Anal sex

[bushman]

My mistress will use her strap-on two to three times per week on me. It is 8" long and about 2" wide. We use plenty of lube and go slow at first. She wants to use a bigger strap-on. What I need to know, if we continue this for a long time, will I get too loose and end up with depends when I get older? Could use some direction on this issue.

[-angelstar-]

i dunno. but while we're on a question and answer thing about anal sex. can i add on a question too?

if its the first time having anal sex.... what's the best position to do it from, to minimise the pain or something? if there's any such position in the first place

[Curtis]

To respond to -angelstar-, I would recommed doggie style, though some women swear by just lying face down on a bed with a couple of pillows under their tummy. It should definitely be a position in which you can RELAX.

[bushman]

angelstar, my mistress uses the doggie position most of the time, and after going slow for a few minutes, she can penetrate me fully with very little or no pain. Also, with me on my back and legs pulled up to my chest works good also. The most important thing is knowing if you "want" a little pain to go with the event. You should never have pain if it is not wanted.

[-angelstar-]

well, no i dont want pain to go with it if possible but that seems highly impossible doesnt it.

well i dunno. he's tried doing it with me doggie style. but usually once he gets a bit of it in... i just squirm away which i dont want to, but i keep thinking it'll hurt like hell so i just yeah, escape

so yeah that's why i was wondering if there was another way i could do it, without tearing anything inside

[bushman]

Yes, Do it in the doggie position, and get good and relaxed.. let your partner use there fingers and tongue to relax you and loosen you up a bit... Then, with the head of his cock pressing against your asshole, you slowly move backward onto his cock. You control ALL the movement.... how fast, how deep, and how many times. You can get used to the fullness at your own pace.. And when it feels right,,, you can fuck your own ass as hard and as deep as you like.. Just make sure you have a partner that lets you control everything from start to finish. You will get to know what you can take and what you enjoy.. play safe and enjoy...

[slavelucy]

angel - i actually find doggie to be quite brutal and painful for anal...(mmmm, er, ooops, sorry! LOL), although it is possible this was/is for psychological reasons as much as physical. When i first started anal, i always found that on my side, in a spoons type position worked best, and then took it from there. It can also be as sort of 'dominant' or undominant as you like in this position.

Oh, and yeah, it will probably hurt a bit either way, but if done properly and with some degree of consideration (at least until you're used it it! ) then it certainly shouldn't be agony.

bushman - i'm not entirely clear what your question is - "if we continue this for a long time, will i get too loose and end up with depends when i get older"....firstly, do you mean if you continue it for a long time in one session, or a long time as in many sessions over a number of months/years? Secondly 'ends up with depends'??

sl

[redEva]

Bushman is asking if there is possibility that due to the practising anal sex his sphincter loosens to the point where he will not be able to retain, where he would eventually end up being in the diapers.

My belief is that with sensible practise of anal sex that should not happen – as long as you do not cause damage to the sphincter like tearing it and/or do not practise extreme stretching for long periods of time (like fist sized but plugs) you should be fine.

I was following this thread with interest and was hoping one of the more medically qualified members of forum might give us some insight – but, unfortunately so far – no luck.

If you think about it – during normal recourse of biological functioning (and not to be disgusting but…) things of similar thickness often end up going out that way. So my conclusion is that sphincter is elastic enough to stretch that much (and a bit more) and still retain strength to close.

On the other subject – unlike lucy I always found the doggie style to be most comfortable. The key (in my opinion) is to be excited high enough, to want it and to be able to relax and accept it. And … USE A LOT OF LUBE!!!

Good luck and have fun all

[bushman]

slavelucy, What I meant was a long time in terms of years... over and over again.... and will I have to wear depends... LOL... adult diapers....... because I can't control myself anymore... too loose and stretched out..

[bushman]

redEva, Thank you for the reply... so far, so good, no tearing and tons of lube used. Still not sure about the fisting, but I will let my mistress use a larger strap-on if she wishes... It would be a benifit to have a "medical" person respond.. thank you

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by -angelstar-
i dunno. but while we're on a question and answer thing about anal sex. can i add on a question too?

if its the first time having anal sex.... what's the best position to do it from, to minimise the pain or something? if there's any such position in the first place

Well, gee, you haven't already gotten everyone else's opinion on best position, so I'll go ahead and tell you mine.

From just a purely physiological perspective, woman on top facing man should provide the least amount of discomfort for anal sex. It has actually seemed to work for me for some of my more sensitive partners.

[-angelstar-]

i dunno but similar to what redeva has said, i actually do think that excessive stretching of the anus will lead to it being less stretchable? as in, the muscles wont be able to function as well as before, so the back passage becomes 'loose'

although maybe it wont be as extreme as being unable to control your bowels...just that it just doesnt become as 'tight' as it used to be?

as for 'natural' stuff that's rather 'large' in size i dunno. but i think there's a difference between stuff the body produces, and stuff that is external? like i mean the body wouldnt make the 'natural' stuff into a size that it wont be able to expel....

but that's just my warped way of thinking. i better leave it to the professionals to clarify this

[-angelstar-]

Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
Well, gee, you haven't already gotten everyone else's opinion on best position, so I'll go ahead and tell you mine.

From just a purely physiological perspective, woman on top facing man should provide the least amount of discomfort for anal sex. It has actually seemed to work for me for some of my more sensitive partners.

hmm. i never thought of doing it that way... but now that you mention it, if it does ease discomfort for normal sex, it should do likewise for anal sex tho i'll probably just chicken out of it and put it into the other place instead... but *puts the thought away for further consideration*

[bushman]

I think you do become a little looser,,,, because it really doesn't hurt as much as it used to.. I'am always carful, but it sure is hard to stop when it feels so good. Maybe if my mistress goes "bigger" with me, we will only do it once a week. That might make it a better treat. waiting a little longer could heighten the event...

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by bushman
slavelucy, What I meant was a long time in terms of years... over and over again.... and will I have to wear depends... LOL... adult diapers....... because I can't control myself anymore... too loose and stretched out..

You'll be fine. The human body is amazingly recuperative.

The only way that I would be concerned, if I were you, is if you repeatedly tear the muscles of your anus. If this occurs, move to a smaller dildo. Repeated tearing of the muscles and/or the lining can lead to the development of scar tissue in your anus and rectum and, believe me, you don't want that.

As far as concerns go, I think incotenence should be the least of your concerns. I'd be more concerned with hemorroids.

[bushman]

thank you BDSM_Tourguide, any information is appreciated in trying to enjoy scenes without any long lasting problems....

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by bushman
I think you do become a little looser,,,, because it really doesn't hurt as much as it used to..

That's because you're getting used to it. Many dominants make their submissives wear butt plugs or participate in anal sex at least twice a week in order to "train" their anus. It does loosen it somewhat, but not significantly. Mostly, it just makes it easier for the submissive to take anal penetration without too much pain.

Think of it this way: Women can give birth to something the size of a watermelon and their vaginas still retain their natural tightness, despite that fact. Same thing for the anus. Just because you have something big going into it or coming out of it, it will stil heal and resume its normal state. Perhaps a little wear and stretch will show, but as I said in my ealier post, nothing very extreme, I would think.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by -angelstar-
hmm. i never thought of doing it that way... but now that you mention it, if it does ease discomfort for normal sex, it should do likewise for anal sex tho i'll probably just chicken out of it and put it into the other place instead... but *puts the thought away for further consideration*

That tip was passed along to me by a woman that suffered from cervical cancer. After her surgeries, vaginal sex was too uncomfortable for her so, in order to still have a sex life with her husband, she moved to anal sex. That was the position she found worked best for her, and apparently a few of her friends, but I didn't say that.

[AndrewBlack]

Your anus actually has two sphincters, one of which is mainly under voluntary control, the other is not. Certainly regular penetration can alter sphincter tone and function, usually it doesn't cause symptoms because of the duel mechanism which helps maintain continence

[albear]

ditto above

you have two anal sphincters, the outer can be relaxed or contracted at will. the inner sphincter has a mostly involuntary action. pressure coming downwards (ie waste) causes the ring of muscles to relax and let it pass. the inner ring can be "trained" to loosen up, but unless you tear the muscles, usually returns to it's normal elasticity. i don't think there would be any long term fecal incontinence problems, as long as it's kept simple, a lot of lube and a lot of love

keep in mind this is a non-medical opinion.
hope it's of some help

[AndrewBlack]

Actually it is not uncommon for the external sphincter to become weakened by regular intercourse. You can only really appreciate this when someone is anaesthetized though.

[slavelucy]

Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
Think of it this way: Women can give birth to something the size of a watermelon and their vaginas still retain their natural tightness, despite that fact. Same thing for the anus. .[/COLOR]

But the vagina was designed with giving birth in mind...hence why the tissues and muscles are much more recuperative and elastic....i mean, i agree that the anus can withstand an awful lot of wear and tear (thank god! ), but i don't think the comparison to the vagina is a good one all the same.

sl

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by AndrewBlack
Actually it is not uncommon for the external sphincter to become weakened by regular intercourse. You can only really appreciate this when someone is anaesthetized though.

I think a better term for it would be relaxed, not weakened. Weakened signifies that something will not assume its previous state, which, by my experience, is untrue. Go a month or so without having anal sex with a woman and her anus will tighten up again and become harder to penetrate.

I stand by my orignal replies.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by slavelucy
But the vagina was designed with giving birth in mind...hence why the tissues and muscles are much more recuperative and elastic....i mean, i agree that the anus can withstand an awful lot of wear and tear (thank god! ), but i don't think the comparison to the vagina is a good one all the same.

sl

I dunno, lucy, I've had things come out of my ass that were nearly as big as my daughter. LMAO


Seriously, though, the perineal lining of the anus is very similar to that or the vagina. A lot of the same muscle types and whatnot. I would dare to guess, judging by what our doctors told us during FF's pregnancy, that much of the loosening of the vagina and then the contraction afterwards is done by hormonal response and not by pure physical force.

[whippedcream]

I was doing anal like 2 or 3 times a week for almost a year. I don’t think there’s been any permanent loosening, since after a month of not doing it, I wasn’t used to it anymore and it was at least as difficult as the first time.

Difficult, but not necessarily painful in a bad way. The key thing is to make sure you're given more time to relax *after* your partner is inside. Even if they’ve stretched you out really well and entered carefully, usually you clench up and need a second to adjust. If your partner is attentive and responds well to verbal directions, it might not even be necessary to worry about controlling the movement yourself. I thought it was romantic that no matter how good it was feeling for him, he would always hold back for my benefit, until I gave the ok to speed up.

If you’re worried about pain, I wouldn’t recommend lying on your back and pulling your knees up. You feel very trapped and it goes very deep and there’s not a whole lot you can do about it. Hands and knees, or lying flat on my belly, always worked best for me. The only problem with that is your partner can’t see your face, so if you want him/her to ease up you’ll have to say something out loud.

Oh and one more bit of buttknowledge: We’d read someplace that you should always use a condom and we did, but once we made the mistake of getting those non-latex ones that kind of remind me of saran wrap. It was all wrinkly, not smooth like the good old Trojans, and rubbed horribly and I was bleeding. So those condoms are not the way to go.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Originally posted by whippedcream
Oh and one more bit of buttknowledge: We’d read someplace that you should always use a condom

I've never used a condom for anal sex. I don't really see the point to it, unless you're just being conscious of your health.

Sounds like you'd have been better off not using one, too, whippedcream.

[Curtis]

Condoms for anal sex are mostly an HIV preventative, though lubricated condoms are sometimes recommended for ease of entry. That wouldn't be neccessary, though, if you use lots of lubricant to begin with. I have read one source that says condoms lessen the discomfort for the guy doing the penetrating, to which I can only reply, "Boo, hoo!"

[jaro_99]

angelstar...go with the top position to keep some control and allow your confidence to build...later you can get into the gymnastic stuff if it suits

you're bound still to feel some kind of discomfort at first - and its worth remembering that not everyone finds anal play to be total fun...some people actually find its not for them

still...your sphincters are muscles...so they should be able to be trained...and in a short time learn to accommodate most 'normal' sized thing anyone would want to place there

I think rather than pain the more likely comfort issue will be getting used to having that 'filled' feeling...like you're caught in the middle of a bowel movement

my only comment on condoms and lube...use plenty of wet stuff if you need it...but I also think it can make it harder for the other person to control the penetration...so if you're using lube to ease the entry just take it as a sign of the need for extra caution lest someone just 'slip' and give you the full length all in one go!!! - less of an issue if you're riding high :-)

and yeah...try and relax

[-angelstar-]

it is actually quite hard to relax, if you're absolutely against enemas.

then you keep worring the whole time like, omg what if its not clean in there. lols.

[bushman]

anglestar, nice to be clean "down there", but it all washes off with no problems...