Being punished

[duckie]

This is going to be kind of drawn out so ..

Everyday I am to let my Sir know "who" I am that day. We have a specific ritual for when I want to be pet and not girlfriend. Yesterday I performed that ritual and so, I was pet. Later that day I forgot my place and got bitchy, yelling at Sir and all sorts of things. I told Him I was going out with friends, I didn't ask. And then later got mad at Sir because I didn't like one of the people He was going to hang out with.

As part of my punishment I was supposed to tell you all how bad of a pet I was yesterday. The other part, my Sir has questions about.

1) Should my punishment be one big one for a bad day, or one smaller punishment for each infraction.

2) Ideas for the big punishment and for the smaller punishments.

My Sir and I both thank you for your help.

[_ID_]

What punishment you get for your infraction would be up to your Dom.

Ideas as for punishment. My suggestion would be that he has you do something you don't enjoy. Do you like to write? If not, it would be a writing assignment. Do you like to clean? If not it would be to clean something. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Depending on the answer would dictate what was done. If you are an introvert, doing something publicly would be in order. If you are an extrovert, having you do something of accomplishment and prevent you from being able to have the satisfaction of others knowing about it.

[duckie]

I understand that the punishment will be up to Him. He has asked me to get the opinion of other Doms. Sort of a "what would you do" type thing. Would you give one big punishment or a bunch of smaller ones for each infraction. What would they be in either case.

[_ID_]

The punishment should fit the crime. Was it a big infraction, or a bunch of little ones? The answer dictates the response.

[duckie]

There were a lot. I suppose I would classify them all as big. Yelling, going out without permission, not asking if ther place I was going was suitable (just to name a few).

[duckie]

My Sir has asked me to again ask for guidance on this issue. Your help is greatly appreciated.

[denuseri]

Why is he asking through you as opposed to doing it himsellf if at all in the first place is what I am wondering. Is he just at a loss as for what to do with you. Or are the two of you disagreeing on what if any punnishment you are to recieve?

Are the paramaters of your relationship clearly defined?

Have the two of you sat down and established what the hard limits will be?

[singletaillover]

is your relationship with your Sir o/l or r/l as if it is was o/l your Master could ignore you up to a month, but if this is r/l relationship your punishment should be 1 big one for the bad day and the punishment for the bad day should be really up to your Sir to decide that and not for us to decide for your Sir

[Miner]

As a dominant, I'd suggest your dominant give some serious thought to making you do something you really don't like by way of punishment. Hmmm, bathroom, toothbrush, scrub til the room shines seems like it might be useful.

[Ozme52]

Maybe you punishment should be being treated like a human being on a "pet day"... so that you can spend all day being responsible for yourself when you are aching to be a pet.

Then you may remember to diffentiate between the two roles.

Also... perhaps you aren't playing the role of pet well enough and require some "intense" training. A "muzzle" will help you to keep your tongue to yourself when you're a pet. Are you a feline or a canine.... perhaps a duck? Appropriate food and toilet training, depending on what kind of animal is in order. (Cat box, newspapers in the utility room, or just anywhere in your cage; depending on which kind of pet.)

In other words, until you learn to "play" the role, you will have to "be" the role... so you know your place within the role.

[13'sbadkitty]

Maybe you punishment should be being treated like a human being on a "pet day"... so that you can spend all day being responsible for yourself when you are aching to be a pet.

Then you may remember to diffentiate between the two roles.

the biggest and worst punishment i ever had was being denied my collar until He was satisfied i knew what i was willing to give up

[Archeon]

im intrigued, does this mean you as the submissive decide each day what role you want to play?

[Ozme52]

im intrigued, does this mean you as the submissive decide each day what role you want to play?

Not everyone is 24/7.

When that's the case, someone has to initiate. I would presume that in a "proper" D/s relationship, the sub may initiate and the dom may agree... or the dom may initiate and the sub must agree. But even then, even if 24/7, the sub has options depending on vanilla obligations, state of physical or mental health (aka mood) and a host of other potential mitigators.

[Archeon]

Not everyone is 24/7.

When that's the case, someone has to initiate. I would presume that in a "proper" D/s relationship, the sub may initiate and the dom may agree... or the dom may initiate and the sub must agree. But even then, even if 24/7, the sub has options depending on vanilla obligations, state of physical or mental health (aka mood) and a host of other potential mitigators.

was not a criticism, was just an intriguing point to me.

[leah06]

Someone wrote to Dan Savage about this a while ago. As I remember, she's an egalitarian in general, but sometimes wants to be a sweet homemaker whose boyfriend comes home, inspects things, and then punishes her for infractions by spanking her until she cries. She was very conflicted about this. DS suggested that she be egalitarian all she wants, and then when she's Suzy Homemaker she put on a special bracelet or necklace (we'd probably call it a collar) to indicate to him that she's in a different role. This is what I imagined from the OP. I also imagined that she was "pet" in the sense of being sub at that time, and not that they necessarily engage in pet play.

If this is right, and you generally have a vanilla relationship in which you indicate a desire for a temporary power exchange by engaging in some ritual, then I'd say, ditch the punishment. First of all, if this happened three weeks ago and he hasn't punished you yet, then move on. If you've reopened this post because something similar has happened again, though, then I would really say that you seem to be conflicted about this play. You're the one who chooses when it's going to happen, you appear to want it, so why are you undermining the power exchange that you've signed on for? It's more important to figure this out than to punish you for transgressions. (And the transgressions are so extreme, btw, for someone who's willingly in a power exchange that I would say that's an indication right there that something is wrong with the dynamic.)

Possibly issues: You want the power exchange but when it happens it scares you. You feel guilty for wanting the power exchange so you undermine it when it happens. The power exchange is OK but you feel bad that it's voluntary and wish that he'd "force" it on you. You don't want the power exchange. I'm sure that the viewing audience could chime in with a million other possibilities. Oh, here's another one. He doesn't want the power exchange, or something about it makes him uncomfortable, so the dynamic isn't working. See how fun and easy this guessing game is?

Only you and he can move past the guessing. I suggest that you really talk this over and figure out what you want out of the power exchange, and what you're getting and not getting out of it. This behavior isn't "bad", it's communicative, and you need to move beyond it.

[Slutcontrol]

I guess you both really wanted to hear some actual suggestions; to conjure a little humiliation into the cauldron through a quas-public exposure?

I think you should have a big one AND lots of little ones under the conditions of a strict new regime to teach you your lesson. Do you have an exercise bike?

[duckie]

Wow. I hadn't checked this in awhile because of the lack of response and then suddenly you all chime in Thank you. But as there are so many responses I will just touch on a few.

Why is He asking through you?

He asked through me for humiliation and because He doesn't have an account on here. This is "my" place and He only infringes when He feels it can be useful.


is your relationship with your Sir o/l or r/l as if it is was o/l // Maybe you punishment should be being treated like a human being on a "pet day"...

Our relationship is is r/l and although we occassionally engage in some puppy play, "pet" is just His name for me, not as in an animal.

im intrigued, does this mean you as the submissive decide each day what role you want to play?

Yes, I decide everyday if I want to be pet or girlfriend. Although sometimes He will let me know His feelings on what role I choose.

If this is right, and you generally have a vanilla relationship in which you indicate a desire for a temporary power exchange by engaging in some ritual, then I'd say, ditch the punishment. First of all, if this happened three weeks ago and he hasn't punished you yet, then move on. If you've reopened this post because something similar has happened again, though, then I would really say that you seem to be conflicted about this play. You're the one who chooses when it's going to happen, you appear to want it, so why are you undermining the power exchange that you've signed on for?

When I choose my role for the day, I know that it is going to be that way until I wake up the next morning. I cannot change my decision. So although it's temporary, it does not change from hour to hour. We have moved on from that incident but Sir is always looking for new ideas for punishment (as well as reward). As for why I undermine it ... the reasons are many and diverse.

[pageturners]

soooo... what was it?