Question to Doms

[nutta]

Is wrong to give your sub the task of coming up with 10 punishments that they truely do not like and at the same time also come up with 10 rewards thet they would enjoy?

[TwistedTails]

Not at all wrong.

[Zarine13]

IMO, its a test of sorts, to see if the sub is telling the truth. It also guarantees that the sub doesn't get what they view as a reward instead of a punishment and vice versa.

[Ozme52]

Wrong? Not at all. But I'm curious to hear some more of the context from which this question arises.

I think it is particularly evil to make your sub outline her own future punishments... because they're far harder on themselves than most doms would be. And by evil, I mean excellent.

It's also wicked to make them tell you their favorite rewards so you can teasingly withhold them...

And by wicked I mean evil and you know what that means.

[nutta]

Thanks That was what i had in mind when i had given that task to my sub. always good to see that others are on the same page.

[shayna{L_D}]

And by evil, I mean excellent.



And by wicked I mean evil and you know what that means.

Oz...

[Logic1]

Excellent idea in my book. Yes it can be way harsher than she would like but then again, it is a great way to "know the limits" so to speak and if you dont want to do it just as harsh as she writes down then you can just be a bit kinder
Same as with the rewards.

[Stone]

right wrong? black white? life is full of shades of grey seems ok to me

[SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN]

Wrong and right. What floats your sub's boat,and what floats your boat are bewteen you and them. Work it out with that person. Then take her over.

[SeX-FiENd]

NOT to compare subs to children but my mother often let me pick my own punishments growing up ....I would give myself a much harsher punishment than she would ever give me. So when I would say grounded for a week ....she would move it to just a weekend. She looked like the good guy in the situation ....damn my mother was a smart one. I believe it's great to have your sub give their own punishments. I believe in CHOICES always. The sub can't be mad ever at YOU for making when they made their CHOICE now can they????

[satisfied]

jumping in with MHO......I think that if a Dom doesn't know his sub well enough to figure out what punishments would work best for her then it's his own fault if his punishments don't have the desired effect. If a Dom doesn't take the time to actually get to know his sub that well then he doesn't deserve to have the 411 on the good punishments.

Personally, if I had to tell Master what the best way to reward me was it would take something away from the reward for me. It has much more meaning if he comes up with it on his own, generally it wouldn't have been the thing i'd have picked anyway and I love it way more!

hehehe......*slinking back to the submissive couch now*

[SeX-FiENd]

satisfied: But isn't ASKING your sub what they would find punishment in fact LEARNING about the sub you're with????

[Wiscoman]

satisfied: But isn't ASKING your sub what they would find punishment in fact LEARNING about the sub you're with????

Bingo.

[satisfied]

Sex-Fiend: good point. but i still think it's totally sadistic for you fuckers to make up choose our own punishments! when did you lose your creativity??? *ducks and runs*

[Miner]

Ummmm, you're NOT paying attention are you? I point out (emphasis added) that you wrote

Sex-Fiend: good point. but i still think it's totally sadistic for you fuckers to make up choose our own punishments! when did you lose your creativity??? *ducks and runs*

to which my comment is : "And your point is what, exactly?"

[FirstBorn]

Hmm i did a variation on this once.
Had my sub pick out 10 items for her punishment and line them up on the coffe table (severe punishment).

She didnt pick out a single thing not useful for causing pain or discomfort. But had she done so id prolly have figured out a way of abusing said item anyways, or just plain skipped it adding punishment for failing.

As for the OP excellent idea. Dont really have to be for actual use just nice to have for scaring her a little later on.

As for denuseri youll sleep chained to the doghouse in the yard tonight and well discuss you revised list tomorrow... (or something to that effect)

[SeX-FiENd]

satisfied: LMFAO ....do NOT make the mistake that I lost my creativity. In fact I have never given the task to my sub of coming up with his/her punishments but do in fact think it's a splendid idea. But I do give a choice ...always have always will. I say either you can have THIS punishment ....or THAT punishment....make your choice. --GRINS-- I'm a bit sadistic that way.

[subserviant]

I would luv it if my Mistress asked me to cum up with my own punishments .Lets see #1 would be to be whipped with a thin whippy cane #2 made to lick her pussy# 3 clamps on my nipples and honest these are ALL THINGS i HATE hehe ,the list goes on

[SeX-FiENd]

hmmm see I think Dom/Dommes are a bit smarter than to realise what are real punishments and what one might view as more of a reward. I don't have the habit of rewarding bad behaviour but if it works for you subserviant by all means best wishes and good luck with that ...I would love to know how that pans out for you lol

[Mr.Quirt]

The case of an on-line sub is quite different from that of a RL sub in this respect. On line, asking her is an effective way to learn not just what she considers punishing, but what she will be willing to comply with.

[Flaming_Redhead]

I don't think it's wrong, but I don't like it. The punishment should fit the crime, and a list of random punishments isn't very creative or likely to be effective. By the same token, a list of rewards makes me think of a Christmas wish list rather than a gift from the heart based on your knowledge of the person. The person may get what she/he wants either way, but to me, it's the thought behind the gift that counts.

Someone who pays close attention to detail and learns what makes one tick earns a lot more respect than someone who always takes the easy way out.

[denuseri]

<<see's nothing wrong with it in the slightest, heck I want a dom that does this once in a while its a great way to test him online or otherwise.

Here is my first shot at it I would so hope he liked it:

Punnishments: #1: Make me have so many orgasms that I pass out and wet myself, mabey even needing medical attention to be revived.

Punnishment: #2 Make me have so many orgasms that I just wet myself and pass out.

Punnishment: #3 Make me have 6 orgams after buying me lots of expesive clothing and shoes.

Punnishment: #4 Make me have 6 orgasms without buying me the expensive clothing.

Punnishment #5 Make me have 6 orgasms without buying me the clothes or the shoes.(not getting the shoes would really make me cry and I allmost moved this one up on the list)

Punnishment #6 Make me have enough orgasms that I just wet myself.

Punnishment #7 Make me have orgasms that last several minutes like 10 or more.

Punnishment #8 Make me have an orgasms while in public.

Punnishment #9 Make me have orgasms after fucking me silly.

Punnishment #10 Make me have orgasms after someone else fucks me silly.

Now for the rewards:

Rewards #1 - 10 > all of the above except while on a caribiean cruise and being pampered in every way spa treatments the whole nine yards!! Oh yes and buy me lots of diamonds and other jewlery. Even better kneel down and be my foot stool while I use a vibrator its about as dominating as I can handle right now. Oh first get me a glass of wine and a fruit bowel I may feel like a snack before hand. And dont forget to bring some lotion to rub my feet after you lick them clean sweetie. etc etc etc

I aint kidding one bit about the above, if I was asked I would really hand that back to him especially if he was comming off weak to me and it was an online thing.

hopefully after reading the above he or she would dom-up doing us both a favor (keeping in mind they are allready aware of the hard limits etc between us)

I mean its ok to pick my brain for creative ways to punnish and or reward me, dont get me wrong, especially if its done in such a way that I dont know your doing it. Like mabey talking to me in chat as opposed to having me do your homework or comming up with some short handy cliff notes for your easy refference, and figuring out how I really tick deep down and then you coming up with what will work to dominant me which will admitably take some time, much more than a week or two.

As FRH said the punnishment should fit the crime and be something unique to the situation, which requires a degree of invention and insight.

Now if in real life it would depend on the situation, at my Owner's house its simple, real simple , disipline is maintained quickley and effectivly. My worst punnishment other than having to fetch his "slut get right" stick is to see the disapointmnt in his eyes anything else that he comes up as a way to remind me not to do it, whatever it was again I see as a reward or oppurtunity to please him. But thats beside the point. If I was ever asked how I should be punnished I have only one real answer.

If I am lucky and he permits:

With tears in my eyes I would belly before Him reverantly and if permitted I would diligently kissed his feet and would rejoice inside if He was suffciently pleased to allow me to place his foot on my neck and head in the ritual of obedience and If i was lucky, I would say once given permission to speak:

"Please Master, punnish this girl as you see fit if she has displeased you in any way"

[CAVEMAN287]

if she can't come up with an answer give her 20 punishment you like and 5 rewards you despise

[leo9]

In passing, this reminds me of a Dom who said his favourite game was "I'm going to spank you till you suggest something I'd enjoy more."

[Ozme52]

In passing, this reminds me of a Dom who said his favourite game was "I'm going to spank you till you suggest something I'd enjoy more."

I'm gonna remember that game.

[danman7]

I'm gonna remember that game.

Ditto!

[denuseri]

Results come really fast if you use a cane lol.