Level 1 Help for Newbies

[H Dean]

In a rare act of kindness (so count your blessings, newbies) I have decided to help out down here at level 1. Thank me later.

Take note that "Level 3" should always be capitalized and the other levels, especially level 4, should not be capitalized. This is because the Level 3 instructor is superior.

Anyhow, if no one gets to any of you newbies you should give me a holler. Not literally; I couldn't hear you if you did. Send me a PM if you are not helped or if your assignment is not critiqued or if any other problems arrise.

Be warned: If you spell "a lot" as "allot" or "alot" I will make you wish you had never met me. If you contract "You are" into "Your" I will abuse you until your eyes bleed. If you use the word "too" where "to" would be proper I will lash you to a bee hive. If you use the word "affect" where "effect" should be used I will poke your eyes out, break your fingers and call you "Sally".

That is all.

[Aussiegirl1]

LOL Thanks, and now if you haven't scared all of the students away..... you will be a great help.

[skp2bear]

Welcome Mr. Dean. My first assignment should be in after the 13th as all my master's degree assignments are due by that date for this term.

[H Dean]

Crap - someone who is getting a real education!

[skp2bear]

At the age of 65 (in two weeks) I'm a late bloomer!!

[Aussiegirl1]

At the age of 65 (in two weeks) I'm a late bloomer!!

Good for you! Hope you do well with your assignments!

[H Dean]

Aussiegirl is 65 too....or, at least, her IQ is.

[skp2bear]

No way. She is a much younger and supportive person coming to our aid when we were stranded. That is more than you did Sir. Yet we are still grateful for your assistance now oh one with a swelled head

[Aussiegirl1]

No way. She is a much younger and supportive person coming to our aid when we were stranded. That is more than you did Sir. Yet we are still grateful for your assistance now oh one with a swelled head

Thanks sweeetie. Don't mind old grumbly H Dean, he is a teddy bear at heart! lol

[H Dean]

Aussie, I am gonna kick you.

[Aussiegirl1]

Aussie, I am gonna kick you.

LOL well if that means you have to come to Australia and visit me.... I could put up with that!

[Dragon's muse]

Flogging is more fun and leaves more interesting marks.

[Aussiegirl1]

Flogging is more fun and leaves more interesting marks.

Very true, and wouldn't leave so many bruises!

[Dragon's muse]

Very true, and wouldn't leave so many bruises!

Mmmmmmm, and that loverly sting. Yummers.

[H Dean]

This is the help for nbewbies thread, not help for perverts.

[skp2bear]

Can't we be both? I only have my third training session with Master next week so I qualify as a newbie on both counts.

[Dragon's muse]

You got something against perverts??

Edited to add: Besides, you started it!

[H Dean]

I started nothing! I would never do such a thing and I resent the implication!

[Dragon's muse]

I started nothing! I would never do such a thing and I resent the implication!

Silly man! Don't you know men start everything. Besides, I implied nothing. I stated it point blank. And I'm glad. And I'd do it again.

[skp2bear]

Oh yeah! I just bet! Like am I supposed to believe you O Great One?

[H Dean]

You have crossed the line. For your digressions I will make your life a living horror! Beware Level 3. (evil laughter)

[Geasa]

Be warned: If you spell "a lot" as "allot" or "alot" I will make you wish you had never met me.

Ok, do not think I do that.

If you contract "You are" into "Your" I will abuse you until your eyes bleed.

Ok, might be in trouble here.

If you use the word "too" where "to" would be proper I will lash you to a bee hive.

Big, big trouble.

If you use the word "affect" where "effect" should be used I will poke your eyes out, break your fingers and call you "Sally".

Should be ok, cannot remember ever using affect.

[H Dean]

Muse...shaddup and show me yer tits.

[Dragon's muse]

Aren't you the sweet talker? How nice that you want to see my teeny tiny bewbies.