Rules For A New Sub

[Dhys shadow]

Heres the deal, I'm compiling a list of "simple" rules for the new online sub.
The list must be simple to understand, and leave little doubt as to what
the new subs role will be and how they are expected to behave.
I would love all the input I could get, and would be thankful for your help,
But I'm not looking for rules like "must own cam and buttplug" I would like this to be a serious post.
I know some might not agree with the rules or the order in which they appear...but would like your imput also........

RULES (so far)

1. REAL LIFE COMES FIRST. (unbreakable rule)

2. RESPECT

3. OBEDIENCE

4. COMMUNICATION

5. OPEN & HONEST

6. LIMITS

7. EXPECTIONS



Dhys shadow
sub to Mistress Dhy

[Curious_1]

This is a great idea shadow!

Hope to see lots of replies to this one.

Curi

[_ID_]

Are these rules supposed to be for every submissive, or what each of us Dominants would expect out of a submissive?

V/R
ID

[SheepishJaina]

I think it's more of a guideline for what should always be remembered in a D/s relationship, things that can be forgotten along the road. Or that's the way it seems to me.

[Ozme52]

I've got nothing to add at the moment... so I'll just criticize... LOL

Submissives' Rules.... And if I were to make a list for the Dominants, would they be essentially any different?

That being said...

I agree with number 1. I try real hard not to disrupt Real Life. Not if I'm not there to help repair problems I cause.

Number 2 should be Communication.
Respect I can earn if my sub communicates.
Obedience will follow respect naturally.
Open and Honest are sort of implicit in the meaning of communication.
Limits and Expectations? and all else can be determined through communications.

[Timberwolf]

I agree with all of them though I do have a theory that respect should never need to be a rule. Any couple that aren't giving it to each other (and respect is always a two way game, if it's ever going to last) automaticailly already have a problem in my eyes. Not to say it's a bad thing to have on the list by any means, I'm just saying that for me the respect in a D/s situation should go without saying. Though It is probably worth re-emphasizing, especially to newcomers. But simply making respect a "rule" in the D/s sense doesn't work for me. Those who demand respect will find none. Those who earn it will find great amounts.

I'd also rate obedience on the list below either open and honest or communication, simply because I think you need to be honest, and you need to communicate, before one gets into any serious D/s obedience situations, not after.

Real life comes first is an excellent first rule though.

[Dhys shadow]

thank you all for the input.........it's great....
thats why I posted it.....
when I put respect into the list I should have said respectful...meaning to ALL Doms and Dommes....and to other subs as well.....
and your right about communication........it is a key role in any relationship...




Dhys shadow

[TomOfSweden]

RULES (so far)

1. REAL LIFE COMES FIRST. (unbreakable rule)

2. RESPECT

3. OBEDIENCE

4. COMMUNICATION

5. OPEN & HONEST

6. LIMITS

7. EXPECTIONS

That's not so much rules as guidelines. Limits need to be defined for all of them.

[Talia]

I moved this here because I think it fits better here....good luck

[AdamPowers]

That's not so much rules as guidelines. Limits need to be defined for all of them.

I tend to agree. These are wonderful guidelines... which honestly should naturally happen in ANY relationship. But if there were limits or definitions defined within each one of these, then you'd also have a good set of rules.

I could go into details, but a one or two sentence definition from what you are thinking would be a good start.

- Adam

[Msub44f]

I agree, a list of rules gives each party involved an equal starting point it lets each person know how the game is played and each rule except the first could hold different meanings for different people and thats someting they can explore together, to see if the experance works for each of them.

[slaveanita]

I like your rules a lot but agree that they are more general guidelines and that a BDSM relationship is dead in the water withour respect, communication and honesty; there's just no point from what I can see. I would like to see some specifics in there as well though if they are going to be rules for the submissive to follow, perhaps the communication rules could be that they will always let their dom know their schedule by e-mail first thing in the morning or the night before, with other required pieces of information that the Dom may want to give instructions on. Just an example but I agree, they are more general abstract goals than 'rules'.

Good luck. x

[violetgem]

RULES (so far)

1. REAL LIFE COMES FIRST. (unbreakable rule)

2. RESPECT

3. OBEDIENCE

4. COMMUNICATION

5. OPEN & HONEST

6. LIMITS

7. EXPECTIONS

Nice thread. To me, it seems like what you have so far can be the basic etiquette in any relationship. Interesting how that works out....