Wording question

[marlen]

Hi,

this is my first post to this forums & let me start by saying that I'm happy to have found a place like this. After years on the net, this is the first place with erotic content that does not try to empty my purse as soon as I click anything. Thanks for that!

Anyway, after browsing these forums for a while, I thought this might be the right place to ask what I have been wondering for a while now.

I am very much into bondage, up to now mostly in my fantasies (meaning that I enjoy bondage fantasies & stories & tried to tie myself up with varying results), and I really would like to act out more of those fantasies some time (soon). I have been in several relationships & I also have had "singular encounters" with guys who were interested in that kind of fantasy. Yet, the concept of bondage seems to be completely tied (oops, no pun intended) to the concept of pain. And I have no interest in that.

To say it clearly, I want to be restricted; tied up & teased. I want someone to take control over me, telling me what to do & when to orgasm and so on. But I don't want to be spanked, or hurt in any other way. Pain just does not turn me on. (I've tried it, or, better, have been tried in that respect.)

The question is, how do I make that clear when meeting new (or talking to known) possible "Masters"? It seems that whenever I say the word "bondage", everybody assumes that there is a whip involved. Are there better words for what I want? What are the codes?

Thanks,
Marlen

[Barton]

You could make it clear as crystal by repeating what you have posted here. It is certainly stated clear enough.

Barton

[BDSM_Tourguide]

I would also suggest doing what Barton said. Make things clear for the people with whom you are trying to meet or carry on conversation. Make them aware that pain does nothing for you, but you like to be tied up.

If you want specific wording, tell people you have a bondage fetish and enjoy being restrained, but that you are not a masochist at all. Most people that know what they're doing and are serious about having a relationship with you will understand what you mean and will not protest.

[MrJerseyGuy]

I agree with TG & Barton.

Just make it clear that the BD and SM are separate initials. You don't seem to have a problem doing that. Although the complete lack of pain seems like a partial waste of a perfectly good female body to me!!! LOL