My collar, his what?

[KermitsKeeper]

My master is making my first collar. I can't wait to wear it for him! It led me to a request he was willing to consider - carrying something I make for him as a symbol of his commitment to me. I am going to put together something resembling a handkerchief, making it out of pieces of cloth I have worn (including a piece from a pair of my panties, per his request). He agreed to carry it in his pocket as a reminder of his responsibilty and commitment to me (can you tell how much this means to me?). What we need now is a name for this symbol. Any suggestions?

[Tojo]

How about a garland? It sounds like a treasure to me actually, lucky chap.

Hey I hope he doesn't see you writing 'master' instead of 'Master'!


Tojo

[Evan_]

Hi Tojo,
We discussed the "M/m" thing. We both attribute capitalizing pronouns with the Supreme Ultimate Being. The fact that she calls me master is enough for me. We are both learning much about each other, ourselves, and about this dominant/submissive thing. As a relative novice, I am finding that there is indeed a community of people involved in this practice, and that folks are generally accepting of each couple finding their own "way."

However, I did speak to pet about posting without permission. She had my permission to post this time, but did not share that information with the forum. She's a very good girl and (rarely) gets into trouble.

-Ev

[Sir_Russell]

I like wearing a piece of jewelry from my one. I require it to be tasteful and without close inspection not able to be placed as a symbol of the life. Just as my none scene collars for her can pass in regular life. I have used necklaces, rings, bracelets, anklelets etc.

The concept is similar to the wedding ring it shows that each has commited to the other, showing respect and honor for their partner.

I require that the sub/slave have on one of her collars at all times unless I grant an exception for a given circumstance.

Hope this helps a little.

[Ozme52]

In medieval times such an item would be called a 'favor'

[Aesop]

In medieval times such an item would be called a 'favor'

Thank you! I read this post earlier and was trying to remember what the knights called it when they tucked their girls' hankerchiefs in their gauntlets and I drew a damn blank. Been driving me bats.

[Ozme52]

...or tied around their lance....


the weapon!!!


the other weapon dammit.



LOL

[submissivewife]

...or tied around their lance....


the weapon!!!


the other weapon dammit.



LOL

Ohhh you meant THAT weapon......LOL

I was like Aesop, the name of the the ribbons and hankerchiefs given to their knights eluded me as well. Now that someone had said it, it's like....silly!

[Ozme52]

I've always taken a slightly medieval approach to my "hobbies"

[KermitsKeeper]

Master gave me permission to post. I'm so glad because I was so eager to thank you! That's exactly what I/we were looking for! And I can't help but giggle at the thought of him tying it onto his weapon... I appreciate your help!

[Ozme52]

Master gave me permission to post. I'm so glad because I was so eager to thank you! That's exactly what I/we were looking for! And I can't help but giggle at the thought of him tying it onto his weapon... I appreciate your help!

You're welcome... under those circumstances a blue ribbon is always appreciated.

[Evan_]

You're welcome... under those circumstances a blue ribbon is always appreciated.

Makes me think of that old John Denver song about the sleeping drunken Scot where the two girls with their hair tied up in ribbons come along and wonder if it's true what they say about what he wears under his kilt. When he wakes up he stumbles into the bushes to answer nature's call and says "I don't know where you've been, lad, but I see you've won first prize!"

[KermitsKeeper]

I sent Master Evan his favor yesterday. I can't wait to see if he likes it! Thanks again for the term.

[Tojo]

Thanks Evan for the detailed insight into your lives.

Food for thought indeed.

Oh- I know what those 'smiles' fee like. I've had my wife ask me what I'm so happy about once or twice.

Tojo

[slb_b2000]

I am a newbie to the D/S lifestyle and quite frankly intrigued and very honored to be His. Our dilemma is the distance between us as in miles. I am in Minnesota and he is in PA.
Can I get some ideas on how to make that pain go away?

[Aesop]

Other then moving closer? Daily contact is good. Emails, IMs, that sort of thing. If he hasn't already given you one, he could give you a daily routine to follow. That might make you feel closer to him.

[Evan_]

[I'm writing this first comment after writing the rest of the post. It got long really fast, before I knew how long it would be, and I'm thinking maybe this should have been it's own thread, but since my pet, Kate, is talking about our collar/favor arrangement, I thought this a nice place to elaborate about 'us.' Hope you enjoy, and I hope this information helps somebody else out there. Most of my comments are directed to the dominant, because I am presuming you may only do certain things with permission.]

Kate and I are also long distance, feeling our way in the dark on the D/s thing. Here's some of the recent events, and some of the difficulties we've experienced:

* I give her assignments daily. from the mundane to the exciting. this keeps her mind busy. she enjoys them, they are not things she would have tried herself, and she is allowed to discuss difficulties she may have if she were to do them as stated. Therefore part of my "job" is thinking ahead and trying to come up with alternatives and allowances for her.

* We agreed on a contract, of sorts. One assignment I gave was to have her research this area. She sent me two documents, and we adapted them to our lifestyle. We used our screen names in the doc, then verbally did an "I agree" ceremony (ceremony? I guess it qualifies) on the phone. She was much more excited than I supposed she would be, and wasn't sure about the word "own" being in there, but for the next 3 days after, she's been on cloud 9.

[If anybody is interested in seeing the document upon which we based our agreement, please ask me. I would be more than happy to share. I will not share the document itself because I feel that is personal, pertaining specifically to me and pet, and our unique relationship.]

* I call her pet, she calls me master. Not all of the time, but generally. She is my pet, and she is mine to do with as I please. I, in return, watch out for her physical and mental welfare. This is not intended to be humiliating or painful. Our agreement set out limits and rules for us both.

* she enjoys the limitations i put on her. she likes giving me the control; it allows her to think and worry less about all of this. If I am calling the shots, she doesn't have to worry about what the next step is.

* Difficulty: She lives far away. Trust has to be paramount. I ask her questions and I expect 100% truth. She gets nothing less than that in exchange. Without the trust, this wouldn't work.

* Difficulty: We are both married. I haven't had a discussion with her yet about sharing this fact on the forum, but i'm 90% certain she's ok with it since we are not using our real names online anyway. Neither spouse has an interest in this lifestyle, and we both want it very badly. Neither of us want so leave the relationship we are in, either. We are, all 4, married for life, dedicated to never fooling around in real life. It's a challenge for us both, but what we have is hard to give up and neither of us wants to. We actually put in the "contract/agreement" that if this relationship in any way marred either marriage, it would be instantly null and void. I think that helps.

We email a lot, and IM a lot. I am not going further into that, and I forbid Kate to discuss it here too, for reasons we will discuss tonight. (Hi pet!)

* In the spirit of "Keep It Simple" I have also started to assign simple daily activities. One is having her brush every morning. She was brushing once daily, at night. She hasn't had any problems with dentistry, but part of our agreement is that her health and well-being are part of my responsibility. This daily ritual (or task, depending on point of view) keeps her thinking about me, and also validates how much I care for her.

* Another daily ritual established just yesterday is her journal. I read in this forum about the sub/bottom/pet/<insert your favorite term> keeping a written journal, and that this journal was to be accessible by the master for his reading pleasure. Being long distance makes that harder. I decided on a web log. It is private, limited access, and only I know about it. I require her to write daily, unless she has prior permission because of being out of town/etc. I told her I will probably not read any of it because it's for her, but I will occassionally read a page or two, or more if I like. I will never discuss this with her.
This daily ritual also keeps her thinking about me. It also gives her an outlet to help her with her own problems, and could be fun. It also gives me control. I can read it at my will and she doesn't know about it and cannot stop me.
e-mail was a consideration, but I wanted to separate our daily exchanges from the log. If you're interested in this yourself, you can set up two new anonymous accounts (yahoo, hotmail, gmail, etc), and let her send daily emails to it. You might read, you might not. The downside is that she might be able to set up read reciepts. Ask her not to. More control for you.

* along the lines of control and ownership, here's a snippet from memory. I'm remembering it poorly, but if pet asks permission to post it, I might let her. During one discussion, she shared that she and her hubby had a romp in the sack (It's a general rule that she tells me about every time, and generally in explicit detail; more ritual). I asked her about it, and she reffered "your pussy that i let him borrow last night." That kept me in smiles ALL day!!

There's more, but I wanted to share some of what was happening so far. I am finding that there is lots of information on the forum to fill in the 'blanks' as we find them, but that it's mostly a process of sharing ideas between us. Either of us may recommend something, we discuss it, and try it out.

One of her questions was "do I need to ask you permission to go to the bathroom." I hadn't thought of that, given our distance. Long story short, the rule has lots of conditions, but she is expected to ask me permission whenever feasible. I was uncomfortable with that for a long time, but I let her know just the other day, I'm finding it more and more delicious. This, too, gives the control to me, and lets her think about me more often.

How about THAT? Every time she feels the urge to use the bathroom, she thinks about ME. Can you imagine that? I never thought I could, but it's pretty darn powerful.

More later. Hope this helps.

[Evan_]

One more thing: I give her writing assignments too.

[Ozme52]

I am a newbie to the D/S lifestyle and quite frankly intrigued and very honored to be His. Our dilemma is the distance between us as in miles. I am in Minnesota and he is in PA.
Can I get some ideas on how to make that pain go away?

Get a bus pass.

[Ozme52]

Interesting approach Evan... a lot more control than I demand online... the brushing thing for example. On the other hand, I do like to get involved in hygiene matters of a more sexual nature.

[submissivewife]

Oh I hope you will us know how it all goes EvansKate. I am sure he will just love it.

[KermitsKeeper]

He was very pleased indeed. Also a bit surprised, as it wasn't as "subtle" as he expected. I think I enjoyed that even more than I enjoyed making it for him!

[Evan_]

It really is quite an awesome piece of work. Each piece of material means something special to her, and most (if not all) are pieces of material that were taken from actual clothes of hers. While it's not something I can carry around like I wanted to, it's very nice to know how much time and effort went into it. It's really wonderful.

[KermitsKeeper]

Thank you, Master Evan. You will be happy to know I have found something more suitable for you to carry. I will work on it when I can, and send it when you permit it.