The Seven Common Types of Internet Submissives

[BDSM_Tourguide]

The Seven Common Types of Internet Submissives
By BDSM_Tourguide

In day-to-day dealing with the online BDSM community, a dominant will typically run across many submissives in chat, forums or mailing lists. Although each submissive has their own personality and quirks and flaws and merits, each will usually fit into one of the following seven categories of internet submissive behavior.

Please do note that these are only the most common types of internet submissives; others do exist, but to much lesser degrees.

Type One: The “Little Girl” Submissive – Ever-blushing and ever-giggly, the “little girl” type of submissive is the consummate child actor. She will usually use every cute little hair twist and every sweet little smile in her arsenal to make sure everyone finds her to be the sweetest little girl in the whole community. These little girls typically ooze sweetness and often make dominants and other submissives in the community wonder what they’re really up to. Little girl types usually do not get along with other little girl types at all, as they typically crave attention and another little girl trying to muscle in on another little girl’s turf is an open threat to the incumbent little girl’s monopoly on attention-getting. For this same reason, little girl submissives do not usually do well in polyamorous relationships, preferring to be the sole object of their partner’s attention. A positive aspect of little girl types is that they are usually unwaveringly devoted to their partners and once they find a partner, they are unlikely to leave that person. From a purely psychological perspective, one has to wonder if the little girl type uses her wiles and charms and craves attention to cover up self-esteem issues.

Type Two: The “Tame Me” Submissive – The “tame me” type of submissive is overly rebellious, overly strong-willed and overly confrontational with dominant types. They want to find, in their own words, a strong dominant to break their spirit and make them be the submissives these girls just know they can be. This type of submissive doesn’t seem to realize that most dominants enjoy a spirited submissives and don’t actually want to attempt to train a wild pony only to have it turn into a old gray mare once they saddle-breaking phase is completed. A submissive that shows qualities of rebellion, will and spirit are often looked upon appreciatively by dominants, but the tame me type of submissives tend to take these traits to the next level. Ordinarily, once a tame me type is actually tamed, she becomes bored with her relationship and begins looking anew for better challenges. These submissives do not often form lasting relationships within a BDSM community. A positive thing about the tame me type of submissive is that they are really fun for the first couple of months, but after they have been tamed, they tend to settle into predictable ruts until they are ready to leave the relationship, then they will begin to act out again in hopes that someone, who is not their current partner, will attempt to tame them once again.. Psychologically speaking, one wonders is a tame me type is merely playing hard to get in order to find a partner that will put up with them and not become overly baffled when the submissive ceases to be a challenge and then leaves for another person that will do it all over again.

Type Three: The “SAM” Submissive – A “SAM” type submissive, also known as a Smart-Assed Masochist, is just that, a smart-talking submissive with a quick tongue. These submissives are usually only SAMs, or Sammie, to their partners or people they know very well. Usually, their Sammie behavior isn’t actually a cry for attention; it’s just their way of being playful. In fact, most SAMs when actually threatened with punishment will back off, saying that they were only playing and that they didn’t mean anything by it. Occasionally, this behavior can be incredibly frustrating to their partners who, by the time the SAM has agitated their partner into frenzy, are looking to string the SAM submissive up by their toes and see how many fresh red marks can be created. Interestingly enough, most SAM submissives are not actually masochists. They actually do not want to be punished for their actions as, to them; they were just playing around to begin with. The positive thing about a SAM sub is that they are usually great fun and very playful partners. Occasionally, they are playful to an infuriating level and will occasionally push their partners until their partners are ready to torture them just to relieve the stress. Psychologically speaking, a SAM is probably not actually looking for punishment or attention, but just wants to show their affection by acting the way they do. The SAM is usually subdued by a couple of harsh words, because once they realize they have stopped being fun, they do not enjoy the feeling associated with causing their partner actual distress.

Type Four: The “Brat” – The “brat” is different from the tame me type and the SAM type in the fact that they are overly-aggressive, smart-mouthed and frequently rude, they have no intentions of submitting to anyone’s authority or discipline, except that of their partner. This fact, however, does not stop the brat from continuously harassing every dominant and most submissives with which she comes into contact. Oddly enough, to their partners, brats are, almost unanimously, not bratty. The brat knows full well that their partner can and will punish them, and probably would if their partner caught them acting the way they do in a community. Brats are usually very good submissives once they find a partner, but their confidence in knowing full well that they have a partner and no one else can lay a finger on them typically causes their behavior. Anyone that’s ever fallen victim to the behavior of the brat can usually stop the brat’s behavior toward them with a well-worded email to the brat’s partner, along with any specific bratty remarks copied and pasted into the text of the mail. The good thing about brats is that they are, almost unanimously, actually very good submissive. They usually behave very well to their partners and are usually very easy to get along with in relationships. Psychologically speaking the brat probably acts the way she does, because of the sense of security afforded to her by the knowledge that she has a partner and no one else is allowed to touch her. The brat, once reported to their partners for their behavior, tend to settle down and treat the person that has reported them quite respectfully. The brat will normally only push the people she knows she can push.

Type Five: The “My Master is God” Submissive - Also known as they “I have a master and you don’t! Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah” type of submissive. These submissives are of the opinion that their masters can do absolutely no wrong and that their master’s word is as good as law and that their masters know everything there is to know about everything. The “My Master is God” type of submissive frequently spends inordinate amounts of time talking about their masters, what their masters have done to them, or for them, or with them in the past, or any other tidbit of assumed wisdom their masters have ever passed along to them. Suffice it to say that conversations with these types of submissives can get old very fast, and most people would almost rather eat broken glass than converse at length with this type of submissive after she has related her favorite “My Master did this” story for the third or eighth or hundredth time. The good thing about the “My Master is God” submissive is that they are very, very devoted. These submissives are usually crazy about their masters and hang on his every word. Mostly, it seems, this type of submissive is usually very new and inexperienced, and frequently their masters are, too. Psychologically speaking, one wonders if these submissives are under the effects of psychoactive drugs or mind control, because most sane people are not this devoted to their partners. This type of submissive is frequently very new and very inexperienced, and therefore has nothing much of value of her own to add to a BDSM-related conversation. Her master, too, might be inexperienced, but as long as he treats her well and what he says seems to make sense, she will hang on his every word, believing that he knows more than anyone else possibly could. People in disagreements with this type of submissive will often find that, unless they have at least five documented, proven bibliographical sources to back up a claim or opinion that differs from this submissive’s master’s claim or opinion, then this submissive will never believe a word of it, choosing to believe instead that anything her master says is the absolute truth.

(continued next post)

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Type Six: The “I am Slave, Hear Me Roar!” Submissive – These are absolute, prodigious, epitome of any submissive type. Don’t call the “I am Slave” type a submissive, though, they don’t like that very much. In these slaves’ opinions, there is no other submissive group that can possibly equal their level of commitment, sacrifice, talent, experience or will to submit. To this slave archetype, submissives merely play at being slaves, and anyone not in a 24/7 TPE-type relationship cannot possibly understand what it really takes to be a slave. Somewhere along the way, the slaves falling into this category forgot that the traditional, BDSM-defined slave is supposed to be demure, servile and meant to be seen and not heard. The good thing about the “I am Slave” type is that they are often very committed, very talented, willing to sacrifice anything for their master and willing to submit to any kind of torture, torment, punishment or practice their masters desire. These slaves rarely safe word out of any situation, and frequently don’t even have safe words. Psychologically speaking, the level of ego required to drive a self-proclaimed slave to this level of verbosity and fervor seems directly contrary to the actual personality required of accepted, established slaves. It is likely that, if an Old Guard Master ever found himself in care taking or in possession of this type of slave, he would first begin her experience under him by gagging her or taping her fingers together to prevent her from vocalizing or typing exactly how great of a slave she is.

Type Seven: The “True” Submissive – The “true” submissive is often the culmination of the desires of every dominant figure around this person. The “true” submissive is often shy, under spoken, docile, servile and absolutely willing to do anything asked of her. The true submissive is usually aware first of the wants, needs and expectations of the dominant figures around her and not concerned as much with her own wants, needs and expectations. The true submissive is frequently inexperienced, untaught and looking to be pleasing by being perceived as the ‘expected’ norm that a submissive should be. The true submissive will serve anyone and allow herself to be disciplined by anyone claiming to be dominant. The true submissive will usually be found off to the side and out of the way of everyone, rather than openly interacting with people. The good thing about the “true” submissive is that they can be educated and trained out of these types of behavior. Through training and education, these submissives often find that they are allowed to say no to people. They find out that they can get involved in conversations and don’t have to be wallflowers in social situations. They also find out that they are allowed to want, need and expect things as any other person would. All they need is some encouragement. Psychologically speaking, there’s nothing at all wrong with the “true” type submissive, other than they need some guidance and that they probably got some bad advice from an online dominant or an online submissive. With good advice and guidance, these submissives can easily turn out to be fine submissives, or they can turn into one of the other six types mentioned here.


As mentioned before, these are only examples of general types of submissives one will run into online. There are other types as well, but none so predominant as to mention here. There are also, of course, the “normal” submissives that enjoy carrying on conversations, are very openly opinionated and very capable of handling themselves in social situations. It is to these kinds of submissives that others would do well to look to as role models and advice-givers.

[Lord Thomas]

Wow, you have been a busy brain; haven't you TG, Narf!

Again excellent observations.

[Sailor861]

Dear Tourguide:

Thank you for this enlightening description of the various types of submissives that are encountered here and elsewhere from time to time.

I was well worth the time to read your thoughts and I stand more enlightened today. Much appreciated. I will have my sub read these posts as well.

Sincerely,



Sailor861

[BDSM_Tourguide]

I'm just happy to be able to help.

[Xelebes]

How much would you edit this article to accomodate the defining of male subs, TG?

[BDSM_Tourguide]

How much would you edit this article to accomodate the defining of male subs, TG?

I would change all the shes to hes, and that's about it.

[sub4fetterati]

Type Six: The “I am Slave, Hear Me Roar!” Submissive – These are absolute, prodigious, epitome of any submissive type. Don’t call the “I am Slave” type a submissive, though, they don’t like that very much. In these slaves’ opinions, there is no other submissive group that can possibly equal their level of commitment, sacrifice, talent, experience or will to submit. To this slave archetype, submissives merely play at being slaves, and anyone not in a 24/7 TPE-type relationship cannot possibly understand what it really takes to be a slave. Somewhere along the way, the slaves falling into this category forgot that the traditional, BDSM-defined slave is supposed to be demure, servile and meant to be seen and not heard. The good thing about the “I am Slave” type is that they are often very committed, very talented, willing to sacrifice anything for their master and willing to submit to any kind of torture, torment, punishment or practice their masters desire. These slaves rarely safe word out of any situation, and frequently don’t even have safe words. Psychologically speaking, the level of ego required to drive a self-proclaimed slave to this level of verbosity and fervor seems directly contrary to the actual personality required of accepted, established slaves. It is likely that, if an Old Guard Master ever found himself in care taking or in possession of this type of slave, he would first begin her experience under him by gagging her or taping her fingers together to prevent her from vocalizing or typing exactly how great of a slave she is.

Type Seven: The “True” Submissive – The “true” submissive is often the culmination of the desires of every dominant figure around this person. The “true” submissive is often shy, under spoken, docile, servile and absolutely willing to do anything asked of her. The true submissive is usually aware first of the wants, needs and expectations of the dominant figures around her and not concerned as much with her own wants, needs and expectations. The true submissive is frequently inexperienced, untaught and looking to be pleasing by being perceived as the ‘expected’ norm that a submissive should be. The true submissive will serve anyone and allow herself to be disciplined by anyone claiming to be dominant. The true submissive will usually be found off to the side and out of the way of everyone, rather than openly interacting with people. The good thing about the “true” submissive is that they can be educated and trained out of these types of behavior. Through training and education, these submissives often find that they are allowed to say no to people. They find out that they can get involved in conversations and don’t have to be wallflowers in social situations. They also find out that they are allowed to want, need and expect things as any other person would. All they need is some encouragement. Psychologically speaking, there’s nothing at all wrong with the “true” type submissive, other than they need some guidance and that they probably got some bad advice from an online dominant or an online submissive. With good advice and guidance, these submissives can easily turn out to be fine submissives, or they can turn into one of the other six types mentioned here.


As mentioned before, these are only examples of general types of submissives one will run into online. There are other types as well, but none so predominant as to mention here. There are also, of course, the “normal” submissives that enjoy carrying on conversations, are very openly opinionated and very capable of handling themselves in social situations. It is to these kinds of submissives that others would do well to look to as role models and advice-givers.

i do so enjoy reading Your posts. They are always so thoughtful and provoking. Makes one; such as i, really examine my own desires and thoughts. Thank You for sharing the wisdom, hopefully every one will take something from it and make it work for them on varied levels.

sub4fetterati

[Alex Bragi]

Yes, I agree, this is an extremely interesting and informative article. Well thought out and articated. I'll have to come down to this end of the forum more often and check out what's being posted.

I've certainly met all of the above submissives in chat rooms, at one time or another, male and female.

Onl, with respect, I think I would disagree with your observaton of a 'true' submissive. You said: "With good advice and guidance, these submissives can easily turn out to be fine submissives, or they can turn into one of the other six types mentioned here." I feel that, like in any relationship, each is looking for something a little different to suit their needs.

Submissives vary in how seriously they take their position, training, and situation. Motivations for engaging in submissive behavior may include relief from responsibility, being the object of attention and affection, gaining a sense of security, showing off endurance, and working through issues of shame. (Personally, I find the latter very sad.) Others simply enjoy a 'natural' feeling when they are in the presence of their partner. Surely none is superior? Surely a submissives needs are as varied as the dominants who seek them out. And, surely you're not going to disagree with me here, are you?

Mmm... Now,which type I am?

[Caissa]

Hi,

Very interesting post, as someone newly awakening to this life, the insights are very reassuring, in as much as what we feel, is 'normal'. Now I just have to go back and read it again and see where I really fit.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Onl, with respect, I think I would disagree with your observaton of a 'true' submissive.

The "true" type of submissive is not the same as a typical, trained submissive. The "true" type is submissive to everyone and often believes she is required or expected to service anyone's needs that requests her attention. Usually, a "true" type is told by other, mostly-inexperienced people, that the way she is to act is how real submissives should act.

With some good advice and training, a "true" type can easily be made to understand that real submissives do not sit in the corner and await someone's attentions, or offer blind obedience. Real submissives (the kinds you often find in real life) tend to be opinionated, emotional and not willing to just follw anyone's lead because that person says they are dominant.

[privatedesire]

Heeh ofcourse i come under the little girl submissive. i knew that as soon as i started reading. Thanks for the great read!

[slickroadway]

Outstanding writing/observations on a par with
good reference material...6 years? obviously time
well spent, thanks for the read.

[MrJerseyGuy]

Nice job TG. Having read the full post, I'd be interested in your perspective on Doms as well. I've been watching a lot of the interaction in chat lately. It would be interesting to see who fits in which category

[slavelucy]

Nice job TG. Having read the full post, I'd be interested in your perspective on Doms as well.

TG has written such an article! You can find it here:

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1829

HTH

sl

[IndigoFae]

TG has written such an article! You can find it here:

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1829

HTH

sl

My Sir had me write descriptions of Him and myself based on the ideas of the threads...
I can tell you it was one of the harder writing tasks I've had

[slavelucy]

My Sir had me write descriptions of Him and myself based on the ideas of the threads...
I can tell you it was one of the harder writing tasks I've had

Crikey, i can imagine...writing about oneself is hard enough..writing about your dominant, including 'cons' as well as pro's...without being offensive... It's a fine line, a very fine line.

What an interesting task though *looks all thoughtful*.

Good to hear from You IndigoFae, haven't seen you around in a long while, hope things are good with you.

sl

[Tang]

A bit concerned because as with the 5 Dominant descriptions, all your descriptions are negative. From reading this it would suggest that none of us is going to find any Dom or sub who is not a poser or having such a serious flaw to make interaction with them pointless. I accept these as good warnings, but I think you could list some types that show some of the better sides of BDSM interaction. What happens when your inexperienced subs become more experienced, do they morph into one of your other negative types or is there the possibility of something more positive happening?

As I say, useful, but a bit of a downer for the scene.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

A bit concerned because as with the 5 Dominant descriptions, all your descriptions are negative. From reading this it would suggest that none of us is going to find any Dom or sub who is not a poser or having such a serious flaw to make interaction with them pointless.

Actually, what this and the other thread represent are guidelines for people to use to identify poser types. If a person with whom you are chatting fits into one of these categories, then the likelihood is that he or she has had more online experience than off and may not necessarily know very well how to handle BDSM in a proper context.

And you're right, these descriptions are all negative, because the characteristic types they describe and define are negative types.

[Alex Bragi]

Tang,

Mmm... interesting. I didn't really think of that article as 'negative' until you menitoned it. Like I said, I thought it was a good read; possibly just a little tongue in cheek, but more or less how most online submissives tend to be. Or did I misinterpreted it?

Alex.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Or did I misinterpreted it?

No, you interpreted it correctly.

[smartass kitten]

This was a very interesting and enlightning read, thank you

I can find myself in several descriptions though..more a combination than one true form...am I the only one?

[BDSM_Tourguide]

To commemorate the opening of a new section of the Dungeon, I am moving this thread and a few others to the top of the list.
Enjoy!