punishment,pain or pleasure

[icey]

how many here actually enjoy being physically punished? (genuine punishments not play)

it constantly amazes me when subs say they go out of their way to be punished because its a turn on,
maybe its me but i just dont get it,how can you possibly be turned on.

i love pain and quite a lot of it but it sure as hell doesnt feel the same for a punishment its a nasty hurt and im already feeling bad as it is, my mindset at that time or straight afterwards certainly isnt one of horniness.

and the Dom/mes who say they ''make up reasons to give punishments'' that i really dont get.

[_ID_]

To me there are punishments that should be a learning lesson, and then there are punishments that are for play.

A sub who is good at word play and gets a good jab in, my reaching out and tweaking a nipple in response to the teasing could be considered punishment, but to me, it's not a negative punishment, its a play punishment. Or maybe you get the sub all turned on, feel her pussy and how wet it is, then bend her over your knee, "Bad Bad slutty girl! your pussy is very wet!! you need a spanking!" See where I am going with this?

[Sir_Russell]

I really try to find out what hurts her the most and it is rarely physical so I punish her mind and that hurts the most.

[jeanne]

I really try to find out what hurts her the most and it is rarely physical so I punish her mind and that hurts the most.

Yep. I'm very familiar with that. He will ask me to do something that reminds me that I've disappointed Him. Mentally, it's a horrible feeling, which is His intention. It's not intended to be sexy or a turn-on for either of us.

That being said...it's only happened once. I find it very natural to be exactly what He wants - to strive to please Him in every possible way.

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

I love pain, so Master knows that punishing me with pain isn't going to work. If I get a little bratty with Him then He knows that I want/need attention and then He'll flog me or give me some kind of pain, because that's the way He is. But if He truly feels that I need to be punished then He'll give me a chore that I absolutely hate or refuse to let me speak, etc. Then it truly is a punishment.

[subserviant]

i luv the pain that my Mistress inflicks on me but the scene has to be right it is like a play we both know how to play when she uses the whip on me it takes me to hieghts that only whipping can take me the very thought of her putting nippple clamps on me makes my knees buckle, once over the initial pain its heaven

[tora]

I need the pain, the humiliation the punishments as much as I need to be loved, to held, to cum.

With my previous in person Masters I have been known to go out of my way to have cause for physical punishment, am guilty of attempting to manipulate my Masters towards my own end.

I guess not many of us could say we haven’t tried, some of my Masters have been quick to realise this, and have been able to determine the two ways I can be punished in which I get absolutely no enjoyment.

[icey]

I need the pain, the humiliation the punishments as much as I need to be loved, to held, to cum.

With my previous in person Masters I have been known to go out of my way to have cause for physical punishment, am guilty of attempting to manipulate my Masters towards my own end

but isnt the pain humiliation and that type of punishment part of your play? not say a punishment because you refused to do the dishes or something?

whilst i might be spaced out on pain,humiliation,punishment during play those same actions given as non-play punishment hurt way too much physically,mentally and emotionally and they even make me feel sick.

for me feeling guilty,bad and disappointed isnt a very good prelude to playing anyway,whatever my love of pain.

[fallenstar]

it constantly amazes me when subs say they go out of their way to be punished because its a turn on,
maybe its me but i just dont get it,how can you possibly be turned on.

i love pain and quite a lot of it but it sure as hell doesnt feel the same for a punishment its a nasty hurt and im already feeling bad as it is, my mindset at that time or straight afterwards certainly isnt one of horniness.

ive wondered at this too.. when i know ive been bad, thats already ingrained in my head. what ever i punishment i get when ive been bad, even if i normally love it, it wouldnt be enjoyable because i know ive been bad and disappointed, angered, or upset my Dom.

[DowntownAmber]

I'm not sure it's possible to "enjoy" a genuine punishment, otherwise, how genuine can it be?

I enjoy pain, and physical pain coupled with Master's voice whispering and suggesting to me how much He is enjoying me and what I'm enduring is a HUGE turn on as the spanking/flogging/etc. is happening, and a source of great pride for me when it's all over and done with. On the other hand, if there is even the slightest hint of anger or disappointment in His voice, the same pain I typically enjoy gets real unpleasant real fast. Honestly, we keep the physical punishments to a real minimum as we have both come to understand that negative pain will still put me into a subspace of sorts, but a very dark version of it as opposed to the euphoric one we'd rather achieve.

That being the case, my "genuine" punishments tend to be mental lessons, as opposed to physical revenge. They reflect the feeling of disappointment Master experienced back on me in a way that makes me feel how He did. If I forget to call, He doesn't call me or stop by tha evening. Siple as that. Usually, I get the point pretty quickly...

[annie]

it constantly amazes me when subs say they go out of their way to be punished because its a turn on, maybe its me but i just dont get it,how can you possibly be turned on.

Maybe it is just me... and maybe I am getting grumpy in my old age. And I am certain that several will jump all over me for this post... but I'm going to say it anyhow because it is my opinion.

ANY sub, who purposely sets out to annoy/disobey their Dom so that they can be punished is not a sub at all but someone wanting to play games and trying to top from the bottom. They aren't looking to serve they are looking for a head rush.

And...

ANY Dom/me who allows that type of behavior, on a regular basis, isn't a Dom/me but someone who wants to have a bit of fun without having to commit to the improvement of their sub.

There is a point when the question has to be asked, especially if a sub sets out regularly to cause a true "punishment" situation, if the relationship is truly meeting the needs of everyone involved. Which is great if it is, but at that point, if that is the dynamic that is "working" for them, I would not put the title Dom/sub on those involved but more of a role play Dom/sub or a Top/bottom. Just not how I define a D/s relationship that would work for me.

[Myst]

I think there's an important distinction to be made here, and several people have touched on it already. There is a difference between play punishment and real punishment. There are some that enjoy the pain, but for me the difference is the mood and intent behind the pain, if it's involved. As several have said, for a sub that enjoys pain, the ideal punishment is not physical pain, but often a more mental punishment. Punishment should convey the weight of the disappointment felt by the Dom/me. Neither the sub nor the Dom/me should not derive any pleasure whatsoever from that punishment. And I have to agree with Annie that any sub that purposefully eggs on a Dom/me by being disrespectful or disobedient just to get that punishment is not a sub that I would want personally. The sub should be striving to do all in their power to please the Dom/me, not manipulate them into giving them what they want. The same applies from the other side. Any Dom/me that makes up reasons to punish a sub isn't much of a Dom/me in my eyes. It's a Dom/me's job to teach a sub, to guide them, support them. Not to find nonexistent reasons to tear them down. For me, that just doesn't allow for a relationship of trust from either party.

[Hime]

Pretty much the same thing everyone has said. I definitely enjoy being spanked or whipped, which is usually part of a little "game" rather than a true punishment. Part of what makes it enjoyable is the role-playing of punishment -- the idea that I've been a little bad, but I'm not really in trouble.

On the other hand, there have been a few times when I've done or said something really disobedient, and he's told me not to make eye contact until he allows it, or not to call him Master until I'm ready to treat him like one. It's never been more than a couple of minutes, but it hurts, although it is also kind of a powerful experience.

[icey]

annie encapsulated it all,for me anyway.

its something ive never do,push for a punishment...i mean why the hell would i want that!
the few punishments ive had other than one particularly nasty time with the crop,and the odd spank if im in little mode, have been punishments to fit the crime wherever possible,sometimes no eye contacted like Hime or being ignored for a short while..worst one of all.

the one time i did do was right at the very beginning and was naivly listening to wonderful advice,dos and donts from other subs was when he'd had a particularly bad day at work and was p***d off was to wind him up some more stupidly believing that it would lead him into 'taking it out' on me and help with the frustration,when all i had to do really was offer him was listen to him,offer a massage,dress extra nice for him etc... err duuh lol when he realised he wasnt impressed he explained to me that he would never ever punish me or even play while in a bad mood (which was in our contract anyway) and id wound him up even more and though he understood why id offended him because in a way by my reasoning behind it,it was almost like accusing him of being an abuser.

boy did i feel dumb lol although we did laugh about it later and ive never done it since.

[Isabella King]

I'm not that good with pain, so if he wanted to use pain as a punishment it would probably work quite well...fortunately he hasn't cottoned on to this yet. But he learnt pretty quickly that I hate to have my hands cuffed behind my back, anywhere other than the bedroom, and frequently uses this to keep me in line - he has a particular favourite which involves disabling my opposable thumbs

I hate to admit it but a good punishment is one that will make me more compliant in the future - and the thought of too much pain would definitely do that for me - even more so than restricting the use of my hands - but some things he just has to work out for himself

[gemmy]

Maybe it is just me... and maybe I am getting grumpy in my old age. And I am certain that several will jump all over me for this post... but I'm going to say it anyhow because it is my opinion.

ANY sub, who purposely sets out to annoy/disobey their Dom so that they can be punished is not a sub at all but someone wanting to play games and trying to top from the bottom. They aren't looking to serve they are looking for a head rush.

And...

ANY Dom/me who allows that type of behavior, on a regular basis, isn't a Dom/me but someone who wants to have a bit of fun without having to commit to the improvement of their sub.

There is a point when the question has to be asked, especially if a sub sets out regularly to cause a true "punishment" situation, if the relationship is truly meeting the needs of everyone involved. Which is great if it is, but at that point, if that is the dynamic that is "working" for them, I would not put the title Dom/sub on those involved but more of a role play Dom/sub or a Top/bottom. Just not how I define a D/s relationship that would work for me.

I couldn't agree more annie - well stated!

Pain or no pain - Punishment is letting down your Master and invoking his disappoint, annoyance or anger and any sub worth her salt who is real would Never, in any circumstance, bring that about - Just the one look of upset from Him is heart-wrenching and crumbles you so whether He adds pain to it and you like it or not, it further instills the horrible feeling already settled in yourself at letting him down - No sub would purposely do this to her Master if she has any respect for Him at all.

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

maybe it's just me, but NOWHERE in the definition of punishment is the word *enjoyable*. True punishment is meant to be something that can be learned from so that the same mistake is not repeated, not something that one would want to continue to do over and over again. And as usual, i agree with gem that upsetting, disappointing, or angering one's Dom, should be punishment enough for a sub that truly centers her world around Him....making sure that He is pleased above all things. The thought of His disappointment should be enough to put a sub into her own 'self-imposed'
punishment.

And in the same context, i understand the idea of punishment in play as well. But in this context, the sub accepts the punishment because it is PLEASING to her Dom for her to do so, therefore also pleasurable to the sub.

So no, can't say i understand subs who are constantly looking to be punished. i liked the comment about topping from the bottom that i read above. Very applicable here i think.