Name Calling

[Occam]

OK the title is a little deceiving. I've been playing with this sub for a little while now and she keeps calling out my name in the heat of passion. Now to me this is great, I like it, but it kind of freaks her out because she has never called out another mans name before, not even the man that she spent 10 years of her life with. I keep telling her that it doesn't mean anything and not to worry about it, but she does worry so I pose this question. What do you think it means and should she be freaked out about it?

[Daumon]

I think it means she is enjoying herself and you are the center of that enjoyment. obviously she is very strongly focused on you and her pleasure is fully centered on her thoughs of you. Good job and keep up the good work.

Daumon

[angelic.zest]

ive called out a few names in my time *giggles* well as Daddy said..you are doing a great job with her and she's really enjoying herself so i would just let her know to continue to enjoy herself and her time with you.

[MasterBaron1945]

hi
maybe you are doing something right
maybe your approach, demeanor and attention are perfect for her needs.

I don'y know why she is freaked out. maybe she just likes to complain

[satisfied]

It means that you are goooood at what you do and she is more comfortable with you than she ever was with the man she spent 10 years with. It is really something when she can let herself go that way and trust you not to pass judgement on her. *smiles* You are the Dom, tell her to stop thinking so much and just enjoy it.

[Ozme52]

If she weren't, I'd suggest orgasm training to associate your name to her pleasure.

It's an effective technique for giving you more and more control over her and her pleasure.

I'd say "Great job!!"

[jeanne]

If she weren't, I'd suggest orgasm training to associate your name to her pleasure.

It's an effective technique for giving you more and more control over her and her pleasure.

I'd say "Great job!!"

What He said.

[leah06]

I wonder why she's freaked out. Calling out someone's name during sex is not actually that unusual, and at least she's not calling out someone else's name, you know? So what's her problem? Obviously she has one, and I'm not sure that telling her to loosen up is going to help.

This is my guess, based on my experience: Sometimes the emotions that one experiences during submission feel a lot like other emotions, even sometimes like love. It doesn't mean that they are love, but it can be confusing.

You mentioned that you "have been playing with this sub for a little while now" so it's not clear what the status of your relationship is. Maybe she just wants to play but finds that her feelings during sex seem different. Maybe these feelings are similar to, but more intense than, ones she felt in an ongoing loving relationship (since she didn't call out the name of her long-term partner), and she is troubled by the fact that in a loving relationship she did not have this intense reaction, but in a play relationship she is.

I would suggest talking with her about how D/s can elicit strong feelings and reactions and make it clear that she is calling out your name because you are her Dom. Give her permission to feel strongly but give her room to figure out that what she is feeling might be something new, not something she's experienced before. This is something that she can figure out for herself; you don't need to tell her.

I would strongly suggest having this discussion as her Dom and not as her boyfriend or lover. These are tricky waters - you want to help her with her feelings but whether you are going to have the Relationship Talk should not be based on this situation.