip and I am not sure who was blushing more throughout his talk of the proper handling and care of "what should be very private material, etiquette and caution in parenting and handling of suggestive implements" and how I almost did not get this back but the discussion needed to be had.
I might be laughing now, or well shaking my head...but it was a very horrific time and I could not wait to leave!

[Playfulsub]

We told our oldest just after she turned 9. I wouldn't wait too much lunger, or she'll get her first info from other kids at school - which may or may not be accurate.

We were caught once, too. It was awkward, but we just gave her a very basic explanation and left it at that. She didn't bring it up again.

[submissivemark]

The proper way to tell kids about sex isn't to wait untill 8-10-12-etc for "the talk". First of all it's usually embarassing & uncomfortable to sit down & have "the talk" & past about 10-12 or so, it's usually too late, as they will learn from their peers, the internet, etc. The key is to answer their questions as they ask them at different ages, using an easily understood, accurate & age/maturity appropriate response of course.

I find it sadly ironic that people in this lifestyle still have hangups about telling their kids about sex because they feel the kid isn't at the "right age". There is no "right age", thought there is a "right time", as stated above.

Now I do understand the need to not want to explain one's BDSM proclivities. There discretion is a good idea until the kid is old enough to understand it, if ever. Some private things should stay private.

I started puberty at age 10 & was somewhat sexually preccocious regarding my own body & sexuality then because of that. Luckily my parents had taken the time to answer my questions before then & explained in ways I could relate to about the changes I would be going through. Keep in mind that I'm 46, so puberty hit me 36 years ago, when most people still were very uncomfortable discussing sex with anyone. Sad to see that seems to still have some prevalence even now.

[Ozme52]

I'll add the suggestion that when discussing body parts... use the real words. When your kids find out you've been truthful with them on this matter, then they will trust you more on the topics where their safey (e.g., drugs) and the safety of their future (e.g., pregnancy, stds) is concerned.

I was stunned when I found out in sex-ed class that penis and vagina were not my parents' equivalent of the weenie, dick, hoohoo, and a variety euphonisms my friends were taught by their parents. It gave me new respect for my parents AND their trust in me.

[Echoes]

I'll add the suggestion that when discussing body parts... use the real words. When your kids find out you've been truthful with them on this matter, then they will trust you more on the topics where their safey (e.g., drugs) and the safety of their future (e.g., pregnancy, stds) is concerned.

I was stunned when I found out in sex-ed class that penis and vagina were not my parents' equivalent of the weenie, dick, hoohoo, and a variety euphonisms my friends were taught by their parents. It gave me new respect for my parents AND their trust in me.

It was no real problem being open and discussing things with my daughter but when my son holds his hands over his ears and says he doesnt want to talk about it, I feel the need to respect this and the discussion should be on his time.
I have always been open and let it be known at any time...they want to talk about anything, I am always open.
My son and I have on occassion discussed certain things "as" they come up or I notice particular behaviors, he does listen then. He isn't happy I won't buy him playboy books

This all said, I am a little worried that my son will find himself in any "assorted series of complications" before he shows readiness to talk to me - so how does one approach this? He is interested in girls now, this is a definite.

Perhaps a book or two geared to his age where he can read in private?
I already know I cannot direct him to his father to talk when they visit, as I did this last summer when he first asked for a "magazine" but did not want to talk to me.

lol and I am going to have to teach him to shave??? I can see myself (in my mind) referring to my legs as I help him shave around his face...

[jeanne]

Hi Echoes,

Besides talking with my sons, I got this neat book for them (geared towards teenagers) to explain the stuff they didn't want to discuss with me - and told them they could ask me any questions that might arise. I can't remember the name, but will see if they still have it and let you know. The other thing I did - once they were about 13 I let them spend time with our family doctor alone, and reminded them each time that the doctor was there for them and would not share with me any private conversation. I don't know if they ever took advantage of that, but at least they knew.

And the shaving - they figured that out for themselves - I don't recall my husband teaching them anything about that. Plus we bought them electric shavers when the time came.

Enjoy your son - soon enough he'll be grown!
jeanne

[Echoes]

Hi Echoes,

Besides talking with my sons, I got this neat book for them (geared towards teenagers) to explain the stuff they didn't want to discuss with me - and told them they could ask me any questions that might arise. I can't remember the name, but will see if they still have it and let you know. The other thing I did - once they were about 13 I let them spend time with our family doctor alone, and reminded them each time that the doctor was there for them and would not share with me any private conversation. I don't know if they ever took advantage of that, but at least they knew.

And the shaving - they figured that out for themselves - I don't recall my husband teaching them anything about that. Plus we bought them electric shavers when the time came.

Enjoy your son - soon enough he'll be grown!
jeanne

Thanks jeanne, I appreciate this very much...and I also read back up and saw Ruby's post listing a couple books.

[tired.of.vanilla{DJ}]

I knew about masterbation very early, since I was doing it everywhere. I clearly remember doing it before I started school.
I knew about "bad touches" and the technical part of sex at age 7 or so.
I knew about most everything else by age 12.
I knew about multible orgasims at age 20...very personal knowledge!