jealous and envy

[singletaillover]

hello i really need some help here, how do i deal with my jealousy and envy. Master has got a on line slave who lives in US Master speaks to this slave every morning, at work and in the evening whether its on line, texting or by phone, Master knows of my past history in being in a poly family and how i got hurt, neglected, and released. Master seems to me that he has no time for me these days i have tried to sit down and talk to him and half way through the conversation we get interrupted by this other slave and says that we will finish the conversation later but we never do as he is to tired and wants to go to bed, i am the Alpha slave to Master. Master is thinking of having a poly family even though Master knows my history, when Master speaks to this other slave i get jealous and envious as he is not taking a interest with me, is there any suggestions and please before anybody says that being jealous is a killer and can ruin a M/s relationship i know all of that. Many thanks

[Crovack]

In any type of relationship people can become complacent. They can come to expect the same level of devotion from others but slowly want to 'give' less and less. This happens literally on every level of relationship, from boss-worker, to friendships to the most vanilla of relationships and it also happens in the D/s world.

The best advice I can give is to to muster the ability to break away if that's what it takes. If you aren't happy with how the relationship has changed to the point you would not want to be in it if it continued down its current path - tell him. I know that it can be difficult for subs to 'lay down the law' with their doms, but if you respect yourself as a person and respect your own desires to be happy, then you have to be willing to end a bad situation.

I'm not saying to start with a threat to break up by any means (often threats don't help), but more that you make it clear that the current dynamic of the relationship is not one in which you feel appreciated or happy and that if it continues that you'll need to find a way to fix it. You can beg/plead with him, you can be submissive to him, while still making it clear that you have expectations of him as well - and if he can't be there for you, then you need to find someone who will.

I can't tell you how he'll respond. He may not realize he had any chance of losing you and when the realization occurs, quickly change things to avoid that. He may not care at all if he loses you due to his interest in the other sub. Most likely he's somewhere in the middle. No matter what this approach leaves you in the best possible outcome: if he really isn't interested in you, staying with him will only prolong your agony and make the hurt last that much longer, and it take that much longer before you can find happiness again - and if he is still interested in you, reminding him in a polite but serious way will make him re-evaluate the way he is treating you.

Don't let your submission turn into a lack of self-respect. You have every right to be happy in a relationship and particularly if the person you are with has changed you can and should address it with them.

[denuseri]

I couldnt have said it better myself Crovack.

Youve heard this very same thing from myself and others before in other areas of the forums and in chat singletail...it is hard to be strong somtimes but it is better than being miserable...I pray you will find the strength and courage to do what you need to do...ultimately only you can decide.

There is no such thing as a jealousy switch that one can turn on and off at will.

Its pretty obvious what your dom is up too imho.

[VaAugusta]

I'm slightly confused.. I remember you speaking about how you were moving to Australia to live with this person. Did this subject not come up at least once ahead of time? Either you didn't discuss what your limits were, or someone is breaking them. You stated that you have told him of how a poly relationship has hurt you in the past.. but unless you make it clear that multiple subs is a limit, he may just do whatever, as master "knows best" of course.

[singletaillover]

@ VaAugusta Master knew my past that i got hurt badly when i was in a poly relationship with my last Master as i trusted him as he said that it would not happen but it did. The Master who i have now is a mono Master a Benevolent Master, i love him dearly from the first day that we met last September and October. Yes i am with Master in Australia but only for a year, as i have to return to the UK next Feb to apply for another tourist visa as i cant apply for one whilst i am in Australia. When i return to Australia i will also be applying for a spouse defacto visa. I am a 1 2 1 slave now because of what happened to me in the past

[leah06]

Didn't really answer the question, though. From other posts of yours I'd gotten the idea that while you were in the UK this master had told you he would be monogamous, and that before you even joined him in Australia it was clear that this was not true. If he told you he'd be monogamous and now he's not, then you have deeper problems than the online slave. If you just assumed that he'd be monogamous out of respect for your past, but didn't discuss it, well, then this is a perfect time to do that.